Household

Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

$25 - $199 from Etsy »

Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos...

Nike Shoebox Safe

Swoosh your stash so sticky fingers won't swipe it. Except...bummer. The Mandem Safe, a keyed crypt for your valuables that looks like a Nike shoebox, is still just a prototype. So even harder to get right now than a...

Kyle's Kinetics Handmade Balancing Sculptures

$49.99 - $299 from Kyle's Kinetics »

Is your life out of balance? Could you use some inspiration? Are you just sick of Carson in the desk next door getting all the stop-bys and giggles from the ladies because he has the cool desktop toys? Kyle and his Kinetics...

Black & Decker Matrix 6-Tool Combo Kit

$191.58 from Amazon »

Black & Decker's Matrix Quick Connect System is a multi-tool for dudes who don't mess around. This is no nail file-bottle-opener-mini-scissor-flashlight combo you can slip into your pocket. This is a Suitcase of Power...

Pokemon Pokeball Herb Grinder

$20.19 from Amazon »

Time to grind me some Pokemon! What, no? That's not how the game works? Then what am I supposed to do with this Pokeball Grinder?...

Levitating CUP Zero Gravity Drinkware

$139 - $249 from Levitating CUP »

We've seen levitation around here before. A lot. In speakers. In lamps. In freakin' bonsai trees. But the Levitating CUP still makes me Ooooh and Ahhhh because, well, it contains alcohol. In a dazzling an

Daily Product Updates In Your Inbox

Star Wars Lightsaber Wall Hooks

$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

Here's your chance to turn some Jedi-in-training's lightsaber fail into a snazzy storage solution for your home. Hang your bag, your umbrella, and your Chewbacca bathrobe from this pair of Vader and Luke Lightsaber Wall...

ACME Crates

$150 - $495 from Acme »

I know ACME Crates look like ammo cans filled with manly items of EDC and EDB (Everyday Battle!) but what they really are is...no, wait. That's exactly what they are. ACME Crates are curated collections of tools you might...

Sunmile Electric Meat Grinder

$79.99 from Amazon »

Of the Sunmile Electric Meat Grinder, Amazon's top positive reviewer says, "At this price point it is suited for the weekend gourmand who wants a proper tasting burger." And I think that's about all we need to know....

LampChamp USB Lamp Socket Charger

$29.99 from Amazon »

I couldn't figure out at first what was drawing me to the LampChamp. Sure, it's a light bulb adapter that adds a USB charging port, plus an On/Off switch, to any lamp you've got. And I also got the scoop that LampChamp...

Dragon's Blood Medicinal Tree Sap

$10.95 from Amazon »

The Croton lechleri bleeds to save you from cuts, bacteria, acne, wrinkles, and receding gums. At least if you believe the loooong list of indications that come with each bottle of Dragon's Blood. Dragon's Blood is a...

Dual Head Car Fan

$50 from Amazon »

Yeah, yeah, I know most cars have air conditioning now. The 2-headed car fan isn't meant to be a substitute for AC, but an accessory to it. An extra set of blades that will help blow hot air out of your parked car fast...

Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine

Dyson keeps your life clean, cool, and now--if Jaehyo Lee's concept for a coffee maker comes to percolation--caffeinated. The Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine repurposes the technology of Dyson's vacuum cleaners and...

Jack Rack Guitar Amp Key Holders

$34.99 - $39.99 from Pluginz Keychains »

Rock out with your...keys and fobs secured safely in a Jack Rack so you don't lose or impale yourself with them. A bangin' nod to the guitar amp, Jack Racks are mountable keychain holders with real 1/4" musical input...

Chia Trump

$19.99 from Amazon »

You can also get a Chia Hillary Clinton, but I think that one looks more like Benjamin Franklin wearing a necklace....

Zapplight Bulb & Bug Zapper

$49 from Amazon »

Let there be...BZZZZ! Dead mosquitos! Haha, suckers. You biting, blood-sucking, skin-disfiguring, Zika-transmitting SOBs. Fly into my pretty, pretty light. Because now the one that illuminates my back porch, my books...

Polaroid Camera Toilet Paper Holder

$19.99 from Amazon »

Amateur photographers, nostalgic Baby Boomers, lovers of the vintage, what better way to pay tribute to the pioneering Polaroid camera than a Polaroll for your tootsie rolls? The retro toilet paper holder even comes with...

Baby Foot Human Molting Peel

$16.44 from Amazon »

I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake...

Tri-Blade Vegetable Spiral Slicer

$29.89 from Amazon »

Freshly shredded, vitamin C-packed cabbage. Potassium-rich, low-carb zucchini noodles. Byoootiful seasonal ribbons of persimmon to go alongside your glazed duck breast. And...mmmmm...triple fried curly fries....

Clever Kebab Maker

$31.59 from Amazon »

Piled, skewered, sliced. Kebabs are livin' the fast life with this lickety split 6-in-1 assembly line (assembly stack?)...

United Scientific Density Cube Set

$26.23 from Amazon »

The United Scientific Density Cube Set is for when you're tired of slingshotting marshmallows with your Mallow Bow. Just kidding. It's for scientific experiments. Like...oh! I have an idea for one: which is the lowest...

Six Shooter Smoking Pipe & Grinder

$9.90 from Amazon »

Lock, stock, and a smoking barrel. I'm all in. This rotating six shooter pipe comes with both an herb grinder and a pollen and storage can. You can keep it on display in your recreational activity room and use it to smoke...

