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Wednesday, October 1, 2014
$99.95 - $109.95 from OppoSuits »

Why settle for becoming a walking eyesore from just the waist up? Sweaters now have some competition for the World's Tackiest title, courtesy of tailored male fashion. OppoSuits are...did you figure it out?...the opposite...

Wednesday, October 1, 2014
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

These caped superhero rompers for ladies look like pajamas, comfy Halloween costumes, and instant pants snake charmers all rolled into one. Another trifecta the onesies manage to nail:...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost wetting mine just thinking of the pleasure and Instagram gems I'd take as the doors bing! open and they look up from their phones or away from the co-worker they are mere days away...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling the glove...

Thursday, September 25, 2014
$25 from DUBS »

I always wear earplugs when I go out at night. Not only do they protect what little hearing I have left, but if someone ugly comes up and tries to talk to me they also give me an easy out: I just point at my ears, conjure...

Saturday, August 30, 2014
$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them what you want to look like. You can even choose to go head-to-toe Mega Giant in kelly green without spending 4 hours a day at the gym and choking down your weight in kale and seaweed....

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like they've...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014
$825 - $3,750 from McWhinney Designs »

Jeff McWhinney designs wedding rings for men who move. Like a little more than from their desk to the john, the car to the house, and the couch to the fridge. Hikers, golfers, climbers, weight lifters, even really intense...

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

In 2011 Nike made 1,500 pairs of Marty McFly 2015 Air Mag replicas and auctioned them to benefit The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. Rumor has it the company will release another round, this one with the...

Sunday, September 28, 2014
$135 from indiegogo »

In cities with bitter winters, it seems like it's always one extreme or the other: not enough clothing and you're colder than a well digger's asshole; or too many layers and you're walking around in -2 degrees sweating like...

Thursday, July 3, 2014
$25 - $35 from Etsy »

LED pasties glow so bright you can even see them through a T-shirt! So ladies can don a pair without exposing the Breasterson twins! And...wait, that's a selling point? Wamp, wamp. These pasties suck. Unless you wear them...

Sunday, August 28, 2011
Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America this...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013
$350 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models from...

Saturday, September 20, 2014
$32.99 from Amazon »

WARNING: Keep Chub Suits away from fire. Ha! All I can think of after seeing these tub-o costumes and reading that line is the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Kids, take note: if you wear an inflatable Chub Suit this Halloween...

Tuesday, September 9, 2014
$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers came...

Saturday, July 12, 2014
$120 from Ritot »

August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off your...

Sunday, July 13, 2014
$275 - $375 from Recon 6 »

The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation spawned...

Saturday, September 13, 2014
$229 from OnePiece »

Take my breath away is right. This Top Gun jumpsuit does it in the comfort of 100% French terry cotton too. So soft, according to maker OnePiece, I won't even know it's there. And really, how long will it be there once the...

Monday, September 8, 2014
$90 - $109 from Clifton »

Not that I would ever agree to shackle myself to the soul-sucking institution of marriage, but if a lady were to ask for my hand I guess I would at least pretend to think about it if she presented my ring (made of meteorites...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$90 from Ali Express »

Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls are...

Thursday, March 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014
$69 - $385 from Jorge Pong »

HUBOPTIC creator Jorge Pong has a few ideas for your next DJing gig. Or EDM show. Or killer robot with a soft spot for a heavy bass line costume. His electroluminescent equalizer masks come in both half- and full-face styles...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood seem...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$9.71 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem tighty...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
By: Quirky

Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$38.50 - $44.90 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
$760 from Etsy »

JP Rishea of Bionic Concepts has created a bit of a name for himself in the cyber/steampunk gadgetry world. From his exo-gauntlet to his gas-powered LED wings, Rishea's designs always emerge as strangely tasty meals for the...

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$77 - $85 from Kickstarter »

The Tatooine Sand Watch isn't just a wristwatch made with actual sand (a feat in and of itself), it's a wristwatch made with actual Tatooine sand. Collected directly from the desert planet's own grounds. Also known as the...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

Thursday, December 20, 2012
Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce tritium...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for $3.21...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

Friday, September 12, 2014
$78.59 from Amazon »

Here's a swell gift for the person you hate most in life. The Tikker watch is set to countdown to its wearer's death. Oh sure, its creators try to spin it as a timepiece of happiness. The box even reads, "Tikker: The Happiness...

Monday, January 14, 2013

The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing up...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all time...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and shoulders...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

Sunday, June 29, 2014
$188 from Momentum Labs »

Smartphones are getting bigger...and they're getting smaller. Not that the Moment smartwatch is a fully functional phone per se, but with its wraparound 360-degree touch surface design and full QWERTY keyboard, wearers will...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013
$100 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads of...

