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Posted: Sunday, August 25, 2013
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First Contact Sucks Leggings

First Contact Sucks Leggings
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  • First Contact Sucks Leggings

They call the leggings First Contact Sucks because some are of the opinion that Meeting other intelligent life forms for the first time could probably have gone a little better. What, better than KRA-KOOOOM!? But I love KRA-KOOOOM! KRA-KOOOOM! is the reason I pay $12 for a ticket to the movies, even though when I was a kid it cost half that. I'm not even exaggerating. When I saw Independence Day as a new release, I know I didn't pay a dime over $6 to get into the primetime showing. Also, when I got my license there was, like, a 2-week period when you could fill your gas tank for 89 cents a gallon. I don't think it topped a dollar in the entirety of 1996. It was so awesome. We'd drive all over town honking at people or squirting them with Super Soakers and then go eat at Steak 'n' Shake or hang out in the 7-11 parking lot until curfew. I never had a curfew though because my mama was the best. And also she knew all the other kids' parents would give them curfews so I'd end up coming home by midnight anyway.

Anyway, if you like aliens and you like humans getting their asses kicked by aliens initially, only to band together, rise up, and charge back blowing the mothers back to their own planet, these leggings have your name on them. They also have your name on them if your name is KRA-KOOOOM!

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