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3 Crying Unicorn Candle
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Crying Unicorn Candle

$24.79 from Firebox.com »

Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?...

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Safe-T Designer Fire Extinguishers

$99 - $199 from Safe-T »

Even fire extinguishers have succumbed to the pressure of making every piece of crap I own stylized, customized, and personalized so that it's uniquely representative of ME! Saving lives and avoiding burning down my girlfriend's...

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$65 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Urchin Bean Bag Chair

$19,500 from Blackman Cruz »

The Urchin Bean Bag Chair. Just in case your BDSM bordello is missing a touch of magic from the sea. Designed by Ursula Blackman Cruz, this leather-upholstered lounger is certainly a standout in home decor. Some might...

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Ghostbusters Ghost Trap Wall Hooks

Gotta hang that Venkman jacket somewhere. The Ghostbusters Ghost Trap Wall Hooks store your coats and, check out the GIF, contain your keys so they don't wreak havoc on your

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June Intelligent Oven

$1,495 from Amazon »

The June Intelligent Oven is the Oprah of skills: now YOU'RE a good cook...and YOU'RE a good cook...and YOU'RE a good cook! Yes, that's right, without training, practice, or talent June will make everyone think you're...

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Bish's Tear Mender Fabric & Leather Adhesive

$5.48 - $18.11 from Amazon »

Question, Mr. Bish: does your Tear Mender adhesive work on all areas of fabric and leather textiles? Like say, for example, on the crotch of a pair of black leather pants that might have gotten ripped during an 80s theme...

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Nuni Tortilla Toaster

$79.99 from Nuni »

I don't care how much I don't need a Nuni Tortilla Toaster, I need a Nuni Tortilla Toaster. Uno of all, tacos are the most delectable dish a human mind has ever conceived. Dos of all, when it's pissing rain outside, they...

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Magna Cart Folding Hand Truck

$31.22 from Amazon »

I've used the Magna Cart to haul everything from my beer-filled cooler and portable grill, to giant boxes of old books the used book shop told me they didn't want either, to my girlfriend's fiddle leaf fig tree. Five...

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Flameless Arc Lighter for Candles & BBQs

$19.97 from Amazon »

Like the slide, this flameless arc lighter is electric, so you can boogie-woogie-woogie through wind and rain, and without filling and refilling it with gas fluid. The long handle provides easier and safer access to hot...

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Lekue Silicone Bagel Mold

$20 from Amazon »

I! Love! Bagels! Ilovebagels. And I'm not even related to Oprah. But once Oprah sees this bagel mold I'm about to get from Lekue I bet she'll want to come over to boil bagels and schmear 'em up with me like we're cousins...

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Felt Stone Area Rugs

$135.87 - $2,119.57 from Etsy »

These felt stone area rugs and mats are an optical illusion! They look like a path of hard, smooth rocks, but are actually ultra-soft, textured rounds of merino sheep and llama wool. Oh man, now I'm torn. Should I put...

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Butter Savers

$13.01 - $13.66 from Amazon »

My girlfriend loves it when I slice off a hunk of butter and then just kind of slap whatever wrapper remnants the knife didn't cut off back over the exposed end before putting the stick back in the fridge. The next time...

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Mixologist's Bubble Cocktail Glass

Sold Out from Amazon »

Bubble Cocktail glasses are invertible domes of drinkware, transparent globes you can fill with your favorite tinctures and accents, and then flip upside down to balance and present on their silicone stoppers. Why? Because...

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Vacuum Cleaner Mini Attachment Kit

$12.99 from Amazon »

Think of a mini attachment kit for your existing vacuum as a more dynamic, more effective, and way, way more adorable way to clean out the crevices of your computer keyboard, electronics, and car consoles than compressed...

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WETNFIX Wall Plug Securers

$9.49 from Amazon »

WETNFIX gets it: sometimes you just need a little boost, get a little bigger to keep it from falling out of, or getting swallowed inside, the hole. Because the hole itself, that's already there. And whether it's just...

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Darth Vader Grinder

$18.61 from Amazon »

Who'd-a thought Darth Vader could grind? It looks like the Dark Lord has added pulverizing your favorite herbs and spices with an Exorcist-caliber 360-degree spin of his head to existing his repertoire of menacing, saber...

