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Zombie Jesus Pendants

By: on March 20, 2012
$60
from
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Say hello to Zombie Jesus, replete with putrefying flesh, and oozy bloody matter. This Easter, you may want to think twice before taking communion. Etsy vendor ChewsBrains (awesome, right?) hand carves the Lord's face, teeth, and neck, and then lovingly hand paints them with acrylic to achieve the daintily morbid masterpiece that will render your bosom even more captivating than it already is. Get ready to be the perpetual target of prolonged stares, infatuated leers, and a string or two of drool.

Being custom forged, each Zombie Jesus pendant varies slightly in its contusions, festering wounds, and blood trickles. However, all Christ mugs are matte sealed, with blood and gore gloss sealed for maximal slippery-looking visuals. Dimensions are approximately 3.5" tall x 2" wide, and all pendants include a 16" to 18" ribbon or ball chain necklace, per buyer request. The ChewsBrains gothic gift wrap is provided free of charge.

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Zombie Apocalypse Bedding

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Flayed Flesh Garters

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Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

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Zombie Head Bowling Balls

Zombies really have taken over the world, huh? Or at least the free market economy. The clever German capitalists who designed this introduction of the omnipresent living dead to the bowling alley made a good move though....

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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

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In Case Of Cabinets

$188 from In Case Of »

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...

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Zombie Tools

$189.95 - $574.95 from Zombie Tools »

Am I tired of zombies? Mmm...not really. Am I tired of ominous-looking, exceptionally hand-smithed swords and knives and machetes with blades sharp enough to slice through 24 cans of PBR in one blow (and a few tries)?...

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$8.90 from Amazon »

Which Cult Should I Join? Seeing as it's Sunday and all, I'm sure you've been asking yourself this question all morning. And not only does Jo Stewart have the answer in full book form, she's used the Choose-Your-Own Adventure...

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Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe

Discontinued

Blacksmith Stephen Heeney designed and welded this chain link axe himself. He does not recommend using it to chop wood. He recommends using it to hack the ever loving viral entrails and decaying brain matter out of zombies....

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Zelda Poe Soul in a Bottle Necklace

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If I killed dead a being of pure hatred and encapsulated it in its lantern, I'd take the rupees from the Poe Collector for it rather than let it dangle from my neck so dangerously close to my heart. Sure Poe Souls can...

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