Style

The Dick Belt

$18.99 from Etsy »

The Dick Belt is funny and all, but I'm not sure how many places I'd feel comfortable wearing it. Not because the belt itself looks stifling or like a gut digger, but because, I mean, do I really want to add "cock unfurling"...

Dirty Pop Adult Pop Up Greeting Cards (NSFW)

$12.99 from Dirty Pop »

Hey, look at that. Dick and Titsy are about to pop up out of their...greeting cards? In what is surely the best use of the term since the days of *NSYNC, Dirty Pop has beat off and busted out a set of penis and boobies...

Blocc Reusable Face Shield

$24 from Blocc »

The Blocc face shield is here to face off with your wandering hands and Shut. Them Down. No matter how charming, how persuasive, how pushy they get, Blocc will turn into your personal bouncer, a polycarbonate wall of...

3M Vetbond Tissue Adhesive

$20.99 from Amazon »

If it's good enough for horses and golden retrievers, it's good enough for me! Just kidding. Despite its name, 3M Vetbond Tissue Adhesive is a first aid option intended for humans who have cut themselves to "minor wound"...

Quikflip 2-in-1 Reversible Backpack Hoodie

$54.95 from Amazon »

The Quikflip reversible backpack hoodie evolution began, according to creator Rener Gracie, because "As a third generation jiu-jitsu master and a lifelong athlete, I became increasingly frustrated with the lack of ways...

Screenshot Men's Hip Hop Track Pants

$22.99 - $26.99 from Amazon »

I don't like every pattern and color combo of Screenshot's Men's Hip Hop Track Pants, but I do like some of them, and I especially like the idea of a bunch of dudes wearing all 30-odd styles of them in a room together...

D*ckhead Shirt

$19.99 - $21.99 from Amazon »

Is there any way to sneak a D*ckhead Shirt onto someone's body without them noticing? Yeah, but what if they're not a deep sleeper or blacked out drunk? What if they're, say, a wide-awake, and surprisingly spry, 68-year-old...

Crash Baggage Icon Busted-Up Suitcase

$340 - $420 from Amazon »

Outsmart careless baggage handlers, lost luggage offices, and coronaviruses with the Crash Baggage Icon, a wheeled hard suitcase for travelers that comes pre-busted-up! Never worry about dings and dents again because...

Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels

$249.99 from Fun.com »

You'll certainly get a Care Bears Stare or two wearing these Care Bears Grin & Share It High Heels from flamboyant footwear brand Irregular Choice...

Shark Face Mask

$13.99 from Etsy »

As stoked as I was for Shark Week to come early this year, now that April is over I have a Jaws-bite-sized hole in my heart that there won't be a Shark Week in July. But as I'm sure Etsy shop Printed Faces would say...

KuaiLu Yoga Foam Flip Flops

$22.99 from Amazon »

Is there anything not to like about KuaiLu Flip Flops? Made with yoga foam soles, like my FOAT Sanuk flip flops, they've got to be an equal treat for yo' feet. And I must admit, KuaiLu's take on the yoga-sandal combo...

Friendship Test Pin Set

$10.99 from Amazon »

Why do I have to take a friendship test? Cornelius is my bro, he knows I'd do anything for him. Come over and jump his car at 6 a.m. Wingman him at an interpretive dance performance and reception the barista he's horndoggin'...

Bigfoot Hoodies & Shirts

$31.99 - $59.99 from AlohaZing »

No Bigfoot were harmed...or spotted...in the making of this line of all-over printed Bigfoot hoodies and shirts. The 3D appearance of the hairy, nippley fashion is also an optical illusion - Aloha Zing says the sustainable...

Face Mask with Transparent Mouth Panel

$7 - $13 from Etsy »

While I smell what the transparent mouth panel face mask is cookin' - but thankfully cannot smell what's behind it; barf! do face masks reek of bad breath - I do wonder if wearing one will only make a hot and stifling...

Burton Mine77 Weatherley Board Shorts

$69.77 from Burton »

Burton's essence might be frigid temps, high elevations, and snowboards, but that doesn't mean the outdoor brand doesn't like them a hot summer day at sea level, and splashing around in the perfect board shorts every...

Gamer Goo Antiperspirant - Dry Grip for Sweaty Hands

$14.95 from Amazon »

Gamer Goo Antiperspirant sounds like the dry grip for sweaty hands some athletes use to help them avoid butter fingering a ball. Except gamers don't really sweat due to a high level of exertion so much as because their...

Lovepop The Beatles Pop-Up Cards

$15 - $18 from Amazon »

Lovepop makes greeting cards they think your recipients will love to see pop up when they open them. With Father's Day getting ready to pop up itself, you can show you love Pop by including one of Lovepop's The Beatles...

The Not Hot Blanket

If the eyes are a window to the soul, then the Not Hot Blanket is a window...for that one damn leg that needs some fresh air. Just a little pop-out from under the covers so you don't wake up from a sweet dream about Charlize...

World's Thinnest Mechanical Watch

$412k from Piaget »

Swiss luxury watch brand Piaget knew exactly what it would take to back up the claim that with their Altiplano Ultimate Concept they'd created the world's thinnest mechanical watch: they put their money where their mouth...

Made in Vachina Baby Romper

$10.99 from Amazon »

Most parents will be happy with a baby made in Vachina. Because, let's face it, most parents won't think too much about where their kid came from, they'll just be happy to have one that looks slick and is functional...

DEVO Energy Dome Face Shield

I was wondering how long it would take someone to whip Devo into the safety dance* that is living through a pandemic. And turns out that "someone" responsible for the Devo Energy Dome PPE Kit you see here is Devo themselves...

Money Soap - Real Cash in Bars of Soap

$8 - $63 from Etsy »

Money Soap! What a genius way to give your favorite graduate or birthday kid the cash they crave, without neglecting your duty as a parent / mentor / naggy Aunt Jan to remind them to wash their hands...

BioVYZR 1.0

While definitely funk and futuristic in its appearance, the BioVYZR 1.0 - which, by the way, isn't even from the land of funk that is Japan, it's from Canada! - is nowhere near the craziest face mask or headwear EDC I've...

Reef Men's Mulligan II Flip Flops

$39.60 - $45 from Amazon »

One question: what the fairway is up with that bulging golf ball embedded in the Mulligan II Flip Flops' footbed? Reef's only reference to it is to say their golf fan's footwear has a "molded golf ball logo." Yeah, more...