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My Paint Saint Touchup Kit

$14.99 from Amazon »

Yes, as you can see, My Paint Saint stores your cans of touchup paint together with their brushes for quick grabbing and instant touching upping. But the even better part of that visual: storing your cans of touchup paint...

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Mason Jar Storage Racks

$22 from Amazon »

The best gifts I ever get are the ones I can eat, and especially the ones I can eat that come in a mason jar. Jam. Pickles. Moonshine. I even like beets. Oh, and dude, a lady from my office building gave me a mason jar...

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Revolution Sideways Wine Glasses

$59 from GNR 8 »

What's nice about the Revolution wine glass being turned on its side is that it makes it easy for someone else to hold the stem and feed me more wine, or whiskey, when I'm too incapacitated to do it myself. Oh no wait...

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Bam Vino Wine & Liquor Bottle Holders

$29.97 - $73.09 from Amazon »

Even if your Bam Vino is wearing the cap of your favorite MLB team, it's OK to pray for a swing and a miss when the bat's your $300 bottle of Richebourg Grand Cru. Or, if you're not into wine, this baseball player bust...

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Tabletop Fireplace

$69.99 from Amazon »

Complement those lazy, hazy, crazy...miserable, cold-ass days of winter with a Vigo tabletop fireplace. The piece's dual stainless steel burners run on Moda Flame ventless ethanol fuel, so no electricity, gas, chimney...

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Grubbin' on the Couch Bowls

It's time for a tactical chowdown. No Netflix marathon is complete without a parade of snacks on the coffee table, and every parade marches better with a bowl of Froot Loops as its grand marshal. Frosted Flakes if you...

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Boa Sofa

$38,855 - $62,164 from Switch Modern »

And you thought you'd never find the perfect gift for Medusa and Voldemort. The Boa Sofa was designed by brothers Fernando and Humberto Campana, and I just wonder what this snaky, sultry joint venture says about their...

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The Stuff Stopper Under-Fridge Bumper

$12.99 - $24.99 from The Stuff Stopper »

The Stuff Stopper stops dropped fish eyes, spilt civet poop coffee beans, and that edible dehydrated zebra tarantula that wasn't quite fully dehydrated from scurrying into the abyss beneath your fridge. Install the extendable...

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The Wheel Pull Down Kitchen Faucet

Displease the Captain and he'll throw you overboard squirt you in the kisser with the sprayer of his Wheel Pull Down Kitchen Faucet. Maker Waterstone took its inspiration for this standout fixture from the (super rad)...

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Everest Whiskey Decanter Set

$199 from Amazon »

Need a gift for a man? Even if he doesn't drink whiskey--hell, even if he drinks only Kool-Aid--I think Ashcroft's 5-piece set of Everest glasses and decanter is a jaw-dropper for display. The liquid amber of an 18-year...

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Ruggie Floor Mat Alarm Clock

$99 from Amazon »

They say Ruggie is "LOUD." In all caps. It's the equivalent of "a blender going off in your bedroom." Also, the floor mat alarm clock must sense the pressure of your feet for at least 3 seconds before it stops its LOUD...

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JellyTank Jellyfish Aquarium

$150 - $175 from JellyTank »

If you've always wanted a sweet jellyfish aquarium, but had to concede that Beyonce was right when she kept telling you, "I don't think you're ready for this jelly," have a look at JellyTank. The forthcoming aquarium...

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Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins

$9.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Filthy Rich Cocktail Napkins are a speculative purchase. At printing they were available only for pre-order, so you're investing in the whimsical fun they'll bring to future BBQs, fried chicken dinners, and mondo Cheetos-eating...

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Kururin Japanese Desktop Toy

$12.99 from Kendama »

Tops, fidget spinners, and now the Japanese Kururin. Why is hand-eye coordination storming pop culture so hard right now? I have many gifts and endowments--huge ones!--but, as evidenced by my attempts to school my girlfriend...

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Feng Shui Desktop Gong

$12.11 from Amazon »

When they say, "Feng Shui," I bet they mean, "Ring It When You Get Laid." And I also bet a lot of us out there with roommates or coworkers who share online dating adventures could make some pretty good use out of a Ring...

