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Ninteetho - Baby Geek Teething Toy

By: on May 10, 2012
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The Ninteetho old school Nintendo teether is two kinds of awesome. First, it's the one video game controller you won't have to spend $99.95 replacing when your suddenly mobile kid grabs hold and gets to gnawing on and drooling all over it. And second, um, it's an old school Nintendo teether. A means of placating crabby children that also calls to mind some of the most wonderful days of your own childhood. A profound reference to the circle of life, and innovative way to prepare Jr. for his forthcoming days of spending hours plastered to the TV playing the latest permutation of Mario. Also, it's a little more affordable than the Nintendo Controller Coffee Table.

3 Princesses Engraving's Nintendo teether is chemical- and toxin-free, carved from Canadian maple, and finished with a baby-safe, unscented beeswax polish. The controller's design and buttons are laser engraved. Dimensions are 5" long x 2" wide x 1/4" thick.

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Baby Head Masks

$450 - $500 from Hyperflesh »

People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...

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The Baby Muzzle

$149.99 from Japan Trend Shop »

First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...

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The Baby Shusher

$31.48 from Amazon »

Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...

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In Vitro Baby Branding

Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...

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Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder

$29.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between way too much and not nearly enough geek lies the Keytendo, an NES-themed key holder, and your Goldilocks gift for a geek....

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Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads

Through September 13th, 2105, click here to enter Dude's Mission Critical Baby Carrier & Daypack giveaway. It's your chance to MOLLE up those diapers, bottles & 6-month-olds with a Baby Carrier and Carrier Daypack combo...

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Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

$6k from Etsy »

What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...

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Nintendo Lighters

$6.99 from Amazon »

Are you going to fire up the NES or ignite the Game Boy tonight? These Nintendo-themed lighters have all your old school flame-flicking needs covered. I wonder if they also come with a means of converting flame to fireball...

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Infant Circumcision Trainer

$192 from Amazon »

Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...

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Baby Thug Onesie

$19.95 from Amazon »

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

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Skoda Man-Pram

By: Skoda »

At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it....

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Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever

$14.99 from Amazon »

Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...