Fighting Man Frying Pan

By: on November 14, 2012
$45 - $250
Check It Out

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting Man's Frying Pan (FMFP) has a place on your stovetop. Why? Because its handle looks like a motherfucking sword! James Brown's (dude's even got a soul-stirring name) line of Combat Kitchenware will arm you both to whip the good stuff up and, if wielded properly, take the bad stuff down.

I'm also pretty sure FMFP users will find it exponentially more fun to agitate sauteing onions for even caramelization whilst holding tightly to the grip of a valiant knight's weapon of honor than it is to palm a boring old plastic composite protrusion.

Fighting Man's Frying Pans vary in size and composition, with options for personal tailoring to suit individuals' styles of culinary combat. Hilts are all custom-milled aluminum, which are then covered in molded silicone wraps so that handles emerge both sturdy and appropriately insulated. Skillet bases are also forged by Brown's company, Morlock Enterprises, out of Herndon, VA.

Running as a Kickstarter campaign through December 13, 2012, FMFP backers can choose from several echelons of sword-tinged support. $27 will get you a handle kit, which can be used to convert most any frying pan to an "epic implement of culinary doom." Those less trusting of their dis- and reassembly abilities can take the next step up to a Teflon-coated 8" pan, handle pre-attached ($45). Skillet size and material quality (e.g., cast iron, stainless steel) continue the quest to conquer the art of pan-fried, culminating in the gussying-up of an 11" All-Clad skillet Combat Kitchenware-style ($207), or the complete customization of a pan to suit a supporter's personal preferences ($250).

If Fighting Man's Frying Pan funding achieves its $7,000 backing goal, product shipment will begin in January 2013.

Muchas danke to David S. for the product suggestion.

Buy Now

Cuisinart Air Fryer Toaster Oven

$157.75 from Amazon »

I'm not showing you Cusinart's AirFryer Toaster Oven because it's one of Oprah's Favorite Things for 2017...or because I spent any time at all browsing Oprah's Favorite Things for 2017. I'm showing it to you because it...

Buy Now

The Lambshank Redemption Cookbook

$15.82 from Amazon »

Mmmm, I could sure go for some lamb shank tonight. According to She-Ra: Princess of Power, a little redemption wouldn't hurt me either. Fitting, then, that in my search for dinner and ways to un-piss off my fiancee I...

Check it out

Lucky Iron Fish - Iron-Infused Cooking Fish

This Lucky Iron Fish sounds as fishy as it looks. The palm-sized cooking tool says it can bump up your daily iron intake with 2 to 7mg of bioavailable iron when boiled in 1L of water or broth along with 2 to 3 drops of...

Check it out

ACME Crates

$150 - $495 from Acme »

I know ACME Crates look like ammo cans filled with manly items of EDC and EDB (Everyday Battle!) but what they really are is...no, wait. That's exactly what they are. ACME Crates are curated collections of tools you might...

Buy Now

Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook

$13.52 from Amazon »

Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook continues the cookbook trend started by recipe collections like Baking Bad and The Snacking Dead. Released during the lead-up to Stranger Things' second season, the spoof provides...

Buy Now

Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

Buy Now

Haunted Skull Cakelet Pan

$158.99 from Amazon »

Skull "cakelets." Spooky, sinister, and...adorable. Bring on the devil's food, 'cause you're haunting me with your cuteness, little skulls....

Check it out

biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

Buy Now

Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$23.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

Check it out

Indestructible Foam LED Lightsabers

$172 - $383 from Calimacil »

The secret to surviving a lightsaber duel? Use the Force. Orrr...use a foam lightsaber. I know. It sounds chintzy and fake and generally lame. But Calimacil, purveyor of fine foam weapons for LARPing, swears their new...

Check it out

Rocket Ship Potato Masher

$17 from OTOTO »

Might be a while before we can take a rocket ship to mars, so in the meantime, let's take a rocket ship to...mashed potatoes!...

Buy Now

F*ck, That's Delicious

$14.45 from Amazon »

When I see the title F*ck, That's Delicious, all I can think of are the words, "Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger!" I wonder if Action Bronson uses Jules Winnfield, or the Jules Winnfield talking action fig