12

The Best Gifts for Women

By: on November 26, 2017
  • Hygge
  • Incense
  • Baby Foot
  • Hairbrush
  • Heat Wave Stone
  • Overbed
  • Waterfall Shower
  • Infinity Mirror
  • Wine Glass Holder
  • Sushi
  • SANS Juice
  • Sweet Spot Ice Cream
  • Date Night
  • Champagne Sabre
  • Ravanello Radish
  • Color Muse
  • Egg Bot
  • Silhouette
  • VegTrug
  • Soap Rocks
  • Self Defense Bracelet
  • Sequin Mermaid
  • Candle Jewelry
  • Chewbacca
  • Weighted Blanket
  • Pornogami
  • Vibe Panties
  • Love Is Art
  • Womanizer
  • Wine Aerate
  • Hyper

In this year's compilation of The Best Gifts for Women I tried to include what a girl wants. What a girl needs. Whatever makes her happy, sets her free. And, fine, a few things that, if she owned, might benefit me too.

Note: Gifts are sorted by category and, within each category, listed by price from low to high. All items' prices are listed as they were at printing. Prices are subject to change.

Gifts for the Mind, Body & Soul

The Little Book of Hygge $11. Meik Wiking is the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. (Yep, Denmark has a Happiness Research Institute.) He wrote The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living to help us non-Danes learn how to incorporate the concept, and the sense of fulfillment and well-being it brings, into our own lives. And also probably to make some money, because I'm pretty sure financial freedom doesn't hurt Hygge either.

By the way, Hygge is not pronounced like the sound you'd make if someone sucker punched you in the gut. It's pronounced Hoo-ga. Like, "Pass the Hoo-ga," or, "Here comes the ice cream man! Hoo-ga a few bucks I can borrow for a Choco Taco?"

Backflow Incense Burners $10 to $50. Ceramic designs that hold an incense cone (rather than a stick) at their peak. When lit the cones release smoke that kind of billows and hovers along burner channels or near its output point. The effect can be dreamy as a fountain, mysterious as a castle tower in the mist, eerie as a ominous wizard, or comforting as a pot of tea.

Baby Foot Human Molting Peel $20. I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake oil. Have a look at the ingredient list yourself. My girlfriend says two near the top, lactic acid and glycolic acid, usually show up in her face peels, but...damn. If her face peeled off like that I'd tell her to go back to Jaqen.

Light & Massage Therapy Hairbrush $59. Body Essentials says activating this brush's warm red LED lights and massage action will increase blood circulation to the hair follicles, helping to thicken them and improve hair growth. They also say it will relax and detangle hair. But, abstaining from outlandish claims, the brush doesn't promise to cure baldness or suck out frizz or turn wiry curls straight. And reviewers have had generally positive experiences using it, noting that, at the very least, it makes head grooming feel good.

HEAT-WAVE Hot Stone Massage Tool $87. The SYNERGY STONE HEAT-WAVE (their choice to yell, not mine) is a curvy muscle roller that heats in 60 seconds in the microwave, and then penetrates deeply along the back, legs, and arms with its nubby wave shape. With or--my wish for you--without clothes. HEAT-WAVEs are comfortable and easy to grip in one or both hands, and packages include 3 Ultra-Smooth tips for use against the skin without oil or--my wish for you--tip-free with it.

Overbed Work Desk & Table $85 to $95. Whether she's nursing an injury, a hangover, or just a whole bunch of lazy bones, an Overbed computing cart will help her complete her professional duties, including surfing the web and checking in on her favorite Insta accounts, reclined comfortably on her mattress.

Waterfall & Massage Shower Panel $200. Has both a gentle waterfall head cascading down from above and 8 massaging jets spaced along its sides, each adjustable for streaming at whatever part of her body needs a wet massage this time around. Swell bonus: the entire panel is mirrored.

Perfect Reflection LED Infinity Mirror $320. Snow White's Mirror, Mirror on the Wall meets The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in a Perfect Reflection. A standard bathroom mirror for primping yourself into the fairest of them all by by day(light), the Perfect Reflection's LED lights flick on in the dark to form a seemingly unending tunnel / passage to Narnia. This "infinity" effect is similar to that of standing between two mirrors facing one another.

Gifts for the Food & Wine Lovers

Outdoor Wine Glass Holder $17.50. These vino consumption accessories stabilize rickety wine glasses on a variety of outdoor surfaces. With a set of securing prongs for stemmed, and a shallow depression for unstemmed glasses, plus a trio of holder attachments, you'll be able to: 1) stake your glass in grass during picnics and outdoor concerts, or in the sand at the beach; 2) strap the holder to a patio chair or deck railing; or 3) suction cup it to the deck of a boat or hot tub.

