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Naked Lady Golf Tees

By: on July 16, 2016
$4.99
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If you haven't already injected your Summer 2016 with some 1980s-era hilarity courtesy of the Butt Buoys or Floaty Pants, I have good nudes.

I mean news.

You get one more chance.

Not only are these Naked Lady Golf Tees shaped and molded like NAKED LADIES, but according to their manufacturer they are also "virtually indestructible." So you can pretty much take them (or put them) anywhere, and whack them (or use them to whack off) as hard as you want.

Ever the resourceful naked ladies, the 10-pack of nudi-tees can also double as divot tools.

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The New Erotic Photography (NSFW)

$13.49 from Amazon »

If they consider "new erotic photography" to mean putting baby bottle nipples on a lady's nipples, then I'm...I'm...I'm OK with that. I mean, it seems a little redundant, and maybe wouldn't have been the first path I...

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Little Book of Butts (NSFW)

$9.99 from Amazon »

We have big books of breasts...in 3D. On top of coloring books of vaginas. Smashed next to coloring books of multiple anatomical parts interlocking with other anatomical parts

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Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...

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Big Book of Big Breasts 3D (NSFW)

$42.25 - $55.89 from Amazon »

I spent most of the day contemplating how I might discuss The Big Book of Breasts 3D with the great respect and deference I feel for it and its contents, but without sounding too dry, detached, or clinical. Unfortunately...

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Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds, 1953-2016

$46.39 from Amazon »

Did you know Marilyn Monroe was the first ever Playboy centerfold? It happened in 1953, and launched what would become Hugh Hefner's iconic Playmate of the Month title and spread. And I didn't know of this before. Clearly...

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F-Cup Cookies

F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...

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The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...

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Color My Boobs Adult Coloring Book

$9.99 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically...

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Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

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Book of Things Better Than Boobs

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Part of me wants to tell you what's inside the Book of Things Better Than Boobs so you'll get why it's so brilliant, but part of me wants to let you find out for yourself so you'll experience why it's so brilliant. I...

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Boobs Ice Luge

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And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$21 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...