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The TRON Light Cycle

By: on August 23, 2011
Discontinued

Yeah, it costs more than twice the country's 2011 median income, but two little words make it worth every penny: Street. Legal. If you can convince the bank, or your mom, to spot you the cash, a living, breathing replica of the computer-animated cycle from the 2010 film TRON: Legacy will earn you the awe and admiration of every pulse-possessing male aged 8 to 44. Plus probably after-hours access to every drive-thru espresso stand barista you'll ever meet. Good thing the Light Cycle requires riders to lie almost horizontal astride its black leather seat because horizontal is a position any owner of this ticket to eternal ass is going to have to get used to.

The Light Cycle's aesthetic splendor begins with a steel frame, which is covered by a fiberglass cowling to replicate the sleek look of its computer-generated counterpart. Electroluminescent strips embedded in the wheels and body puppeteer laser-esque displays of awesomeness during casual cruises and gamer's convention tailgates. A fuel-injected Suzuki 996cc, 4-stroke engine, and 6-speed constant mesh manual transmission will make the bike go, but only your dedication and stalker-training skills will get it to Olivia Wilde's front door.

No conceivable way of acquiring the requisite 55 grand? Don't worry, there's a LEGO version that still might score you some points with the 8-year-old children of single moms....

UPDATE: Parker Brothers Custom Choppers is now working on a new version of their street legal TRON bike, powered by lithium batteries and a 96-volt electric motor that's (supposedly) capable of a top speed of 100 mph. It can also go 100 miles on a single 15-35 minute charge with enough juice left over for that signature TRON lighting.

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Sick in the Head: The 10 Coolest Motorcycle Helmets

Some people say you're sick in the head for riding a motorcycle. I say you're sick in the head if you're wearing one of these motorcycle helmets. And I mean it in the very, very best sense of the word. Here are my picks...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Bandit9 Dark Side Motorcycle

$32k from Bandit9 »

I wonder if Bandit9's Dark Side has cookies. Only 9 people on earth will truly find out, as that's the number of bikes the Saigon-based custom motorcycle shop will build as part of this very limited edition....

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Armored Leather Wonder Woman Costume

$875 from UD Replicas »

Why simply dress up as Wonder Woman when you can transform into Wonder Woman corseted and zipped into custom sewn leather form-molded over motorcycle grade body armor? This UD Replicas creation isn't just a costume, it's...

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Mini Matchstick Revolver

$182.86 from DHgate.com »

This mini model 304 revolver is a little pricey given all it does is load matches and go Bang! but if you're looking for a gift for a man, you really can't go wrong with a toy that...loads matches and goes Bang!...

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Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger

Sold Out from Amazon »

What the WTF Amazon? You're in the weapons trade now? These costume-y looking hand claws have real blades of razor-sharp, 8.75-inch, 440C stainless steel, which make them exponentially and disturbingly more portentous...

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Motoped Survival Bike

$2,499 - $3,149 from Motoped »

Universal mounting rack. Three gallons of fuel. In critical times, Motoped's Survival Bike puts escape in the hands of your feet. The military-inspired superhauler has a back rack assembly primed for multiple bolt-on...

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RYNO One Wheel Motorcycle

$5,295 from RYNO Motors »

Ever wanted to pop a perpetual wheelie? Well get ready, 'cause RYNO Motors is in production and set for the 2012 US release of two tiers of its self-balancing, single-wheeled, shit-stirring beast of a motorcycle. OK...

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DC & Marvel Comics Suits

$169.99 - $349.99 from Fun.com Suits »

Holy Marvel of Washington DC, Batman! They made a suit out of you! As teased in a preview a couple weeks ago, Fun.com is releasing a line of men's (funny / monkey?) business suits in tribute to your favorite superheroes...

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Gunbus 410 - World's Biggest Motorcycle

A Texas-sized hog made in southwest Germany. Leonhardt Manufacturing's Gunbus 410 owns the current title of World's Biggest (Running) Motorcycle. That means you can really own and operate the steel-and-aluminum behemoth...

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NUVIZ HUD for Motorcycle Helmets

$499 from NUVIZ »

If you're not lucky enough to be selected by Skully to beta test their HUD motorcycle helmet, you might consider joining the line to own the NUVIZ take on motorcycle Head-Up Display. The NUVIZ Ride:HUD, a joint venture...

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TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit

$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...