Gear

If we can teach rats to run mazes and cows to jump over moons, why not teach fish to kick a soccer ball or swim through hoops? The R2 Fish School Fish Training Kit, developed by master trainer of the gilled ones Dr. Dean...

Since I have the bladder of a camel (and the strength of an ox and the valor of a lion and the manly aggression of a rhino and the heart-melting adorability of a baby polar bear) I don't really need an app to tell me...

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with...

One way to make others jump out of their skin is to jump out of yours. This Unzipped Flesh look requires some legwork and talent to pull off, but look at the striking levels of gruesomeness and morbidity one can achieve...

Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its...

This butterfly won't cut a bitch, but at least it's legal in all 50 states! And while Benchmade's Bali-Song USB flash drive may downgrade its physical weapon attributes by removing the knife, it upgrades its intellectual...

The story never changes: in all successful relationships, communication is key. When another human being makes you feel thankful, it is important to express that gratitude. And what better way to say "Thank you" than...

Good news, Ralphie Parker. The whole point of the Mace Pepper Gun is to shoot an eye out. Using patented Bag-in-a-Can technology--ooh, that sounds...the opposite of intimidating--the pistol's system enables loaded cartridges...

I'm imagining how much toxic air I could intake, and how many zombies I could Sucker Punch in this kick ass leather and aluminum Defender Gas Mask. Pretty sure the total is zero, but I'm going to look so damn cool getting...

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense...

"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs...

Richard Nagy, aka "Datamancer", specializes in handcrafted steampunk and retro-Victorian keyboards. His latest model, the Diviner, combines the two for an elegant assemblage of red mahogany woodwork and microchips. With...

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Like most people, when I think of ukuleles, I also think of a dark, industrial, post-apocalyptic society characterized by gears, studs, and other metal accoutrements. So it's about damn time someone crafted a Steampunk...

Just as we can never have too many paparazzi photos of female celebrities in short dresses with no underwear climbing out of their cars, it seems neither can we have too many ways in which to capture these riveting moments...

The days of old school Nintendo Zappers and Duck Hunt have come full circle. Except this time the Zapper is souped up with a 2W+ blue laser, and can blast real ducks. Or at least light paper ducks on fire. DIY extraordinaires...

TrekDesk. For if you're insanely efficient. Or always making excuses. If vertical treadmills and the monotony of conveyor belting aimlessly at the gym aren't your thing. If you have restless leg syndrome. If you are a...

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes...

Using the word "slab" to describe something as elegant as these solid wood keyboards seems a little unflattering, but they are indeed QWERTY masterpieces carved from a single slab of either maple or walnut. Designer Oree...

The Popinator, a voice-activated device that launches a kernel of popcorn from its spout to your mouth at the sound of the word Pop!, may not be in production yet, but a once-over of the video makes it fairly clear that...

About. Damn. Time. I hate this little prick. I could throw darts at Joffrey Baratheon's face all day long. I mean, I could shoot at it too, but my aim isn't so hot, and it would be a bummer to miss and hit someone I don't...

Gloves with finger pads for smartphone touch screens have officially been around long enough for this hi-Call glove handset to debut and just annihilate them on the awesome meter. Powered by Bluetooth, the left glove...

Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying...

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people...