Spider-Man Beanie

Posted: October 04, 2013
Spider-Man Beanie
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Pamela Joyce Tan-Javate would like to warn people who wear her Spider-Man beanie that, unlike real spiders and Spider-Men, you have only 2 eyes, not 8. So if you're going for the full Spidey effect with the adjustable eye mask down, it is best to avoid activities that require vision, such as driving, skiing, biking, skating, and reading a Snellen chart. Sadly, fighting crime completely enmasked could prove problematic as well.

On the flip side, the Spider-Man beanie's sight impairment properties could be a super addition to some undertakings. Honing aural and tactile prowess. Sleeping through classes or business meetings. Making out with someone woefully unattractive.

Alter ego beanies take 2 to 3 weeks to produce, so if you're ordering for an occasion, plan accordingly. And for those who prefer to perfect their superhero aesthetic without sacrificing one of their 5 senses, check out Tan-Javate's Ninja Turtles beanie; its mask has the same air of valiance and intrigue as Spider-Man's, and it also has eyeball holes.

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