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Morphsuits Infrared Camera Halloween Costume

$22.95 - $54.99 from Amazon »

All the colors of the rainbow, plus an optional wiener, unite in the Morphsuits Infrared Camera Halloween Costume. Morphsuits is a brand of the spandex full-body (and head!) skinsuits that have become popular in the costume...

SafeTee - T-Shirt with Built-In Face Mask

$25 - $35 from SafeTee »

The SafeTee is a T-Shirt with a built-in face mask that uses the comfort of a 100-year mainstay to help escort men, women, and especially kiddos heading to school into our New Normal...

Baby Yoda Infant Costume

$25.17 from Amazon »

A baby doesn't typically melt my heart. Baby Yoda does it every single damn time I see him. And a baby dressed in a Baby Yoda infant costume? Well...I don't know that it makes me want to get a baby of my own, but if someone...

Modernist x Gravity Weighted Robe

$130 from Gravity »

The outlook for my WFH winter just got a whole lot heavier. This Weighted Robe, a collaboration between Modernist and Gravity, brings the anxiety-easing, stress-relieving, deep touch pressure stimulation of the weighted...

Penis Print Face Mask

$7.50 from Amazon »

On the one hand the Penis Print Face Mask brings its wearers dangerously close to eating a dick. But in a wonderful twist of irony, the Penis Print Face Mask will also protect them from having to do it!...

Shower Toga - Shower & Change Privately in Public

$46.95 from Amazon »

While I've never tried the Shower Toga myself, it certainly looks like a more compact, comfortable, and overall practical way to shower and change privately in public than a pair of suspenders strapped to a whiskey barrel...

Grid Antimicrobial Copper Wallet

$85 from GRID »

The Grid Antimicrobial Copper Wallet would like to take you off the Grid. And by "you" I mean any bacteria and viruses that dare try to infiltrate its armor - the Grid Copper starts killing them upon contact...

iSphere Pandemic-Ready Head Dome

The iSphere head dome, in addition to providing full upper orifice coverage in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic, finally gives us an opening to take astronaut cosplay and little green men LARPing to the streets...

Prinker Temporary Tattoo Printer

$279 - $445 from Amazon »

It only took 10 years, but the Prinker temporary tattoo printer is finally here to give a nod to MoodINQ, one of ThinkGeek's most clever and classic April Fool's jokes...

Bunny Stache

$7.99 from Amazon »

While Halloween might be the most COVID-friendly holiday we've got, I'm still envisioning the Bunny Stache make heavy appearances this year during October 31 Zoom meetings and online classroom costume parties. Throw in...

PUMA Calibrate Runner Sneakers with XETIC Technology

$140 from PUMA »

PUMA says their new street-ready Calibrate Runner Sneakers are "a scientific advancement by human and machine." So, sorry namesake cougars, you're getting replaced by robots too...

Leather Octopus Backpacks

$220 from Etsy »

Coming soon, hockey fans, to the Seattle Kraken's merch line... These handmade octopus backpacks from Krukru Studio are all molded and sewn from pure leather into their cephalopod shapes. The shop notes, "It wasn't easy...

Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes

$26.99 - $33.99 from Amazon »

If, when a pair of socks slipped inside a pair of sneakers, they made a baby, that baby could definitely pop out looking like Slow Man's Slip-On Sock Shoes. And while I'm not so sure about the laceless Sock Shoes' zdesire...

Pizza Pocket Hoodie

$44.95 from Amazon »

The Pizza Pocket Hoodie is a sweatshirt with a piece o' pie chest pouch designed to hold actual slices of pizza. In other words, whooo needs a gift for a stoner?...

RethinkTANK City Manhole Cover Coasters & Trivets

$22 - $32 from RethinkTANK »

Despite covering things that aren't so pretty, a city's manhole covers are often imprinted with cool, intricate, and sometimes downright stunning designs. RethinkTANK's Under Cover Series showcases these doors to the...

The PLUCK Nose Hair & Ear Hair Remover

$21.95 from Amazon »

This is what PLUCK has to say about PLUCK: "PLUCK is a new kind of nose and ear hair remover. It is the best of both worlds." The best of both worlds, huh? Any chance those worlds are the Acathla and Wolfram & Hart hell...

Arkam Ionic Beard Straightener Brush

$32.99 from Amazon »

You've got the beard clippers, the beard shaper, the beard comb, the beard balm, and the beard ornaments, but are they still not not enough to tame the beard beast? I've got one more beard wrangler for you to try: the...

Seventy2 Pro Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Backpack

The Seventy2 Pro Harley-Davidson motorcycle backpack brings just a shell of Uncharted Supply Co.'s loaded-up (and strapped-on) survival system to bike fans. The bag is based on their new Seventy2 Pro carrier, minus the...

NanoBlockTime Traveler Watch

$89 - $105 from NanoBlockTime »

Don't be a blockhead who's always late. Be a blockwrist whose NanoBlockTime Traveler Watch keeps you punctual across two time zones, plus makes up for its temporal leash with LEGO-style building NanoBlocks you have limitless...

Walk Of Mind Custom-Molded Shoes

Designer Hadar Slassi's Walk Of Mind shoes scored a 2019-2020 A' Design Gold Award in the Footwear category for their custom-molded hybrid design concept. Slassi uses 5 layers to build the shoes, calling each a "stratum"...

Lucyd Loud Audio Sunglasses

$59.99 - $99.99 from Lucyd »

Just as Bluetooth connectivity has brought us hands-free talking, it, along with gadgety eyewear like the Lucyd Loud Audio Sunglasses and Bose Frames, has kinda brought us ear-free listening. Lucyd Loud is fitted with...

The Dick Belt

$18.99 from Etsy »

The Dick Belt is funny and all, but I'm not sure how many places I'd feel comfortable wearing it. Not because the belt itself looks stifling or like a gut digger, but because, I mean, do I really want to add "cock unfurling"...

Dirty Pop Adult Pop Up Greeting Cards (NSFW)

$12.99 from Dirty Pop »

Hey, look at that. Dick and Titsy are about to pop up out of their...greeting cards? In what is surely the best use of the term since the days of *NSYNC, Dirty Pop has beat off and busted out a set of penis and boobies...

Blocc Reusable Face Shield

$24 from Blocc »

The Blocc face shield is here to face off with your wandering hands and Shut. Them Down. No matter how charming, how persuasive, how pushy they get, Blocc will turn into your personal bouncer, a polycarbonate wall of...