Gear

Bond Touch Bracelets for Long-Distance Lovers

$98 from Amazon »

Bond Touch Bracelets are technically a pair of vibrators you and your lady or dude wear on your wrist, but the spin Bond Touch is giving their deconstructed sex toys is "bracelets that bring long-distance lovers closer...

3D Printed Dickasaurus (NSFW)

$10 - $16 from Etsy »

Sex toy, trophy for a dude who's a real T-Rex in the bedroom, (literal) gag gift, the 3D Printed Dickasaurus will serve you well as any of these. But me, I'm bought a 3D Printed Dickasaurus to leave anonymously for my...

OrCam MyEye 2 for the Blind & Visually Impaired

$3,850 from Amazon »

OrCam's MyEye 2 is a wearable for the blind and visually impaired. Comprised of a lightweight smart camera that attaches to glasses frames, and embedded AI technology, MyEye can read printed and digital text aloud from...

Fingerbot - Retrofit Voice or App Remote Control

$35 from indiegogo »

Fingerbot is like that annoying kid (or Sharon) who keeps tapping you on the shoulder when they want something, except here, the tap recipient isn't you, it's one of your devices. Any number of them, actually, from a...

Scanmarker Air Digital Highlighter & Reader

$119 from Amazon »

The Scanmarker Air is a handheld - well, really 3-fingered-held - wireless scanner used just like you would a highlighter to transfer text to your computer or smartphone as you slide the pen across a hard copy. The OCR...

What Now Bitch? T-Rex Coffee Mug

$15.95 from Amazon »

The expression of pure joy on the What Now Bitch? T-Rex's face probably brings me more joy than the mug's sentiment itself...

CRKT CEO Folding Knife

$31.64 from Amazon »

CRKT says their CEO folding knife "pairs best with an extra dark roast and a long to-do list." Ugh. Now you know I like me some good cheese when it comes to Dad jokes and wordplay. Usually, the stinkier the better, as...

Rotary Cellphone

Next time your kid - or anyone you know under the age of 30 - wishes for a new phone, whip them up a Rotary Cellphone, and be like, "Wish granted!" Then sit back with some Boom Chicka Pop and watch them try to figure...

Hapbee - On-Command Feelings Wearable

$349 - $379 from Hapbee »

On-command feelings. Hapbee is a wearable head or neck band that says it will let you control whether you feel calm, alert, focused, relaxed, or sleepy. Sounds great, huh? And would that it were true. Or rather, would...

Baketan Reiseki Ghost Detector

$70.99 from Amazon »

I ain't 'fraid of no...aaahhh! My Baketan Reiseki Japanese ghost detector just lit up all red! That means evil spirit. That means I need my proton pack and my ghost trap, but all I've got on hand is my ghost stone and...

CrazyCap UV Water Bottle Purifier

$62.99 - $69.99 from Amazon »

Doesn't sound so crazy to me to want clean drinking water. But maybe the CrazyCap, a UV water purifier that screws right on top of your water bottle, takes its name from the anticipated public response to hearing this...

Tenuto Wearable Vibrator for Men (NSFW)

$149.99 from Mystery Vibe »

Mystery Vibes' Tenuto is the sexy toy company's first wearable vibrator for men, and the next in what appears to be a growing market. Though nowhere near as prevalent as vibrators for ladies, male vibrators just keep...

Atmos Air-Purifying Face Mask

$350 from Ao Air »

Ao Air hopes their forthcoming Atmos face mask will be - oh yeah - a breath of fresh air amidst a market of otherwise constricting, uncomfortable, and butt ugly wearable air purifiers. In addition to "a more human experience"...

Ring Pop Shot Glass Set

$12.99 from Amazon »

Rings of Sapphire Gin, Ruby Red Grapefruit Vodka, and Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila. They may not signify a marriage proposal, but a proposal to get engaged with shots downed from these Ring Pop Shot Glasses isn't a bad Valentine's...

Envelope Phone Cases - Simplify Your Smartphone

Created as concepts for the Google Digital Wellbeing Experiments platform, Envelope cases are simple paper slip-ons for smartphones that transform them into simpler devices. The Envelope above regresses a Google Pixel...

Jar of F*cks Gift Jar

$24.99 from Etsy »

I don't give a f*ck about you...I give a whole jar of f*cks about you! Ha! What an unexpected linguistic turnaround! Not to mention the perfect gift for the girlfriend or wife who loves wordplay. And f*cks...

Spyderco BaliYo Hand-Eye Coordination Pen

$12.12 - $12.78 from Amazon »

Spyderco's BaliYo is a ballpoint pen with a twist. And a flip. A spin. A full-on aerial show to put on once you've developed your hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills, and learned to master this dual-use writing...

Myers Stick 8" Kubotan

$7.99 from Amazon »

The Myers Stick is an 8" kubotan for self defense and tactical use. And just in case your intent isn't clear to an attacker, or the beer you're about to shotgun, the kubotan has a wicked skull-on-snake design that will...

Liquid Encased Office Chair Mat

$159.99 from Amazon »

Oooh, splotchy blue liquid encased in an office chair mat. Looks funky, and pretty much sums up how I feel when I'm at the office. Well, at least the blue part...

Artistic Slimez Scented Slime

$9 - $10.50 from Amazon »

Slime in patio fungus, rotting produce, and nose forms: OMG gross. Slime in whimsical colors, made from hygienic ingredients boxed up for kiddos to play with: fun; funky; and tactilely stimulating. Artistic Slimez crafted...

X-Men Wolverine Corn Cob Holders

$9.99 from GameStop »

Forget enemies and evil villains, what you really need some indestructible adamantium dagger claws to put in check is your corn on the cob. These new Wolverine corn cob holders - delightfully named Corn on the Claws -...

Sketchcase - Whiteboard Skin for Laptops

$20.99 - $24.99 from Amazon »

Cat stickers and sloth skins for your laptop are great and all, but only with a Sketchcase whiteboard skin do you become the true master of your artistic expression domain. The laptop whiteboard adhesive functions just...

Zipogage - Zipper Pull Digital Thermometer

$17.99 from Amazon »

Is it hot in here or is it just me? Let me check my Zipogage zipper pull digital thermometer. Oh, will you look at that, 68 degrees. Once again, it's me...

Hidden Camera Water Bottle

$29.40 - $30.63 from Amazon »

Not a whole lot of good can come of any everyday item fitted with a hidden camera, but a hidden camera in a water bottle? Gee, I wonder where people are going to set that up. Probably not in the side pocket of their backpack...