AeroBand PocketDrum Electronic Air Drum Sticks

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AeroBand's PocketDrum brings the audio, the visual, and the tactile to air drumming so everyone can smell what you're cookin', and get a taste of your talent when you rock out...

Jelly Belly Sparkling Water

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You won't be getting a jelly belly downing cans of Jelly Belly's new sparkling water. Unlike their beans, the Jelly Belly take on hydration with a side of carbonation has 0 sugars, 0 sweeteners, 0 calories, and 0 sodium...

Unleash the Kraken Male Vibrator (NSFW)

Discontinued

While we normally think of the kraken as wielding tentacles of asphyxiation and death, what if in fact the giant squid is all about pleasure? What if his tentacles, as they appear willing and able to do in this male vibrator...

CarAIDE 18-in-1 Portable Jump Starter & Multi-Tool

$99.99 Amazon »

The portable jump starter I keep in my trunk has saved me more than once. More than twice. (Stupid sensitive dome lights. I barely touch them heaving my bag over from the passenger seat and they turn on!) As an emergency...

Fully Sealed Stainless Steel Piggy Bank

$23.99 Amazon »

Ain't no getting out of a New Year's resolution to save money when you have a fully sealed stainless steel piggy bank from LUSEN keeping you in check. There's no "back door" on this 6-sided vault of financial responsibility...

SZQHT Wide Jaw Nail Clippers

$9.97 - $12.72 Amazon »

Ready for a little DIY, at-home snip, snip? This time for your fingernails and toenails, rather than your vas deferens*. SZQHT levels up your cheap and crusty nail clippers with their line of ergonomic, wide jaw trimmers...

CVS Receipt Scarf

$24.95 Amazon »

Thanks for shopping at CVS! Here's your 6'-long receipt for the pack of condoms you bought for you 6"-long penis. Yep, our receipts are long and strong, here to make you feel inadequate and environmentally unfriendly...

Yukon Hammerhead Pro HD Steerable Snow Sled

$314.20 Amazon »

When Yukon Charlie's shows off their Yukon Hammerhead Pro HD snow sled with the invite to "#ExperienceWinter," part of me hates them, because F you, Yukon Charlie, I've been shoveling snow for the past 2 hours and I don't...

4-in-1 Electric Shower Brush

Discontinued

Who wants to go for a spin in the shower? This electric shower brush has a whirring motor and 4 interchangeable brush heads to help you scrub-a-dub-dub away oil, dirt, and dead skin, plus stir up some blood flow, and...

Raptor Series Jeep/Truck/SUV Rooftop Tent

$999.50 Amazon »

I know Jeeps - and trucks and SUVs - are burly and all, but I'm just not sure I'd trust the roof of one of them to support both a(n admittedly pimp-lookin') Rapter Series rooftop tent and the burly hunk of human that...

Baby Yoda Life-Size Cardboard Cutouts

$39.95 Amazon »

What's better than one Baby Yoda? Four! Four Baby Yodas! And what these Baby Yoda Cutouts lack in a 3rd dimension, they make up for in their life-size adorability...

Automatic Emergency & Power Outage Light

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A handheld lantern or flood light will certainly provide illumination during a power outage or other dark emergency, but Ideal Security's SK638 is designed as a more complete home backup light. The SK638 is flat on the...

Bob Ross Bandages

$14.99 Amazon »

Of all the pieces of Bob Ross merch out there, Bob Ross Bandages are one of the few that actually make sense. They're right up there with the Bob Ross Chia Pet because, as the boo-boo covers state with pride: in injuries...

Talking, Heatable Smart Sex Doll (NSFW)

Discontinued

No matter how you feel about sex dolls, there's no denying this sex doll is hot. A feverish hot, at up to 104 degrees F! She's smart too. Smart enough to tell you how good you heat her up, to moan in response to your...

Peugeot Paris Prestige Giant Pepper Mill

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The Peugeot Paris Prestige is the grand piano of pepper mills. And if saying it isn't enough to convince you, this giant, 3.6'-tall grinder has been carved from solid beechwood, and then coated in gleaming black piano...

Booty Mint Cleansing & Soothing Toilet Paper Spray

$8.49 - $13.99 Amazon »

Booty Mint is your wet wipe wingman. It's not toilet spray in the scent-masking sense like Poo-Pourri, but rather toilet paper spray you can apply to your 2-ply to create a DIY flushable wet wipe. Tear off a few sheets...

E23: What Is This Thing?

$9.99 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 23 of What Is This Thing?, a fun game where I show you a photo of a fun-ny-lookin' product and challenge you to guess what it is. Here are some hints to help you figure it out:...

Uberlube Luxury Lubricant

$20 Amazon »

Since the self-driving car and going public things haven't worked out so well for Uber, they've decided to diversify with a foray into the personal lubricant business. Uberlube, a luxury lubricant for discerning "ridesharers,"...

Hidden Camera Water Bottle

$29.40 - $30.63 Amazon »

Not a whole lot of good can come of any everyday item fitted with a hidden camera, but a hidden camera in a water bottle? Gee, I wonder where people are going to set that up. Probably not in the side pocket of their backpack...

Ergonomic Smart Music Pillow

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Great. As much as I like the idea of an ergonomic smart music pillow to support my old man neck with 90D high-density memory foam, just take a gander at this angled, contoured mess. The PILO pillow looks like a complex...

The Spirits Want You To Have Sex Game

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The Spirits Want You to Have Sex Game is probably an old game all you boomers will be like, "That's been around for years!" when you see it, but so what? I haven't seen it. My wife hasn't seen it. Do you aim to deny younger...

Romotow Open & Spin Luxury Travel Trailer

The Romotow travel trailer is a snazzy open & spin RV design from New Zealand-based W2 Architecture. The firm developed their space-creating concept several years ago, and have just begun construction of the first Romotow...

Gerber Versafix Pro Machete/Knife Hybrid

$34 - $37.04 Amazon »

Versafix could be anything - a hair product, some kind of adhesive, Ray Donovan's new storefront - but here, in the house of Gerber, Versafix is a fixed blade. And a machete. It's a Versa-tile fixed blade / machete hybrid...

Bello Digital Belly Fat Scanner

$189 Bello »

It's called Bello. Because the portable device is a belly fat scanner and "decoder." And also because that's probably what you're going to do when you see its results, and read what it has to say about all that damning...