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Saturday, January 24, 2015

Invisible Boyfriend may have just gone viral, but Wish.co.uk--and I'm sure a load of other apps and services--have been churning out realistic-ish virtual sig o's for a while now. Still, Invisible Boyfriend has somehow managed...

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
$174 from Ellusionist »

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. I know because only Santa could make a hidden wristband that allows me to launch fireballs from my open palm, and only Santa could make it available for my mama to purchase for me right...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring, has released the opportunity for couples to consummate their love...or just get nasty, depending on your outlook...in the fabled scenario of Airplane Soaring Upwards of 5,280 Feet....

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$9.83 from Amazon »

We have big books of breasts...in 3D. On top of coloring books of vaginas. Smashed next to coloring books of multiple anatomical parts interlocking with other anatomical parts. To complete the nudie sandwich, I think it's...

Tuesday, November 25, 2014
$275 from Citizen Brick »

She's mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out! She's a brick...uh...minifig. The lady's stacked with a plastic rack, gonna give The LEGO Group a heart attack. She's a brick........

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$42.25 - $55.89 from Amazon »

I spent most of the day contemplating how I might discuss The Big Book of Breasts 3D with the great respect and deference I feel for it and its contents, but without sounding too dry, detached, or clinical. Unfortunately, I kept staring into the eyes (nipples) of these inhumanly massive, yet all-natural, all-star baloobas and could come up with nothing but a titanium rod of an erection. I was in...

Friday, July 25, 2014
$16 from Tinnus »

Nevermind where can I get some Bunch O Balloons, the better question is where can I get two kids as calm, as pleasant, and as capable of doing heavy manual labor as the pair in the video? Did you see that little blonde girl...

Saturday, December 27, 2014
$44.99 from SafeWireless »

What childish fool would want to make his Ford Escort sound like a Ferrari 512?...

Tuesday, January 20, 2015
$25 from Amazon »

I was just wondering what I'll do to pass the time once football season is over. At first I thought I'd be stuck re-watching Seasons 1 through 7 of The Gilmore Girls with my mama, but now it appears I have an alternative:...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$86.89 from Amazon »

First published in 1981, the radically strange and unparalleled Codex Seraphinianus took Italian architect, illustrator, and industrial designer Luigi Serafini 2-1/2 years to complete. What is it? Aside from floating in the...

Thursday, October 2, 2014
$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw, including...

Monday, January 19, 2015
$31.69 from Amazon »

The Legend of Zelda Monopoly? Good luck rescuing the princess in this game that never ends. Trade American dollars for funny looking rainbow Canadian...uh, I mean Hyrulian currency and start hoarding your sculpted Deku Sprouts...

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Compact Folding Survival Bow, or CFSB-1 for the acronym happy (I think the "1" indicates it's #1 in the world, like America or Megan Fox in a Supergirl outfit), is a patent-pending one-piece takedown bow milled from T-6...

Thursday, July 17, 2014

If I had known when I was 7 that I could grow up to be a manufacturer of custom motorized drift trikes maybe I would have let go of all that astronaut BS before wasting the next 12 years figuring out that I'm not smart enough...

Sunday, April 6, 2014
$19.95 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled into thinking the Toroflux kinetic sculpture is just some stupid bracelet-slinky-figuratively-one-dimensional-girl-and-baby toy like I was. Watch the video. Like, beyond the first 10 seconds when the dude is...

Friday, January 2, 2015
$479.95 from Amazon »

We previously showed you the Airow Gun paintball attachment for bows, but if you're willing to shell out a little extra, this .68 caliber Airow Gun paintball kit will provide the same arsenal-hurling services, with a Diamond...

Wednesday, January 7, 2015
$7.99 from Amazon »

A Gronking to Remember, or as the late mayor of Boston, Tom Menino would call it, A Gonking to Remember is the first! in the Rob Gronkowski erotica series. E L James move over. And for that matter, Twain, Hemmingway, and...

