Gear

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SureFire Sidekick 300-Lumen Keychain Light

$67.49 from Amazon »

Way less annoying than Robin, way less creepy than Mini-Me, and way, way more useful than George Costanza, say hello to your SureFire Sidekick. Despite being a keychain-sized 2-1/2" long, this high-performance, click-switch...

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Dual Arc Tesla Coil Lighter

$16.99 - $21.99 from Amazon »

It's Tesla, squared. And marbleized. Like the originals, Dual Arc Tesla Coil Lighters trade in butane for USB-rechargeable electricity, and ignite cigs, candles, and kindling with the flameless and windproof technology...

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Mizu Insulated Titanium Mug

$34.20 from Amazon »

Do I want the Mizu insulated titanium camping mug over all the other insulated titanium camping mugs out there only because it's made by Ninja Prepper? Nah....

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YETI Hopper Portable Cooler

$299.98 - $399.95 from Amazon »

A YETI Hopper 30 is about the size of my girlfriend's purse, and I have plenty of experience carrying that so...uh, I mean, if she can lug a 30-liter bag all over the streets of Nashville, even once it's stuffed full...

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The Burger Lift

$10.99 from Amazon »

Even though the Burger Lift is kind of a head-scratcher--wait, why do I need a plastic rack in the shape of a burger to raise my real burger half an inch off the plate?--it still might be one of the most logical things...

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Drive Stein - The Football Drinking Game Mug

$19.99 from Amazon »

If you're not a big drinker, but want to play Drive Stein, just make sure you're a Rams fan that day, because according this football drinking game's simple rules, your downs come only with your team's first downs....

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Sammy Screamer Motion Alarm

Sold Out from Amazon »

Your personal tattletale, Sammy Screamer goes on guard against sticky fingers, nosy noses, and hands getting too close to the cookie jar (or liquor cabinet). The palm-sized alarm is motion sensitive, bleeping out loud...

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Tri-Spinner Fidget Toy

$19.99 from Amazon »

If, like Selena Gomez, you can't keep your hands to yourself, check out Yomaxer's version of metaphorical gin and juice, the Tri-Spinner Fidget Toy. Hands idle can kill time, and hands anxious may find some relief from...

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Timber Rattler Scarab Back Giant Pocket Knife

$19.69 from Amazon »

Are you happy to see me, or is that just a Timber Rattler Scarab Back in your pocket? This monster of a lockback knife has an 8" stainless steel blade that folds into a grey pakkawood scaled handle. It's my #1 choice...

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Torch Wearable Coat Heater

$89.95 from Amazon »

Torch, a universal, wearable coat heater invites you to get fired up, and take this year's winter storms by storm. Use the wraparound warmer to up your puffy coat's game, or trade the marshmallow-in-a-trash-bag look for...

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Feisty Pets

$19.99 - $29.99 from Amazon »

These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...

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Be Good / Stay Evil Decision Coin

$15 from Amazon »

Santa, I swear, it's this coin's fault I've been naughty all year. Every time I flipped it the fates told me to "Stay Evil." Yeah, I know it's almost statistically impossible to get the "Stay Evil" side up repeatedly...

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Silent Pocket Privacy Protection Cases

$11.95 - $199.95 from Amazon »

There's alone time from your girlfriend. Peace and quite from your house full of kids. Solitude from the chaos and cacophony of daily life. But with all the unseeable signals encircling, identifying, tracking, and scanning...

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Birdie GoPro Camera Launcher

$59 from Amazon »

I hope you got good aim because Birdie is about to take your selfies from point-and-shoot to toss-and-see-WTF-happens. Snap your GoPro HERO 3+, 4, or 5 inside its arcing white cage and launch the Birdie into the air to...

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Color Muse for DIY Paint Match

$49 from Amazon »

The only thing less fun than painting your living room walls purple--sorry, eggplant--is having your girlfriend decide after all the paint is applied, and dried, and you're moving your couch back in front of the TV, that...

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Justick Electro Adhesion Boards

$34.99 - $399.99 from Amazon »

Justick! I say it all the time to weak magnets and unruly Post-Its Justick, dammit! And now, lo and behold, I can have a Justick Electro Adhesion Board. A white (or black) board sized from desktop to boardroom to tri-fold...

