Personalized Name or Message Thong
Although these personalized name or message thong underwear are super...duper...sexy, I could never ask my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, to place a chain link g-string between her cheeks. I mean, eek. Talk about a chafing nightmare. Isn't cheap toilet paper bad enough?
On the other hand, maker Custom Luxe Jewelry, does designate their personalized thongs as a possible addition to your BDSM or fetish collection, so maybe my wife isn't the intended audience after all.
Dude. Don't say it. Don't...keep my wife's name out your f**kin' mouth!
Custom Luxe Jewelry will personalize your thong with up to 6 letters on each side. Choose from a gold, white gold, or rose gold chain, and white or black colors for the (thankfully) fabric triangle holding the thong together at the front.
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Lightsaber Willy Warmer
This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up...
/denim-thong-underwear-59775.jpg?mode=crop "Denim Thong Underwear")
Denim Thong Underwear
I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having...
/mens-half-thong-nsfw-41866.jpg?mode=crop "Men's Half Thong (NSFW)")
Men's Half Thong (NSFW)
Never mind all the male bush and taint action going on in these Men's Half Thong photos, what I really want to know is: how the half thong does a dude wear a half thong? How does it stay on? Is there an adhesive involved?...
/oral-me-thong-underwear-38729.jpg?mode=crop "Oral Me Thong Underwear")
Oral Me Thong Underwear
This isn't the first time a thong has been compared to dental floss. But with the Oral Me thong underwear, ladies might be more inclined to accept, maybe even champion, the connection. Because here it's not about some...
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5-Toe Flip-Flops
These 5-toe flip-flops are made by Sazzi, and I know I sure can't think of a better word to describe them. Made with 10 separate, articulating toe platforms and a post (i.e., thong, tha-thong, thong, thong) to cordon...
/black-cat-bra-56492.jpg?mode=crop "Black Cat Bra")
Black Cat Bra
Ladies, want some kitties for your titties? And your kitty, because this black cat bra also comes with a matching thong. The lingerie set from Adore Me adds a pair of cute cat pasties to an unlined black tulle bra, plus...
/rihannas-savage-x-fenty-53793.jpg?mode=crop "Rihanna's Savage X Fenty Lingerie for Men")
Rihanna's Savage X Fenty Lingerie for Men
Rihanna's Savage X Fenty lingerie line originally set out to disrupt the industry and redefine sexy with fashionable designs that are both affordable and suited to all types of bodies. The recently released Savage X Fenty...
/strip-straps-ankle-straps-27051.jpg?mode=crop "Strip-Straps - Ankle Straps for Flip-Flops")
Strip-Straps - Ankle Straps for Flip-Flops
Name that sound: Smack, smack, smack...hrrghh! It's your flip-flops flip-flopping along a trail, boat deck, or sidewalk. And then it's your flip-flops catching an edge and slipping off your foot while you grunt out an...
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini
Rudolph Mankini, reporting for sleigh-driving, eye-popping, nut-hugging duty! Christmas suit meets birthday suit in this jolly, Borat-approved (and sexy-time-ready!) men's thong. Ownership of the Rudolph Mankini means...
/from-delightful-to-disturbing-50063.jpg?mode=crop "From Delightful to Disturbing: 15 Personalized Gifts")
From Delightful to Disturbing: 15 Personalized Gifts
WARNING: A couple of the personalized gifts in my 15-strong collection of personalized gifts aren't just disturbing, they're a little NSFW. And the last one is both very disturbing and very NSFW. Because when I say "personalized...
/personalized-george-costanza-56030.jpg?mode=crop "Personalized George Costanza Beach Photobomb")
Personalized George Costanza Beach Photobomb
The original photobomb, credited to George Costanza on Seinfeld Season 9, Episode 7, "The Slicer," can now be yours. And not just yours in the hand, but yours in the face too! Shop Cafe Disco will personalize the iconic...
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Personalized LEGO Minifigure
LEGO my head! Your personalized LEGO minifigure awaits, at least from the neck up, courtesy of your submitted photos and Funky 3D Faces' 3D printing skills. The Etsy shop will transform any man, woman, or child submitted...