$25 Amazon »

If one of the grievances you aired during Festivus last December was slimy soap bars and their bulky plastic travel containers - that invariably let some of the slime slip out into your suitcase or dopp kit - Has Matador got a FlatPak Soap Bar Case for you... [ Read more ▸ ]

Bottletop Baster

$12.99 Amazon »

Turn your bottles of BBQ sauce, salad dressing, and marinades into sex toys for your meat! I mean, there's really no better way to describe the Bottletop Baster. It's a head of tickly silicone bristles that fits onto...

Smells Like WD-40 Cologne

Ready to get into some more MSCHF? Smells Like WD-40 Cologne comes in hot - but very quiet, nary a squeak to be heard - on the heels of the subversive art collective's Big Fruit Loop. And what is it?...

Barebones Edison Mini Lantern

$39.99 Amazon »

The Barebones Edison Mini Lantern predates their latest darling, the Edison Light Stick, by a couple years, but I'd say it's still a darling in its own right. Classic, compact, lightweight, and designed for use indoors...

Garden Tool Handle Knee Pads

$14.99 Amazon »

Knee pads that slip over the handles of your garden tools, now that is a kneet idea! Resourceful too. But...comfortable? I'm not so sure...

Eva Solo Digital Kitchen Scale

$69 Amazon »

X marks the ounces. The pounds. The grams. And the milliliters in Eva Solo's contemporary Digital Kitchen Scale. The Danish design is a minimalist, yet eye-catching, take on standard food scales, with its bright red hue...

Black Bag Porcelain Vase

$109.90 Etsy »

This Black Bag Porcelain Vase is black. Deep, dark matte black, almost the same shade as my ex-girlfriend Karen's heart. (Almost. Hers is even more similar to that Black 3.0, Blackest Paint in the World Black.) So in...

LED Cube Chair

$119.99 Amazon »

Why, LED Cube Chair, you're glowing! ... Are you...pregnant?! No? Full of light, not life? Ah, well, you look beautiful either way...

Shark Bin Felt Laundry Basket

$177.94 Etsy »

And you thought your socks went missing before. Good luck getting any of them back from the Shark Bin. I heard he also likes dirty underwear, and I gotta think Crotchless Yoga Pants are up there too...

Cooking Guide Apron

$25.82 Amazon »

The Cooking Guide Apron was made for all the home chefs and recipe enthusiasts out there who...just can't keep track of how many ounces are in a cup, and how to tell if the steak has hit medium without sawing it open...

Elephant Keychain & Key Holder

$19.90 Amazon »

An elephant never forgets, and with this elephant neither will you. At least not when it comes to where you put your keys, since the elephant end of the Elephant Keychain nestles snugly inside a wall-mounted elephant...

Vurtego V4 Pro - Air-Powered Adult Pogo Stick

$383.54 Amazon »

The Vurtego V4 Pro is one of the few kinds of bouncy, bouncy this dude would never touch. First of all, the air-powered adult pogo stick is designed with an 11+-foot vertical, and as Blood, Sweat & Tears kindly reminds...

Just the Tipsy Sparkling Wine

$37 - $42.99 Just the Tipsy »

I'm dude enough to admit it: I learned about Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose, a sparkling wine served in a bottle shaped like penis, through Chrissy Teigan's Twitter feed about 5 minutes before writing this. Another thing...

Wireless Charging Nightstand with LED Lights

$129.99 Amazon »

Old Captain proves they are hip to modern times and tech with their wireless charging nightstand with built-in LED lights. Available in white or dark brown, the side table features a tempered glass top with wireless charging...

Cashmere Hammer Rattle

$32.72 Etsy »

I've met my fair share of Velvet Hammers in my day (pretty sure I even married one) but this is the first Cashmere Hammer that's crossed my path. Too bad it's a rattle for kids, and would be completely preposterous for...

Japanese-Style Tempura Deep Fryer

$37.99 - $50 Amazon »

Tempura in the morning, tempura in the evening, tempura at suppertime / When you've got a Japanese-style deep fryer, you can have tempura anytime! Perhaps not the best song parody, but I was just considering whether I...

Dometic MoBar 550S Outdoor Mobile Bar Cart

$5,995.95 Williams Sonoma »

Dometic MoBar. It's short for Domestic Mother's Bar, but they changed the name so dads and dudes will want to use it. No, that's not it. OK, they changed it so it wouldn't be so obvious how bad domestic mothers need a...

Red Feather Canned Butter from New Zealand

$29.95 Amazon »

Since New Zealand is better than anywhere else in the world, it stands to reason that butter from New Zealand is also better than butter from anywhere else in the world (no offense to Kerrygold). And lookee what we have...

Swimming Poo - A Video Game Full of Crap

Swimming Poo's STEAM blurb describes it as "a humorous action game," but that's about as full of crap as Swimming Poo itself. Humorous? If your favorite jokes start with "Pull my finger," or "So I was taking a dump the...

E173: What Is This Thing?

$278.41 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 173 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Carhartt Firm Duck Insulated Dog Chore Coat

$39.99 Amazon »

The Carhartt Firm Duck Insulated Dog Chore Coat is for working dogs. Oh, and hipster dogs. Obviously...

ALLEX Super Hard Spring Loaded Scissors

$19.80 Amazon »

Super hard and spring loaded, that's ALLEX Scissors for ya. Hasn't changed a bit since high school, except for maybe bulking up here and there. Growing out of his safety blade into a burly, heavy-duty angled cutter. Replacing...

3D Animal Car Window Decals

$18.59 Etsy »

Honk - no, hoink - if you like pigs busting out the back of car windows! Not all the 3D Animal Car Window Decals in the Andre Valois Shop are as realistic as the cheeky porker you see above, but I've pulled a shortlist...

Bucket Boss Mullet Buster 3-Bag Tool Belt

$84.98 Amazon »

It's a toss-up whether I like the term "Bucket Boss" or "Mullet Buster" more, but put them together? Holy crap, the Bucket Boss Mullet Buster 3-Bag Tool Belt almost makes me want to get a bunch of tools and learn how...