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Executive Drop Mic

$29.99 from Amazon »

Doooshhh! The sound of a mic drop. Or rather, the sound you make with your mouth when you mime a mic drop. Or maybe, the sound a mic makes when you do an actual mic drop, followed immediately by D'oh!, the sound you make...

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Piqapoo Self-Collecting Poop Bag

$29 - $35 from Piqapoo »

On the one hand, clipping a Piqapoo self-collecting poop bag to your dog's butt exceeds injury cone and Chia Pet costume levels of shaming him. But on the other hand, you've spent the last X years following him around...

Stay Cool or Hot: The Best Vacuum Insulated Water Bottles
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Sciabola del Sommelier - Champagne Sabres

$179 from Amazon »

Great. I'm gonna have to start drinking white and pink bubble wine. Because hacking off bottle necks with a Champagne Sabre is the only way my girlfriend's ever going to agree to let me wield a sword around the house....

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Blockhead Side-Facing Apple Plug

$19.95 from Amazon »

They named it "Blockhead," which is cute & clever because this little module is a literal block that subs in for the existing pronged head of your Apple power adapter. But what the Blockhead accomplishes is definitely...

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Mistaken Lyrics Coasters

$25 - $30 from Amazon »

We've all done it. We've all badgered someone else for doing it. And really, song lyrics misheard, mistaken, and butchered are almost always more fun than what the artists are actually singing anyway....

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StopSleep Driving Alarm

$189 from Amazon »

We can't all buy self-driving car prototypes or Teslas with Autopilot to keep us from veering out of our lanes or "bumping" the median when drowsiness starts winding its way around our consciousness. And even though the...

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TOPS M4X Punisher Knife

$184.99 from Amazon »

I recommend watching the above video in its entirety. Not only because M4X Punisher demo damsel Kaila* is adorable, but also because she becomes even more adorable after she completes her successful attack on that coconut...

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ZEI Time- & Task-Tracking Dice

$99 from Timeular »

ZEI time- and task-tracking dice have rolled--Indiana Jones boulder-style--past their $80,000 Kickstarter funding goal and, at 4 days left in the campaign, have collected over $265,000 in pledges. Now what I want to know...

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Severed Zombie Hand Phone Mount

$40 from JONTHINGS »

I slay zombies. I hack off their hands as trophies. I use those trophies to instill fear in all--living, dead, or undead--who would cross me. And also to hold the Waze app on my phone at eye level when I don't know where...

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IRONATE - 3-Minute, No-Oven Pizza

$129 from Ironate »

Know when else you can eat pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time? When pizza's on an IRONATE dish of intense heat conduction that needs just 3 minutes to cook it into a disc of pure crispy-chewy-cheesy-crust...

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Skull Eyes Sunshade

$13.25 from Amazon »

There hasn't been much sun to shade my car seats from these last few weeks of fall, but that's no reason to abstain from creeping people out with a pair of glowy red skull eyes across my windshield. Skeletor's coming...

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MiniPresso Espresso Maker

$59.95 from Amazon »

It's just like squeezing out the mustard. Or the honey. Or the shampoo. Except on the other side of your MiniPresso grip strength action lies a fresh pour of pure pick-me-up espresso, rather than a fat blob of condiment...

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Beam Light Socket Smart Projector

$543.33 from Amazon »

That video of me and my girlfriend making sweet, hot...honey chipotle chicken for dinner? Beam it down, Scotty. We'll watch it later projected onto the back wall of the bedroom. And then maybe later on the living room...

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Cozmo the Real-Life Robot

$464 from Amazon »

They say Cozmo is the first "real-life robot like you've only seen in movies." One that has his own personality, which his family (i.e., your kids, i.e., you if you like geeking out on robots) helps cultivate over time...

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HYDRA SmartBottle

$59.99 from Amazon »

HYDRA has found a way to make water a whole lot more interesting, and it doesn't even involve caffeine, neon food dyes, or a 1,000,000 Scoville rating. (Though that last one might be a fun idea for a Halloween prank.)...

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Fake Tampon Flasks

$19.98 from Amazon »

Mmmm, boy. Who wants an illicit Bloody Mary? I don't care how thirsty I might be at a dry college football game, show, or church service, I don't think I could take a swig of anything out of a tampon. Even a fake tampon...

