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Tuesday, December 2, 2014
$174 from Ellusionist »

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. I know because only Santa could make a hidden wristband that allows me to launch fireballs from my open palm, and only Santa could make it available for my mama to purchase for me right...

Tuesday, November 25, 2014
$275 from Citizen Brick »

She's mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out! She's a brick...uh...minifig. The lady's stacked with a plastic rack, gonna give The LEGO Group a heart attack. She's a brick........

Sunday, February 17, 2013
$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring, has released the opportunity for couples to consummate their love...or just get nasty, depending on your outlook...in the fabled scenario of Airplane Soaring Upwards of 5,280 Feet....

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$9.83 from Amazon »

We have big books of breasts...in 3D. On top of coloring books of vaginas. Smashed next to coloring books of multiple anatomical parts interlocking with other anatomical parts. To complete the nudie sandwich, I think it's...

Thursday, December 18, 2014
$650 from Bob Basset »

Well I guess it's technically the "Batman Mask As It Could Be in 1920" according to designer Bob Basset, but look at that laced-up backside. And its ingredients: leather; brass; and mesh. I think this Dark Knight has S&M written...

Friday, July 25, 2014
$16 from Tinnus »

Nevermind where can I get some Bunch O Balloons, the better question is where can I get two kids as calm, as pleasant, and as capable of doing heavy manual labor as the pair in the video? Did you see that little blonde girl dragging a barrel of, like, a thousand water balloons like it was no heavier than a box of foam packing peanuts? She wasn't even out of breath at the end. Or whining. More Americans...

Friday, December 19, 2014
$11.27 - $23.57 from Amazon »

Paging through The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Known Atom in the Universe is almost like going on an acid trip. Bright colors, textured images, constant enlightenment. And when you're finished with it, you actually...

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$42.25 - $55.89 from Amazon »

I spent most of the day contemplating how I might discuss The Big Book of Breasts 3D with the great respect and deference I feel for it and its contents, but without sounding too dry, detached, or clinical. Unfortunately...

Sunday, November 23, 2014
$39.95 from iHelicopters.net »

Unfortunately, these iPhone-controlled insects cannot fly or crawl up my friend Cornelius' leg and make him die while he's engaged in Advanced Warfare. On screen, obviously. Off screen he would just squeal like the lovechild...

Saturday, November 22, 2014
$549 - $899.99 from Amazon »

It started shipping only a couple days ago, but Alienware's "substitute" Steam Machine, the Alpha PC gaming series, has already gotten a lot of ambivalent feedback from blog reviewers and buyers alike. Me? Well, my mama says...

Thursday, October 2, 2014
$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw, including...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$79.55 from Amazon »

First published in 1981, the radically strange and unparalleled Codex Seraphinianus took Italian architect, illustrator, and industrial designer Luigi Serafini 2-1/2 years to complete. What is it? Aside from floating in the...

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Compact Folding Survival Bow, or CFSB-1 for the acronym happy (I think the "1" indicates it's #1 in the world, like America or Megan Fox in a Supergirl outfit), is a patent-pending one-piece takedown bow milled from T-6...

Thursday, July 17, 2014

If I had known when I was 7 that I could grow up to be a manufacturer of custom motorized drift trikes maybe I would have let go of all that astronaut BS before wasting the next 12 years figuring out that I'm not smart enough...

Tuesday, December 9, 2014
$55 - $199 from Boomerangs By Vic »

Vic Poulin has invented some Batarangs that just might indicate whether or not you're actually qualified to be Batman. His advanced returning Batarang boomerangs, available in standard 14" and Big Daddy 25" lengths, aren't...

Sunday, April 6, 2014
$19.95 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled into thinking the Toroflux kinetic sculpture is just some stupid bracelet-slinky-figuratively-one-dimensional-girl-and-baby toy like I was. Watch the video. Like, beyond the first 10 seconds when the dude is...

Tuesday, December 16, 2014
$21 from Amazon »

I think cooking is cool as long as I'm on the receiving end of its spoils. For example, I like fried chicken, smoked brisket, homemade croissants, lasagna, apple hand pies, and those cheesy potatoes with Corn Flakes on top....

Sunday, December 14, 2014
$13.50 from Amazon »

English majors and word nerds, get your snorts and snickers ready. And everyone else rolling your eyes, get your glasses ready. I'm sure Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist will seem hilarious to you too after...

Monday, November 24, 2014
$49.99 - $119.95 from Amazon »

Combat Creatures' Attacknids are rugged, obstacle-crushing RC toys that also, true to their name, engage each other (or my neighbor's cat Willard) in combat. Models include the Stealth and Vanguard Stryders, which fire foam...

Tuesday, November 4, 2014
$60 from Paul Roustan »

I can't do what body paint artist Paul Roustan does. And while I definitely have the body to serve as one of his subjects, my mama always tells me that modesty is a virtue, and also that she'll be forever grateful that my...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014
$599 from Amazon »

A .22 caliber belt-fed pellet machine gun powered by a can of CO2, HPA, or Nitrogen. And, according to photographic evidence, Grandpa. Between the Ka-Bar cane and this SMG .22, Grandpa's been getting a lot of play in the weapons...

