Spray the Bi*ch Away Aromatherapy Perfume
Dude. When I saw the name "Spray the Bitch Away" for this bottle of aromatherapy perfume I thought it was for men with mean wives and girlfriends, or crazy exes. I thought it would be the perfect Anti-Valentine's Day gift for a dude. But really the soothing lavender-based relaxation spray is for a woman to use when she's "irritated, pissed off, annoyed, tired, peeved, frustrated, enraged, and ha[s] an overall bad attitude!"
So equally offensive to the ladies, particularly if you gift your girlfriend a way to Spray the Bitch Away.
In addition to lavender, the aromatherapy mashup contains bergamot, clary sage, geranium, frankincense, myrrh, and coconut. Shake well before using. Shouldn't be too hard to remember since you'll be bitching out when you grab for it.