Food

Kombucha Brewing Kit

$44.99 - $74.99 from Amazon »

The cultures! They're alive! And they're, they're...about to dive right down my eager gullet. I didn't love kombucha the first time I tried it, at least not according to my gag reflex, but like anchovies and waxing, the...

Toast! Before You Drink Gummies

$34.99 from Amazon »

I've seen "adult gummies" meant to get you F'd up, but Toast! Before You Drink Gummies are adult gummies that claim to prevent it. Or at least the hangover that follows. The headache. The ass-breath cotton mouth belching...

Edible Asian Forest Scorpion

$14.99 from Amazon »

When I was growing up, pho and spicy tuna rolls were "weird Asian food." How far I've come that it now takes an edible Asian Forest Scorpion, dehydrated and packaged to ship!, to make me flinch...

Magic Milk Flavored Straws

$13.71 from Amazon »

The magic in Magic Milk Straws comes from their unique ability to convince kids to drink their milk without any added incentives other than a fun drinking straw...

Pumpkin Pie Soda

$3.99 from Amazon »

Pumpkin Pie Soda is another reminder of how easy it is to combine two things you really love to form one thing that makes you really want to vomit. Possibly out of both ends...

Pumpkin Spice Death Wish Coffee

$19.99 from Amazon »

It's pumpkin spice on crack! No, not really. Just a whole helluva lot of caffeine. Pumpkin Spice Death Wish Coffee is the Death Wish brand's fall-appropriate seasonal offering, an effort to appeal to both the pumpkin-spice-obsessed...

Blue Cheese Lollipops

Should I have filed Blue Cheese Lollipops under the Gross instead of the Candy category? I guess it depends on how you feel about blue cheese. And lollipops. About mixing sweet and savory. About stinky suckers. About...

Pumpkin Spice SPAM

$8.98 from SPAM »

Pumpkin Spice SPAM. Before your mouth gets watering too heavy, better dry off the dribble and get yourself to the SPAM store to buy some. This autumnal wonder is, like all other food blessed by the Pumpkin Spice Fairy...

Bob Ross Happy Little Tree Mints

$7.75 from Amazon »

This time, Bob Ross' Happy Little Trees are here in a reign of terror. Prepare your bad breath to die in a peppermint assault!...

Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses

Who says men don't like flowers? And for that matter, who says a dozen Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses are suitable only as a gift for men? Defying age, gender, race, and ethnicity, Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses can dazzle...

Folios Baked Cheese Wraps

Crisped, wrapped, rolled, or melted, Folios baked cheese wraps are about to make your keto, low-carb, or cheese-obsessed lifestyle a little more interesting. The thin, flexible discs come in Cheddar, Jarlsberg, and Parmesan...

French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream

I'm all for a National Mustard Day (August 3) but a French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream to celebrate it? Uh, no th-...well, OK. I'll try it...

Picky Oats Organic Performance Oatmeal

$29.90 from Amazon »

You know that saying, you can be picky about your nose, but you can't be picky about your oats? No? Well, doesn't matter, because Picky Oats have just made it all payphone obsolete. Picky Oats are to-go packs of of "organic...

Lil' Nitro - The World's Hottest Gummy Bear

$11.94 from Amazon »

At 900 times hotter than a jalapeno, and at least that much hotter than Lil's Wayne, Jon, Kim, and Bow Wow, Flamethrower Candy Co. believes its Lil' Nitro is the World's Hottest Gummy Bear. And therefore ripe for a dare-you-to-eat-it...

40 Below Joe Frozen Coffee Beads

$34.99 - $64.99 from 40 Below Joe »

If 40 Below Joe's frozen coffee beads look a lot like caffeinated Dippin' Dots to you, and you love you some caffeine and Dippin' Dots, then today is a good day, my friend. These brewed Arabica beans and creamer have...

Shrooms Mushroom Crisps

Sold Out from Amazon »

Mushrooms are a most polarizing food - people typically love them or hate them. So some of you will see these bags of Shrooms Mushroom Crisps, dried and seasoned fungal snacks, and consider them mouthwatering must-trys...

Gincredible Dipper - Gin Fun Dip

$12.99 from Firebox.com »

I have a lot of good news and a lot of bad news about the Gincredible Dipper, basically a take on Fun Dip that incorporates real, boozy elderflower gin in gel form. Let's start with the good...

Hershey's Milk Chocolate Emoji Bars

$0.99 from Hershey's »

Oh hey, it's a milk chocolate Emoshey's Bar. Hershoji's Bar? Hersheyoji's? It's a Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar with emoji squares!...

Stuffed Puffs Chocolate Filled Marshmallows

$3.98 from Wal-Mart »

Forget S'mores, in filling jumbo marshmallows with milk chocolate, Stuffed Puffs just brought my favorite childhood competition of seeing how many marshmallows I can stuff in my mouth without needing the Heimlich back...

Eat a D**k - Anonymously Mail a Chocolate Penis (NSFW)

$26.99 from DicksByMail.com »

It might be made of chocolate, but this penis is sized like a d**k. Shaped like a d**k. Textured like a d**k. It's even certified organic like a d**k! And it's all boxed and ready for you to send to someone you think...

Cookie & Pretzel Ice Cream Cones

$7.50 from Vat 19 »

Nothing against plain ol' wafer cones here, but as the great Cookie Monster would say, Coooooookie?! And likewise, the great Pretzel Monster, Pretzelllllll?!...

Bob Ross The Joy Of Cereal

$9.99 from FYE »

Now here are some happy little trees that are going to give me a happy little belly, 'cause the carefree plant life in this box of Bob Ross The Joy Of Cereal isn't made of oil paint, it's made of marshmallow! Mmmm, I'm...

The Dirty Cookie Shots

$62 from Amazon »

In theory, buying The Dirty Cookie's Cookie Shots is way more expensive than buying a Milk & Cookie Shot Maker and baking the chocolate-lined cow-juice-and-booze-slingin' treats yourself. But remember, time is money...

Shiba Inu Dog Marshmallows

If the sight of a Shiba Inu makes you just want to squishitsface, well, how about sparing the dog's dignity and ability to breathe, and taking out your cuteness aggression on a set of Shiba Inu Dog Marshmallows? Come...