A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

Household

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Wednesday, September 17, 2014
$880 - $4,400 from Adam Frank »

Look into Adam Frank's LUCID Mirror and you'll see illuminated 3D clouds and sun rays, and maybe some other creepy CS Lewis or Mirror, Mirror Wicked Queen paranormal activity. Using a patent-pending method derived from dimensional...

Thursday, June 26, 2014
$24.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid the...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$120 - $490 from Tactical Walls »

Although the word "tactical" has become as overused as the word "awesome", Tactical Walls reminds us there are still times when it can be applied meaningfully and justifiably. And also awesomely. Tactical Walls are inserts and concealment covers designed to inconspicuously store valuables and home protection equipment in the open and at hand....

Sunday, September 14, 2014
$1,700 from Artonomos »

Confluence looks so vast. Layers of birch plywood undulating over a rich landscape of smooth canyons and swirling colors carved especially to transport your wildest dreams and...your teapot. Zoom out. A little more. Oh. It's...

Monday, June 2, 2014
$5 - $100 from Galactic Cap »

"The Galactic Cap is a condom men will want to wear and their partners will love. A better alternative, it will increase condom use and promote healthier sex." Want to wear? Partners will love? Well. Considering this just-the-tip...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$210 from Amazon »

Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found that out the hard way....

Sunday, November 17, 2013
$99 - $145 from Grasshopper »

Ha! More proof that if pens wish to avoid extinction they better start bringing more to the table than a barrel full of ink! In fact, Grasshopper makes the biggest leap of all--the one I've been waiting for: it eliminates...

Thursday, September 11, 2014
$320 - $350 from indiegogo »

Having recently returned from a trip to Tornado Alley, during which I was ripped from my slumber one night and told to get the hell out of bed and down to the basement, I can sympathize with Steven Anderson's life in Joplin...

Saturday, September 24, 2011
$8.25 - $47.95 from Zazzle »

With the possible exception of the "AIDS" label that's covering half of Africa, some of these American stereotypes of the rest of world are surprisingly lacking in wickedness. I would have expected less superficial ignorance...

Friday, September 12, 2014
$46.84 from Amazon »

Re-soldering the backyard gutters and then lighting up the sugar on a creme brulee until it melts into a delectably crisp shell. That's the kind of stuff around the house I really enjoy...having my mama do. And now with Dremel's...

Sunday, March 23, 2014
$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee with...

Sunday, August 24, 2014
By: Kolenik

Once I'd covered fish aquarium bathroom sinks and aquaponic end tables I figured the whole fish-in-your-furniture schtick had run its course. What other piece of home decor could incorporate aquatic life without seeming like...

Saturday, February 8, 2014
$13 from TIHK »

The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card and $13. Because that is the...

Bar
Friday, September 5, 2014

Here's a bar cart inspired by a 1920s light bulb voltage tester salvaged from a German factory. Because, why not? Steampunk is in. Light bulbs are a strangely hot topic these days. Giant, 265-pound iron orbs are always popular....

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
$340 - $500 from Cacoon »

Nick and Sarah, husband and wife and owners of hang-in-out LLP conceived their Cacoon hanging nests while traipsing through a Mexican jungle. They saw a colony of Weaver birds chilling in their homemade bolt-holes and (I'm...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$8.25 - $47.95 from Zazzle »

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure all of these "jokes" are based on actual statistics from the US Census. The other sad thing is, I bet the 95% of us who couldn't name half of the color blocks when looking at a blank map...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
$34.99 - $169.99 from The Amazing Jellyfish »

Sealife Creations turns deceased jellyfish--the second most common creature on earth next to insects, they say--into handmade sculpted works of art for the desktop. Most of the oval encasements range from 4" to 7" tall and...

Thursday, July 31, 2014
$30.10 from Amazon »

Each of these Higo no Kami knives, traditional Japanese non-locking folding blades, are handmade and imported directly from Japan. And if you don't believe me, believe the superb English translation of their product description:...

Sunday, July 6, 2014
$9,960 from Duffy London »

I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg from...

Sunday, July 27, 2014
$93 from ZEUSArsenal »

I received a sample of the ZEUS Thunder vaporizer pen for a state-of-matter-changing test drive. Unfortunately, it was right after my mama coerced me into signing an agreement to submit to random marijuana tests in exchange...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$130 - $160 from It's Alive! Designs »

Think about those nights you bolt upright in bed, heart racing, salty with cold sweat, awakened from a nightmare just before you meet your final doom. Now think about the rush of relief you feel as you take in the solitude...

