Accessories

Submerge Waterproof Wallet & Cardholder

$55 Amazon »

Whether it's in water, snow, sweat, or bulk wrestling Jello, the Submerge waterproof wallet and cardholder lets you do just that. Submerge. Without worrying your cash, cards, keys, and other small EDC will follow the...

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses

$15.59 Amazon »

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses are convex configurations of UV-resistant PC panels and UV400 lenses made to protect not just your eyes, but also your nose and mouth, from the blinding and burning rays of the sun. And maybe...

Dango MC01 Titanium Money Clip

Money, money, money, mooooneyyyy! Dango introduces the MC01 Titanium Money Clip for dudes who aren't into urban traveling light with just a few cards and a slim front pocket wallet. Dudes who don't care that cash is a...

Cloos x Brady Sunglasses Collection

$189 Amazon »

Excuse me while I don my Cloos x Brady Sunglasses and practice my Tom-Brady-gazing-off-in-the-distance pose. It's, like, that same look in every photo of TB modeling his Christopher Cloos eyewear collaboration. What's...

Dusk - App-Enabled Electrochromic Smart Sunglasses

$179 - $299 indiegogo »

Ampere's Dusk Sunglasses are electrochromic smart sunglasses whose tint you can increase and decrease over 3 levels with a hidden button on one of the temples, or with the eyewear's app. They're kind of like the physical...

Miniature VHS Movie Keychain Charms

$5 Etsy »

Make your favorite flicks of the 80s and 90s - and the VHS tapes that housed them - part of your EDC with these Miniature VHS Movie Keychain Charms. Available in dozens of different titles, the nostalgic trinkets are...

Half Frame Rhinestone Glasses

$15.99 - $17.99 Amazon »

Or should I call them Half Frame Rhinestone Non-Glasses? The "W" shape of that lady's...uh...eyewear must stand for "What the four-eyes are these things?!" They don't improve your vision, they don't help you see in the...

Flippin' Mittens

If you can't score a pair of Bernie Mittens, might I suggest Flippin' Mittens as a close second in eye-catching and meme-worthy mitten designs? Running as a limited edition from Matt Benedetto's Unnecessary Inventions...

KATANA Personal Safety Smartphone Wallet

Sold Out Amazon »

See that notch on the KATANA personal safety smartphone wallet? And the tab the lady is pulling on to draw something out of the back of the cardholder? Guess what it is. Nope. Not a katana. Not a sword at all. It's a...

Meal Socks Box

$43.49 Amazon »

Why do my burger & fries taste like cardboard? Actually, it's more like...poly-cotton yarn. Better wash it away with my beer - ugh! My beer tastes like sweaty feet! What is this, Heineken?...

Limited Edition The Mandalorian The Child 6-Pin Set

$59.89 Amazon »

The Baby Yodas in Amazon's limited edition The Mandalorian The Child 6-Pin Set have something poking out besides their ears. No! You dirty minds! Metal skewers soldered to each of their backs, so you can flair up your...

Torpedo Pill Holder

$16.99 Amazon »

Launch Vitamin D, CoQ10 & CBD missiles! For all your tough pills to swallow, here's the Torpedo Pill Holder, an even tougher container to carry them in. Made of aerospace aluminum, the projectile-shaped piece of EDC is...

Grid Antimicrobial Copper Wallet

$85 GRID »

The Grid Antimicrobial Copper Wallet would like to take you off the Grid. And by "you" I mean any bacteria and viruses that dare try to infiltrate its armor - the Grid Copper starts killing them upon contact...

Lucyd Loud Audio Sunglasses

$59.99 - $99.99 Lucyd »

Just as Bluetooth connectivity has brought us hands-free talking, it, along with gadgety eyewear like the Lucyd Loud Audio Sunglasses and Bose Frames, has kinda brought us ear-free listening. Lucyd Loud is fitted with...

The Dick Belt

$18.99 Etsy »

The Dick Belt is funny and all, but I'm not sure how many places I'd feel comfortable wearing it. Not because the belt itself looks stifling or like a gut digger, but because, I mean, do I really want to add "cock unfurling"...

Friendship Test Pin Set

$13.99 Amazon »

Why do I have to take a friendship test? Cornelius is my bro, he knows I'd do anything for him. Come over and jump his car at 6 a.m. Wingman him at an interpretive dance performance and reception the barista he's horndoggin'...

The Weatherman Umbrella for 55MPH Winds

$69 Amazon »

The Weatherman Umbrella knows not everyone can be Mary Poppins on a rainy day, but when the wind picks up anyone with a crappy umbrella can be...the dude who gets drenched and disheveled because his umbrella blows inside...

Pocket Cane - Ultra-Compact Walking Cane

$49 Amazon »

Instant pimp, at your service. And, sure, the Pocket Cane is also a convenient and less cumbersome way for the injured and elderly to keep a walking stick close at hand...

I Wash My Hands of The Virus COVID-19 Buttons

$14.95 - $118.95 Amazon »

I guess these I Wash My Hands of The Virus buttons are the equivalents of I Voted buttons for people who practice responsible COVID-19 prevention practices. Or maybe they'll appeal to the growing frustration with the...

GloFX Pixel Pro Infinite Portal Goggles

Sold Out Amazon »

Call me 4-eyes again and I'll suck you into the hell portals that are the outer 2 of them! Nah, I'm just kiddin'. I'm too high to do that right now. Let's just dance like maniacs to the strobing LEDs and pass out once...

CVS Receipt Scarf

$19.95 Amazon »

Thanks for shopping at CVS! Here's your 6'-long receipt for the pack of condoms you bought for you 6"-long penis. Yep, our receipts are long and strong, here to make you feel inadequate and environmentally unfriendly...

Nubrella Wearable Hands-Free Umbrella

Sold Out Amazon »

I don't know why my first instinct...and second and third...is to make fun of the Nubrella. A wearable hands-free umbrella that mounts to your back, shielding you from rain and shading you from sun, no gripping, positioning...

Beer Mug Socks

$34.90 Etsy »

These Beer Mug Socks are actually more like Beer Mug Leg Warmers, but yarn maestro Vicky Djokic probably figured referring to her most excellent hand-knit frothy pints o' brew as "leg warmer" would deter men from clicking...

Westwell Modular Tool Belts

$45 - $95 Westwell »

Westwell isn't the first handycompany to sneak tools into the buckles of their fashion belts, but they are the first I've seen to make the tools modular and swappable, as well as with an option to keep them completely...