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The Pillow Tie

By: on February 18, 2012
$19.95
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Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for down or memory foam headrests. They have about enough surface area to accommodate an ear and half a cheekbone, and their cushioning capabilities are effectively a product of their wearers' breath. Which most likely reeks of the 64 ounces of last-ditch caffeinated effort said wearers drank prior to abandoning all attempts at productivity in favor of passing out on their Herman Miller office modules, nestled--and drooling--into their inflatable neckties. But, hey, at work, on an airplane, trapped in a closet, the portable and subtle sleep aids are nothing short of godsends.

Pillow Tie outer fabric is a boardroom blend of microfiber and silk, while the removable inflatable insert comprises the same durable PVC plastic used in traditional relaxation devices, such as pool rafts and blow-up dolls. When not aiding in nap action, the tie's Clark Kent alter ego ensures its slumbering powers and plastic inflation valve remain hidden, allowing the neck accessory to enjoy anonymity amongst its fellow symbols of the corporate rat race. Ties come in many pre-selected, as well as player's choice, colors and patterns. They promise not to bleed on your white shirt, or wrinkle easily, and they are proud to be soft, giving, and supportive, even to users with abnormally large heads of up to 25 pounds. While the inflatable piece can be removed from the Pillow Tie, it is not compatible with plebeian ties made by the likes of Armani and Bill Blass.

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MonPere Travel Pillow

$71 from MonPere »

MonPere says its new travel pillow, which looks like the arms of a Sesame Street character on a mission to give hugs / snap necks, is "weird for a reason." Apparently, the company's years of testing and prototyping the...

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$49.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

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Sometimes you need a fishing hook in the middle of Denali. Sometimes you need a bottle opener in the middle of a Monday morning meeting. The Cache Belt can help you out with both lifesavers in both spots. Plus a needle...

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The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

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Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

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Slumber Cloud Cooling Bedding

$49.99 - $210 from Slumber Cloud »

Somewhere between hot and cold there's a comfy, soft, temperate Slumber Cloud. Based on heat-absorbing / heat-releasing technology originally engineered for NASA astronauts, Slumber Cloud bedding includes a complete line...

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Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

$388 - $776 from Aries »

The Solar AC Bed wants to make it a Bananarama cool (cool!) cool summer without draining your wallet or sucking excess power from the grid. This modular cot frame surrounds your existing bed and absorbs solar energy throughout...

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Acid Trip Pillow

$28.87 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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Punchable USB-Connected Enter Key Pillow

$14.99 from Amazon »

Need to blow off some stress? Just hit Enter. Hard. This USB-connected Enter Key Pillow redefines what it means to punch a QWERTY key. In the best, best possible way. Hook the oversized, tetromino-style pillow into a...

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The Purple Bed

$699 - $1,299 from Amazon »

I hope this Purple Bed isn't a People Eater disguised as a mattress. Because it sounds too good to be true. Both soft and firm in all the right spots. Temperature neutral, so it won't absorb heat and make you cold, or...