Cologne

Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne

"Steel on steel on rubber on road." And also some sweetness and spice so you won't make the ladies gag. Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne seeks to bottle the essence of racing so you can enjoy your fast and furious experiences...

Sure F**k Cologne

$24.75 from Amazon »

Sure Fuck Cologne is a self-described "cool fresh manly scent that thrusts women into a crazy hot SEXUAL FRENZY!" Whoa. That's specific. They even put "sexual frenzy" in all caps like it is when I think it over and over...

Swallowable Parfum

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that, when ingested, releases perfumed scents through its host's pores. So instead of spritzing dewy showers of juniper and orange blossom onto your body, you'll be able to sweat aromatic...

Sex Panther Cologne

$34 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good...

Erox Arousal Body Spray

$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Spicebomb Cologne

$61.56 - $82.26 from Amazon »

To me, the idea of smelling like a bomb of anything connotes an unpleasantly strong and cloying odor, and when I think of a bomb of spices all that comes to mind are the scents that permeate my clothes, my hair, my skin...

Star Trek Sulu Pour Homme Cologne

$59.99 from Amazon »

Hikaru Sulu: master of botany. Of gymnastics. Of ancient weaponry. Of advanced starship manipulation. And now, of perfume. The logical next step. Excelsior! Onward and upward!...

Campfire Cologne

$12.95 from Antler & Co. »

Campfire Cologne. In case a scruffy beard, lumberjack button-up, and logger sports on the Outdoor Network aren't enough to satiate you during the winter months when your favorite campgrounds are covered in snow. In case...

The Scent of Departure

Probably the 20 cities essenced and bottled in the Scent of Departure unisex cologne line are real-life olfactory dreams. Mmm, Jovial Munich, hinting of fat yeasty pretzels and vats of malt and hops. Spicy Budapest, with...

Zombie Cologne

$20 - $39.50 from Demeter »

It seems to me that smelling like a zombie would not bode well for one's interactions with humans. I imagine the scents of Demeter's Zombie for Him and Zombie for Her incorporate a rank melange of decaying organic matter...

Play-Doh Cologne Spray

Sold Out from Amazon »

Damn son. If you're the kind of guy that wears cologne, then this is the perfect cologne for you. Makes you smell like a little kid again, which is really the only time you should wear cologne....