Caged Animal Gorilla Costume

$187.99 from Amazon »

Its vendors describe this gorilla toting a human around in a cage as "the most incredible adult costume you've ever seen." And while the only way that statement could be even remotely true is if Kate Upton were wearing...

Venom Mask

$694.95 from Composite Effects »

At first I just thought this Venom mask was realistic-looking in a cool way. Then I watched the video of the guy silently barking and growling with it on, and I still think it's realistic-looking. In a way that indicates...

Catnip Joints

$10 - $19.50 from Stark Raving Cat »

Legal in all 50 states! Though I'm pretty sure Catnip Joints are the inverse of marijuana joints. In the sense that all the cats I've ever seen lie around and sleep all day, pausing only to look at you with complete disinterest...

Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

Ladies' Superhero Rompers

$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

These caped superhero rompers for ladies look like pajamas, comfy Halloween costumes, and instant pants snake charmers all rolled into one. Another trifecta the onesies manage to nail:...

OppoSuits

$99.95 - $109.95 from Amazon »

Why settle for becoming a walking eyesore from just the waist up? Sweaters now have some competition for the World's Tackiest title, courtesy of tailored male fashion. OppoSuits are...did you figure it out?...the opposite...

Dimond Knife Sharpener

Sold Out from Amazon »

The thing I remember most about last month is suction. Thanks to the Mighty Mug, I have never been more impressed by this simple method of sticking things to other things. No joke. After passing a couple of Mighty Mugs...

Waves MFS Physio-Tactical Pocket Stick

Sold Out from Amazon »

Designer Rainer Wenning calls his Waves MFS a "physio-tactical" palm stick, which might be the best bit of pretentious, made-up terminology I've ever heard. Because what "physio-tactical" basically means is that after...

Seek Thermal Camera for Smartphones

$249 - $299 from Seek Thermal »

Detect infrared "light" on your iPhone or Android with Seek, a thermal imaging camera that can identify objects' emissions in both daylight and the black of night. It's an affordable gadget for consumers to dink around...

Hush Moonshine

According to Hush, "The moonshine business was built on confidence, loyalty and the ability to keep secrets." That's a nice way to put it. Nicer than, "The moonshine business originated as an illegal and criminal activity...

MistoBox Coffee Bundle

MistoBox's continual variety of fresh, hand-selected beans makes AeroPressing your morning coffee a task that never gets dull. Their monthly delivery service also makes it one that never gets interrupted by the painful...

Big Boss Oil-Less Fryer

$85.89 from Amazon »

We all know there are 2 failsafe ways to make any food taste good: 1) Add bacon; 2) Batter and deep fry. Too bad both make you tub out and smell bad. However, for those intent on eating their nightly helping of fried...

RuckPack Combat Tested Energy Drink

If anyone needs to reach and maintain peak mental and physical performance, it's US Special Operations Forces stationed in Afghanistan. So a team of them, led by Rob Dyer, designed RuckPack nutrition and energy drink...

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Structure 3D Sensor

Giveaway: Structure 3D Sensor

3D scanning. Instant measurements. Augmented reality. And mobility. Get them all when you enter to win a Structure 3D Sensor from Occipital! A $379 value!...

In Case Of Cabinets

$188 from In Case Of »

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...

The Whiskey Wedge

$19.95 from Amazon »

One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn...

Flame Smart Heated Base Layer

$135 from indiegogo »

In cities with bitter winters, it seems like it's always one extreme or the other: not enough clothing and you're colder than a well digger's asshole; or too many layers and you're walking around in -2 degrees sweating...

Alien Mind Control Mask

$97.99 from The Horror Dome »

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

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Bees Knees Spicy Honey

$14 from MixedMade »

I'm not sure I can wrap my head around the implications--the glorious, glorious implications--of what essentially amounts to the honey bear being left alone with the Sriracha rooster in a kitchen cabinet for too long....

Chemist's Spice Rack

$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

I'm trying to think of a way to spin the Chemist's Spice Rack into something besides the perfect gift for a complete culinary geek, but...donut hole. Then again, as evidenced by the comments on ThinkGeek's listing of...

