A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear, Novelties and Zombies    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Multi-Position Pillow
$99.95 from Amazon »

When I think of a multi-position pillow, I don't necessarily think of sleeping better...or, ahem, sleeping at all...but if this Better Sleep head rest can do as it claims, and prevent my awaking from an otherwise pleasant...

Monday, June 17, 2013
Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures
$199 - $499 from Ferrite »

In researching all of the uses for Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures, I found myself continuously returning to one standout: time waster. The hypnotizing borosilicate glass vials filled with mutable elemental amoebas will...

Saturday, September 24, 2011
The World According To Americans
$25.95 from Zazzle »

With the possible exception of the "AIDS" label that's covering half of Africa, some of these American stereotypes of the rest of world are surprisingly lacking in wickedness. I would have expected less superficial ignorance, and more low blows from the country that claims to be the best at everything. I mean, even my grandma had an arsenal of colorful words to describe Japan, and all of them were...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
Nitinol Shape Memory Paper Clip
$14.08 from Grand Illusions »

Nitinol. It's kind of like Rain Main. Has an infallible memory and a habitual state to which it always returns precisely and without fail, but...it doesn't deal with deviations from what it knows very well. Also, it is an...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
Mainland USA, According to Common Sense
$24.65 from Zazzle »

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure all of these "jokes" are based on actual statistics from the US Census. The other sad thing is, I bet the 95% of us who couldn't name half of the color blocks when looking at a blank map...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
Zombie Apocalypse Bedding
Discontinued

Think about those nights you bolt upright in bed, heart racing, salty with cold sweat, awakened from a nightmare just before you meet your final doom. Now think about the rush of relief you feel as you take in the solitude of your cozy bedroom, the cushy support of your TempurPedic mattress, and the comfy envelopment of your goose down pillows. Lame, right? You don't want to feel peace, you want...

Saturday, June 08, 2013
SONTE Window Film - App-Controlled Shades
$184 - $374 from Kickstarter »

Wi-Fi enabled digital shades that apply to glass surfaces as a 0.4mm thick film, and turn from clear to opaque in a single second at the touch of a button. I'm not easily impressed by things that aren't edible or boobies...

Friday, April 26, 2013
The Fat Magnet
$10.30 from Amazon »

I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the ass...

Monday, February 04, 2013
Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table
$50,000 - $70,000 from Fletcher Burwell-Taylor Ltd. »

World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Into the Woods Projection Light

Due to its being dramatic and showstopping and incredibly F'ing rad, Hilden & Diaz's Forms in Nature forest projection light sculpture has earned viral popularity this week. To the point that the artists are planning a Kickstarter...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Washmate Portable Bidet in a Bottle
$14.90 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Portal Couch
$2,500 from Etsy »

One thing I do every night is fall asleep on my couch watching TV. Usually I wake up around 1:30 a.m. and consider the option of relocating to my bed, but I think the last time I actually did this was November of 2010. However...

Monday, August 22, 2011
$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat
$20,000 from Lifestyle Pets »

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds of...

Monday, June 10, 2013
Phosforce Laser Flashlight Adapter
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
The Secret Lives of Superheroes Prints
$20 - $50 from Society 6 »

Greg-guillemin reigns supreme: Best Paparazzo Ever. I knew Wonder Woman's rack wasn't real. But I have to say, I definitely took it for silicone over Kleenex. Her tissue-molding skills are impressive. Superheros may pick their...

Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Firefly Blue Laser Lamp
$49 - $70 from Kickstarter »

I grew up with fireflies. And by that I mean I grew up squashing them and rubbing their bioluminescence on my arms and legs so I too could glow like a superhero or anomaly of evolution. I never saw any blue ones though, so...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Evolution of the Bat-Signal Poster
$36.99 - $59.99 from Calm the Ham »

Geez, 30 permutations of Batman's Bat-Signal from 1940 to 2012. I wish the stale logos of Ford and Chevrolet would take a page out of the progressive DC Comics' book. Maybe then I'd consider buying an American car as seriously...

