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Wednesday, October 22, 2014
$56.48 - $90.57 from Amazon »

5.11's TDU shirt gets Rapid Assault designation because the company says it's the ultimate upper wear for tactical use and battle. A fast-drying, lightweight poly/cotton/spandex knit comprises the body's fabric to wick away...

Wednesday, October 22, 2014
$5 - $20 from Etsy »

No girl who applies one of Seventh Skin's Game of Thrones temporary tattoos better get mad at me for staring at her chest. The intricacy, the detail, and the artistry of these short-term odes to Houses Targaryen, Stark, Baratheon...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling the glove back off also means pulling a layer or two of skin off with it. The piece is recommended for philosophically-charged art and oddity collectors, the S&M crowd, and individuals...

Saturday, October 18, 2014
$5 - $15 from Emoji Masks »

Only Emojis make it possible to text friends realistic piles of steaming poo, and only Emoji Masks make it acceptable to call them shitheads. Wearing one for costume parties gets two Thumbs Up and three Grin Emojis; wearing...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014
$49.95 from Amazon »

This Liquid Latex Body Paint Black Light Kit is pretty self-explanatory. I don't have much to say about it. Except that, in perusing the image gallery above...I think I found Waldo. It wasn't even that hard. I mean, before...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost wetting mine just thinking of the pleasure and Instagram gems I'd take as the doors bing! open and they look up from their phones or away from the co-worker they are mere days away...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like they've...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$825 - $3,750 from McWhinney Designs »

Jeff McWhinney designs wedding rings for men who move. Like a little more than from their desk to the john, the car to the house, and the couch to the fridge. Hikers, golfers, climbers, weight lifters, even really intense...

Thursday, October 16, 2014
$65 from Unikia »

Not that it's not incredibly sexy when you caress the lady with whom you're entwined on the couch with a ripe and sweaty foot that makes her gag and recoil, or an ice block of a set of toes that makes her yelp and shoot straight...

Saturday, August 30, 2014
$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them what...

Thursday, July 3, 2014
$31.99 from Amazon »

LED pasties glow so bright you can even see them through a T-shirt! So ladies can don a pair without exposing the Breasterson twins! And...wait, that's a selling point? Wamp, wamp. These pasties suck. Unless you wear them...

Sunday, August 28, 2011
Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing...

Sunday, October 12, 2014
$299.99 from The Horror Dome »

True, this walking dead costume doesn't look precisely like the Walking Dead costumes set to lumber across your TV screen tonight, but The Horror Dome's version is still pretty convincing with its movie quality gore and flesh-starved...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014
$79.99 from Leggage »

A laptop case for frequent travelers, the few inches of of tipi-ed bulk Leggage adds to its frame says it will elevate, massage, and assuage your restless feet and legs during miserable, interminable flights (i.e., all flights)....

Thursday, October 9, 2014
$41.65 from Amazon »

I wouldn't be a red-blooded American male if I didn't direct your attention to at least one sexy costume this Halloween. (Note to Ladies: My other qualities include strapping, sensitive, and available.) And since one of our...

Thursday, September 25, 2014
$25 from DUBS »

I always wear earplugs when I go out at night. Not only do they protect what little hearing I have left, but if someone ugly comes up and tries to talk to me they also give me an easy out: I just point at my ears, conjure...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
$350 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models from...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America this...

Thursday, October 2, 2014
$694.95 from Composite Effects »

At first I just thought this Venom mask was realistic-looking in a cool way. Then I watched the video of the guy silently barking and growling with it on, and I still think it's realistic-looking. In a way that indicates I'm...

Wednesday, October 1, 2014
$99.95 - $109.95 from OppoSuits »

Why settle for becoming a walking eyesore from just the waist up? Sweaters now have some competition for the World's Tackiest title, courtesy of tailored male fashion. OppoSuits are...did you figure it out?...the opposite...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off your...

Thursday, October 2, 2014
$158.99 from Amazon »

Its vendors describe this gorilla toting a human around in a cage as "the most incredible adult costume you've ever seen." And while the only way that statement could be even remotely true is if Kate Upton were wearing it...topless...I...

Saturday, July 12, 2014
$120 from Ritot »

August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...

Wednesday, October 1, 2014
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

These caped superhero rompers for ladies look like pajamas, comfy Halloween costumes, and instant pants snake charmers all rolled into one. Another trifecta the onesies manage to nail:...

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

In 2011 Nike made 1,500 pairs of Marty McFly 2015 Air Mag replicas and auctioned them to benefit The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. Rumor has it the company will release another round, this one with the...

