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F**k Me Perfume

By: on October 28, 2015
$26
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In the words of the great Marcy Playground, "I smell sex and can-dy." Or is that sex and cran-ber-ries? With tonka mousse and a hint of Tuscan blood orange. From the perfumers and the sexologists who brought you Sure Fuck Cologne comes a sister scent, the scent still of sweet fornication, but this time brewed for the ladies. Fuck Me is an Eau de Parfum for the girl who isn't getting laid every night, but wants to be. Fuck Me is also a swell bachelorette party or gag gift. Fuck Me is also a fun thing to give to your wife or girlfriend when you want to send her a hint with a bow on it. You know, that she should want to have more sex. Or that she smells bad.

Sure Fuck Eau de Parfum sells as a spray in 2-ounce bottles. It is also available in a discounted lovers' bundle of Fuck Me and Sure Fuck for all the couples interested in exploring their scent whoredom together.

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Swearball invites you to "Give a flying F*%K." In fact, fling one. Hard. Inside this soft, squishy, grapefruit-sized ball lies a recordable sound module. Squeeze the ball to activate it, unleash up to 20 seconds of insults...

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Smell of Data - Internet Data Leak Alert Device

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If Breaking Bad didn't provide enough of an education, How to Be a Drug Dealer should fill in any gaps left in your study to achieve proficiency and realize success in your pursuit of the street pharmacist profession....

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Conor McGregor F*ck You Pinstripe Suit

$6,500 from David August »

I don't know how long the rest of the world will remember the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight after it's over, but anyone who drops $6,500 on a David August Fuck You pinstripe suit like the one McGregor wore...

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

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These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...

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Pencil Time Pencils

$2.75 from Sharing Machine »

Do you know what time it is? ... It's Mother Fucking Pencil Time! Going back to school? It's Mother Fucking Pencil Time! Leaving the kids a list of chores? It's Mother Fucking Pencil Time! Filling out your order at Umami...

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Sure F**k Cologne

$24.75 from Amazon »

Sure Fuck Cologne is a self-described "cool fresh manly scent that thrusts women into a crazy hot SEXUAL FRENZY!" Whoa. That's specific. They even put "sexual frenzy" in all caps like it is when I think it over and over...

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Lewd and Obscene Party Game

$24.99 from Lewd and Obscene »

Lewd and Obscene, according to creator Anthony Annese, is what would happen "if Urban Dictionary and Balderdash had a one night stand and the condom broke." Testament #1 to the validity of that statement: mentally rotate...

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Spray the Bi*ch Away Aromatherapy Perfume

$23.95 from Amazon »

Dude. When I saw the name "Spray the Bitch Away" for this bottle of aromatherapy perfume I thought it was for men with mean wives and girlfriends, or crazy exes. I thought it would be the perfect Anti-Valentine's Day...

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A is for Anus: The Alphabet (For Adults)

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This alphabet isn't adult just because A is for Anus, but also because of the accompanying anatomical representation author Max Willy has selected to make sure everyone knows what an anus is. Stick out your pointer finger...