Campfire Cologne. In case a scruffy beard, lumberjack button-up, and logger sports on the Outdoor Network aren't enough to satiate you during the winter months when your favorite campgrounds are covered in snow. In case your wife made you replace your wood-burning fireplace with a spic-and-span, ultra-modern gas insert. In case you are at war with the hippies in the park who substitute drowning themselves in patchouli for showering. In case you just want to smell like smoke. Because smoke smells like MAN! And also BBQ pork.
Campire Cologne is easy to use in the sense that it won't make you stab yourself in the eye with a Pental Rolling Writer like navigating a government Website will, but admittedly requires more steps and effort to extract than traditional spritz bottles of Eau de Ladies Come Running. In answer to the inquiry, "How can I improve my aroma with Campfire Cologne?" maker Antler & Co. recommends:
- Decide what intensity of chick magnet you desire to be, and select the corresponding number of sticks from the Campfire Cologne box.
- Obtain and strike a match (yes, this is where the cologne's true ease of use gets called into question). Hold it to the awaiting tinder until the latter alights.
- Just before the teeming smoke begins the asphyxiation process, extinguish the flame.
- Waft the billowing essence towards you, particularly towards hair follicles protracting from the head, face, and nostrils.
- Stand taller. You now smell like a campfire and, ergo, a man.
Muchas danke to Mitch T. for the product suggestion.