Fitness

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OmniBall 360-Degree Strength Trainers

$79.95 from Amazon »

OmniBalls make 'em better. Pushups. Planks. Pilates. Kegels. Well...at 4 pounds and, like, 6" in diameter each, OK. Maybe not Kegels, ladies. But incorporate the 360-degree rolling strength trainers into hundreds of other...

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The RowBike

$1,495 - $2,995 from RowBike »

Before you start talkin' smack about the RowBike, I should let you know its creator, Scott Olson, also invented RollerBlades. RollerBlades. ... ... OK, now you can talk some smack about the RowBike....

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Solar Egg - The Golden Egg Sauna

Holy Willy Wonka golden goose egg, Batman! Want to go for a sauna? Come on, you gotta be sore--and cold!--from battling Mr. Freeze and ziplining 700 yards on one arm back to the Batcave!...

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Wicks Stick-On Sweat Shields

$7.99 from Wicks »

Wicks adhesive strips give wearers the functional advantage of acting as a sweat shield, diverting the blur and sting of salty secretions away from our eyes during exercise. And stylistically? Well, I heard oompa loompas...

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Toe Separator Socks for Alignment & Relief

$9.99 from Amazon »

Mmm, spread those sexy toes wide! Not just for my benefit, but for your own. Whether you're into yoga, promoting blood circulation and relieving foot pain after a workout, or slowing down the growth of your bunion, the...

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Qore Performance Hydration Shirt

$143.91 - $179 from Amazon »

What I would like Qore's Hydration Shirt to do is osmosis water through my skin from tiny little reservoirs housed in its bicep, triceps, shoulders, and abs--sized and shaped to looked like the ripped results of my own...

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DolfinPack Extreme Sports Hydration Pack

$44.95 from Amazon »

DolfinPack is the airline food & drink cart of the hydration bladder industry: designed to fit perfectly; hold way more than you'd think it would; and not waste an inch of space....

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VirZOOM Virtual Reality Exercise Bike

$399.99 from Amazon »

The VirZOOM Virtual Reality Exercise Bike delivers both active and passive health benefits. First, the person riding the bike and participating in its arcade of racing, shooting, trapping, and pegasus-flying VR games...

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HOVR Seated Walker

$89 - $189 from HOVR »

If you're sitting there reading about this HOVR contraption right now, know what you're doing? Restricting blood circulation. Contributing to the obesity epidemic. Sucking your productivity and concentration dry. Basically...

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DoubleFlex Black Total Body Portable Gym

$124 - $176 from OYO Fitness »

Like me, DoubleFlex Black creators, OYO Fitness, always wondered how NASA astronauts stay fit on the International Space Station. (No word on whether or not they also, like me, wondered how the astronauts vote and poop.)...

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Draper's Strength Pullup & Lifting Bands

$6.72 - $18.81 from Amazon »

I can do 87 pullups. No joke. All I need is a bar and a strategically placed 100-pound Draper's Strength Pullup Band. And a camera that hides my body from the waist down from all witnesses....

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Portable Pullup & Dip Bar

$275 - $295 from Pullup & Dip »

January 1. Bring on the pushups and dips. And by pushups I mean these delightful orange hangover cures, and by dips, the leftover guacamole and beefy chili queso to continue the New Year's celebration through NFL Sunday....

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ARC-NRG PushUp Machine

$199 from Amazon »

I didn't wrap up the ARC-NRG PushUp, stick it under the tree, and and call it a Christmas "gift" for my girlfriend. I simply showed it to her a couple days later, completely innocuously, no judgment in my voice when I...

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Occlusion Training Blood Flow Restriction Bands

Sold Out from Amazon »

Occlusion training, and the bands that facilitate it, is for all the lightweights out there. As in the plates, bars, dumbbells, and kettlebells that are physically on the lighter side. Originally termed KAATSU training...

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Grenade Grips Arm Rippers

$19.99 from Amazon »

Grenade Grips are like Fat Gripz, except way cooler on account of the fact that they are (loosely) shaped like grenades. At least that's what the people who make them would have you believe. If you're looking to increase...

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Baller Yoga Football Leather Yoga Mats

$495 - $1k from Baller Yoga »

A $1,000 yoga mat. Made of the same 100% pebble-grain leather as a football. Promoting itself as #BallerAF. Cheers, America, for bringing unchecked consumerism and raw aggression to an ancient discipline of simplicity...