Friday, April 11, 2014
$179 - $229 from Film Jackets »

While the Captain America Winter Soldier leather jacket doesn't exactly have the same presence as the Captain America motorcycle suit, in a way it's a much more practical investment because A) it's way cheaper, and B) you...

Monday, November 25, 2013
$387 - $1,749 from Etsy »

If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves the...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$82 - $99 from The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$29 - $69 from Kickstarter »

This one's for the ladies. I think. It's hard to keep track of who likes what anymore....

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$23 - $55 from Fidget »

Maybe you fidget because you're anxious. Because you're bored. Because you have ADHD. Because you're 5 minutes away from walking into the biggest interview of your life. Because you just drank 11 cups of coffee. Now fidgeters...

Monday, August 11, 2014
$99 - $199 from Scribble »

Scribble INK and Scribble STYLUS say they can scan, record, and then replicate on paper or digital screen any color on earth. Any color. On earth. Just by holding one of the pens up to the color--whether it be on a shirt...

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$5.39 - $28.99 from Otakumode »

They're sushi socks going on anyway. Probably more like kusaya socks coming off. Mmmm, take a whiff of that, Cornelius. All the wasabi and pickled ginger in the world isn't going to cover up the scent of me and my fuchsia...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from my...

Friday, August 8, 2014
$315 from Etsy »

Steampunk Design is not F'ing around with these watch cuffs. Custom-designed, custom-built, and hand-assembled, the flip-top timepieces are a sight to behold even if you're not a steampunk groupie. It's kind of like how I'm...

Sunday, March 9, 2014
$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields, all...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
$65 from Etsy »

A xenomorph is a pretty good choice for a knuckle duster topper I think. According to Wikipedia, these types of Aliens, unlike many others pitted against humans in the sci-fi genre, "do not have a technological civilization...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$18 - $52 from Design By Humans »

While it is abundantly clear that this image of naked Princess Leia draped in the hide of Chewbacca is just an illustration, looking at it still stirs up the strangest mix of revulsion and horniness within me. Chewbacca, grotesquely...

Sunday, August 17, 2014
$88 - $99 from Tricera Hi-Tops »

Archaix Laboratories makes a big claim. According to the Brooklyn-based company, they have "finally found a solution to the problem that has plagued modern society: the lack of wearable dinosaurs." And appropriately, their...

Wednesday, May 21, 2014
$499 - $1,199 from Kairos »

Kairos is accepting preorders for the world's first and only (let's see for how long) mechanical-smartwatch hybrid. The series' 2 designs and 4 price points aren't cheap, but at rates of 50% to 60% off expected eventual retail...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and in...

Thursday, July 17, 2014
$150 from Etsy »

Well this is a nice outfit. Even if it didn't reference the delightful Lady Deadpool, I think I would like to see my favorite barista wear it to make my morning masterpiece quadruple grande mocha with extra whipped cream and...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$9.79 - $16.01 from Amazon »

Duke Cannon would like you to know two things about his Big Ass Bricks of Soap. One, they are 3 times bigger than "feminine soaps." In other words, if you're not using a Big Ass Brick of "Smells Like Accomplishment" or "Smells...

Saturday, August 2, 2014
By: Behance

Just when I thought multi-tools had begun their demise from popular interest (along with mustaches, bacon, and zombies), Kiwi Anthony Cole comes up with the Business Knife. I wonder if constantly getting compared to and confused...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
By: Behance

Japanese robotics company Cyberdyne began their Hybrid Assistive Limb, or HAL trials in 2012. A powered exoskeleton endeavoring to turn humans into cyborg-type robots, HAL has been tested largely in medical facilities thus...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing to recruit...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
$45 from Amazon »

The Hands Free Carry-All. It's like Chewbacca's bandolier meets Alan's satchel...but neither as sweet as the former nor as wholly emasculating as the latter. Runnur's shoulder-slung essentials tote somehow neutralizes the...

Friday, July 18, 2014
$33.97 - $35.99 from Amazon »

Is it acceptable for a straight male to wear a cross-body pack? Not on his chest like he's Alan-satcheling it for the day or Mr. Mom schlepping around his kid, but across his back? Because I have a lot of weed and Pringles...

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Great. Now kids are going to start breaking one another's arms just so they can get a sick 3D-printed cast with attached bone stimulator to set and heal it. I mean, that's what I'd do if I were a kid. OK, maybe with a few...