Friday, June 21, 2013
$17 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying not...

Monday, February 18, 2013
$6.40 from Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad. Self-described...

Tuesday, March 18, 2014
$11.66 from Amazon »

Puberty was a really uncomfortable and difficult time for me. To the point that my mama went out and hired a shrink. At the end of the second session though he put his pen down and said, "Son, you really don't need me. What...

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
$300 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

Thursday, January 16, 2014
$33.30 from Amazon »

Assassin's Creed fan or not, everyone needs a gauntlet with a hidden retractable blade. The Edward Kenway Black Flag replica shown here includes one that's spring-loaded with switchblade-style action. The gauntlet itself has...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Zombies really have taken over the world, huh? Or at least the free market economy. The clever German capitalists who designed this introduction of the omnipresent living dead to the bowling alley made a good move though....

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$175 - $695 from Etsy »

Buckle up, boys, it's October 1. The onslaught of sexy Halloween costumes is revving its 400-asspower engine. Segue into the spectacle with a looksee at Spanish designer Boyd Baten's cyber armor. No, wait, I mean Boyd Baten's...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
$18.99 from Amazon »

Hey kids, here's a surefire way to make your parents construct an advent calendar counting down the days until you go back to school next fall. The Turbospoke system, a battery-free, pedal-powered child's dream, fits onto...

Saturday, August 9, 2014
$673.74 from Amazon »

Is paintball sniping really true to the sport's original intent? I mean, I guess you have to build a certain amount of skill to effectively aim and control your shots, but it's not like snipers have to run. Or maneuver their...

Sunday, October 12, 2014
$14.40 from Amazon »

In his What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions author Randall Munroe goes beyond standard ricoculous queries, like What if I was in a free falling elevator but jumped in the air at the exact moment...

Sunday, January 26, 2014

My 13-year-old nephew has had gamer rage for, like, 5 years now. Oh man, he used to get SO MAD when the levels got harder in Super Mario Galaxy. Sometimes, if he knew he was about to die, he'd pause the game, hurl the controller...

Sunday, June 22, 2014
$8,495 from SylvanSport »

I bet that lady making such frequent and variable use of her SylvanSport GO camping trailer wishes the family and friends who are going to enjoy its 4 air mattresses, bed and table panels, rear awning, and abundant storage...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
Discontinued

Does depressing the S-76 Ampratite Plasma Pistol's spring steel trigger really release unstable and highly reactive Zephane gas for co-mingling with exposed Ampratite crystals, the consequences of which generate an intense...

Saturday, October 18, 2014
$20 from Kickstarter »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there deserving...

Thursday, June 19, 2014
$24.99 from Lewd and Obscene »

Lewd and Obscene, according to creator Anthony Annese, is what would happen "if Urban Dictionary and Balderdash had a one night stand and the condom broke." Testament #1 to the validity of that statement: mentally rotate the...

Sunday, November 10, 2013
$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The geometric Gomboc's shape supposedly mimics that of a radiated tortoise shell, and its movement that of the animal's when it rights itself without the use of its limbs. Now if that's the case, my question is: why would...

Thursday, December 4, 2014
$796.09 from Amazon »

Stand up paddleboarding is super fun! Unless you lack the balance, core strength, and stamina of an Olympic athlete, in which case it's super fun for the first 15 minutes, and a shit show of falling into water, heaving yourself...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$2,500 - $2,900 from Rungu »

Rungu's Juggernaut fat-tire bullfrog trike makes it possible to go where a bike can't go and a car won't go. To ride where others dare only walk. To look in grandiosity somewhere between Billy the Puppet pedaling in to assign...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
$15.80 - $23.37 from Amazon »

Rabbit with Long Ear is by far the most profound book I've read...ever. In 0 words and less than 5 seconds it provides a stirring and stark look into the life of a creature cursed with inordinately long lobes who refuses to...

Wednesday, December 3, 2014
$16.45 from Amazon »

Proof: Booze Makes Everything Better. No, not really. Well I mean, yes, that's really true of course, but it's not really the name of the book. Proof: The Science of Booze is its accurate title. But I'm pretty sure that inside...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$9.83 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically a set...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
$13.49 from Amazon »

Some dude at work gave me this Manual to Manhood malarkey. Like, he was under the impression that I don't know how to tie a tie or cook a steak or change my oil. Which is true, but I'm not sure why I'd waste my time reading...

Sunday, June 22, 2014
$14.89 from Deals Only »

Use the Haze Pro Professional Smoke Grenade for emergency training drills. To create realistic disaster scenes or dramatic entrances in amateur movies and at parities. As a smoke screen during Airsoft and paintball battles....

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$750 from Etsy »

Kayla Lael of Vengeance Designs knows that the highest and best use of latex is for cosplay costumes, and the highest and best echelons of cosplay costumes are intricate, provocative, and reveal large surface areas of ladies'...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014
$9.97 from Amazon »

Kat Su has poured the best (and by that I mean strangest and most perverse) of her Tumblr crappytaxidermy.com into a coffee table book sure to make your coffee table the least popular gathering place in town. Crap Taxidermy...