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Jiu Jitsu Grappling Dummy

$249.95 - $349.95 from Amazon »

One thing I'm no so interested in using a Jiu Jitsu Grappling Dummy for is Jiu Jitsu. Or grappling. Those sound hard, and I'm getting all the workouts I can handle these days from the Private Gym. But what I would like...

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Sit & Decompress - The Ultimate Back Stretcher

$49.99 - $74.99 from Amazon »

Sex swing for your health! Naw, it's not a sex swing. I mean not officially. What you use it for is entirely up to you though. What Sit & Decompress developed their dangling doorway harness for is your spine. They call...

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Finis Foil Monofin

$38.20 - $48.95 from Amazon »

Few of us will ever have the opportunity to swim for Olympic Gold, and even fewer the opportunity to turn into a dolphin*. But we can still get stronger underwater. Build better form. Improve our strokes. And dream. The...

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BetterBack Posture Corrector

$59 from Amazon »

BetterBack has gotten a lot of support in its efforts to do the same for you. From Kickstarter to IndieGoGo crowdfunding, to Shark Tank and Lori Greiner investment funding, this posture corrector looks a little ridiculous...

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MOBOT Foam Roller Water Bottle

$39 - $65 from Amazon »

Drink up & rub down. The MOBOT, or Mobility Bottle, is a clever, clever water bottle whose outer wrap of athletic-grade, firm-density EVA foam serves as both insulation for its contents, and a muscle roller for your body....

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AXIUS Core Workout System

$195 - $250 from AXIUS Core »

Sometimes when trainers want you to engage your core they say things like, "Brace for a punch!" And sometimes that makes you want to tell them to brace for a punch too. In the face. Imagine AXIUS is your new core trainer....

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Armore Exoskeleton Arm Exerciser

$59.50 - $99 from Armore Fitness »

Armore's selling exoskeletons. Exoskeletons with a side of...tickets to the gun show! Their arm exercisers, wearables you can slip on before any activity, or under your clothes before you start your day, provide programmable...

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Captain America Barbell Plates

By: Onnit »

Your body's desire to lie on the couch with a 6-pack and some tater tachos versus your brain's desire to look like one of the Hemsworths. It's...Civil War!...

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Professional Deck Workout Bench

$202.95 - $209.99 from Amazon »

Fly, press, curl, and plyo bench for me, Jane Fonda--or whatever high-strung YouTube workout bunny took over for her--step aerobics for my girlfriend. If I could own only one piece of fitness equipment...well, I would...

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Smart Rope - LED-Embedded Jump Rope

$75.93 from Amazon »

Not since Kris Kross has something made me wanna jump!jump! so bad. The Smart Rope is a jump rope embedded with a strip of LEDs that doesn't just turn your cardio session into a disco, but actually displays your jump...

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DB2 Next Generation Dumbbell

$74.99 from Amazon »

I think a "next generation" dumbbell should be one that makes me ripped just by looking at it. But that next generation seems to be a few more generations of next out. As we make our way towards, it, we have this stop...

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ONE80 Halo Headlamp

$44 from ONE80 »

Strips of full-frontal and full-side-al LED lighting for your head. Whether you're a hiker, a cyclist, or a devout follower of the EDM festival scene, you may be interested in the ONE80 Halo Headlamp's ability to illuminate...

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Naked 3D Fitness Scanner

$499 from Naked »

All you metric-driven, body-conscious visual learners out there, it's time to get Naked. And anyone else intrigued by the idea of using regular 3D body scans to track health and fitness, you might want to give this full-length...

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MostFit Fitness Sledgehammer

$199.95 from Amazon »

The MostFit Core Hammer is a fitness sledgehammer. In case you hadn't heard, sledgehammer workouts are a thing now. Rrrawwwrrr! Typically they entail using a sledgehammer to beat the ever-loving rubber treads out of giant...

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StrongBoard Balance Board

$265.77 from Amazon »

Here are some levitators in training. Really. No, not really. I think they're actually people who really like to train in training, and upping their training game with the StrongBoard Balance....

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Bas Rutten Mass Suit

$219 from Amazon »

A full-body resistance band suit that enhances training and promotes more comprehensive muscle use and development? That's almost as ridiculous as a mouthpiece that reduces oxygen flow to improve lung endurance and athletic...

