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Light Cycle 2.0 Glow-Core Wedding Ring

$195 Etsy »

You can't have a TRON Light Cycle (at least not anymore, you could a few years ago) but if you're a good fiance, and show up at the altar on time...or maybe just at all...you can have a Light Cycle 2.0 Glow-Core Wedding...

Seinfeld x Percival Clothing Collection

$67 - $385 Percival »

Puffy shirt not included. The Seinfeld x Percival limited edition clothing collection takes its (sable Russian) hat off to the sitcom, and the 25th anniversary of the final Seinfeld episode's airing...

Slap Luggage Tag

Children of the 90s who grew up to be world travelers, check it out. No, slap it out. It's a luggage tag for an entire generation. Kikkerland's Slap Luggage Tag turns the iconic slap bracelet into a piece of personal...

Retro Sunglasses With Secret Compartments

$24.79 Etsy »

The Retro Sunglasses With Secret Compartments don't come right out and say the secret compartments are secret joint compartments, but come on. The secret compartments are inside the long, tubey temple ends of the sunglasses...

National Parks Aprons

Yo, Semite Joshua, these are some Grand Yellow National Parks Aprons from Hedley & Bennett. Use them for cooking or grilling, give them as gifts to Mom or Dad, or snag one for yourself as a reminder of childhood trips...

Make Me Pretty Lighter Cases

$20 - $25 Make Me Pretty »

Ladies with large purses, Make Me Pretty Lighter Cases are calling to you. They're saying, Hey! Don't you need something superfluous and extra bulky to help fill that thing up? Not only can we double...triple...quadruple!...

NO Sunglasses

$11.99 Amazon »

I don't got NO Sunglasses, and I don't want NO Sunglasses. What am I, a contrarian? ... Nevermind, don't answer that...

Black Dragon Backpack

Looks like Puff the Magic Dragon puffed himself to make this Black Dragon Backpack. Oh wait, nevermind. It says the bag is made from "eco leather," not real dragon skin, so Puff is probably fine...

Anti-Tracking Rearview Mirror Sunglasses

$17.99 Amazon »

You won't just look slick in these shades, you'll be performing slick tricks of "I see you, smarmo!" on anyone who might be tailing you, thanks to the sunglasses' anti-tracking mirror coating. They're basically mirrored...

Bubba Goose Design Duffel Bags

$140 - $200 Bubba Goose Design »

Born in Seattle, WA in Summer 2022, Bubba Goose Design is about to turn 1 year old. Their lightweight, heavy-duty duffel bags are designed by Delian Scudder, a 20-year veteran of product development for the US Military...

Razersuperfuture Gamer Sunglasses

I know what you're thinking about Razersuperfutures, a collaboration between Razer and Retrosuperfuture to create so-called "gamer sunglasses." You're thinking, When do gamers ever go out in the sun? Well, don't worry...

Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection

$80 - $195 Frankies Bikinis »

The Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection drops at noon ET on May 4, 2023, and all I've got to say about this collaboration between the smokin' hot 55-year-old Baywatch star and the smokin' hot swimsuit brand...

Keiri Belt Bra

$230 Are You Ami »

The Keiri Bra, a bra that looks like a belt, right down to the way it "cinches" ladies' bust lines by squishing, squashing, and smashing their boobies flat. Now, I get why ladies might want support and containment in...

Electric Guitar Scissors

$27 - $42 Amazon »

What better to shred with than a pair of Electric Guitar Scissors? Yeah, OK, a paper shredder. But what if you want to do it by hand, show off your craft, prove you're a real virtuoso? Put the Electric Guitar Scissors...

Skull Sandals

$15.99 - $24.99 Amazon »

Squishy, spiny, toothy, fruity, and now spooky. Cartoonish sandals are making a run for the Shoe of the Summer, or perhaps Shoe of the Shower, title. These Skull Sandals are one-piece molded EVA slides suitable for wear...

Hollow Massage Sandals & Shower Shoes

$27.25 Amazon »

I don't think these hollow-soled massage sandals / shower shoes were 3D printed, but they sure do look like they belong at a family reunion with footwear that was. Zellerfelds. The Cryptide Adidas 4DFWDs. But, hey, if...

Denim Bikinis

$29.99 Amazon »

You might look at these Denim Bikinis and think, "Hot." I, however, look at these Denim Bikinis and think, "Don't forget the Redneck Boot Sandals, ladies!" Don't get me wrong, I too find them...well, some of them...reasonably...

Lacoste Netflix Polo Shirt Collection

$120 Netflix »

The Lacoste Crocodile has gotten a makeover. Eight of them, actually, courtesy of Netflix and its series Stranger Things, The Witcher, Bridgerton, Shadow & Bone, Sex Education, Lupin, Money Heist, and Elite...

Nintendo Baby Teethers

$9.95 Amazon »

I mean, I know Game Boys and NES controllers aren't common household items anymore, but won't giving your kids Nintendo Baby Teethers teach them to chew on all your handheld gaming devices and video game console accessories?...

Hostage Tape - Mouth Tape for Better Sleep

We've always known mouth breathers are weirdos, but according to Hostage Tape, they are also the worst snorers. Sleep apnea and low blood oxygen levels plague them too. So maybe it's the never getting a good night's sleep...

Loewe Pixelated Clothing

$590 - $3,400 Loewe »

No, not Lowe's. Unfortunately, because then the Pixelated Clothing collection might be reasonably priced and rugged enough to hang drywall in. But this is Loewe, Spanish luxury fashion house, and designers of 8bit denim...

Denim Thong Underwear

$34 Etsy »

I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having...

Banana Flip-Flops

$21.99 Amazon »

These Banana Flip-Flops better be non-slip. On the outside and on the inside. Because they may be fruity and fun to look at, but if this dude is going to wear a bunch of bananas on his feet, I need a guarantee they're...

QuietFrames - Visual-Noise-Cancelling Glasses

$299 QuietFrames »

QuietFrames are for when there are too many sights to behold, too many stimuli catching your eye, too much visual noise. QuietFrames are Swedish-designed eyeglasses that claim to be an "innovation for visual noise reduction."...