A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

Household

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Friday, October 31, 2014
$18.88 from Amazon »

Here at last to keep track of your 60-second increments of time: soapy water. Fill the Awaglass bubble timer with H2O and dish soap, shake it up, and marvel at the brilliant mind of a Japanese dude with so much time on his...

Wednesday, October 29, 2014
$32 - $125 from Lakeland »

Thomas Povey is a rocket scientist at Oxford University. But when he's not applying his thermodynamics expertise to advanced jet engines, he kicks back and thinks about how it might enable him to fry his eggs and blood sausages...

Thursday, June 26, 2014
$24.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid the Fleshlight have created and configured the LaunchPAD iPad case to work in tandem with the former so that men may seamlessly simulate sex both tactilely with a device capable of...

Tuesday, October 28, 2014
$20 - $69 from Kickstarter »

Brian Conti, also responsible for Strong Like Bull Magnets, heads toward Magnet Magnate status with his new Kickstarter project, bottleLoft. botteLoft strips are magnetic bottle holders that install on the ceiling of your...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$199.23 from Amazon »

Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found that...

Sunday, November 17, 2013
$99 - $145 from Grasshopper »

Ha! More proof that if pens wish to avoid extinction they better start bringing more to the table than a barrel full of ink! In fact, Grasshopper makes the biggest leap of all--the one I've been waiting for: it eliminates the writing function altogether! Grasshopper pens don't make to-do lists and get you high, Grasshopper pens only get you high. Because why the hell would I want the option to...

Saturday, September 24, 2011
$8.25 - $47.95 from Zazzle »

With the possible exception of the "AIDS" label that's covering half of Africa, some of these American stereotypes of the rest of world are surprisingly lacking in wickedness. I would have expected less superficial ignorance...

Monday, June 2, 2014
$5 - $100 from Galactic Cap »

"The Galactic Cap is a condom men will want to wear and their partners will love. A better alternative, it will increase condom use and promote healthier sex." Want to wear? Partners will love? Well. Considering this just-the-tip...

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Stirring scenes from American history, meet stirring scenes from American sci-fi. This set of 4 Star Wars prints from Thirteenth Floor pits some of the Empire's worst villains against some of our own greatest war heroes. Each...

Saturday, October 25, 2014
$378.08 from Amazon »

Not only is this dragon holding my beer and taquitos for me, he's kneeling in supplication while doing it! How pathetic. Come on, Puff, Jackie Paper's not coming back. It's time to start rebuilding your manhood. See if Smaug...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$120 - $490 from Tactical Walls »

Although the word "tactical" has become as overused as the word "awesome", Tactical Walls reminds us there are still times when it can be applied meaningfully and justifiably. And also awesomely. Tactical Walls are inserts...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014
$18.81 from Amazon »

UZI incorporates a few different tools into its Defender line of pens to award them the "tactical" buzzword. This version, the TACPEN6-GM has a glass breaker and handcuff key fitted to its lightweight aircraft aluminum body....

Sunday, March 23, 2014
$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee with...

Bar
Monday, October 20, 2014
$29.99 from Brookstone »

A shot in the eye. A shot in the nose. A shot in the tooth. This is precisely why I don't do Irish Car Bombs...when I'm still sober...anymore. Or why I used to not. Drop Shots though, Drop Shots are about to make a giant...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$8.25 - $47.95 from Zazzle »

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure all of these "jokes" are based on actual statistics from the US Census. The other sad thing is, I bet the 95% of us who couldn't name half of the color blocks when looking at a blank map...

Saturday, February 8, 2014
$13 from TIHK »

The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card and $13. Because that is the...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$130 - $160 from It's Alive! Designs »

Think about those nights you bolt upright in bed, heart racing, salty with cold sweat, awakened from a nightmare just before you meet your final doom. Now think about the rush of relief you feel as you take in the solitude...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds of...

Bar
Friday, September 27, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

At first I thought the Dual Beer Glass was intended for sampling two different types of beers at once, and I was like, How the dickens am I supposed to keep one from spilling all over my crotch when I'm drinking the other?...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$420 from Etsy »

This isn't the first time we've seen a sweet skull chair (nor the first time we've seen a sweet seat from Chic Sin Design). But this sweet Skull Chair is unique both in its operation and construction....

Wednesday, September 24, 2014
$4.95 from Amazon »

Now this looks like a fun project for a Wednesday night. Gather up all of the remote controls with buttons to which I must apply approximately 18 kilonewtons of force* to get to work, and fix them with some goo that looks...

