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Handerpants

$10.43 from Amazon »

Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect...

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Lil' Jason Necklace

Discontinued

A smaller cuter version of the always lovable psychopath Jason Voorhees. Complete with signature hockey mask and machete, this Crystal Lake resident hopes to find a safe home between a nice set of breasts....

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The iNecklace

$75 from adafruit.com »

Sophisticated. Elegant. Open Source. The iNecklace is a gorgeously machined aluminum pendant with a subtle pulsating LED. Perfect for the playa or with Prada. Made for women who celebrate art, science, engineering and...

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Etch A Sketch Skirt

Discontinued

Turning iconic pieces of technology into clothing is something that has never occurred to me. Neither is wearing a skirt, but that all changed as soon as I came across this beauty. If you're in love with this... checkout...

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Smoking Mittens

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you insist on slowly killing yourself, I think it's only reasonable that you do it with warm hands and smelly mittens. The economy of design is pretty clever though, and I'll admit, there were a few drunken nights...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Porcelain Skulls

These remind me of the inside of a seashell combined with the skull of a superhuman... like Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie or Larry David. I think these are the type of pieces that you can't own if you also own little kids....

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The Ridge Slim Front Pocket Wallets

$45 - $105 from The Ridge »

Don't let overstuffed, bulging bi-folds infiltrate your pockets! Fight the Costanza Effect! Get on the Ridge! The Ridge slim front pocket wallets highlight 2 EDC must-haves, simplicity and compactness, across a line of...

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Catalina Wine Mixer T-shirt

Sold Out from Amazon »

You're ready to run with the bulls? I've been earning and burning, snapping necks and cashing checks. Brennan, here's the thing. It's the Catalina fucking Wine Mixer, okay? It's the biggest helicopter-leasing event in...

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Beer Box Cowboy Hats

$24.95 - $34.95 from Amazon »

The time honored tradition of taking an empty twelve pack box and wearing it for a hat to impress women has finally been standardized. These hats are made from real beer boxes and are officially licensed. These are actually...

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Sex Panther Cologne

$55.77 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good...

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Beaker Muppet Halloween Costume

Sold Out from Etsy »

Do you want to be the coolest person at the party and have everyone love you? I've got you covered dude. Seriously though, how can the guy/girl wearing the gigantic Beaker head not be awesome? Clothes really can make...

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Bobcat Eyeball Ring

Discontinued

How many bobcats did this guy have to kill just for these rings? Who cares... it's worth it, because these are awesome. Great for punching people in the face and scaring off every woman that has a visual on you because...

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TRON Stainless Steel Black Ring

Discontinued

Do you really want to irritate your wife? Then demand that this be your wedding ring. Why not? Kind of makes a statement to would be criminals too. You're a dude wearing a black steel ring... you're a dude not to be messed...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Little Mermaid Ariel Costume

Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit...

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Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

Discontinued

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

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Hand Tattoos

$7.44 from Amazon »

Become an instant hit with you nephews and nieces (or your own kids if you're fertile/not sterile) with these temporary hand tattoos. Having trouble figuring out what to get toddlers for their birthdays? Just get them...

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Bill Solo T Shirt

Imagine if you will the genius of one William Murray playing Han Solo instead of that old hangdog expression you're used to from Harrison Ford. Maybe Star Wars could have finally become the comedy it aspired to be. Maybe...

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Super Mario Latex Dress

$205 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not...

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Ultra Realistic Silicone Zombie Mask

$689 from SPFX Masks »

These masks look like they come straight out of James Cameron's head. Super realistic masks will even fool your wife! Personally, I'd buy this with a chainsaw and a flip video camera and try and scare the shit out of...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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Sloth Mask From The Goonies

Sold Out from Amazon »

Baby Ruth? Hey you guuuuuyyyysss!!!!!! Mama, you've been bad. Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good....

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Nintendo Gameboy Dress

$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

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Play-Doh Cologne Spray

$39.50 from Amazon »

Damn son. If you're the kind of guy that wears cologne, then this is the perfect cologne for you. Makes you smell like a little kid again, which is really the only time you should wear cologne....

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IWC Aquatimer Galapagos Islands Chronograph Watch

$6,900 from IWC »

Do you want to get laid? I mean REALLY get laid. I know you do. And this is just the kind of watch that can accomplish that all on its own. Walk into a bar and order a Glenlivet, neat. Reach out with your left hand to...

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Vintage Style Medic Messenger Bag

$16.99 from Amazon »

These messenger bags are really getting out of hand. Do guys really have that much crap to carry around? I guess if you're a guy who has to carry around his sketch pad or idea book and an apple or some shit all day, this...