Design

DIY Retro Computer Papercraft Models

FREE Rocky Bergen »

This DIY Retro Computer Papercraft Models from Rocky Bergen are fan-frickin'-tastic! And, available as printable downloads, they're also all fan-frickin'-free! A papercraft Commodore 65. A cardboard model of an IBM 5150...

Realistic Human Thumb Tacks

$16.99 Etsy »

Stay organized...even if you're all thumbs with a set of Realistic Human Thumb Tacks from This Is Michie's Shop. The push pins are hand-sculpted from polymer clay, so no actual human thumbs were harmed in their making...

Dick Brake Light Prank Decal

$5 - $8.70 Etsy »

I brake for dicks. No wait, you brake for dicks. At least once I've secured a couple of Dick Brake Light Prank Decals onto those wee red covers on the back of your car. And by you, I mean my friend Cornelius, because...

Skull Glasses Stand

$43.67 Etsy »

A skull glasses stand, now there's a clever accessory for your lensed accessories. Not to mention a sweet gift for your favorite bespectacled biology teacher, skull-loving goth, deathly cool rock star, or self-important...

Yooperlite UV-Fluorescent Stone Designs

$14.44 - $222.22 Etsy »

I'd never seen yooperlite before today, but after just a few seconds of gazing at the UV-fluorescent stones, and the designs Palcamsol Distributing has turned them into, has me going all Fred Flintstone and saying, "Yooper...

Free Hugs Xenomorph Decal

$6 Etsy »

You need a hug? I'd be careful what you wish for. ... Unless you're one of my arch nemeses, such as my ex-girlfriend Karen or my Aunt Jan, in which case, free hugs all around, courtesy of this Free Hugs Xenomorph Decal...

Box of Crap Packing Tape

While "box of crap" is an accurate description for at least 3/4 of the packages I send and receive, I feel like sealing them with Box of Crap Packing Tape wouldn't bode well for me. Package thieves will think it's a trick...

Gift Wrap My Face Personalized Gift Wrap

$18.99 - $24.99 Gift Wrap My Face »

With Gift Wrap My Face personalized gift wrap on the outside, there's really no need to give them anything but an empty box on the inside*. It's the same idea as The medium is the message: the present is the presentation...

Chameleon Tape Measure

Sold Out Amazon »

Before I tell you about the delightful and whimsical Chameleon Tape Measure from Coppertist.Wu, let me tell you an almost unbelievable nugget of information about the chameleon, and namely the chameleon's tongue, the...

Penis Body Pillow

$162 Etsy »

This Penis Body Pillow from Crochet Moore Co. is essentially a boyfriend pillow for people who don't necessarily bemoan not having the strong arm and cozy chest of a boyfriend, but do regret the absence of a boyfriend's...

Micro Crochet Animals

$33.60 - $68 Etsy »

Lookee, lookee at the itty bitty crochet sloth. The teeny tiny crochet elephant. The weeeee little crochet penguin. The...I can't. I have to stop. All these Micro Crochet Animals, these things that make you go awww, are...

Dad You're The Schitt Father's Day Card

Discontinued

Happy Father's Day from Johnny Rose. This Schitt's Creek greeting card won't just tell Dad he's simply the best, but that he's the Schitt. A great choice for you children who are equal parts loving, snarky, and fans of...

Crochet Penis Blanket

$130 Etsy »

Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and Netflix & chill...

Blockbuster Video Credit Card Skin

$6 Etsy »

"Wow! What a Difference! Blockbuster Video...Credit Card Skin. No, really. This cover for your Visa, AmEx, or debit card isn't just a bit of nostalgia and nerdery for 80s and 90s kids who refuse to let Blockbuster - or...

Sword House Key

$7.85 Amazon »

It's about time I had a Sword House Key, given the number of sword fights with locks I've had in my life. In fact, just two weeks ago I was testing out the lock and key on my new nightstand - yep the top drawer came with...

Butts on Things Stickers, Pins & Artwork

$4.50 - $20 Etsy »

What's up, Taco Butt? Hey there, TARDASSSS! Yo, yo, I see you've got S'more junk in the trunk. No insult and no judgement with my comments, just a sheer appreciation for your Butts on Things sticker, pin, and artwork...

Bexar Goods Leather-Wrapped NES Console

And you thought an NES console couldn't get any sexier. Bexar Goods has taken tech skins to luscious leather levels, wrapping a classic Nintendo Entertainment System in premium buck brown harness leather from Wickett...

RethinkTANK City Manhole Cover Coasters & Trivets

$22 - $32 RethinkTANK »

Despite covering things that aren't so pretty, a city's manhole covers are often imprinted with cool, intricate, and sometimes downright stunning designs. RethinkTANK's Under Cover Series showcases these doors to the...

Dirty Pop Adult Pop Up Greeting Cards (NSFW)

$12.99 Dirty Pop »

Hey, look at that. Dick and Titsy are about to pop up out of their...greeting cards? In what is surely the best use of the term since the days of *NSYNC, Dirty Pop has beat off and busted out a set of penis and boobies...

Lovepop The Beatles Pop-Up Cards

$15 - $18 Amazon »

Lovepop makes greeting cards they think your recipients will love to see pop up when they open them. With Father's Day getting ready to pop up itself, you can show you love Pop by including one of Lovepop's The Beatles...

The Not Hot Blanket

If the eyes are a window to the soul, then the Not Hot Blanket is a window...for that one damn leg that needs some fresh air. Just a little pop-out from under the covers so you don't wake up from a sweet dream about Charlize...

The Dad Mask

The Dad Mask is laced up and ready to shield against viruses, filter out allergens and dust particles, thwart lawnmower fumes, stave off grill smoke, absorb all grass stains, and enshroud the mug of the man, the myth...

Racist BS Cat Cover-Up Stickers

$1.50 - $8.63 Cracks Appearing Distro »

It's a cat cover-up! No, not a cover-up orchestrated by cats, say, to hide all that toilet paper they just shredded as you tried to hoard it amidst the coronavirus outbreak. A cover-up in sticker form, one that pairs...

Valentine's Day Surprise Scratch-Off Card

$5 Etsy »

This Valentine's Day Surprise scratch-off card gives me pause. Normally I consider receiving a greeting card the equivalent of receiving a fancy piece of trash, since that's where it's going to end up a day or two later...