Decor
Iron Mando Porcelain Helmet
The Iron Mando Porcelain Helmet is what happens when creative visionaries and skilled artists don't want to get sued by Disney or Marvel. Discommon, the design firm behind the Iron Mando, calls their full-size porcelain...
Melting Rugs
These Melting Rugs are affordable tributes to (i.e., cheap copies of?) Azerbaijani visual artist Faig Ahmed's original surreal designs. The funky runners come in a variety of colorways and sizes, including custom requests...
BIC Lighter Rug
I was going to be kind and call this BIC Lighter Rug "quirky" and "niche," but it's made by an Etsy shop named Ugly Rugs, so I guess I can just be straight and call a spade a spade. So...Dudes, look at this ugly-ass BIC...
Bag of Chips Pillows
These handmade designs from Funny Bonny Store are all that and a bag of...pillow. Ready to turn all who own them into real couch potato...chips. Lays, Cheetos, Doritos, it's the best of crunchy snacks meets the best of...
Grid Studio Disassembled Old Tech Art
Grid Studio creates art honoring extinction that is itself on the verge of extinction. Their framed displays of disassembled old tech - namely iPhones, but also a few other Apple products, brands of early edition cell...
Fluffy Wall Art
Can't get a puppy or a cat? How about a pettable Mona Lisa, a soft 'n' silky Scream, or a furry Starry Night instead? Fluffy Wall Art turns masterpieces of fine art into masterpieces of fluff art, with the artists of...
Burning $100 Bill Area Rug
Your hundo's burning a hole in your pocket, mine's burning a hole in my floor. The Burning $100 Bill Area Rug. What a disturbing showstopper. And not just for its detailed minting and realistic flames, but for the message...
Vita Balanza Table Candle
Does your next dinner party, your living space, your life vibe hang in the balance of dull, mass-produced candles poured in glass jars and scented with a combination of your grandma's soap and your grandpa's aftershave?...
But Did You Die? Neon Sign
Well? Did you? Then suck it up, buttercup, and flip on this But Did You Die? Neon Sign as a reminder things could have turned out much worse. You could have drank that last shot of tequila. You could have exertion-vomited...
F**k Rug
How do you say, "Welcome?" "F**k." How do you say, "Don't drip shower water on the floor?" "F**k." How do you say, "Here's a cozy place to put your toesies when you get out of bed in the morning?" Yes, that's right...
Florigami Animal Sculptures
I know. All these expertly crafted origami animal sculptures should be called Faunigami, not Florigami. But there is more than rhyming behind the play on the words. This bestial collection of Japanese papercraft is all...
FluoroSphere Fluorescent Light Show
My dudes, my kids, my psilocybin partakers, meet the FluoroSphere. It's not exactly a magic ball, but it's certainly a magical ball, filled with water and UV-reactive FluoroGel that creates an enthralling fluorescent...
Velvet Potato Pillow
It's the most expensive, yet also the most cuddly, potato you'll ever own. Krystyna Dulinska's Velvet Potato Pillow might be the best potato gift I've seen since the Potato Parcel, whose cost and cuddliness are also up...
Kama Sutra Bucket List Scratch Poster
A whole bucket list of Kama Sutra positions? Um, I feel like my whole bucket list contains making it through just one single Kama Sutra position. I mean, seriously dudes, The Spider? The Sidekick? The Tornado?! They all...
Black Bag Porcelain Vase
This Black Bag Porcelain Vase is black. Deep, dark matte black, almost the same shade as my ex-girlfriend Karen's heart. (Almost. Hers is even more similar to that Black 3.0, Blackest Paint in the World Black.) So in...
Octopus Banana Rug
My doomsday prediction for 2023: the Octopus Bananas will come for us! And since we'll all be dead or enslaved, and unable to get merch and gear to remember it by, here's an Octopus Banana Rug you can buy before the Octo-Banana-pocalypse...
Censored Spines: Literary Kindling
Don't worry, Karen, this is just Volume I of Censored Spines: Literary Kindling. I'm sure RethinkTANK will come out with many, many more editions featuring the banned likes of The Bluest Eye, Out of Darkness, All Boys...
Pep Talk Generator Poster
Holiday stress and depression. Recession gloom. Anger of your favorite movies and TV shows vanishing from HBO Max. Methinks 2023 is gonna be the Year of the Pep Talk. Oh, hey, here's a Pep Talk Generator Poster to help...
Dinosaur Hanukkah Menorah
I wouldn't have named it the Dinosaur Hanukkah Menorah. I would have called it the T-Rex Dinosorah. But, I don't work for Zion Judaica Ltd, and I'm not "Margarita," the person who designed this cretaceous candle holder...
Champagne Bottle Balloon Kit
An 88-piece Champagne Bottle Balloon Kit you can inflate and use to decorate down the stairs, up the wall, arcing over the window, any which way you want?! This DIY decor looks like a job for...not this dude. Uh-uh. No...
Golden Girls Christmas Ornaments
Make Christmas spectacularly silver (-haired) and Golden (Girls) this year with a set of glass Golden Girls Christmas Ornaments. Head-to-toe you'll get Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia in moderate facial likenesses...
Well Hung Naughty Christmas Ornament
Is that a finger wiggling around in the Well Hung Naughty Christmas Ornament, or are you just happy to...defile the Christmas tree with a mock cock & balls to get some cheap jollies?...
Cognitive Biases Wall Poster
Oh how I love to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to my father-in-law, my Aunt Jan, and my black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen...
Santa Frozen in Carbonite Christmas Ornament
Ho, ho, h-oh no! Santa Claus has gotten himself into a Carbonite pickle! He might survive as Han Solo did, but wasn't Han also frozen up in the stuff for, like, a year? Bad news, kids. I wouldn't waste my time with cookies...