Decor

Well Hung Naughty Christmas Ornament

$8.39 - $9.99 Amazon »

Is that a finger wiggling around in the Well Hung Naughty Christmas Ornament, or are you just happy to...defile the Christmas tree with a mock cock & balls to get some cheap jollies?...

Cognitive Biases Wall Poster

Oh how I love to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to my father-in-law, my Aunt Jan, and my black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen...

Santa Frozen in Carbonite Christmas Ornament

$14.95 Amazon »

Ho, ho, h-oh no! Santa Claus has gotten himself into a Carbonite pickle! He might survive as Han Solo did, but wasn't Han also frozen up in the stuff for, like, a year? Bad news, kids. I wouldn't waste my time with cookies...

The Vast Land Incense Burner Lamp

$95.99 Amazon »

The Vast Land Incense Burner Lamp is supposed to be a great companion for yoga or meditation, but looking at it kinda brings me the opposite of relaxation and peace. That lone figure walking along a barren terrain of...

Cactus Christmas Tree

$89.99 - $139.99 Amazon »

A Cactus Christmas Tree this year, huh? How very...southwest of you, Mama. No, dudes, this bastardization of one of the best parts of the holidays doesn't resonate with me either. I don't care how much it fits into the...

Minimalist Wall Hanging Christmas Tree

$24.40 Amazon »

Deck the halls with...no wait. Deck the walls - and really just one wall - with a Minimalist Wall Hanging Christmas Tree this year. Especially if space is at a premium, or you just got a new puppy or newly mobile baby...

The Root Christmas Tree Stand

$299 - $899 Garden Glory »

The Root is the Christmas tree stand to end all Christmas tree stands! ... Aaand pretty much the only decorative or visually interesting Christmas tree stand I've ever seen at all. The gold and silver Roots are pretty...

Wooden Steampunk Light Switch Cover

$54.95 - $59.95 Etsy »

Not sure how much I'd want to swing from the chandelier, but I'd sure like to light it up using one of these Wooden Steampunk Light Switch Covers. I can hear my wife now at our next dinner party: It's time! Get the ladle...

Dinosaur Foot Waste Basket

$649 Regal Robot »

So, the dinosaur foot of this Dinosaur Foot Waste Basket from Regal Robot is huge. Maybe even life-size, depending on which dinosaur they've taxidermied to make the trash can. But the actual garbage container, the liner...

Robot Lamp Candle & Wax Melts Warmer

$106.99 Amazon »

Now I don't know how many people out there who are into candles and wax melts and aromatherapy are also into robots, but if that's your demographic, my dudes and ladies, have I got a Robot Lamp Candle & Wax Melts Warmer...

Mechanical Metal Jellyfish Kinetic Sculpture

$498.98 Etsy »

You can trust me when I say this Mechanical Metal Jellyfish Kinetic Sculpture from MCA Studio is the coolest thing you'll see all week - all month if you're really into kinetic sculptures or jellyfish, all year if you're...

Penny Clock

$325 Etsy »

Nothing says it better than this Penny Clock from Fun Cool Wall Clocks: time is money...

Bat Shelf

$29.95 Amazon »

I wouldn't think a Bat Shelf, a black shelf with a bat cutout serving as its mounting panel, could appeal to very many different demographics, but as I peruse this Bat Shelf's listing, I am impressed to say I am wrong...

Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus

$677 - $885 Etsy »

I can't tell exactly how giant Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus is, but if the evidence in the image gallery above is any indication, he appears to be the equivalent of 1 x standard lady who has not yet mastered the art...

Pissing Boy Incense Burner

$25.99 Amazon »

Pissing Boy Incense Burner? More like Dribbling Boy Incense Burner. Come on, ye clever devils with the Manneken Pis mood-setting gift ideas, figure out how to add some arc to the boy's stream!...

Myconos Levitating Firestone

$183 - $241 Myconos »

A little floating fire with a bioethanol flame blazing from a stone center. That sounds...well, it actually sounds about as safe as candles, incense, and tabletop fireplaces. And since the Myconos Levitating Firestone...

Love in Bloom Porcelain Heart Vase

$97.14 Amazon »

A classic from Seletti, the Love in Bloom Porcelain Heart Vase goes full-on anatomical in its efforts to help you show how much you care. The vase turns arteries and veins of the heart into individual bud vases, allowing...

Please Don't Do Coke In The Bathroom Neon Party Sign

$59 - $279 Etsy »

Please don't do coke in the bathroom? Geez, the things you gotta be polite but explicit about asking people these days. First it was just, "Please wash your hands," and "Please don't flush things that aren't toilet paper...

Encyclopedia of Sandwiches Poster

$23.45 - $30.45 Etsy »

An Encyclopedia of Sandwiches Poster, now that's a great way to ensure you know exactly what kind of sandwich you're eating whenever you eat a sandwich. And also to ensure you're always eating a sandwich, because who...

Mushroom Disco Ball

$15.74 - $28.74 Amazon »

Ah, mushrooms and disco balls, together at last. Really, though, it makes sense. I just watched a documentary on mushrooms - Fantastic Fungi - discussing the growing evidence that mushrooms can cure all illnesses, replenish...

Lucky Stradley Ceramics

Too bad Mother's Day is over. One of Lucky Stradley's snotting ceramic yarn bowls (this one above is named "Witt") would have made the perfect gift for Mom...

LEGO Art Rolling Stones Tongue & Lips Logo

$149.99 LEGO »

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...and wait 'til August 1st...you can get LEGO Art's Rolling Stones Tongue & Lips Logo set. Joining the likes of The Beatles, Star Wars Siths, Marilyn Monroe...

Enviroskulls

The T-Rex, Dragon, and Swamp Monster Enviroskulls might eat you, but at least you can rest assured they're not here to destroy the planet. Enviroskulls is a nonprofit, non-commercial organization that creates dazzling...

100 Challenging Novels Scratch Off Chart

$25 Pop Chart »

If by "100 Challenging Novels Scratch Off Chart," you mean 100 novels that are difficult for a dude of average IQ - OK, maybe slightly below average IQ according to the free online IQ test - to read and understand, then...