Novelty

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Toddler Tamers Leashless Child Ankle Weight System

$7.48 from Amazon »

Those who balk at parents who harness and leash up their impulsive, wriggly, wandering toddlers, here ya go. Toddler Tamers eliminate the dog-owner aesthetic from an otherwise really effective child minding tactic. Instead...

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Scented Croissant Stress Toy

$10.99 from Amazon »

I don't know if a memory foamy croissant that emits the scent of mankind's greatest pastry when you squeeze it is so much a stress reliever as it is a stress creator. Holidays got you frazzled with the shopping frenzy...

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Feisty Pets Santa Bear

$20.97 from Amazon »

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

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Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s...

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Jumbo Shrimp Neck Pillow

$28.99 from Amazon »

Eat shrimp: check. Sleep shrimp: check. Now. Who's gonna make a way to breathe shrimp? The Jumbo Shrimp Neck pillow, curled and cooked to orange perfection, gives shellfish lovers a welcome place to rest their weary heads...

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The Dadbag Beer Belly Fanny Pack

By: Dadbag »

The Dadbag beer belly fanny pack is right up there with the Sexy Chest Swimsuit in its ability to create a fiesta of discomfort, with a few streamers of sick fascination, before my eyes. The Baby Head Masks used to do...

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Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Earwax Candle Kit

$7.89 from Amazon »

Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...

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Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)

$12.99 from Amazon »

D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...

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Timber Rattler Scarab Back Giant Pocket Knife

$19.49 from Amazon »

Are you happy to see me, or is that just a Timber Rattler Scarab Back in your pocket? This monster of a lockback knife has an 8" stainless steel blade that folds into a grey pakkawood scaled handle. It's my #1 choice...

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Feisty Pets

$19.99 - $29.99 from Amazon »

These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...

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Be Good / Stay Evil Decision Coin

$12.69 from Amazon »

Santa, I swear, it's this coin's fault I've been naughty all year. Every time I flipped it the fates told me to "Stay Evil." Yeah, I know it's almost statistically impossible to get the "Stay Evil" side up repeatedly...

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Executive Drop Mic

$24.99 from Amazon »

Doooshhh! The sound of a mic drop. Or rather, the sound you make with your mouth when you mime a mic drop. Or maybe, the sound a mic makes when you do an actual mic drop, followed immediately by D'oh!, the sound you make...

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The Moon Ring

$18.95 from Amazon »

Did I say the Scary Intruder prop was a good way to find out how hard and fast my girlfriend punches? Well. That's because I hadn't see The Moon Ring yet. I feel like this prank's tagline should be: "Give her The Moon...

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Prank Star Poo Dough

$25 from Amazon »

It's even more gratifying when you make it yourself! Poo Dough is an easy DIY prank that looks and, depending on what one might have eaten last night, feels almost exactly like the real thing! Spray some patchouli on...

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Snore Stopper ZZZZZZ Boxing Glove Stick

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The Snore Stopper ZZZZZZ Boxing Glove Stick is for all the kind wives who get their husbands a gift for Father's Day. It goes over especially well not as a gift for him to open, but as a surprise gift for him to discover...

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Do Your Park Magnets

$12 from Amazon »

We've seen the mostly innocuous You Suck at Parking business cards. And also the more permanent, and thereby more controversial, I Park Like an Idiot bumper stickers. Here we have a midpoint between the two: a-hole parking...

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The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory

$39.99 from Tac Sac »

Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...

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Giant Microbes Heart Burned Gift Box

$19.95 from Amazon »

Happy Red Tuesday all you dudes and ladies out there prepping to give your significant other the ax tonight. Yes, it's true. The Tuesday before Valentine's Day is the busiest break-up day of the year. It's the last possible...

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Trinitite Specimen

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You can cook up Trinitite only in a nuclear kitchen. The material comes from the US' nuclear test blast of the Trinity Bomb in New Mexico on July 16, 1945. It was Dr. Frankensteined when the intense heat of the explosion...

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Cheat Sheet for Men

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No, dudes, the Cheat Sheet is not a wallet-sized card designed for recording all of your transgressions (though that probably exists somewhere out there too). In fact, it's almost the opposite: a wallet-sized card for...

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Oda Nobunaga Samurai Scissors

Don't bring scissors to a sword fight. Unless! Unless those scissors are katana-bladed samurai scissors! This pair of Oda Nobunaga Scissors by Nikken Cutlery have been designed in the likeness of powerful Japanese warlord...

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Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp

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Have you been searching for the perfect blueprint light? Me too. And wow. This 16-color LED desk lamp went with the Millennium Falcon as its subject! I thought I was going to be stuck with, like, the White House or some...