Wednesday, October 29, 2014
$4.96 - $6.02 from Amazon »

They call them Super Miracle Bubbles because they glow. At least the Glow Fusion Bubble Solution glows. The bubbles it produces appear to have about the same luminosity as every other bubble. Which doesn't necessarily make...

Friday, February 14, 2014
$500 from Wish.co.uk »

Happy Valentine's Day. Unless you're single and lonely. Especially unless you're single and lonely because you just got dumped. But cheer up, minced-hearted Charlies, I've got even better tidings for you. Tidings, dare I say...

Saturday, August 23, 2014
$100 from Overade »

The Plixi helmet is kind of like origami, if origami were made from ABS and expanded polystrene and could save you from massive head trauma. So I guess in a way it's better than origami. From Paris-based Overade, the protective...

Friday, June 27, 2014
$49.95 from Amazon »

Reader James S. wrote in recommending the NcStar Crossbow for its value and proficiency. Specifically, he says, "I picked one of these up back in March and it's awesome. Inexpensive and you certainly can take out little varmints...

Saturday, September 13, 2014
$320 from Amazon »

When I first saw these bubble soccer balls for sale I thought of the Human Slingshot. Of accidents waiting to happen. Of Darwin Awards. But apparently this is a sport that has been around Europe for a while, and is beginning...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$70 - $295 from ColdBloodArt »

ColdBloodArt. Damn. If I did art, even it were no more than friendship bracelets and construction paper airplanes, that's definitely what I would call it. Fortunately for the Thailand-based company that actually assumed the...

Sunday, July 27, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

I was just thinking the other day that I could stand for a good round of co-ed jello wrestling. But when I started doing the calculations to figure out how many boxes of gelatin-forming strawberry granules I'd need to fill...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$13 from Sleefs »

Are you a superhero with blazing gauntlets, or just a sensible athlete who knows compression sleeves will improve blood circulation and contribute to peak performance? I myself am neither, but do hope Sleefs' Black Fire compression...

Thursday, November 13, 2014
$25.99 from Amazon »

Monkey Lights and their explosions of LED colors and patterns first hit bike wheels a few years ago thanks to crowdfunding. Since then the company has built a thriving business around their dual goals of keeping cyclists safe...

Thursday, September 18, 2014
$25.10 from Amazon »

Not to brag, but...I'm pretty sure I coined the phrase "ass hornet" while sitting on the john one night after my friend Cornelius dared me to lace my chili with a tablespoon of powdered bhut jolokia. And now, after mere hours...

Sunday, November 2, 2014
$14.03 from Amazon »

Now that Breaking Bad is over it's time to cook up your own meth...cupcakes. Or, I don't know, maybe it's just blue food coloring in the mix and rock candy on top. Whatever, fans of the show going through Walter White withdrawal--and...

Monday, October 6, 2014
$370 from Bethesda Store »

Bethesda Store and Quake Con have produced only 250 of these highly detailed Dragon Priest Mask variants of their Dragonborn statue. From official 2D artwork to formidable 3D incarnation, the Elder Scrolls legend stalwartly...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014
$41.89 from Firebox.com »

The cool thing about this DIY submachine gun is that while there is a 98% chance it will paper cut up your hands during assembly, there is a 0% chance it will blow your head off or inadvertently light up your mama's brand...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$300 from Amazon »

I still can't believe they once let snaggletooth Kirsten Dunst play Mary Jane Watson. Sideshow Collectibles' statue would have made a better ultimate girl next door than she did just kneeling there silent and unmoving. All...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

Know what your TV needs? A suction cup. Not sold? How about a suction cup housing an on-screen LED red dot sight attachment for gaming guns? The HipShotDot attaches via USB to video game consoles (or an external USB power...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$280 from Etsy »

The march towards October 31st continues. The night of ghouls in glowing eyes and dripping blood, and girls in latex and 5" thigh-high boots. Of bodies dead and decaying, and bodies half naked, well-endowed, and making me...

Monday, September 19, 2011

This is just one of many amazing DIY projects undertaken by Harrison Krix, and documented on his personal blog. If you think these photos are cool, check out his detailed explanation of them, as well as his nifty time lapse...

Sunday, September 7, 2014
$99.99 from Amazon »

Sphero says Ollie, its latest app-driven RC toy, can "launch over the competition at floor-warping speeds." In the world of Bluetooth connectivity and USB rechargeable power, that's about 14 mph. Hmmm. Five times slower than...

Thursday, September 25, 2014
$12.30 from Amazon »

If I had a kid I think I would be way more concerned about it not going the fuck to sleep than not fucking eating because, I mean, the hours from bedtime to the ass crack of dawn when the kid inevitably wakes back up are the...

Friday, November 14, 2014

Hey, it's Scrabble for the Jumbo Crosswords crowd. But $20 says more people will spell words wrong trying to maneuver their letters in supersized form. Seriously, the alphabet's way harder to manage when it's big (case in...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013
$75k from World View »

Lance Bass, your dreams of space travel may be alive yet. Presuming you'd be willing to settle for a hot air balloon ride at the edge of the earth instead of an actual interstellar sojourn. Arizona-based aerospace firm World...