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Hypersphere Vibration Therapy Ball

$149 from Amazon »

Hyperice has a mission to keep athletes healthy. And while their brand of athletic health doesn't come cheap, the company has applied some standout concepts to traditional sports therapy and recovery accessories that...

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HEAT-WAVE Hot Stone Massage Tool

$87 from Amazon »

Valentine's Day Idea: get a hot stone to give your chosen one an even hotter massage. The SYNERGY STONE HEAT-WAVE (their choice to yell, not mine) is a curvy muscle roller that heats in 60 seconds in the microwave, and...

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monkii bars Portable Body Weight Gym

$149 from Amazon »

In the vein of the TRX home gym, monkii bars strive to the most portable and versatile piece of fitness equipment you own. With the thought being that if you always have your equipment with you, and hundreds of different...

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Portable Infrared Archsauna

Sold Out from Amazon »

Sure, the giant whiskey barrel sauna is ten times better than Tuningdome's Archsauna, but it also costs 10 times more. This portable half-dome uses infrared radiation provided by a ceramic heating system to gently warm...

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OfficeGYM

$107.50 from Amazon »

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Clark Kent practicing his moves! Nah. It's just some average dude in his desk chair trying to bulk up with the OfficeGYM during a conference call with India. Look at it, hear what it's...

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2-Person Canopy Barrel Sauna

$3,479 from Amazon »

Ahhh, a sauna that I don't have to share with half a dozen other sprawled out and sweaty dudes at the gym (dudes who, counterintuitively to the entire point of a sauna, insist on playing games and music on their phones...

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Recon Jet Smart Eyewear for Sports & Fitness

$499.99 from Amazon »

All those fitness trackers with their fancy sensors and metrics? Their data storage, coaching, push notifications, and incoming text messages? Yeah, Recon's Jet has those. But they're not on your wrist. They're in your...

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i-sopod Sensory Deprivation Float Tank

I used to have a membership to a sensory deprivation tank club (because I am both fancy and bored). What happens is you go into a private room, get naked, and then climb in these completely enclosed, completely pitch...

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Thync Mood-Altering Headpiece

Sold Out from Amazon »

When asked to describe their startup, Thync, in 3 words founders Isy Goldwasser and Dr. Jamie Tyler go with "How good feels." That's a relief. Because when I look at the sliver of wearable tech stamped on that dude's...

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Adjustable Kettle Versa-Bell

$128.84 from Amazon »

Kettlebells are designed to displace their weight away from your body during use, making the physics of lifting them more dynamic. Your stabilizing muscles must work just as hard as those moving the bell. Mastering kettlebell...

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CrossFit Reptile Calf Sleeves

$55 from Guroo Active »

Seems like a lot of dudes dig showing off their CrossFit goose eggs, but if you're not a lot of dudes...or your girlfriend doesn't want you meeting her parents at the family lake house with bludgeoned shins...maybe you...

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Chinese Acupressure Massage Rings

$10.99 from Amazon »

While a set of slinky rings isn't what I normally think of when someone says "Asian massage" I can see how all the typing, gaming, and touch screening we do today could make a round of finger acupressure just as helpful--if...

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Nayoya Back Hook Massager

$59.97 from Amazon »

Foam rollers might hammer out the pains in my ass, but when it comes to kneading out the knots in my back, nothing works better than the abnormally strong hands of my girlfriend. It's one of the many reasons I call her...

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Vaiden Astronaut Workout Shirts

$70 - $90 from Vaiden »

It's not that Vaiden makes workout shirts for astronauts or shirts for some newfangled astronaut workout (i.e., go to space, instantly lose 80% of your body weight!) Instead they've incorporated astronaut heat management...

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GoRoll Foam Roller with Storage

$79 - $89 from GoRoll »

GoRoll combines the firm shell and EVA foam coating of massage rollers with the hollow core of my ex-girlfriend Karen to produce this dual purpose tension reliever and lockable storage cylinder. A detachable carry strap...

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The Rodeo Core Fitness Trainer

$234.95 from Amazon »

The Rodeo Core fitness trainer invites you to "Enjoy a delightful ride while whipping core muscles into shape!" Coincidentally, that was also the invitation I gave the ladies I used to meet on Tinder. No wonder they were...