Booze

James T. Kirk Bourbon

A few shots of James T. Kirk Bourbon will allow men to boldly go where no man has gone before: to Tom Brady's doorstep with a trench coat, boombox, and all the right words to convince Gisele she should leave him for you...

Traeger Smoked Simple Syrup Cocktail Mixer

$16.95 from Amazon »

A cocktail that tastes like a campfire? Nah, Traeger doesn't go that far with their Smoked Simple Syrup. The mixer is infused with woody flavors more commonly found in your food and drinks - clove and vanilla. And rather...

Mucha Liga Tequila

Mucha Liga has made a tag team trio of lucha libre-themed tequilas, and in so doing has also made a fantasy many of us never even knew we had come true. Which mask will you wear ('til you puke 'n' pass out) during your...

Shower Beer

Shower Beer sounds like a bottle of ale-scented novelty soap. Which would be cool. But what Shower Beer really is is even better: a 6-ounce bottle of actual pale ale conceived and packaged to be downed in 3 perfect gulps...

Spiked Sparkling Water

$9.99 - $15.99 from Truly Spiked & Sparkling »

Think less Bartles & Jaymes* and more Talking Rain. Truly Spiked & Sparkling isn't a sugary wine cooler or Mike's-style malt beverage, but a bottle of simple sparkling water with a natural twist. And a slightly sweet...

Peanut Butter & Jam Old Fashioned

$56.59 from Firebox.com »

PB&J has grown up. Now it's the perfect companion for the dude who just wants to relax with a sophisticated adult beverage...but doesn't want to stray too far from his favorite squishy, sticky, nummy childhood sammich...

Outer Space Vodka

$5.99 - $29.99 from Outer Space Vodka »

What's scarier than this freak parade of masks on Halloween night? The head-splitting, toilet-hugging hangover we're all going to have Sunday morning. Especially with 1) Daylight Saving Time ending at 2 a.m., giving everyone...

Vodquila

Vodquila. A mix of vodka, tequila, and a first class ticket to a hangover-free Sunday morning. I know they say two wrongs don't make a right and all that crapola, but I don't think that's true for alcohol. Like, I'm pretty...

Hush Moonshine

Discontinued

According to Hush, "The moonshine business was built on confidence, loyalty and the ability to keep secrets." That's a nice way to put it. Nicer than, "The moonshine business originated as an illegal and criminal activity...

Abashiri Blue Beer

$8.19 - $21.19 from Firebox.com »

One guess as to where Abashiri Blue Beer comes from. Hint: not Smurf Village, and not outer space. Which leaves only one other logical choice, right? Yep: Japan...

One Night Stand Choco-Tequila Potion

So many choice words surround this bottle of saucy booze. Its name, One Night Stand Potion. Its creator, Dude, Sweet Chocolate. Its ingredients, 100 anos tequila, agave, mixed origin South American chocolate, and Valrohna...

Underwood Wine in a Can

Real men shotgun Pinor Noir. Or maybe they'll start now anyway, since Union Wine Co. has transferred some of their Underwood Pinot Noir and Pinot Gris from pinky in the air, stick up yer ass bottles to backyard BBQ, salt...

F**king Hell Beer

$25.59 - $42.59 from Firebox.com »

Any a-hole can name his beer F**king Hell and profit from the scandalous use of profanity, right? But how many of those a-holes can also stake legitimate and logical claims on the words' application?...

Toniiq Hangover Treatment

$28 from Toniiq »

This Memorial Day weekend, I will metabolize my alcohol without damaging my liver! I will take Toniiq Lingzhi capsules the morning after my nights of heavy drinking and address the underlying metabolic process that causes...

Sriracha Vodka

Hello there, ma'am. Fine evening we're having, wouldn't you say? What's that in my hand you ask? Here, have a closer look...

Gin & Whisky Advent Calendars

$161.09 - $241.59 from Firebox.com »

Do you see what it says on one of the drams in the Gin Advent Calendar?! Professor Cornelius! Professor Cornelius Impleforth! I can't stop laughing! Partly due to the thought of my friend Cornelius being a professor...

Ficks Cocktail Fortifier

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though there are many things I can do to prevent a hangover...yeah, Mama, not over-consuming alcohol is indeed one of them...I find drinking glass after glass of water, or eating Tums at 1-hour intervals, or restricting...

Snake Venom - World's (New) Strongest Beer

At this time last year, the World's Strongest Beer was Armageddon, a 330 mL bottle of malt, hops, a little sweetness, and an awesome 65% ABV crafted by Scottish brewery Brewmeister. This year, the World's New Strongest...

9mm Vodka

Who wants to be on the receiving end of a shot from a 9mm submachine gun? What if the shot came in a glass and made you feel weak-in-the-knees gooooood instead of weak-in-the-knees punctured in a vital organ? 9mm Vodka...

Ivanabitch Tobacco Vodka

Now that flavored vodkas have started to peak in trendiness--I saw Cilantro over the weekend--and most states are prohibiting smoking inside public places, it's only natural that some enterprising company would bring...

Star Trek Wine

Discontinued

Fancy Patrick Stewart is going to love sipping these brand new Star Trek wines from his Riedel stemware with a wedge of Brie and some dried figs, but I bet Shatner will just chug 'em straight out of the bottle alongside...

Mama Walker's Breakfast Liqueurs

Mama said WHAT? Mama said 2 parts Maple Bacon to 1 part Jameson for a breakfast of champions. Mama Walker's Breakfast Liqueurs cater to legit drinkers, legit breakfast lovers, and old people with no teeth who must follow...

Lip Chaser Liquor Buddy

Discontinued

Don't be too disappointed that Lip Chaser shot follow-ups contain no alcohol. Your shot will still have plenty of it, and Lip Chasers replace the booze with something much, much better: making out. An edible coating applied...

Ruckus Hoptimus Prime Beer

$6.49 - $87.99 from Half Time »

Ruckus Brewing's Hoptimus Prime enjoys a wicked twist of irony: instead of transforming those who drink it into sage and powerful leaders of an elite race of impenetrable robots, at 9.0% ABV the double IPA reduces them...