Booze

Mama Walker's Breakfast Liqueurs

Mama said WHAT? Mama said 2 parts Maple Bacon to 1 part Jameson for a breakfast of champions. Mama Walker's Breakfast Liqueurs cater to legit drinkers, legit breakfast lovers, and old people with no teeth who must follow...

Lip Chaser Liquor Buddy

Discontinued

Don't be too disappointed that Lip Chaser shot follow-ups contain no alcohol. Your shot will still have plenty of it, and Lip Chasers replace the booze with something much, much better: making out. An edible coating applied...

Ruckus Hoptimus Prime Beer

$6.49 - $87.99 from Half Time »

Ruckus Brewing's Hoptimus Prime enjoys a wicked twist of irony: instead of transforming those who drink it into sage and powerful leaders of an elite race of impenetrable robots, at 9.0% ABV the double IPA reduces them...

Sober Up Detoxification Enhancer

$21 from Sober Up »

I sure hope my balance, mental clarity, and liver are enjoying themselves right now because my rippin' headache has yet to feel the benefits of Sober Up, the detoxification enhancer I just chugged like Kool-Aid. I know...

Vaportini Liquor Inhaler

$39.99 - $149.99 from Vaportini »

Those who do not live in Washington or Colorado, I have a consolation inhalation prize for you. A glass globe-and-funnel contraption straight out of the Real Genius chem lab, the Vaportini kit gassifies alcohol into a...

Mad Scientist Absinthe Kits

$31.50 - $79.50 from Absinthes.com »

Sometimes it's fun to play mad scientist. Particularly when doing so involves hallucinogens. OK, so they removed the thujone component from absinthe, but still, 80% of any experience is perception, right? So if I think...

Homemade Gin Kit

$39.95 from Homemade Gin »

Mommy, where does gin come from? Vodka, Bobby. Gin comes from vodka. At least if it's homemade. Shunning expensive, and possibly illegal, distilling equipment, the Homemade Gin Kit allows those who possess it to create...

Medea Custom LED Message Vodka

Medea Vodka is proof (80 proof, to be more specific) once again that what's on the inside really doesn't count. Because even if the liquor's crap, who doesn't want a vodka bottle with a programmable, running LED marquee...

Whisky Advent Calendar

$241.12 from Master of Malt »

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

World's Strongest Beer

For Brewmeister's Armageddon, the number 65 almost inconceivably corresponds to two very important attributes of the beer: its price for a 330 ml bottle; and its alcohol content. Yep, $65 for 65% ABV. Brewer Lewis Shand...

The Football Briefcase

F nuclear codes and attacks. Booze, cards, Red Bull, cash, mints, and first aid are a real man's real tickets to power and life-altering--or at least night-altering--decisions. The briefcase. The weapons. The Football...

The Best Shots You've Never Tried

$9.81 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crème de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Ole Smoky Moonshine

The Ole Smoky Moonshine family has honed the art of whiskey makin' since the early days of Smoky Mountain settlement. Distilling was a way to survive during hard times, both in terms of economics and, we presume, morale...

Concentrated Beer & Carbonator

Like most people, the frequency of my hiking and camping excursions would increase exponentially if only I could incorporate more carbonation into the endeavors. What's that you say? Come September 2012 Pat's Backcountry...

Bacon Maple Doughnut Beer

Discontinued

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked...

Freedom Flask Liquor Bladder

$19.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Vinderpants - Underwear for Wine

$7.27 from Amazon »

I guess the novelty well of Handerpants has begun to run dry, so from the cratered depths of their derrieres, its makers have pulled out another way to capitalize on the kitschiness and comic relief of placing underwear...

Kraken Flasks

$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch...

Bombs Away Shot Glass Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air. Cue music. Cue fireworks. And cue bottoms up. This set of two Bombs Away shot glasses arms liquor shooters with the makings of an explosively good time. Just don't...

S**tfaced Horse Wine Bottle Holder

$26.56 from Amazon »

The lesson here is when a racehorse never drinks water and always drinks wine, he doesn't win races, he becomes an alcoholic. And while manufacturer Rivers Edge would have us think we're doing track retiree Stewball a...

Collapsible Shot Glass Key Ring

$7.49 from Amazon »

Collapsible shot glass on a key ring. I think my grandma had one of these. She used to put water from the drinking fountain in it for me when I was still too short to reach the spout. No wonder I've always found the scent...

Don't Break the Bottle Wine Puzzle

$18.99 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur...

Liquor Bottle Lock

$15.99 from GoKeyless »

All those times I bring a bottle of vodka to work for lunch and some d-bag from HR sneaks into the freezer and takes a few swigs like I'm not going to notice? Gone. And, at $15.99, the Liquor Lock is way cheaper than...

Breweries of the United States

According to The Map of United States Breweries, Americans have over seven square feet of wall-coverin' love for beer. In fact, I think the nickname "America's Favorite Pastime" was given to baseball, a sport during which...