Kids

Skoda Man-Pram

At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it...

The Roddler - Hot Rod Baby Strollers

$4,495 from Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around...

Spider-Man Bed Cover

Sold Out from Amazon »

My Spidey Sense says that Robin would risk being labeled a traitor and facing legal action due to copyright infringement in order to take a siesta in this bed. Especially on lonely, pouty nights when Bruce brings home...

Batman Car Seat

$149 from KidsEmbrace »

A Batman Car Seat?! Kids these days are so spoiled. When I was of car seat age my mama didn't even put me in a car seat. She strapped me down with bungee cords. And only on the inside of the car instead of the roof on...

Omar Little Bib

Sold Out from Etsy »

Omar Little, quintessential role model for those short on teeth and sweet on pulverized green beans and boob milk. Oh, indeed. The Wire's beloved man with the hot hand for stickin' it to drug dealers now comes in a medium...

Baby Superhero Bib

$12 from Amazon »

"Fool" is such a grand addition to the English language. Mr. T knew what was up. Apparently, bib-wearing babies do too. I knew they were smarter than they look. I bet in actuality they're like a tribe of wee geniuses...

iPood Baby Onesie

Discontinued

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting...

Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper

Discontinued

It's never too early to indoctrinate your kids into the world of role-playing. Even casual RPG enthusiasts will get a kick out of J!NX's Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper for the 2 to 3 weeks it actually fits their ludicrous-speed-growing...

Baby Thug Onesie

$19.95 from Amazon »

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

Baby Frankenstein Hat

$25 from Etsy »

Obviously I like this Frankenstein hat because it represents the true nature of babies: scary mish-mashes of tiny monster parts stitched together into wiggly, fluid-projectile-ejecting beings that terrify me. Though seemingly...

R2D2 Baby Costume

$38 from Etsy »

I know your toddler is a unique and special snowflake, but now you can turn him into a programmable, monotone android too and revel in the irony! Carolyn Caffelle calls her R2D2 onesie and hat a costume, though I think...

Ninteetho - Baby Geek Teething Toy

Sold Out from Etsy »

The Ninteetho old school Nintendo teether is two kinds of awesome. First, it's the one video game controller you won't have to spend $99.95 replacing when your suddenly mobile kid grabs hold and gets to gnawing on and...

Infant Monkey Costume

$28 - $71.99 from Amazon »

This isn't quite Ralphie in his pink bunny pajamas from Aunt Clara, but it's pretty close. I don't think the idea here is to dress your infant comfortably, but more to entertain adults and create some classic photo opportunities...

Raised By Wolves Onesie

$18 from Etsy »

These button-cute baby threads are hitting the online shopping world just in time for the next installment of Twilight. The one where Bella gets preggo!...

Baby Blue Terry Shark Robe

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though not always as deadly as they seem, let's face it, babies are predators. Sharks in sheep's clothing. Seconds away from their next tantrum. Ready. Waiting... to ruin your life. So let's not pretend we like them...