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Spray the Bi*ch Away Aromatherapy Perfume

By: on February 05, 2017
$23.50
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Dude. When I saw the name "Spray the Bitch Away" for this bottle of aromatherapy perfume I thought it was for men with mean wives and girlfriends, or crazy exes. I thought it would be the perfect Anti-Valentine's Day gift for a dude. But really the soothing lavender-based relaxation spray is for a woman to use when she's "irritated, pissed off, annoyed, tired, peeved, frustrated, enraged, and ha[s] an overall bad attitude!"

So equally offensive to the ladies, particularly if you gift your girlfriend a way to Spray the Bitch Away.

In addition to lavender, the aromatherapy mashup contains bergamot, clary sage, geranium, frankincense, myrrh, and coconut. Shake well before using. Shouldn't be too hard to remember since you'll be bitching out when you grab for it.

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Insect Shield Mail-in Bug Repellent Clothing Treatment

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Oh man, between the Jesus drink markers and this bottle of Retard spray, it's a day of low-hanging fruit in my world. No, more accurately in this case, low-hanging johnsons. No, people who power trip on being offended...

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Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Le Labo says, "Sure, Thomas Edison gave us light, but he didn't include a nebulizer to transform our Santal 26 fragrance oil into a fine mist to spread both light and perfume into your home." Which is crazy because I...

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OK, She-Ra: Princess of Power, I will get you a cascading waterfall of burning incense for Valentine's Day if you promise not to use the thing as a cauldron and Double, double toil and trouble a hex on me when you find...

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Yank Me Candles

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Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...

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Solaris Lockstone Fragrance Bracelets

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Sexes, styles, and personas collide in the Solaris Lockstone braceleta. These pieces give a nod to the night sky encircling wrists with a choice of dark and dreamy semi-precious stones leading to a series of personal...

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Luminol Spray

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This 2 oz. bottle of Luminol contains the exact formula used worldwide by Crime Scene Investigators. The way you get its blue chemiluminescence to show is simple. 1) Bleed all over something. 2) Clean it up. 3) Spray...

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If you weren't crowned winner of our Pet Jellyfish Tank Giveaway, or are like me and don't have much success keeping alive things in your care alive, this LED jellyfish mood lamp could be the non-living companion of your...

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Thync Mood-Altering Headpiece

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When asked to describe their startup, Thync, in 3 words founders Isy Goldwasser and Dr. Jamie Tyler go with "How good feels." That's a relief. Because when I look at the sliver of wearable tech stamped on that dude's...