Sunday, November 23, 2014
$39.95 from iHelicopters.net »

Unfortunately, these iPhone-controlled insects cannot fly or crawl up my friend Cornelius' leg and make him die while he's engaged in Advanced Warfare. On screen, obviously. Off screen he would just squeal like the lovechild...

Friday, June 21, 2013
$17.99 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying not...

Monday, February 18, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad. Self-described...

Saturday, November 22, 2014
$549 - $899.99 from Amazon »

It started shipping only a couple days ago, but Alienware's "substitute" Steam Machine, the Alpha PC gaming series, has already gotten a lot of ambivalent feedback from blog reviewers and buyers alike. Me? Well, my mama says...

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
$275 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

Tuesday, March 18, 2014
$11.59 from Amazon »

Puberty was a really uncomfortable and difficult time for me. To the point that my mama went out and hired a shrink. At the end of the second session though he put his pen down and said, "Son, you really don't need me. What...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Zombies really have taken over the world, huh? Or at least the free market economy. The clever German capitalists who designed this introduction of the omnipresent living dead to the bowling alley made a good move though....

Thursday, January 16, 2014
$33.30 from Amazon »

Assassin's Creed fan or not, everyone needs a gauntlet with a hidden retractable blade. The Edward Kenway Black Flag replica shown here includes one that's spring-loaded with switchblade-style action. The gauntlet itself has...

Thursday, December 25, 2014
$16.04 from Amazon »

In addition to The Art of Eating through the Zombie Apocalypse can I get one called The Art of Fighting Indigestion through Christmas Day? From my mama's cinnamon rolls and egg casserole at breakfast to the 6-pack of microbrew...

Wednesday, December 31, 2014
$199.99 from Amazon »

It's like an inverted Polar Bear Plunge. And the Soak 'N' Wet Dunk Tank would be the perfect way to sober up after New Year's Eve. Also ideal for making your friend Cornelius regret having passed out in your front entry vestibule....

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$175 - $695 from Etsy »

Buckle up, boys, it's October 1. The onslaught of sexy Halloween costumes is revving its 400-asspower engine. Segue into the spectacle with a looksee at Spanish designer Boyd Baten's cyber armor. No, wait, I mean Boyd Baten's...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

Tuesday, November 4, 2014
$60 from Paul Roustan »

I can't do what body paint artist Paul Roustan does. And while I definitely have the body to serve as one of his subjects, my mama always tells me that modesty is a virtue, and also that she'll be forever grateful that my...

Tuesday, May 13, 2014
$15.99 from Amazon »

Hey kids, here's a surefire way to make your parents construct an advent calendar counting down the days until you go back to school next fall. The Turbospoke system, a battery-free, pedal-powered child's dream, fits onto...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014
$599 from Amazon »

A .22 caliber belt-fed pellet machine gun powered by a can of CO2, HPA, or Nitrogen. And, according to photographic evidence, Grandpa. Between the Ka-Bar cane and this SMG .22, Grandpa's been getting a lot of play in the weapons...

Saturday, August 9, 2014
$673.74 from Amazon »

Is paintball sniping really true to the sport's original intent? I mean, I guess you have to build a certain amount of skill to effectively aim and control your shots, but it's not like snipers have to run. Or maneuver their...

Sunday, January 26, 2014

My 13-year-old nephew has had gamer rage for, like, 5 years now. Oh man, he used to get SO MAD when the levels got harder in Super Mario Galaxy. Sometimes, if he knew he was about to die, he'd pause the game, hurl the controller...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
Discontinued

Does depressing the S-76 Ampratite Plasma Pistol's spring steel trigger really release unstable and highly reactive Zephane gas for co-mingling with exposed Ampratite crystals, the consequences of which generate an intense...

