Snittens - The Original Snot Mittens
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First there were mittens, then there were Shittens, and now there are Snittens. Mittens sewn with soft and luxurious fabrics able to absorb 28 times their weight in tears and snot, so the next time you're out in the cold and need to wipe your eyes or blow your nose, you can skip the tissues and the handkerchiefs, the sleeves and the bodily fluid projectiles. With Snittens you can make those waterworks and snot rockets disappear right into your hand.
Whoa. Sounds like Snittens have come to us straight from the Ministry of Magic.
Part novelty gift, part hand sponge, and all Original Snot Mittens, Snittens are a winter warrior's new best friend. Athletes who run, hike, or ski outdoors in the cold, or workers and DIYers who head out there to get shit done, usually end up with watery eyes and runny noses. Snittens provide a quick, accessible medium for wiping the tears and snot away without soaking articles of clothing that weren't specifically designed to, again, absorb 28 times their weight in tears and snot.
Snittens also help preclude chapped noses and unsightly snotcicles. Oh, and they keep your hands warm.
Use the entire palm side of your Snittens to wipe away tears, and the full top side for snot. Then throw them in the washer to de-gross and make them like new for repeated, long-term use.