Eco-Egg Automatic Mini Washing Machine

$115 from Amazon »

Could your days of quarter hoarding and letting sweat-saturated clothes pile up until your entire room smells like a festering colony of bacteria because you can't do laundry until you have a full load be over? Eco-Egg...

Viveltre Gourmet Marshmallows

$5.99 - $9.99 from Viveltre »

Today's Lesson: If you're going to eat...hold on, let me count...30 jumbo marshmallows for breakfast, they may as well be jumbo marshmallows that are F'ing. Delicious. Viveltre, confectioner and administrator of my lesson...

RipSurfer X - Surf Trainer Workout System

From Shark Tank to Crunch Fitness to your living room. Or backyard. Or the beach. Be one of the first to get a RipSurfer X surf trainer and its shredding total-body workouts for $125 off retail price with this Dude Exclusives...

You Have to F**king Eat

$11.91 from Amazon »

If I had a kid I think I would be way more concerned about it not going the fuck to sleep than not fucking eating because, I mean, the hours from bedtime to the ass crack of dawn when the kid inevitably wakes back up...

DUBS Advanced Tech Earplugs

$25 from DUBS »

I always wear earplugs when I go out at night. Not only do they protect what little hearing I have left, but if someone ugly comes up and tries to talk to me they also give me an easy out: I just point at my ears, conjure...

Scorpion Blade Arm Gauntlet

$45.77 from Amazon »

A scorpion in appearance, a fantasy knife in name, a DEATH STALKER in action. BladesUSA has your cosplay night, your Halloween costume, and your one-man S&M show covered....

Recycled Motorcycle Carburetor Planter

Sold Out from Etsy »

If I had an old motorcycle carburetor I would probably throw it in a dump truck on its way to a landfill, where it would join the other mountains of trash in a slow but eternal process of killing living things. A far...

Keypad Fix Remote Control Reviver

$4.95 from Amazon »

Now this looks like a fun project for a Wednesday night. Gather up all of the remote controls with buttons to which I must apply approximately 18 kilonewtons of force* to get to work, and fix them with some goo that looks...

Alpha Minimal Wallet with RFID Protection

$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Hold your cash and cards tight, and the data they hold even tighter. Get an Alpha minimalist wallet with RFID protection for $29.99, 33% off retail price for a limited time from Dude Exclusives....

Krazy Beaver Super Shovel

$89.99 from Krazy Beaver Tools »

I want to know what crazy beaver Krazy Beaver Tools encountered that would make them think up a shovel that looks like this. My entire crotchal region recoils into my bladder at the mere sight of its teeth. Those aren't...

Back to the Future II Light Up Shoes

In 2011 Nike made 1,500 pairs of Marty McFly 2015 Air Mag replicas and auctioned them to benefit The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. Rumor has it the company will release another round, this one with...

Karma Go LTE Hotspot

Pre-order Karma's latest personal, portable, pocket-sized hotspot, the Karma Go with nationwide LTE coverage, plus 1GB of free data. Just $99 from Dude Exclusives. That's 33% off the $149 retail price....

Time Bomb Kitchen Timer

$10.27 from Amazon »

They could have done so much more when they decided to turn a ticking time bomb into a kitchen timer. I think rather than twisting the center people should be able to pull the fuse to set it. And then with each passing...

Seatylock Bike Saddle Lock

$85 from Seatylock »

They'll still probably slash up your saddles just to be a-holes, but Seatylock hopes its clever security measures will simultaneously prevent thieves from stealing your bike...or your seat...and relieve you of the burden...

Vencer Sarthe

$350k from Vencer »

Sarthe is first a region/river in France and second a semi-permanent race course most famous for its role in the 24 Hours of Le Mans and third a word that sounds like it belongs in the Star Wars narrative. So Dutch brand...

Wearable Japanese Futon

Funny how a mere 90-degree turn can transform this wearable Japanese futon from a reasonably comfortable night's sleep into an awkward, stifling onesie that probably goes swish, swish between your thighs with every step....

