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Comfi Memory Foam Hoodie

$88 - $117 Comfi »

What's this, Comfi memory foam hoodie? Like walking around with a mattress strapped to my back? A butt pillow built in to my sweatshirt? Ha! Haha! That sounds ridiculous!...

Foldies Polarized Folding Sunglasses

$89 Amazon »

If you've got that sunshine in your pocket, better keep a pair of Foldies folding sunglasses in your other one. The unisex wayfarers have a hinge at their bridge and on each arm to break them down into a compact puck...

VERTIX GPS Adventure Watch

$599 - $699 Coros »

The VERTIX GPS Adventure Watch endeavors to be a technological sherpa for your outdoor expeditions. Part navigator, part activity tracker, but stronger than both (like Michael the Lycan-vampire hybrid from Underworld!)...

Teeth Whitening Pen

Sold Out Amazon »

The only thing that sucks worse than yellow teeth is trying to whiten them with strips, trays, or whitening pens like this one, and spending the next few weeks feeling like everything that touches my teeth, including...

Mommy's Touch Shark's Tooth Silicone Chewelry

Sold Out Amazon »

Welp, Junior's teething gums and fidgety tendencies will be assuaged by some Shark's Tooth Silicone Chewelry, but I'm not sure how his neck and lungs are gonna feel after he strangles himself with the necklace's cord...

Taco Bell Hot Sauce Bikini & Swim Trunks

$60 Taco Shop »

Are you ready for the hot sauce challenge...of wearing a Taco Bell Sauce Packet Bikini or Swim Trunks on the beach this summer? Taco Bell's Taco Shop Summer Collection features a handful of fiery items that will let everyone...

Shark Learns to Fly Necklace

$56 Etsy »

The Shark Learns to Fly Necklace isn't artist Teresa Chadwick's first time at the Whimsical Clay Rodeo. I first saw her Etsy shop, Curious Burrow, about 6 years ago when she won me over with her Sloth Rings. I hadn't...

me Sleek Face & Body Permanent Hair Removal System

Sold Out Amazon »

Dudes and ladies, maybe you dig your hairy back / chest / arms / legs / upper lip. But if you're here reading about the me Sleek Face & Body Permanent Hair Removal System, my guess is you're more of the mindset that these...

Swiss Army I.N.O.X. Carbon Firefighters' Watch

$995 Victorinox »

Victorinox honors and shows deserved gratitude to our firefighters with the latest 1,200-piece limited edition of their I.N.O.X Carbon series Swiss Army watch...

VIA Waterproof Knit Shoes

$99 - $109 VIA »

VIA Knit Shoes are treated with a Nano-Tech Membrane that repels both water and dirt for up to 2 hours of tromping around in mud puddles on a rainy spring day. They're also convertible sneaks, with fold-over flaps that...

Hoverpen

$99 - $399 Amazon »

Really, no one made a vertical Hoverpen before now? Seems like creating objects that magically levitate (i.e., doing clever things with a magnetic field) went almost as viral as making fidget toys there for a year or...

Volcom Men's Recliner Leather Flip-Flops

Sold Out Amazon »

Volcom's Recliner Leather Sandals are flip-flops fit for those vacation days when your wife wants to go touring and shopping and bar hopping, but you're feeling more like a La-Z-Boy who just wants to lounge by the pool...

Bulletproof Men's Underwear

So what exactly does the Like New qualifier on these bulletproof men's underwear mean? The exact words in Sportsman's Guide's listing are British Military Surplus Blast Shorts With Kevlar, Like New. Are they saying, "Yeah...

LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab

$11.95 Amazon »

The LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab: "Because there is no Planet B." Hear that, ocean-polluting and marine-life-skewering Q-Tips?...

The Lawn Mower Manscaping Electric Trimmer

Discontinued

The first scene in the video for the Lawn Mower 2.0 electric trimmer for manscaping is pretty much exactly what I'd envision the Lawn Mower 2.0 would do to my private regions if I used it: the Happy Trail becomes the...

Vesper Vibrator Necklace

$69 - $150 Uncommon Goods »

Oooh, the Vesper Vibrator Necklace also comes in a 24K gold version in case you're still compiling your adults only Easter basket, or need a gift for Mother's Day...

Eagle Creek Migrate Duffel Bag

$95.38 - $99 Amazon »

Eagle Creek's Migrate Duffel Bags get their water repellent coating, and glassy sheen, from windshield plastics the outdoor brand has recovered from landfills in Asia. The series of adventure bags comes in 90L (shown...

Vollebak Black Squid Color-Shifting Jacket

$995 Vollebak »

Vollebak's Black Squid Jacket, a color-shifting ski coat modeled after its namesake's adaptive camouflage, follows the futuristic clothing brand's efforts to turn world's thinnest material, graphene, and world's hottest...

Deconstructed Cargo Pants

Discontinued

Deconstructed Cargo Pants. Deconstructed, indeed. Like shorts with a whole train of dingleberries...

Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes

$75 - $625 Amazon »

I'm not sure I'd want to put anything in these Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes and smoke it - they're just so intricate and byoo-tee-ful. And expensive. What if tobacco, or the stanky green stuff, ruined it?...

Parasoles - 3D Recovery Socks with Polymer Soles

$55 Parasoles »

While I haven't tried Parasoles myself, I have seen the funky sock-shoes in action on another dude at my gym. He flippin'-tires loves them. Always tries to get me to try them on and see for myself, but uh, these so-called...

Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet

$36.32 Amazon »

The Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet helps you hike, paddle, sail, and hoof it 2 miles back to your hotel in the pouring rain assured that your valuables are safe and dry inside its impermeable TPU walls and IPX7-rated...

RepliCade Insert Coin Keychain

Sold Out Amazon »

RepliCade's Insert Coin Keychain is like this Arcade Belt Buckle, but maybe less offensive when you shove it someone's face to show off your new purchase. Like the pants bauble, the retro keychain is an authentic, 1:1...

Haeyo Mayo Hair Nutrition Mask

$16 Amazon »

Haeyo Mayo, 'eh? Now that looks like an April Fool's joke waiting to happen. It might not even be on purpose. A haircare product packaged in a squeeze bottle that looks exactly like the craft batch stuff my wife buys...