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Double Handed Glove of Love

By: on January 25, 2013
$39.59
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Four things to keep in mind, men, when you buy a Smitten, the double handed glove of love, for your wife or girlfriend this Valentine's Day. 1) The Smitten is a glove built for two schmoopy folks' simultaneous use. 2) It is kind of lame and cheesy. 3) Your recipient is going to love it. 4) Because it is a glove built for two, and because she is going to love it, you too are going to have to use the Smitten regularly, despite its lameness and cheese. Got it? Good. Go forth into the night and, armed with this knowledge, make a decision you can live with.

Woolen Smittens come in one size fits most, and also include a pair of gloves to keep you and your s.o.'s non-Smittened hand warm. Or to wear on both hands should you tell the person to whom you gave the Smitten to pound sand, thereby eliminating your obligation to wearing a glove of love.

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Nuada Hand Strength Enhancing Glove

By: Nuada »

It's hard to tell if there's a working prototype of the Nuada glove out there, of if the hand strength enhancement system exists only as a concept with renderings. The video, which would be a terrific place to demonstrate...

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Thorns In - The Glove You Can't Take Off

$978 from Sruli Recht »

Thorns In meaning #1: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns lining the inside of this shark skin glove. Thorns In meaning #2: Ten thousand mic-rose thorns gouging fish-hook style into the hand of its wearer, such that pulling...

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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TheTouch Real-Time Heartbeat Rings

$599 - $2,990 from The Touch »

Want to feel close to a loved one far away? Or in the next room when it's too much work to get up off the couch? As part of their mission to "make the most personal connecting tools," TheTouch is finishing up development...

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Bat Levitating Mouse

Bat, a levitating wireless computer mouse, is currently in the research and testing phases for use in preventing and treating carpal tunnel syndrome, a median nerve dysfunction to which many mouse manipulators are susceptible....

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Freetoo Outdoor Gloves

$12.98 - $21.68 from Amazon »

Men, what can you do with Freetoo's outdoor gloves? An Amazon reviewer says, "I threw several heavy punches at a tree in my yard. And no it didn't feel good on my hand but it didn't damage it at all. If you punch someone...

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Go F Yourself Condom Card

$9.99 - $12.99 from FunnyCondoms.com »

I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...

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Knox Handroid Hand Armor Gloves

$249.95 - $269.95 from Amazon »

As if riding a motorcycle while protecting your skin from flaying off and bones from splitting in half weren't cool enough, Knox is going to make it look like you have mech hands in the process. More armor than gloves...

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Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

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Diamond Ring Candles

$24.95 from Diamond Candles »

Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...

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TurnPoint Smart Motorcycle Glove

$149 - $199 from Kickstarter »

The TurnPoint Glove is a navigation wearable for motorcycle riders. It makes following GPS maps and directions easier (and safer) because you don't have to find a nonexistent windshield, dash, or air vent on your bike...

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You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...