Rhino Shield iPhone 6 Screen Protector

$19.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get a Rhino Shield impenetrable scratch & impact screen for your new iPhone 6! Just $19.99, 33% off its $30 retail value, from Dude Exclusives....

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SnowLizard SLXtreme iPhone & iPad Cases

Giveaway: SnowLizard SLXtreme iPhone & iPad Cases

As indestructible and rugged as you are indefatigable and equal parts Shaun White and Bear Grylls. Enter to win a set of SLXtreme iPhone 5 and iPad 4 cases, plus Chest Mount and Nautical Kit accessories from SnowLizard!...

Mitten Flask

$17.99 from Perpetual Kid »

It's only natural that a company called Perpetual Kid would be selling a Mitten Flask. Ahhh, mittens. I lost so many of them sledding during Christmas vacation as a precocious 7-year-old. And ahhh, flasks. I always had...

Schnuzzle - Scent-Based Dog Toys

$27 from Schnuzzle »

Schnuzzle promises to be your best friend's new best friend. Why? Because it smells like bacon! And then it smells like BBQ beef! And then, suddenly, roast chicken! Nubby spherical and cylindrical dog toys with interchangeable...

Muse - Brain-Sensing Headband

$299 from Muse »

Headbands. They're not just for holding your hair back or making you look like Axl Rose anymore. In fact, Muse's headband can sense your brain. Or at least take its EEG readings, and use that information to help you learn...

Inflatable Chub Suits

$32.99 from Amazon »

WARNING: Keep Chub Suits away from fire. Ha! All I can think of after seeing these tub-o costumes and reading that line is the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Kids, take note: if you wear an inflatable Chub Suit this Halloween...

Cobra iRadar Smart Detector

$54.99 from Amazon »

Well. It will never achieve the legendary status of the Fuzzbuster, but Cobra's iRadar 200 does bring a few tricks of its own to the table. Paired with an iPhone or Android smartphone, this smart radar detector provides...

Star Wars Bantha Dog Costume

$22.60 from Amazon »

Even though the Shetland Sheepdog wearing this Bantha dog costume looks paralyzed with fear and has his tail planted so firmly between his legs it's probably corking his bunghole, I'm pretty sure he likes it. Right, Gingerbread?...

Neon Illuminated Bathtub

$2,400 from GNR 8 »

If Slimer slimed in a bathtub, it would probably look something like this illuminated Jan Puylaert design. Only, like...slimier. But Puylaert's self-standing tubs with built-in neon lighting systems don't look dirty or...

Pocketcopter - World's Smallest Flying Camera

$115 from indiegogo »

One way to take rad photos at unique angles is to climb on furniture and scale trees and hang from power lines. That's what Thomas, Mike, and Ricardo used to do. Until they broke one too many lamps and bones, at which...

StickR TrackR Bluetooth Location Stickers

$29.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The size of a quarter, the value of your sanity. Attach a StickR TrackR Bluetooth location sticker to any important item and maintain a permanent link to its whereabouts. Get a pair of the disks from Dude Exclusives for...

Abashiri Blue Beer

$8.19 - $21.19 from Firebox.com »

One guess as to where Abashiri Blue Beer comes from. Hint: not Smurf Village, and not outer space. Which leaves only one other logical choice, right? Yep: Japan....

f**ktionary

$24.99 from Amazon »

Not to brag, but...I'm pretty sure I coined the phrase "ass hornet" while sitting on the john one night after my friend Cornelius dared me to lace my chili with a tablespoon of powdered bhut jolokia. And now, after mere...

Hamster Wheel Standing Desk

FREE from Instructables »

Get in your wheels and start churning out the fiscal year-end spreadsheets, hamsters! And when you're done don't forget to thank me for the bulged disks and sciatica I'm preventing by allowing you to stand up and walk...

GoSafe 110 Dashcam

$89.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Record your drive for a safer ride and to ensure sob stories and blatant lies don't get the best of what really happened with the GoSafe 110 Dashcam. Available for $89.99, 35% off retail value, from Dude Exclusives....

