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iPood Baby Onesie

By: on December 09, 2012
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iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting its aromatic emissions. Crank it up to 11, Baby G! Available in black and white short sleeved, legless onesie models, the iPood surely has to be the first in a series of Apple product parodies on defecation*. Next up: the iPood Shuffle. Approach the baby wearing this one with caution, as it will change at random the orifice from which it secretes a bodily substance. Maybe iPood. Or maybe iPeed. Or iSnottedAllOverMyFace. Or iProjectileSpitUpBreastMilk.

iPood onesie interfaces are screen printed onto 100% soft, breathable cotton bodysuits with a lap shoulder and 3 snap closures between the legs. It should hold its shape when washed, which it damn well better as it will need constant post-pooed-in washings, even during the 17 to 20 days it actually fits the baby you bought it for. Babies grow so fast. When I'm high, I can actually see their tibias and fibulas getting longer. It's creepy. Almost as creepy as when they tell me I can stare all I want, but have no chance in hell of ever getting within 5 yards of their mom's rack.

*For babies anyway. Adults have long relished the Apple iPoo Toilet.

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Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads

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Anonymously Send Sh*t

Discontinued

If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...

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Baby Thug Onesie

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"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

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Skoda Man-Pram

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At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it....