Bar
Friday, September 27, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

At first I thought the Dual Beer Glass was intended for sampling two different types of beers at once, and I was like, How the dickens am I supposed to keep one from spilling all over my crotch when I'm drinking the other?...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds of...

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Cecilia Carey (set and costume designer) and Harry Parr ("architectural foodsmith") obviously got pregnant and high respectively and were like, "What would be the best thing ever right now?" Their conclusion, reached simultaneously:...

Monday, March 24, 2014
$14 - $19 from Panny »

I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a calculated...

Friday, August 29, 2014

Triple Aught Design's Skeleton Key is a crafty piece of EDC with a versatile anatomical structure and bones US-made of solid 6AL-4V titanium billet. Not just a multi-tool but, in its attractive and svelte package, a mini-tool...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014
$19.99 - $24.99 from Design Different »

When they strike, the zombies will go for the masses. So those of us living in major US cities have 2 choices: be afraid; or be prepared. Since Ryan McArthur of Design Different, unlike the evening news, isn't into fear mongering...

Sunday, August 3, 2014
$8 - $25 from Etsy »

Marissa Garner of Fay Productions makes all of these superhero stained glass prints with transparency paper, ink, a printer, and geek-laden love. Just tape one to a window and let the light shine in to get--Holy 50% opacity...

Monday, August 18, 2014

Game and grub. Grub and game. Thanks to Fusiontables, your mechanism for doing so is now one in the same. Designers and engineers at Belgian company Saluc have created these hybrid pool-dining tables to conserve space, appease...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$557k - $10 million from The Human Regenerator »

Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin structure...

Monday, February 3, 2014
$36.95 from Zazzle »

Jay Simons: student; amateur graphic designer; Slovakian; Internet cartographer. If the Web were divided into land masses, grouped along lines of latitude and meridians and flattened into a map on your desk, what would it...

Friday, August 22, 2014
$249.99 - $299 from Da Vinci »

Guess who got a new vaporizer. That's right. My friend Victor. Victor's favorite thing about his Da Vinci Ascent is the following statement describing it: "Provides 3 hours of vaping for loose leaf, herbs & oils." Three hours....

Friday, September 20, 2013
$10k - $20k from Rock Paper Robot »

Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...

Wednesday, July 30, 2014
$30,750 from MB&F »

According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet that...

Monday, February 10, 2014

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud designer...

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Infinite Dungeon Corridor. Enter at your own risk...and inevitable peril. Ow! I think I jammed my finger on a mirror!...

Sunday, August 3, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

Home automation, cameras that let you play with your dog while you're at work, smartphone-controlled burglar alarms...I just want something simple. Something Kevin McCallister would have put to good use in Home Alone. A FakeTV...

Monday, February 4, 2013

World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...

Thursday, August 14, 2014
$79.95 from Amazon »

My favorite part about using canned air is when whatever chemical reaction is taking place during the process makes the air's canister ice cold. After I'm done shooting all the skin debris and micro-organism poo out of my...

Monday, July 14, 2014
$260 - $315 from Emospark »

If Her creeped you out (and let's face it, just looking at Joaquin Phoenix for more than 30 seconds straight can sometimes do the trick) get ready to have your stomach turned inside out again: EmoSpark, an Android-powered...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Though only a concept product--and one that debuted a few years ago--the Cloud Levitating Sofa remains maybe the coolest idea for and aesthetic execution of a couch ever. So I was thinking maybe one of you entrepreneurial...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
$149.99 from Guitdoorbell »

The Guitdoorbell replaces irritating bing-bong! door chimes and refrains of "It's a small world" with the rich, resonant strum of a real acoustic guitar. Mounted face-down over a doorway in tandem with an underlying plectrum...

Thursday, June 12, 2014
$117.80 from The Fowndry »

What person on the planet...no...in galaxies both near and far, far away is not going to want a Star Wars X-wing knife block? Kids, geeks, chefs, home cooks, people who like knives, people who like food.... Admittedly, the...