Bradley Jim Beam Digital Smoker

$359.59 from Amazon »

I'm not sure what Jim Beam contributed to Bradley's 4-rack digital outdoor smoker besides his name and logo. Maybe he sprinkled each one with magical bourbon dust as it rolled off the assembly line. Whatever the draw...

LUCID 3D LED Mirror

$880 - $4,400 from Adam Frank »

Look into Adam Frank's LUCID Mirror and you'll see illuminated 3D clouds and sun rays, and maybe some other creepy CS Lewis or Mirror, Mirror Wicked Queen paranormal activity. Using a patent-pending method derived from...

Motorola Moto Hint Wireless Earbuds

$149.99 from Motorola »

The Walnut Moto Hint earbud looks like my mama's dining room table. And the Bamboo one like the living room floor. Black Leather desk chair. Dark Fabric foot stool. Thanks to Motorola, I'll soon be walking and talking...

Mighty Mug - The Mug That Won't Fall

$20 - $35 from Mighty Mug »

We've all done it: knocked over a cup of coffee/sodie/water/vodka tonic at work and ruined something important. Like my entire week. Jayme Smaldone and his Mighty Mug cohorts blew out an important office computer with...

3DRobotics IRIS+ Drone

$749.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

3DRobotics' IRIS+ is a sleek drone that flies either manually or completely unattended in 3DR's cutting edge autopilot mode wherever you want it to go. Get yours for $25 off the $775 retail price through the Dude Exclusives...

Striker II Utility Knife

$150 from Civilware »

Civilware makes the Striker II utility knife from a file, which they say is a prime source of high carbon tool steel. Since I have no knowledge to the contrary, I guess I'll buy that. I'll also buy that the annealing...

FlipBelt Fitness Storage Belt

$28.99 - $29.50 from Amazon »

One nice thing about the FlipBelt is that it doesn't appear to make you look like you're wearing a fanny pack or running to burn off that spare tire encircling your gut region. Slim, comfortable, and sturdy, the storage...

Griffin iPhone 6 Identity Case & Screen Protector

$29.98 from DudeIWantThat.com »

When the iStork drops your new baby iPhone 6 out of the sky, make sure your first bonding session doesn't involving nicking, scratching, or cracking its screen. Protect it with a Griffin Identity case and set of anti-glare...

Prep Pad Smart Food Scale

$102.64 from Amazon »

If you had a Prep Pad bumper sticker it would say, My food scale is an honor student. More than just showing how much the avocado weighs and flashing some pre-programmed nutritional information about a pound of pork loin...

AR-15 Rifle Clothes Hangers

$36 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Salt 'n' Pepa: You're a shotgun--bang! What's up with that thang? I wanna know how does it hang? Here, the answer is in the (fire)arms of an AR-15, and--...

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Triple Aught Design Outdoor Gear

Giveaway: Triple Aught Design Outdoor Gear

Gear up for your fall and winter outdoor pursuits in military-grade durability, Charmin-grade comfort, and Bond-grade style. Click here and enter to win a complete outdoor apparel package, plus a Skeleton Key Mini-Tool...

Beer Tree Gravity-Fed Home Brewer

Are normal home brewing kits typically boring and ugly? I don't really know, as I focus more on drinking beer than making beer (best to funnel all of your energy into a single channel and dominate it!) but whatever normal...

Confluence Topographic Tray

$1,700 from Artonomos »

Confluence looks so vast. Layers of birch plywood undulating over a rich landscape of smooth canyons and swirling colors carved especially to transport your wildest dreams and...your teapot. Zoom out. A little more. Oh....

8-Bit Flash Drive Keychains

$24.99 from Etsy »

Hand-carved with classic 8-bit game controllers, and personalized with a name...or your record Tetris score...by request, these 4GB USB flash drives will keep nostalgia close to your heart, and your keys close at hand....

Bubble Soccer Battle Balls

$320 from Amazon »

When I first saw these bubble soccer balls for sale I thought of the Human Slingshot. Of accidents waiting to happen. Of Darwin Awards. But apparently this is a sport that has been around Europe for a while, and is beginning...