Style

Thorns In - The Glove You Can't Take Off

$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling...

Bullet Bouquets

$24.95 - $84.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne

"Steel on steel on rubber on road." And also some sweetness and spice so you won't make the ladies gag. Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne seeks to bottle the essence of racing so you can enjoy your fast and furious experiences...

Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...

Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

McWhinney Active Wedding Rings

$825 - $3,750 from McWhinney Designs »

Jeff McWhinney designs wedding rings for men who move. Like a little more than from their desk to the john, the car to the house, and the couch to the fridge. Hikers, golfers, climbers, weight lifters, even really intense...

Watermelon Swimsuit

$43 from Batoko »

Oh goodness! I seem to have walked right into a watermelon! It feels so wet and squishy and...gooooood. The fruit of the summer becomes the suit of the summer with Batoko's jaunty watermelon one-piece. No word on whether...

Captain America Shield Backpack

$59.99 from ThinkGeek »

School's out for summer. But school is not out forever. Sorry. Alice Cooper lied. I also hear the Age of Ultron is coming. Followed by a Civil War. Better gather your EDC pens, notebooks, and laptops and shield up!...

Baby Head Masks

$350 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

I Am Chewie Hoodie

$60 from We Love Fine »

Holy crap, Rheurrrrrr Glglglglg Rararararara, and Hubba, hubba! It's the furriest, frilliest Chewbacca hoodie yet, modeled by the furriest, hottest Wookiee fan yet. I Am Chewie certainly isn't the first attempt to bring...

Anatomical Leggings

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off...

Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

Black Ember Modular Backpacks

$180 - $265 from Black Ember »

If James Bond needed a backpack to tote his textbooks and laptop to physics class, I bet a Black Ember is what he'd choose. Modular, waterproof, and very, very black, these bags are customizable with an array of accessories...

LED Pasties

$29.99 from Amazon »

LED pasties glow so bright you can even see them through a T-shirt! So ladies can don a pair without exposing the Breasterson twins! And...wait, that's a selling point? Wamp, wamp. These pasties suck. Unless you wear...

AyeGear 13-Pocket Hoodie

$99 from Amazon »

A hoodie with 13 internal pockets that won't add discomfort or make you look like Pillsbury's new Hipster Doughboy when you fill them? AyeGear's H13 should be welcome news for tech and gear heads who can't leave home...

Belt Scooter

In describing his Belt Scooter, Hungarian student Adam Torok talks about humans' physical need to move around, the invention of the combustion engine, the independence of owning a car, and some mumbo jumbo pertaining...

Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

Star Wars Schematics Hawaiian Shirt

$43.31 - $47.95 from Amazon »

As entities, Hawaii and Star Wars seem pretty discordant to me. Beach with palm trees and umbrella drinks meets outer space and black-plastic-composite-clad Darth Vader? Compatibility: <5%. But take a Hawaiian shirt...

Betabrand Storrist Pack

$115.20 from Beta Brand »

Currently sloshing around in Betabrand's Think Tank*: the Storrist Pack, by professional photographer, cyclist, and Scotsman Sandy Carson. In answer to the call of his own EDC needs, Carson created a backpack that can...

Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Anti-Kidnapping Watch Band

$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America...

Fundies: Underwear Built for Two

$7.99 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...

Vagisoft Clothing

$68 - $108 from Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...

Crosskix EVA Athletic Shoes

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though Crosskix probably wouldn't appreciate the comparison, for the sake of simplicity I'll say these representatives of foam composite footwear are like Crocs for CrossFitters. Yes, you can slip them on and wear them...

Alien Mind Control Mask

$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

Tokables - Smokable Bracelets

$15 - $25 from Tokables »

I meant to post about Tokables herb pipe bracelets for 4/20 yesterday but I got distracted by...um...a fat bud. And some poutine this Canadian brought to the office at around 4:28. Have you ever had poutine? Duuuude....

Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

50 Pearl-Laden Oysters

$90 from Ali Express »

Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls...

Tritium Keychains

Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

Defender Anti-Theft Backpack

By: Quirky »

Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

Cyberpunk Headpieces

$116.43 from Etsy »

OK Google...uh, I mean...here are a bunch of cyberpunk headpieces to suit futuristic cosplay ventures and desires to wear an ornate conversation piece on your face. Artist and designer Dominic Elvin takes his inspiration...

Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie

Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Urban Tool Shoulder Holsters

$39.90 - $159 from Urban Tool »

They lie somewhere between backpacks, messenger bags, and places to store your gun. They're Urban Tool Shoulder Holsters. And they may be eye-rollingly hipster, but hey, at least they also provide a compact means of stashing...

Biomechanical Spinal Armor

Sold Out from Etsy »

JP Rishea of Bionic Concepts has created a bit of a name for himself in the cyber/steampunk gadgetry world. From his exo-gauntlet to his gas-powered LED wings, Rishea's designs always emerge as strangely tasty meals for...

Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear

$38.50 - $44.90 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Recon 6 Utility Watch

$275 - $375 from Recon 6 »

The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation...

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

The Batman Collection

$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Ritot Projection Watch

$120 from Ritot »

August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...

World's Thinnest Watch

The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing...

EDGUP Neckline Shaving Template

$15 from Amazon »

It would be nice not to have to go to the barber, or the toilet in my mama's bathroom, every time I need my neckline trimmed up. Or, as my mama says, "weed whacked and de-brambled." Like I didn't inherit my lush, albeit...

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

Knox Handroid Hand Armor Gloves

$249.95 - $269.95 from Amazon »

As if riding a motorcycle while protecting your skin from flaying off and bones from splitting in half weren't cool enough, Knox is going to make it look like you have mech hands in the process. More armor than gloves...

Litographs - Entire Books on T-Shirts

$34 from Litographs »

Litographs guarantees they will sell you the best book you've ever worn. Each of their T-shirts features an artistic interpretation of classic book titles shaped using the text of the book itself. As in the actual words--every...

Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

Heroes Never Sleep Sleep Masks

Unless you're jacked up on the caffeine and dinoflagellates in Power Glow you may need some shuteye every now and then, but superheroes? Superheroes never sleep!* And now for a mere handful of US dollars, they are willing...

The Fusion Wallet

$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Meteorite & Dinosaur Bone Rings

$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...

MiracleFold Laundry Folder

$24.99 from Amazon »

No matter how easy this contraption makes folding a shirt, unless the task has just been completed by a paraplegic, I think it's a bit of an overstatement to assign it "miracle" status. That word should really be reserved...

HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

Blizzident - 6-Second Toothbrush

$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

GrillTimer BBQ Timing Watch

$40 - $50 from Kickstarter »

Do you dive...your hands into rubs, sauces, slabs of ribs, sides of beef, and the hot coals of the BBQ you're going to use to cook them? Then the GrillWatch could be the perfect timer for just your type of diving. Based...

Rolo Space-Saving Travel Bag

$49.99 from Amazon »

With the exception of rich, chewy caramel you can pretty much stuff the Rolo with anything you want to take on your travels and trust that the portable wardrobe will condense the items into their most compact, most portable...

Rogue From X-Men Costume

$675 from Etsy »

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

Dakine BC Utility Vest

Sold Out from Amazon »

I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...

Mirrorman Suit

$2k from Etsy »

Mirror, mirror on my balls, who's the most desperate for attention of them all? Cosplay, Halloween, street performances, sure, they're all valid reasons to wear Etere Shop's Mirrorman Suit. But as the great Michael Jackson...

Nerds with Vaginas Underwear

$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

Flux Capacitor Watch

$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

See, sometimes you can have too much of a good thing, but other times...you should turn every possible 21st century EDC item into a flux capacitor. That's ThinkGeek's current modus operandi. Hot on the heels of their...

The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...