Gear

The Coolest Cooler

$185 from Coolest Cooler »

Is it cool enough to be called the Coolest? You decide. After months of anticipation (well, my 6-packs, margarita mix, and I were waiting with bated breath) the Coolest Cooler has finally launched its Kickstarter campaign....

SensorWake Smell-Based Alarm Clock

$87 from SensorWake »

Smells are powerful things. Particularly those of pubescent feet and dirty farts. But freshly baked croissants, brewing coffee, and cut grass can leave a decent impact too. Decent and, according to SensorWake, waaaaay...

Light - The Phone Only Phone

$100 from The light phone »

Light Phone is credit card-sized cell phone that pairs with your existing phone. It is designed to be used as little as possible, and comes with no bells or whistles. Both figuratively and literally. Without even a display...

Selfie Vibrator with HD Camera (NSFW)

$180 from Lovehoney »

It doesn't have to be a holiday or special occasion to surprise your lady with a thoughtful gift. The Svakom Gaga Sex Selfie Stick even has a foolproof, built-in mechanism for gauging how much she likes it. Come on, sugar...

Grizzly 8.5" Magfed Shotgun

$411 from Canada Ammo »

No one has written a Wikipedia article on Dominion Arms' Grizzly 8.5 magfed shotgun yet, and no one has given me a Dominion Arms Grizzly 8.5 mag fed shotgun yet, so all I can really say about it is that from the very...

Wasp Gas Injection Knife

$499.95 from Wasp »

And a watermelon takes it in the gut again. Like so many other weapons demos we've seen around here (Gotcha Cap, Throwing Card Knives), the effects of the Wasp air injection knife have been exacted upon a watermelon....

Programmable Tattoo System

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

NOTE: To everyone who keeps emailing us to reveal "the truth" about this product, please conserve your time and effort; trust us, we are well aware of the month and day on which ThinkGeek released their groundbreaking...

Indiana Jones Cat Bridge

$150 - $240 from Catastrophic Creations »

This listing is for an Indiana Jones Cat Bridge, but it appears that in order to make it a viable lounging place for your own cat, you will also have to construct an entire Temple of the Chachapoyan Warriors to assist...

Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

$39.45 from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

LIX 3D Printing Pen

$70 - $135 from LIX »

Paperless pens and drawing in 3D. True, we've seen it in the 3Doodler, but LIX is the first 3D printing pen to condense this technology into a writing instrument of normal proportions. You know, rather than one that looks...

Double Barrel Pistol

$4,400 - $4,950 from Arsenal Firearms »

The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the...

Reverse Peephole Viewer

$43.86 from Amazon »

Now here's something that should be illegal, but is instead available with free shipping on Amazon. The reverse peephole viewer, used appropriately by law enforcement personnel and inappropriately by 99% of all others...

Mutator Global iPhone Silencer

$16 - $28 from Mutator »

People seem to love their iPhones. Almost as much as they seem to love to bitch about them. Damn autocorrect, good-for-nothing maps, battery life of a gallon of mocha almond fudge in the hands of pregnant woman, innate...

Cicret Human Touchscreen Bracelet

By: Cicret »

My new tablet? My bulging, Tom-Cruise-in-The-Last-Samurai forearm. Hey, if they can make a laser-powered virtual keyboard that tracks fingers for real-time typing (and sound effects!) why can't they make a bracelet that...

nexpaq Modular Smartphone Case

$89 - $109 from nexpaq »

Since we're still waiting for a modular cell phone to emerge from the Sea of Google, nexpaq proposes that in the interim we...wait...but hopefully for less time...for their forthcoming modular cell phone case. Customizable...

Lily Autonomous Drone Camera

$499 from Lily »

My friend Cornelius and I threw a Lily in the air once in 6th grade. She dropped like a sack of twice-baked bacon and brown butter potatoes. (Don't worry, there was a lake there to catch her.) But throw this Lily in the...

The Sound Torch Flaming Bluetooth Speaker

$158 - $165 from Kickstarter »

We've seen speakers that make light dance and speakers that make water dance, so it's only natural that someone would come up with one that, er, lights a fire under the feet of fire. The Sound Torch is a Bluetooth speaker...

Batmobile iPhone 6 Case

By: My ACG »

A few bucks shy of being able to afford the jet turbine powered Batmobile? How about buckling your phone up in one instead? Specifically, this most excellent and radical and schwing!-worthy replica Batmobile case for...

Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones

$48.39 from Firebox.com »

If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...

Portable Survival Rifle

$290 - $350 from Henry Repeating Arms »

"Don't leave civilization without one." It's the motto of the US Survival AR-7, a semi-automatic portable rifle that weighs a mere 3-1/2 pounds and measures in at 16-1/2" long when broken down and stowed in its waterproof...

Black Useless Box Kit

$44.99 from Amazon »

This black box is nearly impossible to put together. Ninety-nine percent of those who try will fail. But for the always-elite 1%, once your corners are aligned and screws affixed, the world will be your oyster. Flip the...

