Clothing

Jean Shorts Swim Trunks

$20.99 Amazon »

Cool off with some hot pants. Daisy Duke's got nothing on these Jean Shorts Swim Trunks. More like swim briefs, really, as the faux denim suit is ready to show off your sweet ass and your formidable junk with equal skin...

ABananaCover Naked Feeling Boxer Briefs

$14.99 Amazon »

ABananaCover might not be as sexy as a banana hammock, but these naked feeling boxer briefs sure look a helluva lot more comfortable 'round back than the flossy fabric of a thong wedged between my butt cheeks. And made...

Boxerkilt Pouch-Free Boxer Briefs with Total Airflow

$8.99 - $10.88 Amazon »

Schweddy balls begone! Boxerkilts are boxer briefs whose front skirt flap takes the place of the traditional C&B pouch, allowing for, if Boxerkilt is to be believed, 100% airflow to and through your stifled junk. The...

Barbie Swimsuit

$14.99 - $19.99 Etsy »

You know what I thought when I saw this Barbie Swimsuit? The same thing you dudes and ladies probably thought: Come on, Barbie, let's go party / Come on, Barbie, let's go party. Followed immediately by a daydream of Margot...

The Golden Girls Ankle Socks

$19.99 Amazon »

I know it's going to be a happy Mother's Day this year, when I give these Golden Girls Ankle Socks as a gift to my mama. A 5-strong set, with pairs mugging pretty damn accurate drawings of Sofia, Rose, Blanche, and Dorothy...

Matador Meggings - Leggings for Men

Not sure Matador Meggings are right for you, dudes? Not sure any leggings, even those designed especially for men and their anatomies, are masculine enough for a place on your legs and crotchal region? Well. Matador Meggings...

Rihanna's Savage X Fenty Lingerie for Men

$6.48 - $44.98 Savage x Fenty »

Rihanna's Savage X Fenty lingerie line originally set out to disrupt the industry and redefine sexy with fashionable designs that are both affordable and suited to all types of bodies. The recently released Savage X Fenty...

Poler Reversible Napsacks

$130 Poler »

Oh, Poler Reversible Napsacks, you knew you had me at trippy colors and patterns of Rainier Beer. These camping and lounging companions certainly aren't the first wearable sleeping bags or blankets to take a seat at the...

Crotchless Yoga Pants

Who's up for a little downward dog...gy style? These Crotchless Yoga Pants from Cherry ChiChi proudly describe themselves as "yoga pants for sex." Just in case there was any confusion, or a moment's thought that they...

Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts

$14 - $20 Steven Rhodes »

This line of Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts comes from the dark and nostalgic mind of artist Steven Rhodes. I've included some of my favorites in the images above, but there are dozens more to choose from...

Prank Dissolving Swim Shorts

$44.99 Amazon »

I mean, I think anyone who tried on these Prank Dissolving Swim Shorts - or even felt their "fabric" out of the box - would know your story about their being perfectly normal navy blue board shorts for the beach doesn't...

3D T-Rex Ugly Christmas Sweater

$74.95 Amazon »

If T-Rex can't high-five or do pushups, then you in a 3D T-Rex Ugly Christmas Sweater can't sit down or move freely without risk of taking out people's drinks and cheese plates...

WorkRobe - Business on the Top, Comfort on the Bottom

$70 - $89 WorkRobe »

The WorkRobe is for working (from home) women who don't want to put on a stiff collared shirt or itchy sweater for one stupid Zoom call. Or, worse, to sit around stiff and itchy on video conferences all day long. Coined...

Holographic Tracksuit

$87.90 Etsy »

My favorite thing about Reflective Clo's description of their Holographic Tracksuit is that one of the first things they call it "cozy." Like, nevermind that it's reflective to the point of being trippy, that it makes...

Wilson Dearborn Tailgater Pant

$98 Wilson »

Bonus points, Wilson, for blessing the Dearborn Tailgater Pant with an elastic waist. You know exactly what kind and quantity of food and drink sports fans will be partaking in while wearing them. Whether watching the...

Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral

$25 Lorals »

Finally! A wearable dental dam! Lorals Latex Panties, despite being able to stop right there - latex panties? I'm in! Wrap some in every style up as a gift for my wife - aren't just sexy underwear to look at, they're...

Firefighter Gear & Bulletproof Vest Garbage Sweater

$495 Vollebak »

Vollebak's latest inspiration: landfills. The Garbage Sweater is woven from old, discarded firefighter suits and bulletproof vests - items that, having outlived their useful life, were headed to die in the dump. So in...

The #DadCrop - Dad Crop Top

$34.99 Etsy »

Show off that dad bod this summer with the #DadCrop, a sexy upgrade to Dad's favorite piece of clothing: the hoodie. The #DadCrop can make dads everywhere look more hip, more fashionable, more Tik-Tok-ready while picking...

Emo Football Parody Sports Shirts

We've seen emo football in the winces and whines of Tom Brady. Emo basketball in the tantrums of LeBron James. Emo soccer in the rolling on the ground, gripping a leg in pain from...pretty much every soccer player out...

Sexy Bandage Swimsuit

$139 Etsy »

Sexy Bandage Swimsuit creator Liliya Pincosy simply calls her photoshoot-ready one-piece the Bandage Swimsuit. I added Sexy to the title because, um, I have eyes. And, this time, not the kind that see a great gag gift...

It's Not a Dad Bod It's a Father Figure T-Shirt

$9.99 - $25.99 Etsy »

The It's Not a Dad Bod It's a Father Figure T-shirt is the first T-shirt to bust through (beer belly first, of course) my firewall against cheesy, punny, novelty T-shirts since the IPA Lot When I Drink T-shirt I posted...

William Murray The Rough Life Water Hazard Shorts

Yes, that William Murray. And yes, that William Murray's The Life Aquatic Deep Search submarine and character, Steve Zissou. These Rough Life Water Hazard Shorts are part of William Murray Golf's Spring 2021 clothing...

Custom Zip Face Swimsuit

$22.51 Etsy »

Some ladies have to get pregnant to pop out a baby, but those of you who love your boyfriends or husbands enough to wear their faces plastered across your bellies have only to buy one of these Custom Zip Face Swimsuits...

POC Shell Coat

Sold Out Amazon »

POC's Shell Coat, a piece of outerwear made for the ski slopes and fun days of shoveling snow, reminds me we have entered the tricky part of winter. The part where spring is, like, right there, and even officially here...