Food

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Sriracha Seasoning Stix

Mmmmm, impalement coming soon to steak near you. Sriracha Seasoning Stix are solidified pokers of the iconic rooster sauce--the hot cock's hot cock, if you will--made to spice up your meat prior to cooking. Press a few...

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Ayoba-Yo Biltong Beef Snacks

$8.99 - $16.99 from Ayoba-Yo »

Ayoba-Yo makes Biltong. And if saying so sounds like I'm speaking in a foreign tongue, it's because I a little bit am. Both "ayoba" and "Biltong" are words more commonly heard in South Africa. The former, at least as...

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Dried Japanese Blowfish Fins

Fugu is what they call blowfish or pufferfish in Japan. It's also the name they use for the dish licensed chefs make from the adorable Dizzy Gillespie of the sea. And that's licensed not just as chefs, but specifically...

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Know Brainer - The Thinker's Coffee Creamer

$18 from Amazon »

Know Brainer hops on the food trend train--you know, paleo locomotive pulling ketogenic, intermittent fasting, Whole 30, and gluten-free boxcars--to bring us this "thinker's" coffee creamer. The individual, portion-controlled...

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20 Pounds of Japanese Wagyu Beef Filet Mignons

$3,999.99 from Amazon »

One look at these Japanese Wagyu beef filet mignons--their decadent marbling, their popped-cherry rosiness--and you're like, F you, dude! Why would you show me the most delicious meat on earth? There goes my New Year's...

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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Shower Beer

By: Snask »

Shower Beer sounds like a bottle of ale-scented novelty soap. Which would be cool. But what Shower Beer really is is even better: a 6-ounce bottle of actual pale ale conceived and packaged to be downed in 3 perfect gulps...

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The Ridge Slim Front Pocket Wallets

$45 - $105 from The Ridge »

Don't let overstuffed, bulging bi-folds infiltrate your pockets! Fight the Costanza Effect! Get on the Ridge! The Ridge slim front pocket wallets highlight 2 EDC must-haves, simplicity and compactness, across a line of...

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Fuego Box Craft Hot Sauce Club

They say the earth is getting hotter. Fuego Box agrees. And having traveled the world and seen it firsthand, they've brought some of the finer heat they found back. For you. For your tacos. Your pizza. Your eggs. Your...

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Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack

$39.99 from Amazon »

Now this is the kind of snake bite I'll take any day: the one where I'm on the delivering end, and the python recipient is covered in teriyaki sauce, kissed with brown sugar, and dried with a touch of liquid smoke. The...

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Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Egg

I tried one of Truffle Cottage's Game of Thrones Chocolate Dragon Eggs last night. And if by "tried" you think I mean "demolished," then you are correct, sir! I think She-Ra: Princess of Power ate a couple from the stash...

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Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula

$24.99 from Amazon »

What's that you're eating? Antelope jerky? Pssshh! Amateur. Real men, men with balls as big as their 3 p.m. snack cravings, eat dehydrated zebra tarantulas. Straight from the can....

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Paqui Carolina Reaper Madness Chip

Sold Out from Paqui »

Betcha can't eat just one. Maybe not even one bite. Paqui says its Carolina Reaper Madness Chip is made with the hottest chile pepper on earth, and possibly in all the circles of hell. It's so hot they package them in...

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Russian Space Food

$59 from Amazon »

Tubes of Russian Space Food. Hmmm, those don't look suspicious at all. You know, it's not really a question of how much you're willing to pay for the chance to eat 3 authentic cosmonaut meals, but of whether or not your...

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Cards Against Humanity Fortune Cookies

$10 from OK Cookie Co. »

I like the fortunes that say things like, "Soon you will be sitting on top of the world," and "May you grow rich," followed by a series of lucky numbers that happen to coincide with those drawn during this week's Power...

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Spiked Sparkling Water

$9.99 - $15.99 from Truly Spiked & Sparkling »

Think less Bartles & Jaymes* and more Talking Rain. Truly Spiked & Sparkling isn't a sugary wine cooler or Mike's-style malt beverage, but a bottle of simple sparkling water with a natural twist. And a slightly sweet...