Thursday, July 31, 2014
$30.10 from Amazon »

Each of these Higo no Kami knives, traditional Japanese non-locking folding blades, are handmade and imported directly from Japan. And if you don't believe me, believe the superb English translation of their product description:...

Sunday, July 6, 2014
$9,960 from Duffy London »

I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg from...

Monday, March 24, 2014
$14 - $19 from Panny »

I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a calculated...

Monday, September 29, 2014
$87.99 from Amazon »

We all know there are 2 failsafe ways to make any food taste good: 1) Add bacon; 2) Batter and deep fry. Too bad both make you tub out and smell bad. However, for those intent on eating their nightly helping of fried chicken...

Sunday, August 24, 2014
By: Kolenik

Once I'd covered fish aquarium bathroom sinks and aquaponic end tables I figured the whole fish-in-your-furniture schtick had run its course. What other piece of home decor could incorporate aquatic life without seeming like...

Sunday, July 27, 2014
$93 from ZEUSArsenal »

I received a sample of the ZEUS Thunder vaporizer pen for a state-of-matter-changing test drive. Unfortunately, it was right after my mama coerced me into signing an agreement to submit to random marijuana tests in exchange...

Friday, October 3, 2014
$44 from Missing Digit »

I think the Sparta Knife Block is even better than the Ex Knifeholder because while they are both clever ideas, the Sparta version connotes a brave and stoic warrior defending me instead of an angry and vengeful woman puncturing...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin structure...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014
$99 - $980 from Smart Wall Paint »

Smart Wall Paint is the dry erase board version of Chalkboard Wall Paint. Brush it on any smooth surface and one coat later you'll have a functional whiteboard for office, school, or home use....

Monday, February 3, 2014
$36.95 from Zazzle »

Jay Simons: student; amateur graphic designer; Slovakian; Internet cartographer. If the Web were divided into land masses, grouped along lines of latitude and meridians and flattened into a map on your desk, what would it...

Friday, September 20, 2013
$10k - $20k from Rock Paper Robot »

Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...

Monday, February 4, 2013

World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Though only a concept product--and one that debuted a few years ago--the Cloud Levitating Sofa remains maybe the coolest idea for and aesthetic execution of a couch ever. So I was thinking maybe one of you entrepreneurial...

Monday, February 10, 2014

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud designer...

Friday, September 26, 2014
$109 from Amazon »

Could your days of quarter hoarding and letting sweat-saturated clothes pile up until your entire room smells like a festering colony of bacteria because you can't do laundry until you have a full load be over? Eco-Egg says...

Thursday, September 11, 2014
$320 - $350 from indiegogo »

Having recently returned from a trip to Tornado Alley, during which I was ripped from my slumber one night and told to get the hell out of bed and down to the basement, I can sympathize with Steven Anderson's life in Joplin...

Saturday, November 23, 2013
$275 - $899 from Kult »

Holy Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite! Poison Ivy has just given radical new meaning to the term "thunder thighs." I don't know whether to stop drooling and try to voodoo her out of the print, into my living room, or surround...

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Infinite Dungeon Corridor. Enter at your own risk...and inevitable peril. Ow! I think I jammed my finger on a mirror!...

Sunday, July 22, 2012
$47.90 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its projectile...

Friday, October 3, 2014
$44 from Amazon »

A pack of Toastabags, a Quik-Serve conveyor toaster, a couple loaves of bread, a couple pounds of cheese...huh. I might not starve to death when my mama goes out of town next week after all....

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their wakeup...

Wednesday, September 17, 2014
$880 - $4,400 from Adam Frank »

Look into Adam Frank's LUCID Mirror and you'll see illuminated 3D clouds and sun rays, and maybe some other creepy CS Lewis or Mirror, Mirror Wicked Queen paranormal activity. Using a patent-pending method derived from dimensional...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
By: Harow

Another supervillain yahtzee! This black skull armchair was the one prop missing from my master plan to raise an army of babies and eliminate all cats and bike lanes from my township! The only downside is that it does not...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$20 - $50 from Society 6 »

Greg-guillemin reigns supreme: Best Paparazzo Ever. I knew Wonder Woman's rack wasn't real. But I have to say, I definitely took it for silicone over Kleenex. Her tissue-molding skills are impressive. Superheros may pick their...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$500 - $950 from Casper »

Casper believes the main selling point of their mattress is its ability to both hug and contour and resist and bounce, thereby making sex on top of it 1,000 times better. At least that's the outcome I'm hoping for. Better...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$59 - $75 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a few...

