Headwear

LightMode Bike Helmet EL Kits

$69 - $72 from LightMode »

We've seen simultaneous nods to motorcycle safety and TRON light cycles with bike wheel lights. LightMode kits propose something similar with bike helmet lights. More specifically, ropes of EL material riders DIY around...

DIY Cardboard Masks

$7.41 from Etsy »

If you've left costume planning for your Halloween, or Eyes Wide Shut, party to the 11th hour, Steve Wintercroft may have a downloadable solution for you. I say "may" because his nifty animal, skull, and humanoid masks...

Emoji Masks

$5 - $15 from Emoji Masks »

Only Emojis make it possible to text friends realistic piles of steaming poo, and only Emoji Masks make it acceptable to call them shitheads. Wearing one for costume parties gets two Thumbs Up and three Grin Emojis; wearing...

Dry Erase Rally Flip Caps

$26.10 from Rally Flip Cap »

Dry Erase Snapback Rally Flip Caps are kind of like bumper stickers for your head. Except they don't stick there permanently until you scrape them off with Avon products and razor blades. Available in 6-panel, trucker...

Pandito Balaclava

Discontinued

Panda bears have a notoriously low sex drive in captivity. Some of them don't even seem to know how to do it. Zookeepers must spend countless hours showing pandas bear porn and demo videos to light the fire below their...

Spider-Man Beanie

Sold Out from Etsy »

Pamela Joyce Tan-Javate would like to warn people who wear her Spider-Man beanie that, unlike real spiders and Spider-Men, you have only 2 eyes, not 8. So if you're going for the full Spidey effect with the adjustable...

LED Dome Light Beanie

Sold Out from Amazon »

Athletic apparel brand Nathan's Dome Light beanie has a strip of LEDs on both its front and back sides so that other people can watch where I'm going and get out of my way. Because when dusk falls I'm usually otherwise...

Breaking Bad Heisenberg Hat

$195 from Goorin Bros. »

I'm pretty sure Macklemore, that Caucasian rapper from the Pacific Northwest, spoke of this hat in his song about wearing your grampy's coat and purchasing clothes from a thrift shop. Funny how milliner Goorin Bros. can...

Hibermate Sleeping Ear Muffs

$59.95 from Hibermate »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe...

SleepPhones

$39.95 from Amazon »

I thought maybe SleepPhones blocked out the sounds of snoring and garbage trucks and sirens and stupid F'ing songbirds with some sort of industrial acoustic insulation woven inside their fleece headband, but the self-described...

Travel Hoodie Pillow

$19.95 from Hoodie Pillow »

Shark Tank strikes again. The Hoodie Pillow, another concept first introduced on ABC's entrepreneurial cattle call, has debuted a travel version of its fleece snooze-time companion. In this case, the namesake hood connects...

Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet

Discontinued

My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with...

Ninja Turtles Beanie

$35 from Etsy »

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose...

Pixelhead

Suck it, Facebook! For a mere $200, Pixelhead will guarantee I never again have to worry about my boss' boss' boss finding his Timeline filled with photos of me double Boobs Ice Luging it with his 22-year-old daughter...

Santa Beard Beanie

Ho, ho ho, yo. It's a kitschy hipster beanie hipster kitsched up a little more with the addition of a festive Santa Claus red knit hat and white beard. I've seen quite a few of these making the Web rounds this season...

Christmas Vacation Cousin Eddie Hat

$24.99 from Amazon »

What can I say, the shitter was full. Fans of A Christmas Story and the craptastic It's a Wonderful Life may flog me, but I stand by the following statement: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best holiday movie...

Crocheted Knight Helmet

$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days...

Animal Hoodies

$9.82 - $23.95 from Amazon »

Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair...

Turkey Hat

Discontinued

My grandma used to like to call people she was pissed at turkeys, so this knit Turkey Hat holds a special place in the nostalgic part of my heart. If a lady wore this I wonder would it still be inappropriate to ask to...

Emoki Mind-Powered Animal Ears

$69.99 - $89.95 from Emoki »

Emokis will make your ears perk up. Or droop down. Or wiggle back and forth. All based on your emotions, as transmitted via your brainwaves to a Necomimi headset sensory device attached to the furry animal audibles. Yes...

Bloody Beanies

Excuse me, sir, but I think you have an open contusion with a protruding eyeball the size of my daughter's face on the side of your head. Halloween be damned. Bloody Beanies were invented for anyone who wants to stay...

Marty McFly Hat

$26 from Amazon »

Here we have the one single thing* Back to the Future II got right in its big-screen predictions for the 2010s: trippy-looking neon spectrums are indeed the current rage. The pillow, the double rainbow hula hoop, and...

Princess Leia Beanie

$29.99 from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm...

Brain Hat

$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn...