Food

Dutchman's Buttery Coconut Oil for Popcorn

$14.99 from Amazon »

Buttery popcorn fit for the movie theater in a buttery package fit for vegans. Dutchman's Buttery Coconut Oil has your popcorn's back (and front and sides) too, paleos, ketos, and lactose intolerants...

Party-Ready Jello Shots

Do you have a Shotty mouth? Do you want to? These party-ready Jello shots might not get your mama's stamp of approval, but serve them to your friends at the pool, in the backyard, or at your next rager, and they'll probably...

Jelly Belly Extreme BeanBoozled Gift Box

$7.90 from Amazon »

Jelly Belly's Extreme BeanBoozled Gift Box stands at the ready for inclusion in your kid's Easter basket this year. You might need to cover the lid, or dump the collection of Barf, Booger, Canned Dog Food, Dead Fish...

I Love Your Penis Box of Chocolates

$33.99 from Etsy »

Guess which dude got an I Love Your Penis box of chocolates this morning for Valentine's Day? Yep, that's right, my Aunt Jan's new boyfriend. What this dude got? A phone call from my mama telling me all about it. Gah!...

Internet Cookies - A Cookie Subscription for Foodies

$20 - $75 from Internet Cookies »

Oh Internet, I will definitely accept these Cookies. If you're a sweet snack monster, and maybe even more so if you're a foodie who needs more than the "C" in "cookie" to make it good enough for you, check out Internet...

Edible Ghostbusters Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

$12.99 from Vat 19 »

Ohboyohboyohboy, a replica Ghostbusters Stay Puft Marshmallow Man you can eat! I won't say he's giant because, well, we've seen what an actual giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man looks like in the movie. But at 10.6 ounces...

Old Bay Hot Sauce

$3.49 from McCormick »

McCormick has launched an Old Bay Hot Sauce just in time for the Super Bowl, and my Spidey Spicy Sense tells me it's hot in more ways than one: at printing, when I tried to access the McCormick online store to purchase...

Ben & Jerry's Netflix & Chilll'd Ice Cream

Yes please I would like some Ben & Jerry's Netflix & Chilll'd ice cream. I'm not sure why the needed the 3rd "l" to make it "Chilll'd" though. Maybe it's some subtle innuendo about a Netflix & Chill threesome. Like, you...

Jelly Belly Sparkling Water

$13.99 from Jelly Belly »

You won't be getting a jelly belly downing cans of Jelly Belly's new sparkling water. Unlike their beans, the Jelly Belly take on hydration with a side of carbonation has 0 sugars, 0 sweeteners, 0 calories, and 0 sodium...

Keto-Friendly Gummy Fish

$14.85 from Amazon »

I do love me some Swedish Fish, and fakin' it with a pack of Sweet Fish Gummies will cost me just 3 grams of sugar and 80 calories. However, there is a downside. Some associated costs, if you will...

Kombucha Brewing Kit

$44.99 - $74.99 from Amazon »

The cultures! They're alive! And they're, they're...about to dive right down my eager gullet. I didn't love kombucha the first time I tried it, at least not according to my gag reflex, but like anchovies and waxing, the...

Toast! Before You Drink Gummies

$34.99 from Amazon »

I've seen "adult gummies" meant to get you F'd up, but Toast! Before You Drink Gummies are adult gummies that claim to prevent it. Or at least the hangover that follows. The headache. The ass-breath cotton mouth belching...

Edible Asian Forest Scorpion

Sold Out from Amazon »

When I was growing up, pho and spicy tuna rolls were "weird Asian food." How far I've come that it now takes an edible Asian Forest Scorpion, dehydrated and packaged to ship!, to make me flinch...

Magic Milk Flavored Straws

$13.49 from Amazon »

The magic in Magic Milk Straws comes from their unique ability to convince kids to drink their milk without any added incentives other than a fun drinking straw...

Pumpkin Pie Soda

$3.99 from Amazon »

Pumpkin Pie Soda is another reminder of how easy it is to combine two things you really love to form one thing that makes you really want to vomit. Possibly out of both ends...

Pumpkin Spice Death Wish Coffee

Sold Out from Amazon »

It's pumpkin spice on crack! No, not really. Just a whole helluva lot of caffeine. Pumpkin Spice Death Wish Coffee is the Death Wish brand's fall-appropriate seasonal offering, an effort to appeal to both the pumpkin-spice-obsessed...

Blue Cheese Lollipops

Should I have filed Blue Cheese Lollipops under the Gross instead of the Candy category? I guess it depends on how you feel about blue cheese. And lollipops. About mixing sweet and savory. About stinky suckers. About...

Pumpkin Spice SPAM

$8.98 from SPAM »

Pumpkin Spice SPAM. Before your mouth gets watering too heavy, better dry off the dribble and get yourself to the SPAM store to buy some. This autumnal wonder is, like all other food blessed by the Pumpkin Spice Fairy...

Bob Ross Happy Little Tree Mints

$5.95 from Amazon »

This time, Bob Ross' Happy Little Trees are here in a reign of terror. Prepare your bad breath to die in a peppermint assault!...

Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses

Who says men don't like flowers? And for that matter, who says a dozen Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses are suitable only as a gift for men? Defying age, gender, race, and ethnicity, Chocolate Dipped Bacon Roses can dazzle...

Folios Baked Cheese Wraps

Crisped, wrapped, rolled, or melted, Folios baked cheese wraps are about to make your keto, low-carb, or cheese-obsessed lifestyle a little more interesting. The thin, flexible discs come in Cheddar, Jarlsberg, and Parmesan...

French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream

I'm all for a National Mustard Day (August 3) but a French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream to celebrate it? Uh, no th-...well, OK. I'll try it...

Picky Oats Organic Performance Oatmeal

$29.90 from Amazon »

You know that saying, you can be picky about your nose, but you can't be picky about your oats? No? Well, doesn't matter, because Picky Oats have just made it all payphone obsolete. Picky Oats are to-go packs of of "organic...

Lil' Nitro - The World's Hottest Gummy Bear

$10.98 from Amazon »

At 900 times hotter than a jalapeno, and at least that much hotter than Lil's Wayne, Jon, Kim, and Bow Wow, Flamethrower Candy Co. believes its Lil' Nitro is the World's Hottest Gummy Bear. And therefore ripe for a dare-you-to-eat-it...