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Star Wars Gummies

By: on May 16, 2013
$5 - $25
from
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A Death Star that blows up your mouth, not your planet. ZOMGnomnomnom's gummy Star Wars candies come in standard bear flavors and colors, but trade in the ursine molds for those of superlaser-shooting globes, Darth Vaders, R2D2s, Han Solos in Carbonite, Millennium Falcons, and Stormtroopers. All sugar rush shapes are available in both gummy and chocolate forms, the latter also boasting gooey peanut butter or crunchy cookie centers. Check out the behemoth R2D2, a bad boy weighing in at around 1-1/2 pounds. Suck on that, Dark Chocolate Sriracha Bunny!

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Motion Activated Candy Dispenser

$59.99 from Amazon »

I do appreciate that a motion activated candy dispenser means touchless operation and, therefore, no transfer of germs between all the grimy hands that would otherwise be cranking the metal knob, opening the lid, and...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit

$79 from Amazon »

Want your kids to learn a littleBits about tech as you secretly relish the interactive R2-D2 they're building? The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit hit littleBits shelves just in time for Force Friday II....

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26-Pound Gummy Python

$149.99 from Vat 19 »

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...

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Chocolate Candy Bar Maker

$30.36 from Amazon »

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' husband! No one's getting their hands on the Chocolate Candy Bar Maker but me! Chocolate's loyal, and gluttonous, and selfish little whore slave. No, redact that redaction. Whore!...

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R2D2 Bodysuit

$170 from Etsy »

The march towards October 31st continues. The night of ghouls in glowing eyes and dripping blood, and girls in latex and 5" thigh-high boots. Of bodies dead and decaying, and bodies half naked, well-endowed, and making...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Bulk Single Flavor Candy

$10.99 - $50.98 from Amazon »

Mama! I said I only want the Cherry Starburst! Only the Cherries! Ahhh, just remembering the days when my mama had to toil over picking out all the good Starburst, Skittles, and Tootsie Pop flavors for me. The days before...

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Star Wars Death Star Toaster

$65.54 from The Fowndry »

This Death Star is armed with 7,293 TIE Fighters, and it's ready to deploy them onto your sliced bread. In toaster form, it's also the perfect solution to mornings you're in a rush and don't have time to craft a complete...

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10-Pound Toblerone Bar

$133.59 from Amazon »

Toblerone has built 45, 100-gram servings into their 10-pound mountain range of chocolate, honey, and almond nougat. That's:...

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Star Wars Death Star Levitating Speaker

$192 from The Fowndry »

The Death Star Levitating Speaker doesn't so much pose the question of how hard you'll rock out while listening to it as it does the more philosophical question of how hard occupants of the Death Star rocked out while...

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Leather Star Wars Hats

$149.99 - $594.99 from Etsy »

Swans have a reputation for both beauty and aggression, and I think The Blonde Swan nails both with her lavishly brash Star Wars-themed leather hats. All come out of Swan Elisabeth Martin's custom Victorian milliner's...