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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/travel-hoodie-pillow-7759.jpg "Travel Hoodie Pillow")
Shark Tank strikes again. The Hoodie Pillow, another concept first introduced on ABC's entrepreneurial cattle call, has debuted a travel version of its fleece snooze-time companion. In this case, the namesake hood connects to a padded more...
/crocheted-knights-helmet-5719.jpg "Crocheted Knight Helmet")
Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days are looking more...
/crocheted-optimus-prime-helmet-7291.jpg "Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet")
My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with crispy, hot-off-the-iron square reservoirs with limp, lackluster Eggos she popped out of the toaster. They were always still frozen in the center, Nana! Needless to say, I had to get more...
/husky-hoodie-5689.jpg "Animal Hoodies")
Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair of mittens more...
/ninja-turtles-beanie-6696.jpg "Ninja Turtles Beanie")
If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie for more...
/Brain-Hat-1800.jpg?mode=crop "Brain Hat")
Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn you double takes everywhere from the ski slopes to the local science fair. And since most people you pass on a daily basis are in dire need of a functional, practical brain, loop more...
/pixelhead-6561.jpg "Pixelhead"){kind=tracking}
Suck it, Facebook! For a mere $200, Pixelhead will guarantee I never again have to worry about my boss' boss' boss finding his Timeline filled with photos of me double Boobs Ice Luging it with his 22-year-old daughter. Even if I'm tagged, more...
/Kids-Ultimate-Bearded-Beanie-983.jpg?mode=crop "Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie")
The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects on is psyche more...
/christmas-vacation-cousin-5733.jpg "Christmas Vacation Cousin Eddie Hat")
What can I say, the shitter was full. Fans of A Christmas Story and the craptastic It's a Wonderful Life may flog me, but I stand by the following statement: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best holiday movie ever. And more...
/princess-leia-beanie-front-3204.jpg "Princess Leia Beanie")
The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and girls are more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/Flaming-Thor-Helmet-1040.jpg?mode=crop "Flaming Thor Helmet")
The helmet is a beautiful dense plastic replica of a Thor Helmet with custom stand. The aluminum flame tubes are raised above the helmet so that there is no heat transfer from the tubes to the helmet. There is a simple flow control more...
/emoki-mindpowered-animal-ears-5321.jpg "Emoki Mind-Powered Animal Ears")
Emokis will make your ears perk up. Or droop down. Or wiggle back and forth. All based on your emotions, as transmitted via your brainwaves to a Necomimi headset sensory device attached to the furry animal audibles. Yes, in this day more...
/bloody-eyeball-beanie-4413.jpg "Bloody Beanies")
Excuse me, sir, but I think you have an open contusion with a protruding eyeball the size of my daughter's face on the side of your head. Halloween be damned. Bloody Beanies were invented for anyone who wants to stay warm while creeping more...
/santa-beard-beanie-5948.jpg "Santa Beard Beanie")
Ho, ho ho, yo. It's a kitschy hipster beanie hipster kitsched up a little more with the addition of a festive Santa Claus red knit hat and white beard. I've seen quite a few of these making the Web rounds this season, but most seem more...
/Beer-Box-Cowboy-Hats-459.jpg?mode=crop "Beer Box Cowboy Hats")
The time honored tradition of taking an empty twelve pack box and wearing it for a hat to impress women has finally been standardized. These hats are made from real beer boxes and are officially licensed. These are actually high quality more...
/The-Inbred-Silicone-Mask-1336.jpg?mode=crop "The Inbred Silicone Mask")
I've been wanting to resemble an inbred my entire life. It's a difficult look to pull off though.... convincingly at least. And without the look, my hopes of heading off into the sunset of the foothills of West Virginia, Deliverance more...
/turkey-hat-5394.jpg "Turkey Hat")
My grandma used to like to call people she was pissed at turkeys, so this knit Turkey Hat holds a special place in the nostalgic part of my heart. If a lady wore this I wonder would it still be inappropriate to ask to touch her breast. more...
/Princess-Leia-Bun-Headphone-Covers-1731.jpg "Princess Leia Bun Headphone Covers")
Things that have withstood the test of time: Star Wars; synthetic hair; cunning women's ability to lure horny men by donning Princess Leia cinnamon buns. New to the mix is that these spirals o' power are useful too. Permanently glue more...
/Kenny-Powers-Mullet-Cap-833.jpg?mode=crop "Kenny Powers Mullet Cap")
When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of my shit. Just a man with a mind for victory and an more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
