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Tuesday, March 10, 2015
$24.95 - $84.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

Thursday, March 26, 2015
$180 - $265 from Black Ember »

If James Bond needed a backpack to tote his textbooks and laptop to physics class, I bet a Black Ember is what he'd choose. Modular, waterproof, and very, very black, these bags are customizable with an array of accessories...

Sunday, March 29, 2015
$2k from Etsy »

Mirror, mirror on my balls, who's the most desperate for attention of them all? Cosplay, Halloween, street performances, sure, they're all valid reasons to wear Etere Shop's Mirrorman Suit. But as the great Michael Jackson said, if you want to make the world a better place, you gotta start with the man in the mirror....

Saturday, March 7, 2015
$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks that...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling the glove...

Wednesday, March 25, 2015
$39.90 - $159 from Urban Tool »

They lie somewhere between backpacks, messenger bags, and places to store your gun. They're Urban Tool Shoulder Holsters. And they may be eye-rollingly hipster, but hey, at least they also provide a compact means of stashing your phone, wallet, keys, cards, music, and full-size tablet that won't get you shit from your friend Cornelius for carrying a man purse....

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like they've...

Sunday, August 28, 2011
Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$825 - $3,750 from McWhinney Designs »

Jeff McWhinney designs wedding rings for men who move. Like a little more than from their desk to the john, the car to the house, and the couch to the fridge. Hikers, golfers, climbers, weight lifters, even really intense...

Sunday, March 15, 2015
$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out, Chris...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
$350 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

Tuesday, March 17, 2015
$9.99 from Magic Tatts »

Want to make your tattoos come to life without eating hallucinogenic fungi? Then trade the magic mushrooms for some Magic Tatts, temporary tattoos that interact with an accompanying iOS/Android app to create animated, 3D tattoos...

Friday, March 27, 2015
$29.69 from Firebox.com »

Been looking for some tabletop art to spruce up the living room? How's about a pair of candles made from the ears of Sloth and the mouth of the fat lady's face Arnold wore in Total Recall? These odd waxen pieces, called Bodily...

Saturday, August 30, 2014
$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them what...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models from...

Thursday, January 15, 2015
$68 - $108 from Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But it's...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off your...

Thursday, October 30, 2014
By: Behance

In describing his Belt Scooter, Hungarian student Adam Torok talks about humans' physical need to move around, the invention of the combustion engine, the independence of owning a car, and some mumbo jumbo pertaining to the...

Thursday, July 3, 2014
$31.99 from Amazon »

LED pasties glow so bright you can even see them through a T-shirt! So ladies can don a pair without exposing the Breasterson twins! And...wait, that's a selling point? Wamp, wamp. These pasties suck. Unless you wear them...

Thursday, November 20, 2014

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost wetting...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America this...

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only thing...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood seem...

Thursday, March 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Friday, March 20, 2015
$62.14 from Amazon »

So is this why women carry around purses the size of their chest cavities? They're packing 3 liters of wine (with complete tapping system!) everywhere they go?...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$9.19 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem tighty...

Thursday, January 8, 2015
$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but comfort...

Friday, December 12, 2014
$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype Design...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$90 from Ali Express »

Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls are...

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Tyler Durden doesn't need any help from pheromones to get laid, but, uh, I could maybe use some if they work. And Tactical Soap maker Grondyke Soap Company assures me the evidence suggests that they do. Tactical Soap is a...

Thursday, December 20, 2012
Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce tritium...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
By: Quirky

Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

Saturday, February 21, 2015
$7.49 from Amazon »

Do you know how often I go to bed without brushing my teeth because I have fallen asleep on the couch, or stumbled home drunk, or am just flat out too lazy to go brush my teeth? Probably at least as often as I do gather the...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014
$249.95 - $269.95 from Amazon »

As if riding a motorcycle while protecting your skin from flaying off and bones from splitting in half weren't cool enough, Knox is going to make it look like you have mech hands in the process. More armor than gloves, Handroids...

Friday, February 27, 2015
$85 from Kickstarter »

Quarter Century pants are just like every other pair of pants you own, except you'll still be wearing Quarter Centuries long after every other pair of pants you own has been relegated to: weekends only; the back of the closet;...

Sunday, July 13, 2014
$275 - $375 from Recon 6 »

The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation spawned...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Saturday, July 12, 2014
$120 from Ritot »

August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...

Saturday, February 21, 2015
$99.99 from OGIO »

I think I could collect backpacks like some people collect Rolexes or Lambos. Because I love all of their zippers and pockets and organization of life compartments. And because I'm not some sort of flashy high roller. I'm...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
$750 from Etsy »

JP Rishea of Bionic Concepts has created a bit of a name for himself in the cyber/steampunk gadgetry world. From his exo-gauntlet to his gas-powered LED wings, Rishea's designs always emerge as strangely tasty meals for the...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$38.50 - $44.90 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

Sunday, February 8, 2015

If you're too humble to claim the entire solar system--including Pluto--revolves around you, project smaller-scale dominance by becoming King of Theo Fennell's Castle Ring. This intricate, hand-crafted medieval fantasy is...

Monday, January 14, 2013

The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing up...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014
$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all time...

Tuesday, March 3, 2015
$200 from Etsy »

Will you be mine in holy nerd matrimony? In sickness (in which case I will give you some Red, Blue, or Green Potion) and in health (in which case I will guard your health bar with my Master Sword), in good Hyrulian times and...

Sunday, November 16, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them up...

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100% acrylic...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves the...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Thursday, November 20, 2014
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

See, sometimes you can have too much of a good thing, but other times...you should turn every possible 21st century EDC item into a flux capacitor. That's ThinkGeek's current modus operandi. Hot on the heels of their Flux...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for $3.21...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$100 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads of...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

Friday, February 20, 2015
$1,100 - $3k from Etsy »

Doctor Who's magical, time-traveling police box is pervasive enough in pop culture to have inspired not just one, but two thousand-dollar-plus unique and artisan-crafted diamond rings. Probably more, really, but this is the...

Thursday, September 25, 2014
$25 from DUBS »

I always wear earplugs when I go out at night. Not only do they protect what little hearing I have left, but if someone ugly comes up and tries to talk to me they also give me an easy out: I just point at my ears, conjure...

Sunday, January 18, 2015
$265.50 from Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$675 from Etsy »

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and in...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Why should ladies and rappers get all the fancy jewelry? John Biagiotti of Metamorphosis Design believes men should be able to get in on the expensive gifts and signs of baller status too. Men like you and me. Men who dig...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and shoulders...

Thursday, February 12, 2015
$99 from Amazon »

To raze or not to raze, that is the balding man's question. And thankfully it's one my lush bonsai tree of locks and I will never have to answer. But for the Thinners and Receders out there, plus anyone who just digs going...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, ThinkGeek is happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with their...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from my...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$29 - $69 from Kickstarter »

This one's for the ladies. I think. It's hard to keep track of who likes what anymore....