Gear

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Mpow Bluetooth Over Ear Headphones

$79.99 from Amazon »

From what I gather, Mpow makes some pretty alright headphones at some pretty alright prices. The over ear Bluetooth model I've picked out here touts the simple feature of high quality sound....

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Electric Head Massager

$165 from Amazon »

I want to know, you want to know, so we may as well just ask: does the electric head massager give good head? And if so, how good? What kind of good? Does it just find its grip and squeeze, or is there some steady, calculated...

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Vibrating Panties (NSFW)

$29.99 from Amazon »

New life hack, ladies: vibrating panties for your long, miserable commute. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable shift. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable night of caring for your poor little monkey with...

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netool Simple Network Analyzer

$204.05 from Amazon »

netool endeavors to do the big work of bulky network analyzers in a package small enough to put in a pouch made to hold pens. For both professionals and individuals looking to troubleshoot or get diagnostics on their...

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Feisty Pets Santa Bear

$28.83 from Amazon »

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

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Raclette Personal Cheese Melter

$24.99 from Amazon »

From whence does this Raclette personal cheese melter come? For those unfamiliar, Raclette is both a big ol' hunk of Swiss cheese, and a Swiss method of melting layers of the cheese over a fire, and scraping them off...

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My MUG Indestructible Ceramic Coffee Mug

$15 - $24 from Making Modern »

Knock a My MUG off the counter and you might be cleaning up some liquid, but your solid form of matter will stay intact. Made to feel like ceramic in the hand, but behave like titanium when that hand is a wee bit clumsy...

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Smell of Data - Internet Data Leak Alert Device

The Smell of Data doesn't protect you from hackers. Just like the smell of gas doesn't protect you from inhaling or a spark from igniting it. But both smells serve as alerts that things aren't right, and that you should...

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Embrava Best Ever Water Bottle

$37.95 from Amazon »

Embrava's water bottle is hands down (and bottoms up) the best water bottle I've ever owned. I'll grant, whether you agree with me or not depends on what you're looking for in a water bottle, but if we have similar requirements...

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Dunking Buddy Mess-Free Cookie Dunker

$9.15 from Amazon »

That's Dunking Buddy, not Drunking Buddy, Cornelius. Don't worry, I'm not replacing you. In fact, you could say that I'm making our Scotch Sundays, Tequila Tuesdays, Whiskey Wednesdays even better. This cup and magnetic...

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Gentleman's Bogotas - Lapel Lockpicks

$34.95 from Rift Recon »

Bogotas fit for a gentleman. Lockpicks that pin and tuck all suave and covert beneath the lapel of my jacket. Now this is something I need...for no reason whatsoever. But I'm not here to talk about what I need. Add Gentleman's...

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ASUS RT-AC86U Ultrafast Gaming Router

$199.99 from Amazon »

I'm home alone. Eating some guac and Juanita's, playing some War Thunder. And I feel the need. The need for speed. The ASUS RT-AC86U gaming router will not make me a better fighter pilot.

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Wurf Board Standing Desk Air-Spring Anti-Fatigue Mat

$199 - $269 from Amazon »

The Wurf Board lets you ride the waves...of unending emails...and hang ten...Excel spreadsheets of Q3 product reports...right from your desk, all day long. The anti-fatigue mat for standing desks doesn't just copy the...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s....

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Cereal Killer Bowl

Sold Out from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

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CUJO Smart Internet Security Firewall

$249 from Amazon »

This CUJO won't attack you like Stephen King's rabid dog, but if the smart firewall does its job, it will point that aggression towards the malware, ransomware, viruses, and other a-hole hacker moves vying to steal and...

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Vinci Smart Headphones with AI

Sold Out from Amazon »

I like that Vinci's headphones are smart enough that I can ditch my phone and still stream music. And I like that they're voice activated for hands-free song selection. And in theory I like the Vinci's artificial intelligence...

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Jumbo Shrimp Neck Pillow

$23.99 from Amazon »

Eat shrimp: check. Sleep shrimp: check. Now. Who's gonna make a way to breathe shrimp? The Jumbo Shrimp Neck pillow, curled and cooked to orange perfection, gives shellfish lovers a welcome place to rest their weary heads...

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The Dead of Night Zombie Lamp

$135 from Amazon »

When you're spooked and unsettled in the dead of night, flick on this zombie lamp and - Waahhh! - realize that's what was spooking and unsettling you in the first place. The Dead of Night Lamp from sculptor and FX artist...

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The Right Cup - Brain-Tricking Flavored Cup

$40 from Amazon »

Brain-tricking and NKOTB-approved, The Right Cup is a scented and slightly flavored water cup designed to engage your senses in a way that will make you think you're drinking sweet and fruity water when all that's inside...

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Shark Guitar Capo

$29.99 from Amazon »

The Shark Guitar Capo takes shredding to new levels. Maybe not Jaws Ukulele levels, but the fretboard clamp will add some personality to the instrument that, perhaps, the guitar player's rendition of "Maneater" cannot....

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Handmade Creepy Beer Mugs

$55 - $150 from Etsy »

Jo Scravis makes creepy beer mugs. You can use them as coffee mugs too, but I for one wouldn't want to look Horrible Hal Zombie or Angry Fanged Critter in the eye first thing in the morning, before I've had any caffeine....

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Colibri Mechanized Kinetic Hummingbird Sculpture

Colibri the wooden hummingbird is a stunning addition to the world of kinetic sculptures. And DIY. And CNC machining. And gears. I don't really have anything more clever or insightful to say about it, because watching...

