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Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

By: on December 06, 2012
$21
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I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended for she who is great with child, as a reminder that there is one (and only one) good thing about being preggo, but whatever, I say any girl genetically predisposed to awesomeness should buy one. For each day of the week. I will be sending lovingly wrapped boxes of Yay Cleavage T-Shirts to Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara for Christmas this year. Shhh! Don't tell them though. They always await my gifts with such anticipation, and I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Kudos to cleavage runs across 100% cotton American Apparel T-Shirts available in sizes XS to XL. Design and printing are done by Raygun out of--now this is unexpected--Des Moines, Iowa. Not Southern California or Miami. I guess all that corn-fedness makes for some buxom farm girls. Or explains why they went with the get-pregnant-get-a-big-rack angle.

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Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...

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Big Book of Big Breasts 3D (NSFW)

$42.25 - $55.89 from Amazon »

I spent most of the day contemplating how I might discuss The Big Book of Breasts 3D with the great respect and deference I feel for it and its contents, but without sounding too dry, detached, or clinical. Unfortunately...

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F-Cup Cookies

F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...

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Color My Boobs Adult Coloring Book

$9.99 from Amazon »

Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically...

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Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

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Book of Things Better Than Boobs

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Part of me wants to tell you what's inside the Book of Things Better Than Boobs so you'll get why it's so brilliant, but part of me wants to let you find out for yourself so you'll experience why it's so brilliant. I...

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Boobs Ice Luge

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And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Up - The Don't Slouch T-Shirt

$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and...

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Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

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Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt

I just...I can't...I...what the butt, Japan?! The Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt baffles me on so many levels. First, why is the butt positioned so that it's exploding out of the wearer's chest Alien-style? Why is it on...

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Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 from Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...

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The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions

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According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...