$10.79 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 119 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?... [ Read more ▸ ]

Today
1Sports Car Flip Phone

Sports Car Flip Phone

$39.69 Amazon »

Oh yeah, dudes, it's a Sports Car Flip Phone, and it comes fully loaded. Slots for, not one, but two SIM cards. And it can automatically switch between them to support all of your shady Sports Car Flip Phone dealings...

Today
0Holographic Tracksuit

Holographic Tracksuit

$121.38 Etsy »

My favorite thing about Reflective Clo's description of their Holographic Tracksuit is that one of the first things they call it "cozy." Like, nevermind that it's reflective to the point of being trippy, that it makes...

Star Wars Landspeeder Bowl with Luke & R2-D2 Muglets

$74.99 Amazon »

The only improvement I would make to Geeki Tikis' Star Wars Landspeeder Punch Bowl with Luke & R2-D2 Muglets is engineering the Landspeeder to hover like it does in real life. Er, uh, in movie life. It would be easy...

LEGO Home Alone House

$249.99 LEGO »

This isn't just a LEGO Home Alone House, it's a LEGO Ideas Home Alone House. The original design comes from 26-year-old Alex Storozhuk and, as of November 1, 2021, Kevin McAllister, the Wet Bandits, and all of their holiday...

Dog Harness Hammock for Nail Trimming

$20.06 - $22.85 Etsy »

I'm sure this Dog Harness Hammock is very useful for nail trimming and other grooming tasks, maybe administering medicine or shoving pills down your dog's throat too. Any pet endeavor that requires your dog to remain...

Subpar Parks

$16.41 Amazon »

Subpar Parks: America's Most Extraordinary National Parks and Their Least Impressed Visitors is a tour guide through our country's finest specimens of Mother Nature. It is also a comedic compendium of reviews from people...

Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar

$34.99 Amazon »

"Bonne Maman" translates to "Good ol' Mama," and if my mama got me a 2021 Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar, I'd tell her she's a good ol' mama indeed...

Squid Game Doll Shooting Alarm Clock

$39.95 - $49.95 Zaps Prints »

Red light, green light, wake up! Or prepare for the Squid Game Doll Shooting Alarm Clock to eliminate you. ... OK, she'll just pelt you with a foam bullet, but still. This piece of Squid Game merch might be the creepiest...

Carved Jicaras - Mezcal Drinking Gourds

$30 Etsy »

Despite it being the current hipster spirit of choice, I do love me some mezcal. It is, as ol' Guy Fieri would say, flavor country. Especially pechuga mezcal, which made me gag when I first heard of it, but subsequently...

Corkcicle Star Wars Insulated Tumblers & Canteens

$29.95 - $39.95 Amazon »

Keep your drinks as cold as Hoth and as hot as Mustafar with Corkcicle's Star Wars series of insulated tumblers and canteens. Released in honor of the 40th anniversary of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, the collection...

Scaredy Cat Hot Pot Trivet

$16 OTOTO »

The Scaredy Cat Hot Pot Trivet is arched and ready to pounce! Prepare to have your face clawed off! ... Unless you quick grab that dutch oven full of chili and squash the Scaredy Cat in place...

Laser Vortex Gloves

$125 - $270 Etsy »

I look at these Laser Vortex Gloves from Light Up Clothing Store, and just one thing comes to mind: Cartman's about to get an anal probe*...

Bottle Opener Dog Tags

$14.87 - $17.85 Etsy »

If your dog gets lost wearing a bottle opener dog tag, maybe it's the dog tag's fault. Ol' Gonzo just went out lookin' for a beer and ended up, as my favorite of Firefly Lane Stamping's bottle opener dog tags says, lost...

Nymphaea 3D Wood Cutout Magic Eye Art

Nostalgic art meets contemporary techniques - and DIY - in the woodworking plans for the Nymphaea 3D Wood Cutout. Who remembers the Magic Eye craze of the 90s? (Sit down, Gen Z.) These books of 3D optical illusions...

Squid Game Home Security Camera Concept

While I'm a fan of Netflix's Squid Game series, and fully support the viral craze the twisted kiddie game drama has stirred up, I'm not sure I'd want a Squid Game worker serving as my home security camera. I mean, would...

Casual Strains Cannabis Clothing

Say high to Casual Strains cannabis clothing, T-Shirts and hoodies with cool, contemporary designs that give a nod to cannabis culture, without making those who wear them look like a stereotypical stoner. Each of Casual...

Turkish Terracotta Testi Pot for Slow Cooking

$49.99 Etsy »

Who wants to do a little slow cooking in my Turkish Terracotta Testi Pot? Maybe a nice cream of mushroom soup from the Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes cookbook? Teehee. Teeheehee...

GREATS Foster Closed Back Slipper

$119 GREATS »

GREATS has upgraded their Foster Slipper with a new closed-back version, presumably to compete with the likes of New Balance's CRVN MOCs and, my personal favorite ugly footwear that is so comfortable and versatile I'm...

Hookie Co. Tardigrade Moon Concept Motorcycle

Vroom, vroom! on the Moon, Moon with Hookie Co.'s Tardigrade Motorcycle, a 2-wheeled crater runner the German bike designers are calling "the world's first moon concept motorcycle." And if that sounds loony to you, just...

Submerge Waterproof Wallet & Cardholder

$55 Amazon »

Whether it's in water, snow, sweat, or bulk wrestling Jello, the Submerge waterproof wallet and cardholder lets you do just that. Submerge. Without worrying your cash, cards, keys, and other small EDC will follow the...

HiGrade Bud Analyzing Scope & Potency Test Kit

$63.99 Amazon »

The HiGrade bud analyzing scope & potency test kit means business...for your pleasure. A combination of a leaf-friendly microscope smartphone attachment and app-based subscription service, the HiGrade system uses 3 hi-res...

E118: What Is This Thing?

$328 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 118 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

jelbows Gel Rests for Wrists & Elbows

$16.49 - $21.49 Amazon »

They had me at "jelbows." You dudes know me well enough by now to know it doesn't even matter if these gel rests for your wrists and elbows alleviate joint pain and desktop contact soreness for workers, and WFHomers...