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The USB Kill 2.0 Computer Killer

$49.95 from USB Kill »

If you're using a USB Kill stick you're either pen-testing, trashing your old PC for recycling, or being very, very...very evil. Come on now, I know he cooks eggs in the staff room microwave, and eats beef & bean burritos...

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R2-D2 Coffee Press

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Get Beep-bee-bee-boop-buuuzzzzzzed with the R2-D2 coffee press. How could Star Wars geekery not lay its stamp on French-style caffeine extraction? The cylindrical shape of the classic French press is perfect. And what...

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Star Wars Misters

$24.95 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Steam up the room with the Dark Side this Halloween. This Darth Vader and Stormtrooper bear no Fun Size Twix bars or mini boxes of Milk Duds, but they do come with a special misting treat. Add water to the included mist...

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Webcaster Trigger-Fed Cobweb Gun

$54.99 from Amazon »

If your spidey sense is telling you stringing that clump of cotton into a spooky front porch crypt of cobwebs is going to take 'til next Halloween, believe it. And have a comparative look at the Webcaster trigger-fed...

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Dragon's Breath Pyro Trick Powder

$18.99 from Amazon »

Been looking for the perfect Halloween costume...for your shotgun? I don't think Dragon's Breath Powder promotes itself as the ideal filling for 12-gauge ammo, but there's clearly no stopping resourceful minds with too...

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Star Wars Force Band

$79.99 from Amazon »

As Rogue One readies to flash back in the Star Wars timeline, you've got the opportunity to flash back in the IRL timeline (but, uh, forward in the Star Wars timeline) to The Force Awakens, and Sphero's 2015 BB-8 app-enabled...

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Muzik One - The Smartphone of Headphones

$299 from Amazon »

Been thinking about slapping a coupla smartphones to your ears to enhance your listening experience? Muzik One just stole your idea. The so-called Smartphone of Headphones combine high-fidelity, noise-cancelling playback...

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Stanley Classic Flask

$16 - $39.98 from Amazon »

If Paul Bunyan and Don Draper were sharing some hooch around the campfire, I bet the Stanley Classic Flask in Hammertone Crimson is what they'd use to tip it back. And so would I....

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Sting Ring

$22.95 from Amazon »

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...

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S.T. Dupont James Bond Spectre Lighter

$1,574.10 from Amazon »

The name's Bond. Flames Bond. Quick, here's a couple grand to spend on ST Dupont (the French luxury brand, not the US polymer one) loot. Do you go for the James Bond Spectre lighter or the Star Wars TIE Fighter pen? I'd...

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The Moon Ring

$18.95 from Amazon »

Did I say the Scary Intruder prop was a good way to find out how hard and fast my girlfriend punches? Well. That's because I hadn't see The Moon Ring yet. I feel like this prank's tagline should be: "Give her The Moon...

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Walky Dog Hands-Free Bicycle Leash

$59.95 from The Dog Outdoors »

Better have a good long talk with your dog before hooking him up to a Walky Dog hands-free bicycle leash. Lay some ground rules about tugging horizontally and keeping his instinct to tear off at full horsepower after...

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Scary Intruder Prank Door Prop

$24.95 from Amazon »

This looks like a good way to get punched in the face. Actually, a disturbingly realistic intruder prop hung in the bedroom doorway as a special treat for my girlfriend looks like a good way to punched in a lot of places....

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Classic Bento Vacuum Lunch Jar

$38.95 from Amazon »

Japan meets Russia in a bento lunch you can take to work matryoshka doll-style. Zojirushi's stainless steel vacuum lunch jar will keep hot foods hot, cold foods cold, and, most importantly, foods you don't want touching...

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iSINE Planar Magnetic Headphones

$399 from Audeze »

The "A" isn't for "Arachnid" or "Alien," it's for "Audeze." Creator of the forthcoming iSINE 10 planar magnetic headphones. Their webby design and hexagonal shape are definitely, uh, eye-catching. But are these Apple-device-exclusive...

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Wazer Desktop Waterjet Cutter

$3,999 - $4,499 from Wazer »

Wazer, the self-described first ever desktop waterjet cutter, has a few things going for it. First, if your friend Cornelius has ever sprayed you in the face with a pressure washer, you know how strong a jet of water...