Sunday, June 22, 2014
$8,495 from SylvanSport »

I bet that lady making such frequent and variable use of her SylvanSport GO camping trailer wishes the family and friends who are going to enjoy its 4 air mattresses, bed and table panels, rear awning, and abundant storage...

Thursday, January 8, 2015
$12.47 from Amazon »

Matt Kepnes has spent years traveling the world on the cheap. For the past 5 or so he's been blogging about it under the name Nomadic Matt, sharing his secrets and tips with other wannabe explorers on a budget. So now Kepnes...

Thursday, December 18, 2014
$650 from Bob Basset »

Well I guess it's technically the "Batman Mask As It Could Be in 1920" according to designer Bob Basset, but look at that laced-up backside. And its ingredients: leather; brass; and mesh. I think this Dark Knight has S&M written...

Monday, November 24, 2014
$49.99 - $119.95 from Amazon »

Combat Creatures' Attacknids are rugged, obstacle-crushing RC toys that also, true to their name, engage each other (or my neighbor's cat Willard) in combat. Models include the Stealth and Vanguard Stryders, which fire foam...

Thursday, June 19, 2014
$24.99 from Lewd and Obscene »

Lewd and Obscene, according to creator Anthony Annese, is what would happen "if Urban Dictionary and Balderdash had a one night stand and the condom broke." Testament #1 to the validity of that statement: mentally rotate the...

Sunday, November 10, 2013
$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The geometric Gomboc's shape supposedly mimics that of a radiated tortoise shell, and its movement that of the animal's when it rights itself without the use of its limbs. Now if that's the case, my question is: why would...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$9.91 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically a set...

Sunday, October 12, 2014
$14.40 from Amazon »

In his What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions author Randall Munroe goes beyond standard ricoculous queries, like What if I was in a free falling elevator but jumped in the air at the exact moment...

Thursday, May 29, 2014
$2,500 - $2,900 from Rungu »

Rungu's Juggernaut fat-tire bullfrog trike makes it possible to go where a bike can't go and a car won't go. To ride where others dare only walk. To look in grandiosity somewhere between Billy the Puppet pedaling in to assign...

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$750 from Etsy »

Kayla Lael of Vengeance Designs knows that the highest and best use of latex is for cosplay costumes, and the highest and best echelons of cosplay costumes are intricate, provocative, and reveal large surface areas of ladies'...

Saturday, October 18, 2014
$20 from Kickstarter »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there deserving...

Sunday, June 22, 2014
$14.89 from Deals Only »

Use the Haze Pro Professional Smoke Grenade for emergency training drills. To create realistic disaster scenes or dramatic entrances in amateur movies and at parities. As a smoke screen during Airsoft and paintball battles....

Tuesday, August 26, 2014
$9.30 from Amazon »

Kat Su has poured the best (and by that I mean strangest and most perverse) of her Tumblr crappytaxidermy.com into a coffee table book sure to make your coffee table the least popular gathering place in town. Crap Taxidermy...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$70 - $295 from ColdBloodArt »

ColdBloodArt. Damn. If I did art, even it were no more than friendship bracelets and construction paper airplanes, that's definitely what I would call it. Fortunately for the Thailand-based company that actually assumed the...

Friday, February 14, 2014
$500 from Wish.co.uk »

Happy Valentine's Day. Unless you're single and lonely. Especially unless you're single and lonely because you just got dumped. But cheer up, minced-hearted Charlies, I've got even better tidings for you. Tidings, dare I say...

Tuesday, December 9, 2014
$55 - $199 from Boomerangs By Vic »

Vic Poulin has invented some Batarangs that just might indicate whether or not you're actually qualified to be Batman. His advanced returning Batarang boomerangs, available in standard 14" and Big Daddy 25" lengths, aren't...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$13 from Sleefs »

Are you a superhero with blazing gauntlets, or just a sensible athlete who knows compression sleeves will improve blood circulation and contribute to peak performance? I myself am neither, but do hope Sleefs' Black Fire compression...

