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Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling the glove...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$9.95 from Shittens »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego Batman gloves on my hands as solace. Then again, maybe that level of drama and resultant animosity from my peers isn't even necessary. I think I'll opt instead to make the argument...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate...

Friday, September 2, 2011
$10.33 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect them...

Friday, January 25, 2013
$39.59 from Firebox.com »

Four things to keep in mind, men, when you buy a Smitten, the double handed glove of love, for your wife or girlfriend this Valentine's Day. 1) The Smitten is a glove built for two schmoopy folks' simultaneous use. 2) It is kind of lame and cheesy. 3) Your recipient is going to love it. 4) Because it is a glove built for two, and because she is going to love it, you too are going to have to use...

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