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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

By: on November 04, 2011
$7.99
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What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term threat to the great Wonka, diversifies vertically here with his first foray into the candy business. And we think he has a winner on his hands. I see stockings overflowing with chocolate this Christmas. Yes, I do.

Diabetic? Don't worry. Jabba is a businessman and he wants to tap every demographic. Checkout the Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite Ice Cube Trays. Still waiting on some Slave Leia products to salivate over.

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Star Wars First Order AR Stormtrooper Robot

$299.99 from Amazon »

UBTECH's First Order Stormtrooper arrives trained (built-in AR features), armed (app-enabled), and ready for the Dark Lord's (that's you) commands. Aspiring Vaders can interact with the robot using voice commands, and...

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Edible Anus Chocolates

$7.32 from Amazon »

Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...

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The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet

$200 from Anovos »

The good news is this is the first ever Standard Line version of a Star Wars: The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet, and you can have one for $200 ($249.95 if you wait until October 1 to order). That bad news...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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Rebel Bass Guitar

$945 - $1,325 from Doni Guitars »

No longer must you search the galaxy to find this Rebel Bass, but you will have to wait at least 3 months to get it. Last Fall, after photos of his custom Star Wars guitars had gone viral online, Englishman Doni opened...

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Boba Fett Motorcycle Helmet

Unlike a few selections in this slideshow of sick motorcycle helmets, you can probably wear HJC's new RPHA 11 Boba Fett helmet without getting laughed off the road (it's an obvious, but not over-the-top Star Wars circus...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...