$86 - $186 Etsy »

Not only do these wall-mounted bicycle holders from PARAX take up virtually no space in your home (though the same can't be said for your bike itself) they look almost artful doing it. PARAX's S-RACK and L-RACK model of bike holder further ingratiate themselves as essential summer gear for the minimalist...

Giant Wood S'mores Station

$165 Etsy »

You want s'more s'mores? OK, dude, here's the fixin's for about five hundred of the graham sandwiched chocolatey-marshmallow campfire treats, courtesy of Reclaim and Refurbish's giant wood s'mores station...

Speedland SL:PDX Trail Running Shoes

$375 Speedland »

I don't know if Speedland's SL:PDX trail running shoes will up your trail running game, but the Portland brand's high-performance, modifiable footwear will certainly up your mint green fashion game...

WARNING: A couple of the personalized gifts in my 15-strong collection of personalized gifts aren't just disturbing, they're a little NSFW. And the last one is both very disturbing and very NSFW. Because when I say "personalized gifts" I do mean gifts made in a person's likeness, but not necessarily...

ChickenStone - Roast a Whole Bird in Half the Time

Um. Are you sure, ChickenStone, you wouldn't rather be called CockStone? I mean, I know I'm immature and all, but what human person could consider the ChickenStone's function - to roast a whole bird 50% faster than normal...

Edible Food Crayons Seasonings & Condiments

$15.25 - $55.05 Etsy »

Edible Crayons? Edible Crayons?! Everything my mama taught me as a kid - namely, what she taught me not to eat - is going out the window. Joining Edible Birthday Candles and Edible Printer Paper, we now have Food Crayons...

RampShot Backyard Game

$69.99 Amazon »

RampShot calls its backyard game - or beach game, or park game, or tailgate game - "cornhole on steroids," and I don't know if that intrigues or intimidates me. I mean, I once got a black eye from playing your plain ol'...

X Rocker Pro H3 Vibrating Gaming Chair

$239 Amazon »

Hey, who put a quarter in my gaming chair? X Rocker's Pro H3 Vibrating Gaming Chair probably caters to gamers too young to get that joke...or adults who aren't really in the market for getting laid anyway...but when can...

The Buttress Pillow Mini Butt Keychain

$9.90 Amazon »

Wait, I thought the trend was for butts to get bigger, not smaller, but here The Buttress Pillow goes shrinking their pinchable, squeezable ass down into the Mini Butt Keychain. Maybe it's a fair trade-off though: less...

TILI Minimalist Fixed-Blade Pocket Knife

$72 - $138 Kickstarter »

TILI. Rhymes with "lily." But this fixed-blade pocket knife ain't no pretty, sweet-smelling flower. Well I mean, it is kind of pretty, and while I doubt the blade has any sort of floral aromas to it, if you like the scent...

hOmeLabs Chill Pill Countertop Ice Maker

$129.99 Amazon »

There are so many countertop ice makers out there right now. I've even written about 3 of them, the Opal Nugget Ice Maker being the most memorable. Until now. hOmeLabs did themselves a great service in cube design and...

Star Wars Darth Vader 1oz Silver Coin

$75.33 Amazon »

This Star Wars Darth Vader Coin isn't just made of 1 ounce of pure silver, it's made by a real, functional mint - the New Zealand Mint - for a real, functional country - Niue!...

E101: What Is This Thing?

$23.19 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 101 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

KEA KIT Outdoor Survival System

$129 - $136 beREDI Outdoors »

Get a leg up on nature with the KEA KIT outdoor survival system. KEA KIT. KEA KIT. That's an interesting name. Please tell me there's no assembly required for proper use. That I don't have to follow obscure line drawing...

Reef Spackler Golf Sandal

Not sure about the flip-flops part, but Reef's Spackler Golf Sandals aren't wrong in suggesting golf and beer go well together. A (very) limited edition release from the brand, the Spackler Golf Sandal builds on Reef's...

Cracker Throw Pillows

$16.49 Amazon »

Check out my cracker throw pillow. Pretty Ritzy, eh? With a handful of realistic 3D designs to choose from, these soda crackers are crackin' me up. They also come in round and rectangular shapes, so you can use your home...

Toilet Paper Origami

$15.95 Amazon »

Where was Toilet Paper Origami hiding when I was compiling my list of 16 products to help you host a better dinner party? Rose-folded t.p. in the shitter?! That would have been #1!...

Mighty Patch Pimple Patch

$12.50 Amazon »

Pimple. Zit. Acne. Pus volcano. Blemish if you're being fancy. The Mighty Patch Pimple Patch destroys them all. At least according to Mighty Patch themselves, who say their medical-grade hydrocolloid sticker "absorbs...

Butter Girl & Boy Butter Keepers & Spreaders

$9.99 Amazon »

I'm not sure these look so much like Butter Girl & Boy Butter Keepers & Spreaders as they do, uh, Butter Voldemort's Children Butter Keepers & Spreaders. Or maybe Butter Kyle from South Park's Little Brother Ike Butter...

Swing Bar

$23k Duffy London »

Oooh, swingers at the bar. Sounds like good times! Oh wait, it's a swing set turned into a bar for people to sit at while they drink. ... Sounds like vomiting!...

Igloo VW Bus Cooler

$49.99 Amazon »

Strangely, Igloo's VW Bus Cooler - a limited edition of their Playmate lunchbox-style coolers - is not the first VW Bus cooler to be released, and not even the first VW Bus cooler I've written about. Just last year we...

Den DIY Cabin Kit

$27k Den »

Den frames - no A-frames - their DIY Cabin Kits like this: "You're truly only limited by how far you want to transport building materials into the woods." In other words, you can build this 115-square-foot tiny cabin...

Oura Ring Personal Health Tracker

$299 Oura Ring »

What's your Oura? Welp, according to the personal health tracker Oura Ring, it's tired, inactive, and slow to recover. Oh boy, another gadget to tell you you're doing life all wrong!...

Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine Pet Carrier

$59.99 Amazon »

Grab a Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine Pet Carrier and load up the Scooby Snacks along with your dog or cat (or other furry or slithery friend) when it's time to solve the mystery of how to transport the little precious to...