Rock'n'Roller Multicarts

$69 - $299.99 from Amazon »

Even though the name is cheesy, there's really no better way to describe these 8-in-1 multi-carts than Rock'n'Roller. Whether you're moving luggage, sound equipment, a new refrigerator, or all of your personal belongings...

Paco's Taco Stroker

$12.20 from Amazon »

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

Vornado VFAN Jr. Vintage Air Circulator

$59.99 - $84.99 from Amazon »

Yep, in case you're wondering, there's a VFAN Sr. too. And both of them are blow hards. Like father, like son....

Readyman Hostage Escape Credit Card

$12.95 from Amazon »

This is all of course presuming you get to keep your wallet after you've been taken hostage. And that you can maneuver your cuffed, roped, or zip-tied hands inside it to grab Readyman's credit card of escape tools. Oh...

Dino Bioluminescent Plankton Sphere

$59 from Amazon »

If you're too mature to display BioPop's Dino Pet on your desk...or just frustrated that your kids keep stealing it...here's a more sophisticated objet d'art containing the same glowing blue dinoflagellates. If you haven't...

Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.99 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

The Eve Mattress

$549 - $999 from Amazon »

Neither a mail-order mattress, nor a mattress-in-a-box, nor a relatively cheap mattress sounds like it would pair well with a good night's sleep. Still, the makers of Eve promise their 3-layer technology will deliver...

3D Door Wraps

$39.95 from Amazon »

What's behind Door #3? Who cares? I'm more interested in the gateway to Renaissance Italy that's in front of it. You can keep your endless cascade of entryways over rickety wood floors though, Windowpix. That American...

Pop-Up Kitchen & Desktop Outlets

$38.50 from Amazon »

So rarely when I have a problem--say, needing an extra electrical outlet--does the solution just pop up out of nowhere. But oh boy could I make that happen all the time with this set of countertop-embedded sockets....

Motorcycle Chain Ashtray

$7.02 from Amazon »

For those who still haven't secured a Father's Day Gift yet, this Motorcycle Chain Ashtray and Amazon Prime shipping could be the last lifeline between you and having to leave the house and go to a store in person to...

Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

The Duchess Gaming & Dining Table

Playing board games and sharing a meal seem like two of the very few activities people of all ages still like to do that involve, real, face-to-face, technology-free human interaction*. And BoardGameTables.com is doing...

Bloody Mary Diagram Glassware

Alyson Thomas is an artist. But she used to be an attorney. So presumably she knows the value of a good, stiff drink made right. Her Bloody Mary Diagram glasses give a shoutout to all of you who worked (i.e., partied)...

Ground Meat Chopper

$11.97 from Amazon »

Since any idiot can cook ground beef crumbles on the stovetop, my girlfriend often makes me do it when she's making chili or bolognaise sauce. And then goes all Meat Chunk Police on me, tossing out comments about how...

Stone Forest Natural Bathtub

Stone Forest calls their bathtub "Natural" for its raw design, a rugged just-rolled-down-the-mountain aesthetic, rather than the precision-cut and polished-to-cold-industrial-modernity one we might expect from this type...

Real Partial T-Rex Skeleton

$2.39 million from Theropoda »

Meet Roosevelt. Your new pet T-Rex. Sure, he passed away a little while ago, and his remains have kinda been Frankensteined together from 3 different specimens, and his skeleton and skull are still only about 45% complete--oh...

FoldiMate Robotic Laundry Folder

$700 - $850 from FoldiMate »

Really? Really?! Am I so lazy that I'm willing to spend $800 on a machine that will fold my laundry? Pssshhh! I don't think so....

Automatic Toothpaste Dispenser & Holder

$9.99 from Amazon »

It's not that I'm lazy (well, I am, but that's not why I want an automatic toothpaste dispenser) it's that no matter how diligent I am my toothpaste always devolves into a lumpy tube of wasted product with nasty, gummy...

Meat Shredding Claws

$14.95 from Amazon »

Second only to my teeth--and probably preferred by the other people at the BBQ--these Claws from OXO shred meat with quickness, efficiency, and panache. Well, as much panache as a eagle's talons or a coupla garden rakes...

Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$97 - $108 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

The Fortress Luxury Safe

$128,800 from Doettling »

I sure hope German safe manufacturer Doettling's Fortress lives up to its "safest luxury safe in the world" claims because there's no way any owner of one is going to be able to keep it hidden, discreet, or installed...

A Hole Paperweight

Happy Father's Day, old man. Remember all those times you told me how when you found out Mom was pregnant with me you said you needed another kid like you needed a hole in the head? And then after I was born, and as I...

Q*Bert Desk Organizer

Oh @!#?@! Where'd I put my pen? Did I lose those scissors again? Dave Delisle, whose THOR Hammer Tool Kit you just saw here, has also birthed this Q*Bert Desk Organizer brainchild....

BloodStop Hemostatic Gauze

$16.99 from Amazon »

"I dare you." "Hey dude, watch this." "Wanna try to make some money on YouTube?" These are just a few of the calling cards leading to one's introduction to BloodStop, a hemostatic gauze that adheres to spewing wounds...

Indoor/Outdoor Wi-Fi Enabled Ceiling Fan

$475 from Amazon »

A heavy breeze with a side of efficiency. The Haiku L Series ceiling fan suits seekers of airflow indoors and out, as well as both the remote control faithfuls and the app-happy who can't put their smartphones down for...