SushiQuik Super Easy Sushi Making Kit $25. Untrained sushi non-chefs can learn to construct the perfect sushi roll every time. The manual, non-electric tool also contains a roll cutter for delivering precision-sliced side pieces that aren't all smooshed up with rice spilling out and avocado smeared everywhere like mine were that time my fiancee made me take a Sushi ShakeUp! class with her.

SANS Juice & Smoothie Preserving Travel Bottle $30. Pump up the jam, or at least its squeezed and blended fruit components, with the SANS, a travel bottle for juices and smoothies whose built-in vacuum pump mechanism is designed to preserve drinks in their freshest and most nutritious forms. SANS says juicing, blending, even just cutting into fruits and vegetables kicks off an oxidation process that begins sucking them of their nutrients, and leading them down the path towards spoiled rotten. The SANS pump system removes air and seal off drinks from further exposure with a few pushes of the vacuum pump built into the bottle's lid.

HyperChiller Iced Coffee Maker $30. If she can hold her horses and swirl her wrist for 60 seconds or so, pure, refreshing iced coffee to start the day, or keep her chugging along through it, is hers. HyperChiller cools fresh hot coffee into fresh iced coffee in as little as a minute. The container's multi-chamber, flash-chilling design also means the hot brew never touches ice; it emerges cold undiluted, and full of the flavor cold brew lovers crave.

Sweet Spot Instant Ice Cream Maker $44. Basically the creamy dairy treat version of the slushie mug I used every weekend at my grandma's house as a kid. But here, to accommodate the flash-freezing of cream and milk into lickable scoops, Chef'n has tweaked the container's proportions. With a much shallower depth and larger surface area than the slush cup, frozen treat seekers are able to pour in their chilled liquid recipe and scrape it around to a solid in less than 5 minutes.

Aerating Stemless Wine Glass Set $56. I can't taste one bud of difference between a wine I've aerated and one I've drunk straight from the bottle, but I do like a good show. And that, as much as anything, is what I think these Aerating Stemless Wine Glasses from Chevalier Collection are here for. Sold in sets of 2, the glasses have internal vessels to receive poured wine, which they aerate by releasing it in a Vegas-style cascade through spouts leading to the main bowls. According to Chevalier Collection, this "shower-head effect" gets you the most aeration you can stir up on a direct pour. Even more than blowing really hard into a full glass, I guess.

Date Night Backpack $59. Double date night, or family night if you want. This picnic-ready pack includes complete eatin' and drinkin' settings for 4, including dishes, flatware, wine glasses, cloth napkins, a cutting board, a bottle opener, and a fleece blanket with waterproof backing.

Sciabola del Sommelier Champagne Sabre $169. Fox Knives calls their Champagne sabres "Sciabola del Sommelier," the Italian translation of Champagne sabre, not because they're pompous wine snobs, but because all of these dramatic bottle beheaders are handcrafted in Maniago, Italy, and they speak Italian there. So what it is? The most dramatic and satisfying way she'll ever open a bottle of bubbles. But note: if you get her a Sciabola del Sommelier, I'd recommend wrapping up a case of Cook's alongside it.

Gifts for the Crafters, Cultivators & Creators

Ravanello - Mario Mushroom Radish Shaper $11. 1UP! 1UP! 1UP! 1UP!1UP!1UP! As many 1UP! radish-mushrooms as her little fingers and wrists can churn out without cramping up or going arthritic. Did they intend for a shaper that carves and pokes root vegetables into fungi to look just like the ones that rack up lives for Italian plumbers? How could they not? But even if it isn't a nod to Super Mario Bros. the Ravanello will fit nicely into any culinary artist or food tinkerer's toolbox.

Color Muse for DIY Paint Match $59. The Color Muse claims accurate color matching to name brand paints, tile, floor covering, and other home products from scans of most any surface. Painted walls, leather jackets, canvas couches, shag carpets, whatever you got that can fit within its 1" lens. Once a surface is scanned, the Color Muse pairs with a free app to present a list and palette of matching complementary colors, plus their names and manufacturers.

The Original Egg-Bot - CNC Art Robot Kit $200. An open-source CNC robot that can deck out a ton of different spherical or oblong objects that typically turn out horrible when you try to draw or print on them. The Egg-Bot stabilizing arm holds items ranging from 1-1/4" to 4-1/4", or ping pong ball to grapefruit-sized, so she can also deck out a Christmas ornament, a light bulb, a golf ball, even a wine glass.

Silhouette Cameo Electronic Cutting Tool $240. The Silhouette Cameo is for crafty people. Crafty people who want to electronically cut their own intricately-designed greeting cards and cupcake papers. Or crafty people who want to DIY a perfect, mathematically accurate yellow bat for their Comic-Con Dark Knight costume. A personal slicing and drawing tool, the Cameo can assist in the creation of projects made from paper, cardstock, vinyl, and fabric.

