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Crochet Penis Blanket

Posted: May 16, 2021
Crochet Penis Blanket
$120
from
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Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and Netflix & chill nights on the couch.

Both of which you'll probably be doing alone, because 1) the Crochet Penis Blanket is made mummy-style, with a shaft big enough for just one; and 2) I'm not sure if anyone, dude or lady, no matter how well you know them, is going to be down for hangin' with you all cocooned up inside a giant dick. Method #179 for killing a boner: spend a night with someone who looks like one.

On the other hand, the Crochet Penis Blanket would make a great gag gift, particularly if you're keen to turn someone you think is a figurative dickhead into a literal one.

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