Novelty

Social Distancing Zapper

What's the buzz? Yer keister, mister, when I Social Distancing Zapper ya for encroaching into my 6 feet of personal space!...

Taco Holder Butt Plug

$25 - $45 from Etsy »

Grab a Taco Holder Butt Plug and run for the b...ack door. I should be all Borat "I excite! I excite!" about Etsy shop Glow F**k Yourself's fetish toys - sex and tacos might be my two favorite things on Earth. But somehow...

Potato Parcel - Your Face on a Real Potato

$18.99 from Amazon »

Never thought you bore much of a resemblance to Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head, eh? Well. Just wait 'til you see your head on a potato. Potato Parcel is a potato printing press that customizes spuds with the photos and images...

U Stink Skunk Last Place Trophy

$14.99 from Amazon »

When even a skunk says, "U stink!" you know you're a loser. But don't worry, there's a trophy for that. A Last Place Trophy with a special spot for custom engraving your name, or the thing you suck more at than everyone...

Office Possum

$23.95 from Amazon »

Waka, waka, waka, it's the old possum in the office trash can surprise! You know, the classic Office Possum prank. The practical joke of the...yeah, OK, the practical joke of the nothing. Hiding a possum in your co-worker's...

Real Miniature Steel Sword

$25 from Etsy »

This steel sword may be forged in miniature, but it's still honed to a super sharp edge, and eager to be wielded during all the little battles you'll fight in your life. Loose threads. Plastic clamshell packaging. That...

3D Printed Dickasaurus (NSFW)

$10 - $16 from Etsy »

Sex toy, trophy for a dude who's a real T-Rex in the bedroom, (literal) gag gift, the 3D Printed Dickasaurus will serve you well as any of these. But me, I bought a 3D Printed Dickasaurus to leave anonymously for my boss...

Jar of F*cks Gift Jar

$24.99 from Etsy »

I don't give a f*ck about you...I give a whole jar of f*cks about you! Ha! What an unexpected linguistic turnaround! Not to mention the perfect gift for the girlfriend or wife who loves wordplay. And f*cks...

Artistic Slimez Scented Slime

$9 - $10.50 from Amazon »

Slime in patio fungus, rotting produce, and nose forms: OMG gross. Slime in whimsical colors, made from hygienic ingredients boxed up for kiddos to play with: fun; funky; and tactilely stimulating. Artistic Slimez crafted...

Texas Toothpick

$12.08 from Amazon »

Texas Toothpick is a euphemism for this 2-pronged S-curve's true nature and intent. I almost selected it as the next edition of What Is This Thing? but decided its application isn't discrete or practical enough to make...

Road Rage Restrictor

What?! Road Rage Restrictor? Middle finger on lockdown? Well, more like Pointer, Ring Finger, and Pinky on lockup. But, but, why? One of the only redeeming qualities of driving today is being able to flip off other drivers...

No.2 ASSence Prank Perfume

$15.95 from Amazon »

Eau de toilette meets eau de toilet with No. 2 ASSence, The Fragrance. It's a prank perfume not only in name and packaging, but also, uh on the nose, with a scent seller Gagster describes as "a fart, the smell of a skunk...

Hot Head Candles

No one can say these famous (and infamous) politicians and world leaders (plus Albert Einstein) aren't hot heads when they have Hot Head Candle wicks sticking out of their heads...

Cock Breath Mints

$5.99 from Amazon »

Cock breath is alright, but I think I prefer dick breath. As an insult, I mean. Obviously...

For Rectal Use Only Stickers

$8.50 from Amazon »

Celebrate Hump Day with a fat roll of "For Rectal Use Only" Stickers! At first I wasn't sure if this 500-strong cylinder of instructional labels was a legit medical supply, or intended for the pranks I'll certainly be...

Shut The Fucupcakes Wipes

$7.99 from Amazon »

What the fucupcakes did I just get all over my hands? Is this batter? Mud my wife's cousin's dog tracked into the kitchen? POO my wife's cousin's kid shat in the kitchen?!...

The Frustration Box

$17.99 - $21.98 from Pranks Anonymous »

Frustration-free packaging? Psshh. Not a chance when I need to send an anonymous little something to the dude who acts like our office is his personal Amazon Locker. The Frustration Box from Pranks Anonymous requires...

Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts

$69.69 - $10k from Testicuzzi »

Sadly - or maybe thankfully? - there are no photos of the Testicuzzi in action. At least not any this jacuzzi for the nuts' makers have published publicly. But one look at the empty hot tub - its contoured rim, its dual...

World Champion D*ck Trophy

$6.99 from Amazon »

If you've already awarded someone the Golden Douchebag Trophy, here's a World Champion Dick Trophy to hand out to the second (or newest) biggest jerk you know...

Cell Phone Jail

Sold Out from Amazon »

It's a cell for your cell. Or, more likely, this mobile phone jail will be where your kids' phones serve time when you decide they need to break and reenter the physical world, or when they smart off, sneak out, or turn...

Pecker Pillows

$9.99 - $28.99 from Amazon »

Looking for ways to get a head? Pecker pillows, adorable plushes made to look like the heads of penises, can get you more than a head. They can get you a lot of head...

Finger Breakdancing Kit

$9.95 from Amazon »

Get fit in 2019 with Finger Breakdancing. They say it's easy on the joints, fun for the whole family, and requires coordination only from the knuckles down. Bust out the cardboard - oh, wait, it's included in the Finger...

While You Were Out Cold Notes

$5.56 from Amazon »

I don't really need While You Were Out Cold Notes to stick on my friend Cornelius when he passes out drunk. It's pretty clear what happened without a written explanation. At least as soon as he tries to stand up and finds...

The NoPhone Air

$6.99 from Amazon »

The NoPhone Air is this season's premier smartphone for anyone perpetually glued to their screen. You know, people who only look up 2 or 3 times a day, and then always seem surprised to see that humans and animals exist...