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

The Best Prank Birthday Card Ever

$15 from Kickstarter »

Now my favorite birthday gifts come in the form of a Peeping Creeper at the bedroom window or talking an amateur heavyweight UFC fighter into accusing my friend Cornelius of sleeping with his girlfriend, but if you're...

Hidetoshi Nakayama Bolt Action Pen

$420 from Monkey Edge »

I've never understood why people drop hundreds of dollars on things like blue jeans and wine when Carhartt's and 2 Buck Chuck will do just fine jobs of covering your ass and getting you drunk. But spending hundreds of...

Decimator Staff Lightsaber

Discontinued

I wish Saberforge would stop churning out new custom designs faster than I can squirrel away enough money from helping old ladies with groceries and skimming off the top of the church collection basket to buy them all....

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

$318.44 from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...

MYO Telekinetic Armband

$149 from Thalmic Labs »

Well, telekinetic is only part of the story. Is telemusculokinetic a word too? Maybe that's redundant. Remote control muscles? Yeah, let's go with RC muscles. MYO armbands transform muscles--specifically the arm, or as...

POLAR Modular Magnet Pen

$40 from Amazon »

POLAR. It's a pen. It's a stylus. It's a tool. It's a toy. And it won't even F up your phone and credit cards*! The modular writing implement, made of 12 cylindrical neodymium magnets stacked over a Pilot ink cartridge...

MIITO Heating Rod & Kettle Alternative

$101 from MIITO »

MIITO is kind of like a magic wand that commands the elements. I mean, as long as the elements you want to command are liquid, and your command to them is to boil. An eco-friendly alternative to the kettle, MIITO combines...

FOVE Eye Tracking Virtual Reality Headset

$375 - $399 from FOVE »

From viewing to controlling to FOVE. They're calling the headset with eye tracking capabilities the 3rd generation of virtual reality; the generation that will allow users not only to see and physically control their...

Hydrogen Reactor

$100 from Amazon »

While it sounds like something Batman would be called upon to save the world from, Brunton's Hydrogen Reactor is actually an innocuous, albeit robust, deliverer of power to portable devices. It's a piece of scientific...

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle - Fully Functional

$1,750 from Etsy »

You look at the replica M41A Pulse Rifle from Aliens, its fully adjustable metal stock and removable magazine, and wonder, Is it real? It looks real. It's the right shape. It's...huge...definitely the right size. It moves...

Tricked Toys Metal Phone Cases

$40 - $80 from Tricked Toys »

Tricked Toys CNC machines all of their smartphone cases from 6061 aluminum, solid copper, or solid brass. If you like their street artsy look, then grab your screwdriver: the metal cases actually bolt together around...

Orbit1 Electroplater - Coat Anything in Metal

$1,999 - $2,199 from Orbit1 »

The Midas Touch: now available for as little as $2 per gram. 3D printing is still cool and all, but in technology years it's getting to be an old man. Between hobbyists being able to print their trinkets on desktop models...

Working Pip-Boy 3000

The electronic Personal Information Processor (PIP) manufactured by RobCo Industries in Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas is now a viable acquisition to your non-gaming, non-digitized, biological life. Which is not only...

Fibonacci Clock

$135 from Kickstarter »

Philippe Chretien created his Fibonacci Clock for "nerds with style." And, more importantly, nerds with the smarts to perform complex mathematical equations in their head whenever they want to use the Fibonacci Clock...

Custom Made Lightsabers

$129.99 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he...

Attack on Titan Super Hard Blade iPhone Case

$38.30 from Strapya World »

It's always interesting when and which Japanese manga and anime cross over into mainstream Western culture. Here it's even more interesting that a piece of Japanese manga/anime has crossed over into real life. And even...

Rebel Bass Guitar

$500 from Etsy »

No longer must you search the galaxy to find this Rebel Bass, but you will have to wait at least 3 months to get it. Last Fall, after photos of his custom Star Wars guitars had gone viral online, Englishman Doni opened...

Ring - The Shortcut to Everything

$165 - $185 from Ring »

Like FIN, Ring is a wearable input device controlled by gestures and finger movement. Unlike FIN, Ring picked a name inextricably bound to JRR Tolkien and an iconic, highly complimentary line about ruling them all, so...

PC Prankster

$99.99 from Amazon »

I live for shenanigans of the PC Prankster variety. No, not because I'm devious and mean-spirited, because I have great empathy for others. I know as well as anyone how it feels to reach a level of frustration with a...

The Knockout Beer/Water/Gravity Bong

$30 from The Knockout »

I used to prefer my knockouts served as Fireball shots and right hooks, but this Knockout, a new twist on the beer bong, might leave those standards unconscious and bleeding from the ear on the floor. Designed for attachment...

