Fitness

EMS Butt Toner & Hip Trainer

$28.90 from Amazon »

I smell a ssssssnake. In oil form. Please don't buy an EMS butt toner and hip trainer with the expectation that it's going to give you an ass like the lade in the above image. Actually, don't buy an EMS (that's electrical...

Tracer360 Illuminated & Reflective Vest

$54.95 from Amazon »

Ride safely, and rave brightly, my friends. The Tracer360 is an athletic vest designed to provide 360-degree illumination, reflectivity, and fluorescence. It has 6 user-controlled solid LED colors - red, blue, purple...

Chair Gym - The Total Body Workout

$159.99 from Amazon »

Oh boy, Dad, this one's for you. The Chair Gym appears to express no irony in calling itself an all-in-on total body workout system that's "great for all fitness levels." I would add, particularly the fitness levels who...

WalkingPad Slim, Folding Treadmill

$499 from Amazon »

Flat white, flat iron steak, flat earth, flat treadmill. Hooray for flat! And the WalkingPad treadmill's slim design isn't even the coolest thing about it. This piece of home (or office) gym equipment is also foldable...

My Pen is Huge Golf Towel

$24.95 from Amazon »

You may have shot a 70 on the golf course last weekend, but, but my pen is huge! Look at your tiny little pencil d-...oodler next to my big fat co-...lor scribbler...

EdgeCross X Home & Portable Gym

Sold Out from Amazon »

The EdgeCross X, a home and portable gym consisting of a handled barbell, balance wheel, and resistance bands, says it can provide a total body workout that will rip you like an Olympic athlete in just 10 minutes per...

Gaiam Restore Finger Massager

$9.98 from Amazon »

I don't know, that dude sticking his thumb inside the Gaiam Restore Finger Massager looks a little questionable. Maybe not quite as ill-advised as me sticking my hand down the garbage disposal to retrieve food I didn't...

Sauna Rocket Home Steam Sauna Kit

$198 from Amazon »

Well, the Sauna Rocket certainly isn't going to class up your living room lookin' all HAZMAT ready, but, for a home steam sauna kit, I guess the price is right. Setup and space requirements don't look too bad wither...

PocketBands - Key Pocket Runner's Wristband

$11.95 from Amazon »

Pocketbands come in handy - or rather, wristy - for runners, hikers, and others on the move who want to travel light and leave their world behind, but also need to travel with they keys and means to get back into that...

Assault Fitness AirRunner

$3,699 from Amazon »

Go from 11MPH to 0MPH to the couch in 2 seconds flat with the AirRunner treadmill trainer. From Assault Fitness, who also make the CrossFit-loved AirBike, the AirRunner runs on human power. Your movement gets the belt...

Plexus Wheel Sport for Muscle & Back Pain Relief

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Plexus Wheel Sport digs deep. And that's probably what you're going to have to do too to sustain the initial discomfort you'll feel pressing on and rolling along these easers of the back pain, and relaxers of the...

KettleBaby - Turn Your Kid into a Fitness Tool

$60 from KettleBaby »

KettleBaby has determined you don't need to spend a wad on web-connected bikes and treadmills, on-demand workout subscriptions, or VR trainers built into your mirror to get a stellar home workout. You just need to have...

Flyby Fuel - Hydration & Hangover Electrolyte Solution

$9.99 from Amazon »

Flyby adds some Fuel to its rough-night-recovery efforts with a 100% natural electrolyte concentrate that delivers rapid hydration to the cells of ye with hangovers, plus the health-conscious who are more disciplined...

InfinityBall 4-Speed Vibrating Massage Ball

$79.95 from Amazon »

I don't know why Nextrino decided a lacrosse ball, a foam roller, and a vibrator needed to meet, but with their InfinityBall 4-speed vibrating massage ball, that is indeed the introduction and co-mingling the company...

Hydrow Live Outdoor Reality Rowing Machine

$1,999 - $2,599 from Hydrow »

With on-demand fitness classes enjoying a run as the hot trend in home workouts, the Hydrow rowing machine follows the Peloton bike template of offering up on-demand and live rowing experiences on a precision-engineered...

Gorilla Bow Portable Home Gym

$152 from Amazon »

If the R3BAR AlphaPro doesn't have enough curves to fit your type of strength and conditioning tool, check out the Gorilla Bow. Another portable home gym that incorporates resistance bands for muscle building, the Gorilla...

BaseBlocks Portable Fitness Trainer

$169.99 from BaseBlocks »

Hey, BaseBlocks seem cool. I've been looking for ways to practice falling on my face and taking hunks of wood to the crotch. Just like a gymnast in training!...

Jacob's Ladder Gronk Edition Step Machine

$3,999.99 from Amazon »

I was surprised to learn that calling this Jacob's Ladder step machine the "Gronk Edition" doesn't mean Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski agreed to another paid endorsement deal. It means the entire Gronkowski family...

R3BAR AlphaPro Strength & Conditioning Tool

$249.99 from Amazon »

The fact that the R3BAR AlphaPro looks like a really fun piece of exercise equipment probably means every rep of every which way you use the strength and conditioning tool is going be pure torture. But maybe you're an...

1UP Gravity Pro - Bungee Workout Trainer

$199.90 from Amazon »

Bouncy bungee "workouts" are apparently a new fad in the fitness industry, and now, with a few screws and a high enough ceiling, you can get in on the cardio, core-building acrobaction at home. The 1UP Gravity Pro is...

Surge Adjustable Water Weight & Home Gym

$129.95 - $199.76 from Amazon »

Surge Storm and Surge Riptide training equipment for your home gym are all about the instability of water. Part of the "active resistance training" camp, these sandbag-shaped, slosh-pipe-inspired rigid weights are filled...

The Load Trainer

I've seen human pack mules, but before the Load Trainer I'd never seen human weight racks. In this military-meets-Crossfit piece of fitness equipment, Innovative Performance mounts a weight plate post attachment to an...

Acme Sledgeworks Fitness Tools

$80 - $140 from Acme Sledgeworks »

Work out, work out some stress, or work out that fireplace hearth you're about to replace with Acme Sledgeworks' line of intense industrial sledgehammers, dumbbells, and other fitness training tools...

The Booty LYFT Total Home Gym

$120 from Amazon »

I cannot tell a lie. Although I am a dude, I would Booty LYFT my booty if I thought I could get a booty LYFTed like that lady's. Sexy butts are unisex, no?...