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Skrub Knife Cleaner

$14.99 from Amazon »

If you're really careful you'll probably never nick...or slice clear through...your finger scrubbing your kitchen knives clean. Probably. But if you've done it before, or even felt the blade lick and the blood flow while...

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Lamp Plants

$85 - $145 from Etsy »

Where the Red Fern Glows...you'll find Mariana Folberg's Lamp Plants. The artist behind Mar de Fe designs took inspiration from the rain forest to construct a thriving pot of green-lit leaves. Add one of the lamps to...

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Bambooee Reusable & Washable Paper Towels

$10.59 from Amazon »

Let me clarify: Bambooees are not at all paper towels, they're bamboo towels. I just named them "Reusable & Washable Paper Towels" because that's how they act. Absorbing crap, cleaning crap, dusting crap, shining crap....

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3D Video Game Shadow Boxes

$35 - $74.50 from Etsy »

Glitch Artwork goes 3D geeky with cut prints and foamboard in their series of video game shadow boxes. What's your 8-bit pleasure? From Street Figher to Super Mario Bros., Pac-Man to Mega Man, these hand crafted pieces...

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Tapped Faucet Wine Aerator & Stopper

$15.96 from Amazon »

Tap that, let it breathe heavy as you pour on the good stuff, and then stop it back up. Let it rest 'til next time. Guess that's how things work in the wine world too....

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Black Tie Grinder

$50 from Amazon »

I might like to go to a Black Tie event as my gift for Valentine's Day this year after all. They got any with Girl Scout Cookies around the Northern Lights? Black Tie Grinders is an independent shop out of Ohio that feels...

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Fisher Bullet Space Pen

$16.45 - $24.76 from Amazon »

Awww, look at the olden days still stuffed all compact and neat into the barrel of a pen. Fisher's original Bullet Space Pen got its start in 1948 when Paul Fisher machined the #400 Bullet Pen from a piece of solid aluminum....

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Happycall Nonstick Double Pans

$44.99 - $68.70 from Amazon »

When it's time to flip your omelette, Happycall says, Don't flip out, dude, flip over. Their nonstick Double Pans feature FDA-approved silicone seals to reduce smell, smoke and oil splatter during use. The symmetrical...

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Charcoal Refrigerator Odor Eggs

$40.82 from Amazon »

Despite its charcoal color--and composition--this is not a bad egg. It's a good egg, a great egg, that attacks all the bad smells in your fridge. Charcoal eggs, sold here in sets of 4, slip one at a time into your refrigerator's...

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Couch Arm Table

$135 from Uncommon Goods »

Need more than a CouchCoaster? Need an entire flat tract of space mounted to the arm of your sofa for keeping drink, snack, remote, and phone all within finger's grasp? The Couch Arm Table volunteers to relieve you of...

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Family Size Hat Trick Breakfast Station

$67.48 - $77.55 from Amazon »

You've seen the hat trick of a Breakfast Station big enough for you, but here's an option big enough for your whole family....

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SnapPower Guidelight

$16.95 from Amazon »

The SnapPower Guidelight: saving half-asleep feet from always-on-point LEGOs night after night. A series of LED bulbs built into a standard outlet cover plate, the Guidelight draws power from both sides of your outlet's...

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Navage Nasal Irrigation System

$129.95 from Amazon »

If the Neti Pot sinus cleaner requires a little too much manual labor for your clogged-up head's liking, check out the Navage, a battery-operated automatic nasal irrigator. Instead of the Neti's gravity-conducted movement...

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Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator

$99 from Amazon »

Oh (face) no, the rooster's crowing (buzzing) already?! Come (yes, please) on! Do I really have to get up (off)? I hear you, ladies. It's a brutal world of mornings, alarms, and orgasms we live in. I'll keep my fingers...

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Milk & Cookie Shot Maker

$23 from Amazon »

Milk & cookies. & liquid chocolate. & shots. Maybe I'll make it through this year after all. Wait, what? I have to make it all myself? With molds and melters and ingredients from the store? Come on! I thought I could...

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Cuisinart Steam & Convection Oven

$282.56 from Amazon »

Cuisinart's Steam Oven stuffs the full functionality of a convection oven and a professional steam oven into a 15-1/2" x 18" countertop footprint. Using steam as a heating method can cut the cooking time of vegetables...