Sunday, August 3, 2014
$8 - $25 from Etsy »

Marissa Garner of Fay Productions makes all of these superhero stained glass prints with transparency paper, ink, a printer, and geek-laden love. Just tape one to a window and let the light shine in to get--Holy 50% opacity...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
$55k from hi can »

Italian in both slick aesthetics and siesta-time concept, I exaggerate not when I say the HiCan high fidelity canopy bed will persuade its occupants never to leave its ultra-modern, four-poster confines. HiCan designer Edoardo...

Thursday, June 12, 2014
$117.80 from The Fowndry »

What person on the planet...no...in galaxies both near and far, far away is not going to want a Star Wars X-wing knife block? Kids, geeks, chefs, home cooks, people who like knives, people who like food.... Admittedly, the...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$27.05 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

The problem with not filling up until your gas light comes on isn't that you're being carelessly dangerous or unwittingly living on the edge, it's that sometimes you get stuck inside ginormous gridlocked clusterclucks that...

Friday, September 6, 2013
Discontinued

Rolet (roll-ay, like Nube and ole!) is the triple barrel shotgun for pacifists. Really. It loads. It fires. It smokes. And I'd argue that using it will make you feel way better for way longer than shooting something. Though...

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE Creative...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$350 from United Nuclear »

Whoa. The Supermagnet, a 4" diameter, 2" thick neodymium disc, comes with more red alerts than a limo filled with tequila, coke, condomless hookers with herpes, and a blind chauffeur. "WARNING - VERY POWERFUL." "EXTREMELY...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
$36.99 - $59.99 from Calm the Ham »

Geez, 30 permutations of Batman's Bat-Signal from 1940 to 2012. I wish the stale logos of Ford and Chevrolet would take a page out of the progressive DC Comics' book. Maybe then I'd consider buying an American car as seriously...

Wednesday, July 30, 2014
$30,750 from MB&F »

According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet that...

Monday, July 14, 2014
$260 - $315 from Emospark »

If Her creeped you out (and let's face it, just looking at Joaquin Phoenix for more than 30 seconds straight can sometimes do the trick) get ready to have your stomach turned inside out again: EmoSpark, an Android-powered...

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$20 from Amazon »

The Add-A-Lock does one better than the portable intruder alarm: it won't just alert you when your one night stand tries to sneak back into your bedroom to sucker you into a committed, long-term relationship during which she...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$97.29 - $138.90 from Amazon »

One time for Christmas I got my grandma a nylon reusable garbage bag to hang off one of her front car seats and my brother laughed at me like it was the worst gift a grandmother could ever receive. But I only got it because...

Bar
Friday, September 5, 2014

Here's a bar cart inspired by a 1920s light bulb voltage tester salvaged from a German factory. Because, why not? Steampunk is in. Light bulbs are a strangely hot topic these days. Giant, 265-pound iron orbs are always popular....

Tuesday, August 19, 2014
$19.99 - $24.99 from Design Different »

When they strike, the zombies will go for the masses. So those of us living in major US cities have 2 choices: be afraid; or be prepared. Since Ryan McArthur of Design Different, unlike the evening news, isn't into fear mongering...

Sunday, August 12, 2012
By: Moto Art

Oh boy. The magic of the sky meets the magic of where the magic happens. MotoArt, a group of daring-with-a-touch-of-devious mile-high artists, recycles old jet parts into exclusive, flashy pieces of furniture and home decor....

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$6.19 - $7.69 from Amazon »

Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This double...

Thursday, May 22, 2014
$259.99 from Amazon »

Ever heard anyone say, It's not the dress, it's the girl in the dress? I feel the same basically goes for showers--it's not the shower, it's the girl in the shower--only with a few exceptions. Like AKDY's shower panel, which...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

I'm trying to think of a way to spin the Chemist's Spice Rack into something besides the perfect gift for a complete culinary geek, but...donut hole. Then again, as evidenced by the comments on ThinkGeek's listing of the kitchen...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

Sure the Privacy Pillow can store your cash, jewelry, passports, and mint condition first edition Star Wars action figures. Orrrr it can store other types of valuables. Types of which you may find yourself in sudden and instant...

Friday, September 12, 2014
$44.99 from Amazon »

Re-soldering the backyard gutters and then lighting up the sugar on a creme brulee until it melts into a delectably crisp shell. That's the kind of stuff around the house I really enjoy...having my mama do. And now with Dremel's...