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Soylent Coffiest

$15.89 - $82 from Amazon »

A few years ago we got our first taste of Soylent, a meal replacement drink that essentially amounts to dog food for humans. (Yeah, yeah, or maybe...it is humans!) Day in, day out, Soylent tastes exactly the same, and...

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Banana Flour

Sold Out from Amazon »

Paleo and gluten-free monkeys rejoice! You can now enjoy puffy, fluffy pancakes, peanut butter cookies, and rich, thick sausage gravy, or even just an extra shot of potassium in your morning smoothie, courtesy of the...

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Satan's Blood Hot Sauce

$17.68 from Amazon »

Satan's Blood Hot Sauce comes in a "blood vial shaped bottle with 800,000 Scoville units of pepper extract." Yeah, I can see that. I can also see a cock & balls ready to spew a scorching, blinding, fiery-hot death onto...

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BubbleLick Edible Boozy Bubbles

$18.12 from Amazon »

If I had a kid, BubbleLick-ing would be my father-son bonding activity of choice: he blows, I consume. It might be the only game you'll ever play as a parent that actually gets more fun the longer it drags on....

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Pussy Natural Energy Drink

$24.99 from Amazon »

So many ways to interpret the Pussy energy drink. Does it give men in need the bravado to get some? Reinvigorate the nether regions of women who aren't in the mood? Inject some downtown youthfulness into cougars on the...

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Loloz - Cavity-Fighting Lollipops

$29.99 from Amazon »

Oh good, now all the Kandi Kids kids can practice responsible oral hygiene when they're high on Molly at the EDM festivals this summer. Your own little ones might love them some brightly-colored, fruity-flavored Loloz...

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High-Protein 100% Bean Pasta

Sold Out from Amazon »

Make that Inordinately-High-Protein 100% Bean Pasta. That tastes surprisingly F'ing delicious. Each serving of Explore Asian's bean pastas--available in black bean, soybean, adzuki bean, and edamame & mung bean varieties--has...

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5-Pound Bag of Gummi Bears

$12.24 from Amazon »

The best part about a 5-pound bag of Gummi Bears is obviously that it contains approximately 985 Gummi Bears. But the second best part is Haribo's description of those 985 Gummi Bears as "Naturally flavored with balanced...

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Milk & Cookies Shots

Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...

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Pickle Juice Sport Drink

$23.78 from Amazon »

Don't worry. No cucumbers are harmed in the making of Pickle Juice. This briny sports drink is simply packed with pickling ingredients and flavors, plus a few other functional vitamins and minerals, that its creators...

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High-Protein Bone Broth K-Cups

$8.99 from Amazon »

Beef. It's what's for...your morning cup of coffee. Healthy living champion LonoLife has put together a series of packable little K-cup soups and broths that brew quick & tasty in any compatible single-serve coffee maker....

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Da Bomb Ghost Pepper Nuts

$7.44 from Amazon »

Oh nuts, I just burned off a few hundred more taste buds (good thing the Internet says they'll grow back in a couple of weeks.) Da Bomb Ghost Pepper Nuts kiss an 8-ounce tin of everyone's favorite anaphylactic shock allergen...

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Mini Nutella Jars

$28.95 from Amazon »

Finally I can justify eating an entire jar of Nutella. The only problem is that these mini glass bottles of the creamerrific hazelnut spread come in packs of 16. So it's going to be like me and a bag of fun-size snickers:...

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Super Mario Candy Easter Egg

It may not be a block, but crack your head against this yellow question mark and you'll still enjoy the spoils of gold coins and a mushroom o' added life. Or at least a temporary increase in energy from its 58 or so grams...

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Edible Printer Paper

$27.32 from Amazon »

Hey kids, now you can blame the dog or your dad for eating your homework. Or just do it yourself. This pack of edible paper is even printer-ready for replicating high-quality photographs and graphics in food-grade ink....

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Halo Top Eat-the-Whole-Pint Healthy Ice Cream

$5.99 from Halo Top »

This is the Halo Top pitch: 240 to 280 calories per pint, and it more than doesn't suck. In fact, get a jar of PB2, mix some of that powdery peanut butter goodness into a personal vat of Halo Top Chocolate, and you won't...

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Death Wish Coffee - The World's Strongest Coffee

$19.99 from Amazon »

Having a death wish can score you $5 million. At least in free Super Bowl 50 advertising, and at least if you're Death Wish Coffee Co. In addition to the hyper buzz they get from downing cups of their ultra-caffeinated...

