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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie

Discontinued

The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects...

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Damn It Feels Good To Be A Lannister

$19.95 from Snorg Tees »

Are you in the habit of paying your debts? Have you slayed kings? A penchant for whoring? Like to sleep with your sister? Nodding? Then this is the perfect t-shirt for you. A perfect combination of rap and fantasy for...

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Lava Burn Ward T-Shirt

$19.95 from 604 Republic »

This guy looks like someone, I just can't put my finger on it. But... with 1-up juice pumping through his veins, this mustachioed character will be out of the lava burn ward and back to collecting coins and breaking bricks...

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The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer

Sold Out from Etsy »

A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign...

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Zombie Bert & Ernie T-Shirt

$20.95 from 604 Republic »

Bert and Ernie, long suspected of being gay (or bi at least) make their first appearance as zombies... as depicted on this t-shirt, and still fail to quell rumors of their questionable heterosexuality. That's why the...

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LED Eyelashes

These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska....

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Kenny Powers Mullet Cap

$29.99 from HBO »

When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of my shit. Just a man with a mind for...

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The Ring Clock

$349 - $399 from Ring Clock »

August 2013 Update: Thanks to crowdfunding campaigns, concept products are making their segues into reality much quicker these days. Two years ago, the Ring Clock emerged from a Moving Innovation challenge set forth by...

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Slippers With Headlights

$40 from Opulent Items »

I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor...

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Marty McFly Nikes

By: Nike »

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair...

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The Batarang Money Clip

$39 from ThinkGeek »

Imagine this: You're on a date. As usual, things aren't going very well. She's finished her 3rd drink and still sees a slack jawed lummox when she looks across the table. The tab arrives. You, being the sucker that you...

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Black Skeleton Swimsuit

James Lillis designed black swimsuit with anatomical skeleton print. IT's a little too see-through for me. I wish it would've stopped at the epidermis. But the bones leave a little to the imagination I guess. Matching...

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Zombie Stitch Necklace

$28 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you...

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Street Art Walls Notebook

$13 from Amazon »

Practice your best Banksy rip-off on 80+ pages of New York City walls in this cleverly designed notebook. I guess if you come up with something decent, you can search out the real scene and replicate it. Then go to jail....

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The World In A Bottle

$25 from Etsy »

Tiny, intricate and detailed. How someone has the patience to do this, I don't know. You have to have very small, steady hands to get into this kind of work I'd imagine. Maybe it's the same person who did this nano origami....

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Handerpants

$11.08 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect...

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Lil' Jason Necklace

Discontinued

A smaller cuter version of the always lovable psychopath Jason Voorhees. Complete with signature hockey mask and machete, this Crystal Lake resident hopes to find a safe home between a nice set of breasts....

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The iNecklace

$75 from adafruit.com »

Sophisticated. Elegant. Open Source. The iNecklace is a gorgeously machined aluminum pendant with a subtle pulsating LED. Perfect for the playa or with Prada. Made for women who celebrate art, science, engineering and...

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Etch A Sketch Skirt

Discontinued

Turning iconic pieces of technology into clothing is something that has never occurred to me. Neither is wearing a skirt, but that all changed as soon as I came across this beauty. If you're in love with this... checkout...

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Smoking Mittens

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you insist on slowly killing yourself, I think it's only reasonable that you do it with warm hands and smelly mittens. The economy of design is pretty clever though, and I'll admit, there were a few drunken nights...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Porcelain Skulls

These remind me of the inside of a seashell combined with the skull of a superhuman... like Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie or Larry David. I think these are the type of pieces that you can't own if you also own little kids....

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Catalina Wine Mixer T-shirt

Sold Out from Amazon »

You're ready to run with the bulls? I've been earning and burning, snapping necks and cashing checks. Brennan, here's the thing. It's the Catalina fucking Wine Mixer, okay? It's the biggest helicopter-leasing event in...

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Beer Box Cowboy Hats

$24.95 - $34.95 from Amazon »

The time honored tradition of taking an empty twelve pack box and wearing it for a hat to impress women has finally been standardized. These hats are made from real beer boxes and are officially licensed. These are actually...

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Sex Panther Cologne

$55.77 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good...

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Beaker Muppet Halloween Costume

Sold Out from Etsy »

Do you want to be the coolest person at the party and have everyone love you? I've got you covered dude. Seriously though, how can the guy/girl wearing the gigantic Beaker head not be awesome? Clothes really can make...

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Bobcat Eyeball Ring

Discontinued

How many bobcats did this guy have to kill just for these rings? Who cares... it's worth it, because these are awesome. Great for punching people in the face and scaring off every woman that has a visual on you because...

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TRON Stainless Steel Black Ring

Discontinued

Do you really want to irritate your wife? Then demand that this be your wedding ring. Why not? Kind of makes a statement to would be criminals too. You're a dude wearing a black steel ring... you're a dude not to be messed...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Little Mermaid Ariel Costume

Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit...

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Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

Discontinued

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

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Hand Tattoos

Sold Out from Amazon »

Become an instant hit with you nephews and nieces (or your own kids if you're fertile/not sterile) with these temporary hand tattoos. Having trouble figuring out what to get toddlers for their birthdays? Just get them...

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Bill Solo T Shirt

Imagine if you will the genius of one William Murray playing Han Solo instead of that old hangdog expression you're used to from Harrison Ford. Maybe Star Wars could have finally become the comedy it aspired to be. Maybe...

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Super Mario Latex Dress

$205 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not...

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Ultra Realistic Silicone Zombie Mask

$689 from SPFX Masks »

These masks look like they come straight out of James Cameron's head. Super realistic masks will even fool your wife! Personally, I'd buy this with a chainsaw and a flip video camera and try and scare the shit out of...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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Sloth Mask From The Goonies

$29.99 from Amazon »

Baby Ruth? Hey you guuuuuyyyysss!!!!!! Mama, you've been bad. Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good....

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Nintendo Gameboy Dress

$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

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Play-Doh Cologne Spray

$47.37 from Amazon »

Damn son. If you're the kind of guy that wears cologne, then this is the perfect cologne for you. Makes you smell like a little kid again, which is really the only time you should wear cologne....

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IWC Aquatimer Galapagos Islands Chronograph Watch

$6,900 from IWC »

Do you want to get laid? I mean REALLY get laid. I know you do. And this is just the kind of watch that can accomplish that all on its own. Walk into a bar and order a Glenlivet, neat. Reach out with your left hand to...

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Vintage Style Medic Messenger Bag

$16.99 from Amazon »

These messenger bags are really getting out of hand. Do guys really have that much crap to carry around? I guess if you're a guy who has to carry around his sketch pad or idea book and an apple or some shit all day, this...