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Face Mask Drink Coasters

$8.68 from Amazon »

Paladone's Face Mask Drink Coasters are a party multi-tool. Use them old school, to hold your sweaty drink so you don't f*ck up the table. Use them new school, as a frisbee projectile to pelt your friend Cornelius, or...

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X-Bows Mechanical Ergonomic Keyboard

$119 - $128 from Kickstarter »

I use an ergonomic keyboard at work, but its QWERTY configuration looks nothing like the X-Bows'. Nothing like a message from the aliens backlit by an RGB carnival. And these aliens want to help us. Help us...type faster...

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Nuada Hand Strength Enhancing Glove

By: Nuada »

It's hard to tell if there's a working prototype of the Nuada glove out there, of if the hand strength enhancement system exists only as a concept with renderings. The video, which would be a terrific place to demonstrate...

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The Dadbag Beer Belly Fanny Pack

By: Dadbag »

The Dadbag beer belly fanny pack is right up there with the Sexy Chest Swimsuit in its ability to create a fiesta of discomfort, with a few streamers of sick fascination, before my eyes. The Baby Head Masks used to do...

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Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock

$199.95 from Amazon »

When the clock strikes the hour in the world of The Nightmare Before Christmas it's not a little bird that pops out to tweet Cuckoo! but a little Zero ghost-dog that pops out to the tune of "This Is Halloween." Like the...

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Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...

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The Loudest Portable Speaker

$875 from Amazon »

I just learned about The Loudest Portable Speaker from my newly deaf friends Maurice and Sue, who just returned from testing Soundboks' 119dB bad boy at Burning Man. Conclusion:...

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Bandit Titanium Keychain Knife

$39.95 from Quiet Carry »

This Bandit is so small your loose threads and frustration-filled packaging will never see it coming. The keychain-sized knife from Quiet Carry is just 1.8" long, with a 1.2" folding blade....

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Optimus Prime Converting Power Bank

$49.99 from Hasbro »

Straight outta HasCon: The Transformers Optimus Prime Converting Power Bank! Hasbro revealed their geek's wet dream of a charger in July, but hauled it out in person Autobot for the first time at their HasCon convention...

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Mobilize Rescue System Smart First Aid Kits

$180 - $2,250 from Mobilize Rescue Systems »

Mobilize Rescue System Smart First Aid Kits wisely address a common conundrum of "being prepared": those of us who are down to accumulate and stow away gear, provisions, and medical supplies for emergencies, but who maybe...

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Nuvo Eco Ceramic Coffee Bean Roaster

$28.65 from Amazon »

During heating you need swing the Nuvo Eco Ceramic Roaster constantly, drawing an imaginary number "8" or an elliptical orbit. And hold tight to its leather-covered handle. Like in the video above. For, like, two-and-a-half...

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Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture

$236.41 from Amazon »

The Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture is just in case you were curious what it would look like to throw a skeleton up against the wall in a hot blaze of passion and take it from behind. The arched back...

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Rocket Air Blaster

$11.16 from Amazon »

At first I was excited about the Rocket Air Blaster because I thought it was an updated version of the Stomp Rocket. Or maybe a handheld Stomp Rocket that shot its red lipstick right into my friend Cornelius' earhole...

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The Complaint Department Grenade Sign

$9.99 from Amazon »

When I saw this "Complaint Department" sign with a "Please take a number" directive pointing right at the pin of a grenade, I first assumed it was meant for the office. I know my boss would sure like to have one....

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Programmable Mouse Jiggler

$19.96 from Amazon »

It's a professional jiggler! No, not Santa Claus. No. Not a stripper. This is a Mouse Jiggler. And it's got nothing to do with bellies and boobies. Though, like the belly and boobie jigglers, the Mouse Jiggler is here...

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Punchable USB-Connected Enter Key Pillow

$14.99 from Amazon »

Need to blow off some stress? Just hit Enter. Hard. This USB-connected Enter Key Pillow redefines what it means to punch a QWERTY key. In the best, best possible way. Hook the oversized, tetromino-style pillow into a...

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Populele Smart Ukulele

$179 - $229 from Popuband »

You can uke it put your app into it. The Populele calls itself the world's first smart ukulele, and while I'm not sure anyone is going to rush to become the world's second smart ukulele, if you're the strummin' type this...

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Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

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littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit

$79 from Amazon »

Want your kids to learn a littleBits about tech as you secretly relish the interactive R2-D2 they're building? The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit hit littleBits shelves just in time for Force Friday II....

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Alcove Laptop Case & Private Work Station

By: Alcove »

When Alcove isn't protecting your laptop from bumps and scuffs as a carrying case, it unfolds to protect your privacy and channel your focus as a mobile workstation....

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Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

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Gropener One-Handed Bottle Opener

$16 from Amazon »

No, Gropener is not what it looks like Uncle Harry is doing to Cousin Ricky's new girlfriend at the family reunion. Gropener is a smoosh-together of the words "grab" and "opener," done to signify what this clever tool...

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The Skull Ultra Loud Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker

$37.94 from Amazon »

Your alarm clock with the soft hands and sweet voice telling you she made extra fluffy flapjacks for your first day of school? Ha! Mama's gone, dorm kids! This semester you wake up with THE SKULL! A "sweet" 113-decibel...

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Game of Thrones 3D Masks & Wall Mounts

$15.11 - $19.81 from Amazon »

Want to mount a White Walker trophy head to your wall? All you gotta do is kill one...and figure out how to keep it from shattering into a billion shards of ice when you do. OR! You could grab one of Wintercroft's White...