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IPA Beer Brittle

$17.88 from Amazon »

Give your lady some fine truffles for Valentine's Day, and maybe she'll return the favor with a package of GoodHead flavored gel. Or, as a first runner up, Small Batch Brittle's IPA Beer Brittle....

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Moon Cheese

$8.01 - $48.60 from Amazon »

Moon Cheese is for people who want to eat snacks that are low-carb and gluten-free, and also for people who want to eat snacks that are effing delicious. How do I describe it? Imagine eating Cheetos built entirely from...

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Peanut Butter & Jam Old Fashioned

$56.59 from Firebox.com »

PB&J has grown up. Now it's the perfect companion for the dude who just wants to relax with a sophisticated adult beverage...but doesn't want to stray too far from his favorite squishy, sticky, nummy childhood sammich....

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Solid Chocolate Revolver

Sold Out from Amazon »

Why pack heat when you can pack sweets? (Plus a few pounds onto your butt and gut.) This revolver from Chocolate Weapons is an exact, full-size replica molded from almost a pound of solid milk chocolate. It comes in a...

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Sansaire Steak Aging Sauce

$33.09 from Amazon »

If you've got a Crock-Pot or a fancy foodie sous vide cooker, Sansaire says their Steak Aging Sauce will infuse your meat with "the complex flavor of dry aging" in no more than the amount of time it takes you to cook...

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Franklin's Finest Emergency Survival Coffee

$13.39 from Amazon »

I feel like I need Emergency Survival Coffee every morning, so I guess the only thing that sets Franklin's Finest apart from my standard cup of grocery store grind is semantics. They mean "real" emergency that requires...

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10-Pound Toblerone Bar

$51.51 from Amazon »

Toblerone has built 45, 100-gram servings into their 10-pound mountain range of chocolate, honey, and almond nougat. That's:...

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SurvivAMINO - Survival Protein Substitute

$21.99 from Amazon »

SurvivAMINO will rePLACE proTEIN. Help you mainTAIN StrenGTH. Eliminate the hasSLE of CHEWing and TASTing FOOD. For active outdoorsman, backpackers, sailors, soldiers, or just mildly active dudes living in suburbia and...

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LIVIN Farms Edible Insect Hive

$499 - $599 from Livin Farms »

They don't call them mealworms for nothing. LIVIN Farms' Hive might look like a storage tower for your loose screws and bolts, but slide one of these drawers open and the only spare parts you'll find are the squirmy ones...

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Grow Your Own Escargot Kit

$53.39 from Firebox.com »

Note: Converting them from snails to escargot is optional. You are welcome just to grow them and name them and keep them as snuggly (with a side of slime) pets. Otherwise: Attention kitchen magicians! If your bag of culinary...

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Outer Space Vodka

$5.99 - $29.99 from Outer Space Vodka »

What's scarier than this freak parade of masks on Halloween night? The head-splitting, toilet-hugging hangover we're all going to have Sunday morning. Especially with 1) Daylight Saving Time ending at 2 a.m., giving everyone...

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Jane's Brew Cannabis-Infused Coffee

Down a cup of Jane's Brew and you'll feel the buzz, the clarity, the drive, the...sudden desire to eat a family-size bag of chips and take a nap. Jane calls her cannabis-infused coffee, available as pods, pod bags, or...

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Anchor Anti-Nausea Bar

$11.99 - $39.99 from Amazon »

Sea sick? Morning sick? Meds sick? Eight Rum & Cokes and maybe a shot of whiskey sick? Anchor yourself....

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GO CUBES Chewable Coffee

$42 from Amazon »

GO CUBES are what happens when real-life Willy Wonkas get their hands on coffee beans. In this case, Willy is Nootrobox, a supplements company focused on nootropics, or drugs with cognitive enhancing properties. Smart...

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West Coast Roasting Hand-Roasted-to-Order Coffee

$17.25 - $19 from West Coast Roasting Company »

Nate and Melissa White created West Coast Roasting. They have hand-roasted, bagged, and labelled every batch of coffee they've ever produced. To order. Since long before, as they so winningly put it, "people put mustaches...