Marvel Superhero Family Car Decals

$7.89 from Amazon »

Usually I hope a giant flock of pigeons craps on those cars with the stick figure family decals on them...unless the scene goes on to show T-Rex eating everyone...but I don't think I'd find these Marvel superhero versions...

Chain Chomp Cat Bed

According to Catastrophic Creations, this Chain Chomp Cat Bed "took and incredibly long amount of time to make." Good thing cats are so appreciative of their owners' gifts and love, and reciprocate in kind by never missing...

Gallium - Melts-in-Your-Hand Metal

Sold Out from Amazon »

The chemical element Gallium does not exist in pure form in nature, but since it's so magical and badass looking all solid-to-liquid-at-the-touch-of-a-human-hand and all, of course man figured out a way to extract it...

SexFit Sexual Fitness Tracker (NSFW)

Bondara, a British sex toy online store and blog, plans to begin testing of its SexFit prototype in the 4th quarter of 2014. So by 2016...or maybe even February 2015 since I'm sure they'll have thousands and thousands...

No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

Triple Barrel Shotgun

$1,629 from Chiappa Firearms »

I don't know how to shoot a gun, or really even how to hold a gun without soiling my pants, but I bet if someone put one gun in my hands and another to my head and demanded I use the former to fire at a watermelon dangling...

TV-B-Gone Kit

$22.49 from Amazon »

Let's be clear: it would be a supreme a-hole move for someone to use a homemade TV-B-Gone to shut off the women's beach volleyball game I am watching at a bar. Obnoxious and unacceptable. However...were I to use my DIY...

The World's First Smart Rifle

$22,500 - $27,500 from TrackingPoint »

Taking top honors in the category of Yo That's Crazy and Moderately Disturbing but I Guess It Was Gonna Happen Sometime: TrackingPoint's PGF. Precision. Guided. Firearm. It's fighter-jet-style, lock-and-launch technology...

Ship Your Enemies Glitter

I just read the best analogy of anything ever on ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com: "Glitter is the herpes of the craft world." Oh hell yeah it is. Glitter is hideous. Glitter spreads like wildfire. Glitter gets into crevices...

Fully Stocked Swiss Bank Safe

Here's a Swiss bank safe for you to put in your living room. Or your back yard. Your secret catacombs? Somewhere roomy, guarded, and secure, because one thing's for sure: the vault's self-contained 1,619 safe deposit...

Benthic Knife

Five seconds into a look through Triangle Krav Maga's Website and Facebook photo stream and two things become abundantly clear: these cats do not F around; and I would like an application to become one of them. After...

Trigger iPhone Case

$99 from Amazon »

This Trigger iPhone 5 case looks heavy. Like I'll either develop a disproportionately muscular right arm from lifting and holding it to my ear, or I'll finally succumb to one of those GD earpieces I hate so much* because...

Waves MFS Physio-Tactical Pocket Stick

Sold Out from Amazon »

Designer Rainer Wenning calls his Waves MFS a "physio-tactical" palm stick, which might be the best bit of pretentious, made-up terminology I've ever heard. Because what "physio-tactical" basically means is that after...

Butterfly Labs Jalapeno Bitcoin Miner

$333.15 from Amazon »

Butterfly Labs' entry level Jalapeno Bitcoin miner sells with a mining rate of 5 G/Hash per second, as well as with an upgrade that bumps its performance to 7 G/Hash per second. And while both are pretty paltry in comparison...

445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster

Here's a 445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster by Tony Starks. I don't know if that's his real name or not, but if so now we know that having just one letter more than Iron Man makes you Laser Man. The trapezoidal-rhomboidal-pieced...

Femme Fatale Ring Gun

Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to...

Marshall Bluetooth Speaker By John Varvatos

Aside from the addition of his name in 2 locations, I'm not sure what makes Marshall's Woburn Bluetooth speaker by John Varvatos better than the original Marshall Woburn Bluetooth speaker. I'm also not sure what qualifies...

The Can Stamp

$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things...

Coin Card Consolidator

$50 - $100 from Coin »

Since I'm so important I pretty much have cards coming out of my ascending colon. Granted, most of them are for the various sandwich and froyo shops around my town (with one very special exception of a $50 gift card to...

Birthday Drink Floating Candle

Sold Out from Amazon »

As a prelude to presenting your favorite birthday boy or girl with The Joker card and a prank candle that burns 25% apple pie and 75% dirty fart, bring out a nice pint of beer or glass of wine with this floating birthday...

M4 180lb Tactical Crossbow

Sold Out from Amazon »

Stealth. Stamina. Sniper sight. And that's just the M4 Tactical Crossbow itself. Like, before taking into account the litany of powerful, valiant, not-to-be-F'd-with characteristics Cornelius and I will bring to the table...

Cold Steel 7" GI Tanto Knife

$23.21 from Amazon »

I say, why have a small child when you can have a knife the size of a small child instead? Seems like at least 988 people agree with me, which is how many Amazon reviews Cold Steel's GI Tanto has so far. Average rating:...

The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...