Monday, March 25, 2013
Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers
$12.55 from Amazon »

At printing, Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers had 14 reviews on Amazon, and every single one of them contained both a serious critical analysis of the product's smell-quelling efficacy, and an insightful comment about...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
HiCan - The Never Leave Your Bed Bed
$55,000 from hi can »

Italian in both slick aesthetics and siesta-time concept, I exaggerate not when I say the HiCan high fidelity canopy bed will persuade its occupants never to leave its ultra-modern, four-poster confines. HiCan designer Edoardo...

Tuesday, April 09, 2013
The Ham Dogger
$11.14 from Amazon »

My friend Dominic is an electrical engineer who used to work for this company developing a chip to implant in the brains of epileptics that would help predict when they were going to have seizures, and if I had one of those...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
Cole-Bar Multi-Functional Hammer
$65 - $85 from Kickstarter »

Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...

Friday, June 14, 2013
PowerChef Tabletop Grill
Sold Out from Amazon »

This electric grill sits on the tabletop. Which means it is going to reduce the amount of time it takes for babyback ribs brushed with KC Masterpiece and teriyaki shrimp kebabs to transfer from its cooking surface to my mouth....

Friday, May 17, 2013
Weener Kleener Soap
$4.05 from Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used to...

Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Han Solo in Carbonite Switch Plate
Sold Out from Etsy »

Uh, this one's for the ladies? When the toggle on the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate is turned on, there will be no doubt Han Solo in Carbonite is turned on. I'm not sure how men--even the most devoted of Star Wars fans--will...

Monday, March 12, 2012
Acid Trip Pillow
$20.98 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

Thursday, March 07, 2013
Breakfast Sandwich Maestro
$24 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their wakeup...

Monday, May 20, 2013
TARDIS Fridge Skin Kit
$185 from Glass Sculpture »

Yikes, $185 for the TARDIS fridge skin kit. But it's customized to fit your specific cooler's make and model, so at least you know it will look as sick in your own kitchen as it does in the one in the photo. And if any purchase...

Friday, June 07, 2013
C U Next Tuesday Mug
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Sunday, July 22, 2012
Bug-A-Salt Exterminating Shotgun
$34.95 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its projectile...

Monday, March 05, 2012
The Bird's Nest Bed

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE architects...

Saturday, January 26, 2013
SelectaDNA Human Marking & Tracking Guns

Genetics always triumph in the end. In the case of the SelectaDNA High Velocity DNA Tagging System, pellet-sized building blocks of life fire from either a pistol or a rifle at a target up to 100 to 130 feet away--typically...

Saturday, March 16, 2013
Instant Home Marijuana Test Kit
$7.83 from Amazon »

My company doesn't do drug testing because it recognizes that recreational weed use has far less of an impact on an employee's ability to perform well at work than, say, the office kegerator that gets tapped every Friday....

Saturday, May 18, 2013
Desktop Saltwater Aquarium
$210 - $395 from Kickstarter »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Monday, June 03, 2013
Slice a Recipe Cookbook to Improve Knife Skills
By: Behance

One of the first things you learn at Carulla Cooking School in Bogota, Colombia is how to use a knife. That's after you learn one of the first things you learn in Bogota, Colombia, which is how to use a gun (and where to buy...

Monday, January 21, 2013
Square Beam HD Flashlight
$62 from Amazon »

Hey kids, not only will Bushnell's Torch flashlight illuminate the bogeyman and monsters under your bed, its blast of a 165-lumen, perfectly square HD beam of light will probably blind them long enough for you to grab your...

Monday, August 27, 2012
Cloud Levitating Sofa

Though only a concept product--and one that debuted a few years ago--the Cloud Levitating Sofa remains maybe the coolest idea for and aesthetic execution of a couch ever. So I was thinking maybe one of you entrepreneurial...

Sunday, April 08, 2012
Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table
$3,700 from Etsy »

What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...