Friday, June 27, 2014
$120.95 from Amazon »

Reader James S. wrote in recommending the NcStar Crossbow for its value and proficiency. Specifically, he says, "I picked one of these up back in March and it's awesome. Inexpensive and you certainly can take out little varmints...

Saturday, September 13, 2014
$320 from Amazon »

When I first saw these bubble soccer balls for sale I thought of the Human Slingshot. Of accidents waiting to happen. Of Darwin Awards. But apparently this is a sport that has been around Europe for a while, and is beginning...

Saturday, August 23, 2014
$100 from Overade »

The Plixi helmet is kind of like origami, if origami were made from ABS and expanded polystrene and could save you from massive head trauma. So I guess in a way it's better than origami. From Paris-based Overade, the protective...

Monday, September 19, 2011

This is just one of many amazing DIY projects undertaken by Harrison Krix, and documented on his personal blog. If you think these photos are cool, check out his detailed explanation of them, as well as his nifty time lapse...

Sunday, July 27, 2014
$119 from Amazon »

I was just thinking the other day that I could stand for a good round of co-ed jello wrestling. But when I started doing the calculations to figure out how many boxes of gelatin-forming strawberry granules I'd need to fill...

Thursday, October 3, 2013
$280 from Etsy »

The march towards October 31st continues. The night of ghouls in glowing eyes and dripping blood, and girls in latex and 5" thigh-high boots. Of bodies dead and decaying, and bodies half naked, well-endowed, and making me...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

Know what your TV needs? A suction cup. Not sold? How about a suction cup housing an on-screen LED red dot sight attachment for gaming guns? The HipShotDot attaches via USB to video game consoles (or an external USB power...

Friday, September 14, 2012
$850 from Etsy »

Gas-powered mechanical wizard John Paul Rishea of Bionic Concepts follows up his Exo-Gauntlet Exoskeleton with this set of searing blue LED wings waiting to be scooped up by the first fancier of flight with $830. The wings...

Thursday, April 10, 2014
$549.98 from Amazon »

I still can't believe they once let snaggletooth Kirsten Dunst play Mary Jane Watson. Sideshow Collectibles' statue would have made a better ultimate girl next door than she did just kneeling there silent and unmoving. All...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014
$41.89 from Firebox.com »

The cool thing about this DIY submachine gun is that while there is a 98% chance it will paper cut up your hands during assembly, there is a 0% chance it will blow your head off or inadvertently light up your mama's brand...

Saturday, October 19, 2013
$149.99 from Anki »

Artificial intelligence and robotics, the virtual reality video game and the actual reality physical game, Anki and iOS: these are the parts of Anki DRIVE that make it a whole new experience in the gaming industry. A simple...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013
$75k from World View »

Lance Bass, your dreams of space travel may be alive yet. Presuming you'd be willing to settle for a hot air balloon ride at the edge of the earth instead of an actual interstellar sojourn. Arizona-based aerospace firm World...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012
$27.47 from Amazon »

I'm not saying the Euler's Disk isn't fascinating and rad and a commendable utilization of the laws of physics, but watching and listening to it creates a great deal of anxiety in my heart. It's like the foreboding music in...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014
By: Ludosport

How is it possible that the Italians--the Italians!--are the first people on Earth to create a nationwide franchise of lightsaber combat academies? If not the US I could maybe, maybe see Japan taking the lead here, but Italy?...

Saturday, June 14, 2014
$10.99 - $79.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Behold the Sushi Squadron Shirada, an army of raw fish and rice bound by seaweed and mayonnaise. Or is it? An army, sure. But are those soldiers really seafood-based or are they...yes. That's what I thought. More than meets...

Thursday, September 18, 2014
$25 from Amazon »

Not to brag, but...I'm pretty sure I coined the phrase "ass hornet" while sitting on the john one night after my friend Cornelius dared me to lace my chili with a tablespoon of powdered bhut jolokia. And now, after mere hours...