VegTrug Urban Vegetable Planter $275. A self-contained raised vegetable (and fruit, depending on the fruit) garden suitable for small backyards, large balconies, back decks, or anywhere you don't have the space or grass to cultivate decent grub in the ground. The VegTrug shown here is the company's Medium size, able to hold 7 x 60L bags of compost. It's 71" long x 31" wide x 30" tall, the latter for a waist-level work height that also makes the planter a nice option for the elderly, wheelchair users, or anyone who doesn't want to spend hours bent over and kneeling.

Gifts of Gold, Glitz, Gems & Cuddles

Soap Rocks $13 and up. Gettin' so fresh and so clean with Lapus Lazuli. Scrubbin' down with a fine hunk of green garnet. Washin' away your sins with a bar of Black Onyx. You can probably score just as many points giving Soap Rocks as a gift to your lady as you can giving her the real stone versions as earrings or a necklace. I mean, look at them. Even I have to admit they sure are purrrrrdy.

Reversible Sequin Mermaid Pillows $15. Each of these pillows is like a tactile Etch-A-Sketch made from a drag queen's donations to Goodwill! They're covered in two-sided, two-toned sequins that will flip when she runs her hands and fingers along them. She'll mesmerize herself creating shiny purple patches in blue and gold ripples in black, or focus her efforts on drawing deliberate designs and messages on the pillow's surface.

Steel Self Defense Bracelet $30. Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way. Luckily, the hefty links and their dragon's head clasp work just fine as a bracelet, or a necklace, or a waist chain too. And speaking of luck, maker Phoenix Outdoor says the dragon can serve as an amulet to bring some of that her way during wear.

Secret Jewels Hidden Jewelry Candles $30. Whether it's wife, girlfriend, Mama, Grandma, sister, daughter, or hostess you can't really go wrong with a Secret Jewels Candle. It combines every single thing women love, except babies and puppies, in a neat little package that's not even too big of a pain in the A to wrap. Things that look girly and pretty. Things that smell good. Things that create ambience. Things that glow. And, most of all, things that sparkle. Foil-wrapped inside every Secret Jewels cylinder of 100% hand-poured soy is a piece of jewelry, a shiny necklace, ring, bracelet, or earrings for the lady to eagerly anticipate and ooooh, aaaahhhh over when the candle burns down far enough to reveal it.

Giant Talking Chewbacca $68. One of those gifts that will make her wonder if you got it for her or for you. But it's still less offensive than wrinkle cream or one of those exercise bikes you can pedal under your desk. The giant Chewbacca plush toy measures in at a formidable 24" tall x 15" wide. And when you press on his stomach, he growls.

The Magic Weighted Blanket $114 and up. Made of baby-bunny-soft chenille, the Magic Weighted Blanket calls itself "The blanket that hugs you back." It's filled with poly pellets to add a level of pressure when we wrap up in it that our brains often associate with comfort and security. Weighted blankets got their start amongst people with conditions such as sensory integration disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Rett Syndrome. But they can be beneficial to a much wider range of people, with some finding the added weight helps them sleep, and others covering up to calm down, relieve anxiety, or meditate.

Sexy Gifts

Pornogami $15. Here we have a book about one of my favorite topics. Yeah, that's right. Origami. If you know a lady also into...origami...she will probably like this book.

Vibrating Panties $16. This O-toy set includes a C-shaped vibrator that slips like a partial thong over a lady's crotchal region. It's covered in a soft fabric that's removable for cleaning. Vibration activation and intensity comes courtesy of a remote control with a 5- to 10-meter range, so partners can team up for vibrating panties use in the bedroom, or during the kids' otherwise cold and unending Tuesday night soccer game.

Love is Art - Roll in the Hay Paint Kit $60. Forget dexterity with a brush or Sex Paint by Numbers. Love Is Art pieces are abstract statements of love. The sets include a large plastic sheet couples lay out on a flat surface, and top with a specially treated non-allergenic white cotton canvas. A 4-ounce bottle of black, non-toxic, washable paint dotted or streaked on the canvas, and then spread about in the most the most delightful of ways creates your finished metaphysical masterpiece. No skills...uh...no painting skills required.

The Womanizer $120 to $180. Ladies and their lady parts must really like this Womanizer contraption and its suction cuppy O-face of a tip because this is one sex toy I keep: 1) reading about in major publications; 2) hearing all my fiancee's girlfriends whooping about when she hosts their Bunko & Wine nights; and 3) getting all-I-want-for-Christmas hints about from my own fiancee. I'm not sure if I should be more insulted that she wants me to buy her a vibrator, or that she wants me to buy her a vibrator that costs over $100. Then again, when something comes with a "100% Orgasm Guarantee" I guess steep surges in both female desire and price tag are to be expected.

Still haven't seen something for all the ladies on your list this year? Check out a few hundred more ideas in Dude's Gifts for Women gift guide.

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