Sunday, July 13, 2014
$275 - $375 from Recon 6 »

The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation spawned...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$12.99 - $16.99 from Amazon »

I don't always drink milk, but when I do I prefer Dos Boobies. No slogan has truly arrived before it gets a meme, and no meme has truly arrived before it gets a T-shirt. Or, in this case, a baby romper. Take The Most Interesting...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$90 from Ali Express »

Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls are...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood seem...

Thursday, March 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$9.42 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem tighty...

Thursday, October 16, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Landon Meier's Baby Head Masks have become our creepiest, and possibly most popular costume post ever. But for those unwilling to pay the $350 piper for one, or those not quite mean enough to make the rest of the Halloween...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
By: Quirky

Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014
$118 - $128 from The UT Lab »

The Unbelievable Testing Laboratory began inspiring awe in people who wear shoes last year when they created this 5.3-ounce pair out of paper. They've since released a couple of additional styles, but their latest foray into...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$38.50 - $44.90 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
$760 from Etsy »

JP Rishea of Bionic Concepts has created a bit of a name for himself in the cyber/steampunk gadgetry world. From his exo-gauntlet to his gas-powered LED wings, Rishea's designs always emerge as strangely tasty meals for the...

Thursday, December 20, 2012
Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce tritium...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

Tuesday, September 9, 2014
$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers came...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for $3.21...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Monday, January 14, 2013

The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing up...

Monday, September 8, 2014
$90 - $109 from Clifton »

Not that I would ever agree to shackle myself to the soul-sucking institution of marriage, but if a lady were to ask for my hand I guess I would at least pretend to think about it if she presented my ring (made of meteorites...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014
$69 - $385 from Jorge Pong »

HUBOPTIC creator Jorge Pong has a few ideas for your next DJing gig. Or EDM show. Or killer robot with a soft spot for a heavy bass line costume. His electroluminescent equalizer masks come in both half- and full-face styles...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all time...

Saturday, September 13, 2014
$229 from OnePiece »

Take my breath away is right. This Top Gun jumpsuit does it in the comfort of 100% French terry cotton too. So soft, according to maker OnePiece, I won't even know it's there. And really, how long will it be there once the...

Saturday, September 20, 2014
$32.99 from Amazon »

WARNING: Keep Chub Suits away from fire. Ha! All I can think of after seeing these tub-o costumes and reading that line is the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Kids, take note: if you wear an inflatable Chub Suit this Halloween...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and shoulders...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$100 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads of...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves the...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Friday, April 11, 2014
$179 - $229 from Film Jackets »

While the Captain America Winter Soldier leather jacket doesn't exactly have the same presence as the Captain America motorcycle suit, in a way it's a much more practical investment because A) it's way cheaper, and B) you...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$29 - $69 from Kickstarter »

This one's for the ladies. I think. It's hard to keep track of who likes what anymore....

Sunday, June 29, 2014
$188 from Momentum Labs »

Smartphones are getting bigger...and they're getting smaller. Not that the Moment smartwatch is a fully functional phone per se, but with its wraparound 360-degree touch surface design and full QWERTY keyboard, wearers will...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$14.99 from Sir Hare »

I say if you're balding, go bald or go home. Because if you stay out everyone's just going to shit on your receding hairline, bad rug, or sprouting plugs behind your back....

Sunday, September 28, 2014
$135 from indiegogo »

In cities with bitter winters, it seems like it's always one extreme or the other: not enough clothing and you're colder than a well digger's asshole; or too many layers and you're walking around in -2 degrees sweating like...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$23 - $55 from Fidget »

Maybe you fidget because you're anxious. Because you're bored. Because you have ADHD. Because you're 5 minutes away from walking into the biggest interview of your life. Because you just drank 11 cups of coffee. Now fidgeters...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from my...

Sunday, March 9, 2014
$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields, all...

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$77 - $85 from Kickstarter »

The Tatooine Sand Watch isn't just a wristwatch made with actual sand (a feat in and of itself), it's a wristwatch made with actual Tatooine sand. Collected directly from the desert planet's own grounds. Also known as the...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and in...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$65 from Etsy »

A xenomorph is a pretty good choice for a knuckle duster topper I think. According to Wikipedia, these types of Aliens, unlike many others pitted against humans in the sci-fi genre, "do not have a technological civilization...

Monday, August 11, 2014
$99 - $199 from Scribble »

Scribble INK and Scribble STYLUS say they can scan, record, and then replicate on paper or digital screen any color on earth. Any color. On earth. Just by holding one of the pens up to the color--whether it be on a shirt...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$18 - $52 from Design By Humans »

While it is abundantly clear that this image of naked Princess Leia draped in the hide of Chewbacca is just an illustration, looking at it still stirs up the strangest mix of revulsion and horniness within me. Chewbacca, grotesquely...