Saturday, November 23, 2013
$275 - $899 from Kult »

Holy Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite! Poison Ivy has just given radical new meaning to the term "thunder thighs." I don't know whether to stop drooling and try to voodoo her out of the print, into my living room, or surround...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

The problem with not filling up until your gas light comes on isn't that you're being carelessly dangerous or unwittingly living on the edge, it's that sometimes you get stuck inside ginormous gridlocked clusterclucks that...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$500 - $950 from Casper »

Casper believes the main selling point of their mattress is its ability to both hug and contour and resist and bounce, thereby making sex on top of it 1,000 times better. At least that's the outcome I'm hoping for. Better...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014
$499 from SWASH »

SWASH knows that just because I wear my button-up to happy hour at Rosita's haven of deep-fried Mexican everything, and then dinner at Taste of India doesn't mean it's actually soiled to the point of shelling out for dry...

Saturday, August 23, 2014
$27.10 from Amazon »

If your 16-year-old daughter is going on a date with some punk kid and he comes to pick her up at your house, is it more or less intimidating to be cleaning your guns with a bullet-shaped gun cleaning kit? On the one hand...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
By: Harow

Another supervillain yahtzee! This black skull armchair was the one prop missing from my master plan to raise an army of babies and eliminate all cats and bike lanes from my township! The only downside is that it does not...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$59 - $75 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a few...

Thursday, May 22, 2014
$259.99 from Amazon »

Ever heard anyone say, It's not the dress, it's the girl in the dress? I feel the same basically goes for showers--it's not the shower, it's the girl in the shower--only with a few exceptions. Like AKDY's shower panel, which...

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Alessandro Isola made a carpet table. Like, he took what happens when some klutz or foot shuffler catches his toe on a rug and flips up its edge stumbling forward, and he sculpted that edge into a coffee table. And then he...

Sunday, July 22, 2012
$47.90 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its projectile...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$20 - $50 from Society 6 »

Greg-guillemin reigns supreme: Best Paparazzo Ever. I knew Wonder Woman's rack wasn't real. But I have to say, I definitely took it for silicone over Kleenex. Her tissue-molding skills are impressive. Superheros may pick their...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
$55k from hi can »

Italian in both slick aesthetics and siesta-time concept, I exaggerate not when I say the HiCan high fidelity canopy bed will persuade its occupants never to leave its ultra-modern, four-poster confines. HiCan designer Edoardo...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$350 from United Nuclear »

Whoa. The Supermagnet, a 4" diameter, 2" thick neodymium disc, comes with more red alerts than a limo filled with tequila, coke, condomless hookers with herpes, and a blind chauffeur. "WARNING - VERY POWERFUL." "EXTREMELY...

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their wakeup...

Friday, September 6, 2013
Discontinued

Rolet (roll-ay, like Nube and ole!) is the triple barrel shotgun for pacifists. Really. It loads. It fires. It smokes. And I'd argue that using it will make you feel way better for way longer than shooting something. Though...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$6.19 - $7.69 from Amazon »

Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This double...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$30.15 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014
$33.99 from Amazon »

Sure the Privacy Pillow can store your cash, jewelry, passports, and mint condition first edition Star Wars action figures. Orrrr it can store other types of valuables. Types of which you may find yourself in sudden and instant...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$97.29 - $138.90 from Amazon »

One time for Christmas I got my grandma a nylon reusable garbage bag to hang off one of her front car seats and my brother laughed at me like it was the worst gift a grandmother could ever receive. But I only got it because...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014
$5.05 from Amazon »

I like this Waterfall Soap Saver's simple idea for making my Zest last longer, and also for preventing it from getting that slimy Gulf of Mexico catfish skin it always acquires when left to sit in its own wet glycerin-ness....

Sunday, June 23, 2013
$20 from Amazon »

The Add-A-Lock does one better than the portable intruder alarm: it won't just alert you when your one night stand tries to sneak back into your bedroom to sucker you into a committed, long-term relationship during which she...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
$36.99 - $59.99 from Calm the Ham »

Geez, 30 permutations of Batman's Bat-Signal from 1940 to 2012. I wish the stale logos of Ford and Chevrolet would take a page out of the progressive DC Comics' book. Maybe then I'd consider buying an American car as seriously...

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE Creative...

Friday, August 15, 2014
$200 from Moma Store »

It's no Sears Tower* glass Skydeck hovering 1,353 feet above the streets of Chicago, but at least this transparent stock pot is a lot easier to haul home, and way less likely to make you vomit. Well...unless you're a terrible...

Thursday, August 21, 2014
$1,640 from Michael & George »

All that's missing are the teeth marks. Michael & George pay homage to hardness and blackness with their HB Lamp, a 5-1/2' floor light shaped like a pencil. In and of itself a lamp created in the image of a #2 isn't that cool....