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Sex Panther Cologne

By: on August 27, 2011
$37.95
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I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good odds.

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Spray the Bi*ch Away Aromatherapy Perfume

$23.50 from Amazon »

Dude. When I saw the name "Spray the Bitch Away" for this bottle of aromatherapy perfume I thought it was for men with mean wives and girlfriends, or crazy exes. I thought it would be the perfect Anti-Valentine's Day...

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Sure F**k Cologne

$24.75 from Amazon »

Sure Fuck Cologne is a self-described "cool fresh manly scent that thrusts women into a crazy hot SEXUAL FRENZY!" Whoa. That's specific. They even put "sexual frenzy" in all caps like it is when I think it over and over...

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Solaris Lockstone Fragrance Bracelets

$49.18 - $79.93 from Vanacci »

Sexes, styles, and personas collide in the Solaris Lockstone braceleta. These pieces give a nod to the night sky encircling wrists with a choice of dark and dreamy semi-precious stones leading to a series of personal...

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55-Gallon Barrel of Lube

$1,471.38 from Amazon »

The most disturbing thing about a 55-gallon barrel of lube is not so much that it's a flippin' 55-gallon barrel of lube, but that a 55-gallon barrel of lube costs over $2,000. I mean, I know people want to have this sort...

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Nasal Nausea - Military-Grade Stink Solution

$19.99 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea...

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Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne

"Steel on steel on rubber on road." And also some sweetness and spice so you won't make the ladies gag. Sunoco Burnt Rubber Cologne seeks to bottle the essence of racing so you can enjoy your fast and furious experiences...

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Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser Necklaces

$14.99 - $15.99 from Amazon »

Here's a cheap thoughtful gift for your lady Valentine. Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser Necklaces have floral filigree designs crafted as lockets in the symbols of love (heart), wisdom (owl), we're breaking up (teardrop)...

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Swallowable Parfum

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that, when ingested, releases perfumed scents through its host's pores. So instead of spritzing dewy showers of juniper and orange blossom onto your body, you'll be able to sweat aromatic...

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F**k Me Perfume

$26 from Amazon »

In the words of the great Marcy Playground, "I smell sex and can-dy." Or is that sex and cran-ber-ries? With tonka mousse and a hint of Tuscan blood orange. From the perfumers and the sexologists who brought you Sure...

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Erox Arousal Body Spray

$59.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

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Archer Macho-Scented Room Sprays

$14 from archer »

Archer's macho-scented room sprays have a lofty goal: putting a positive spin on the statement that a place smells like 5 guys living in a 2-bedroom apartment. Can they succeed? I don't know, but hauling out scents such...

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Ron Burgundy LEGO Minifigure

$17 from Etsy »

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.... I don't know what I like more: that Etsy vendor Albert Hernandi of miniBIGS made a LEGO Ron Burgundy minifig, or that he made a LEGO Scotch...