Katana Sword Bookends
I don't just tear through books, I impale them. Particularly those with sad endings. F those books! I read to escape my unhappy reality, not to face the gut-wrenching effects of love, death, and temporal shifts while finishing up The Time Traveler's Wife and sobbing uncontrollably in my dentist's waiting room. Chuck Norris is right: It's better to learn martial arts and beat things up than try to intellectualize with them. So let's everyone line up all of our books not written by Dr. Seuss or the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs guy, inform them their days of dragging us into grave states of melancholy are over, and drive a katana sword through their hearts.
Or we could just buy these Katana Sword Bookends and keep the death part metaphorical. That would maybe even be more fitting, because literature loooves its metaphors. Specifics of Katana Sword Bookend composition are not listed, but presumably the blade is not made of anything sharp, such as Tamahagane steel or Oscar Wilde's wit.
Muchas danke to Nerd Approved.