Novelty

Road Rage Restrictor

What?! Road Rage Restrictor? Middle finger on lockdown? Well, more like Pointer, Ring Finger, and Pinky on lockup. But, but, why? One of the only redeeming qualities of driving today is being able to flip off other drivers...

No.2 ASSence Prank Perfume

$15.95 from Amazon »

Eau de toilette meets eau de toilet with No. 2 ASSence, The Fragrance. It's a prank perfume not only in name and packaging, but also, uh on the nose, with a scent seller Gagster describes as "a fart, the smell of a skunk...

Hot Head Candles

No one can say any of these famous (and infamous) politicians and world leaders (plus Albert Einstein) isn't a hot head when they have a Hot Head Candle wick sticking out of their head...

Cock Breath Mints

$4.99 from Amazon »

Cock breath is alright, but I think I prefer dick breath. As an insult, I mean. Obviously...

For Rectal Use Only Stickers

$8.50 from Amazon »

Celebrate Hump Day with a fat roll of "For Rectal Use Only" Stickers! At first I wasn't sure if this 500-strong cylinder of instructional labels was a legit medical supply, or intended for the pranks I'll certainly be...

Shut The Fucupcakes Wipes

$9.88 from Amazon »

What the fucupcakes did I just get all over my hands? Is this batter? Mud my wife's cousin's dog tracked into the kitchen? POO my wife's cousin's kid shat in the kitchen?!...

The Frustration Box

$17.99 - $21.98 from Pranks Anonymous »

Frustration-free packaging? Psshh. Not a chance when I need to send an anonymous little something to the dude who acts like our office is his personal Amazon Locker. The Frustration Box from Pranks Anonymous requires...

Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts

$39.95 - $10k from Testicuzzi »

Sadly - or maybe thankfully? - there are no photos of the Testicuzzi in action. At least not any this jacuzzi for the nuts' makers have published publicly. But one look at the empty hot tub - its contoured rim, its dual...

World Champion D*ck Trophy

$9.15 from Amazon »

If you've already awarded someone the Golden Douchebag Trophy, here's a World Champion Dick Trophy to hand out to the second (or newest) biggest jerk you know...

Cell Phone Jail

$10.99 from Amazon »

It's a cell for your cell. Or, more likely, this mobile phone jail will be where your kids' phones serve time when you decide they need to break and reenter the physical world, or when they smart off, sneak out, or turn...

Pecker Pillows

$9.99 - $28.99 from Amazon »

Looking for ways to get a head? Pecker pillows, adorable plushes made to look like the heads of penises, can get you more than a head. They can get you a lot of head...

Finger Breakdancing Kit

$9.59 from Amazon »

Get fit in 2019 with Finger Breakdancing. They say it's easy on the joints, fun for the whole family, and requires coordination only from the knuckles down. Bust out the cardboard - oh, wait, it's included in the Finger...

While You Were Out Cold Notes

$10.99 from Amazon »

I don't really need While You Were Out Cold Notes to stick on my friend Cornelius when he passes out drunk. It's pretty clear what happened without a written explanation. At least as soon as he tries to stand up and finds...

The NoPhone Air

$5.99 from Amazon »

The NoPhone Air is this season's premier smartphone for anyone perpetually glued to their screen. You know, people who only look up 2 or 3 times a day, and then always seem surprised to see that humans and animals exist...

A Sack of Sh*t

$8.80 from Amazon »

And I'm not talking the emoji poo kind. Getting a Sack of Shit in your stocking this year is way worse than a lump of coal (and way, way worse than the delightfully handy Wild Coal) and giving a Sack of Shit to someone...

100 Tricks to Walk Naked Without Anyone Seeing You

$9.99 from Amazon »

I only need 1 trick to walk naked without anyone seeing me, and I've had it for a long time: I just close my eyes. If I can't see them, they can't see me...

Borrow My Pen Subversive Pen Set

$5.42 from Amazon »

What's that? Can you borrow my pen? You too? You need one? And you? Well. I don't usually do this, but I'm feeling very Oprah today, so...here you go. You get a pen, and you get a pen, and you get a pen, and...oh, I know...

Exercise Block

$10.99 from Amazon »

Stop putting off exercise until tomorrow and dreading going to the gym at lunch. Just get off your ass and walk around the block...twice...now. Trust me, it will be done before you know it...

Offensive Crayons

If your favorite pastime is being offended, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons. And even if you're open to the politically incorrect, unless you're Daniel Tosh politically incorrect, you might wince at...

Flying Pig with Flapping Wings

Sold Out from Amazon »

This is not a real flying pig. But enough things are happening these days that my grandma said would happen when pigs fly that I gotta figure there's a litter of piglets with wings out there somewhere now. And until I...

Bowling Ball Cannon

$1,245 - $1,545 from Coaches Club Cannons »

A bowling ball cannon looks like something a dude would buy in an effort to one-up (OK, seven-up) another dude who otherwise has a better car, better house, better, job, better wife...and measly little golf ball cannon...

Pickled Boobies & Butts Jars

$7.65 - $13.90 from Etsy »

Boobies and butts, butts and boobies! Now pickled for your gustatory pleasure!...

Cat House for Humans

According to Bibi Lab, 10.4 humans per hour Tweet, "I want to be a cat!" In response to this rampant cat envy, and also because Bibi Lab is a Japanese retailer, and this sort of thing isn't even a little weird in Japan...

Dehydrated Water

$14.99 from Amazon »

Dehydrated Water: it's just like a cup of Ramen, only without the Ramen! This can of premium water is all natural and contains no artificial colors, flavors, GMOs, antibiotics, or weird, unpronounceable ingredients. And...