Mall Massacre Zombie Hunting Expedition

By: on April 07, 2012
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As if $80 Jessica Simpson shoes, $14,000 Victoria Beckham handbags, and $50 Adam Levine perfume weren't scary enough, now the mall, just like the bowling alley, has been overtaken by zombies. Your mission: kill them. Kill them all.

Wish.co.uk has converted an abandoned shopping center in Reading (sorry, citizens of the USA, that's England, not Pennsylvania) into a dark, dank, smoke-filled, bone-munching nest of blood-dripping walking dead just waiting to start a massacre. Will you enter the fray? Will you allow your brain to be devoured and your body to be torn apart, or will you lead the offense, doling out dismemberment and obliteration to all zombie abominations in your path? The opportunity is upon you, the is expedition launching. The time to man up and rid the world--or at least the Macy's and Forever 21--of apocalyptic mayhem is now.

The ultimate in simulated experiences, Zombie Shopping Mall expeditions begin with a visit to the Police Special Zombie Bashing Unit. Here, the experts debrief and arm with airsoft weapons groups of up to 15 warriors committed to ridding the pillar of capitalism of the undead. Once participants get the lay of the land, and ready, aim, fire training is complete, the "run and gun" battle begins.

As groups are dispatched into the mall, and combat maneuvers unfold in real time, you'll find the attack is as much about strategizing as unleashing rounds of ammo--the latter will be limited, and chances to refuel few. Along the long halls and aisles, through the abandoned racks, up and down the ever-humming escalators you'll stalk the skull-munchers, trying to keep your heart in check surrounded by the ominously authentic, straight-out-of-Zombieland setting. Which is trumped only by the film-quality gore and distortion painted on the horrifying faces and shuffling bodies of your targets themselves. The zombies may sneak up on you alone, or they may descend in packs. Their skin will be melting, their blood will be dripping, and their appetites will be insatiable. You may not have caused this apocalypse, but amidst the dilapidated storefronts of the Reading Mall, you will have one, and only one, chance to stop it.

All zombie hell breaks loose every Saturday and Sunday about 25 minutes by train from the London Paddington station. Each day runs two sessions apiece, 9 am to 1 pm, and 1 pm to 5 pm. Please leave your own weapons, your weak stomach, and your zombie sympathies at home.

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