A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

Order: Show:
Like & Follow Dude I Want That
Most Viewed Products
Thursday, December 5, 2013
$1.99 from Amazon »

Talk about the gift that keeps on giving. From stocking to cookie, and from cookie to belly, my friend. The Dipr solves the age-old calamity of sandwich cookies lost to murky emulsions of fat and protein. Oreos doing the backstroke...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$9.50 from Amazon »

They call it hot ice because sodium acetate is extremely unstable (probably moody and demanding too) and begins hardening immediately as it drops below its melting point of 58.4 to 58 degrees C (about 136.5 to 137 degrees...

Saturday, July 27, 2013
$26.11 from mzube »

Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a rise out of people with poor vision and the elderly. Grandma, help! I sliced through my finger and now the blood gushing from it has frozen in time!

mzone's dripping blood cutting...

Monday, September 16, 2013
$18.40 from Amazon »

Every time you masturbate, God chokes a kitten. I don't know if that bit of wisdom can be found in this Chinese to-go container of of X-Rated Fortune Cookies, but it should be a staple. Get your hands out of your pants and...

Saturday, February 2, 2013
$7.16 from Amazon »

Matthew Bowers' Girlfriend Written Performance Evaluation caters to all boyfriends. Meaning both the nice ones and the honest ones. The nice ones can blanket graded areas ranging from Cooking to Money & Finances to Gaming...

Monday, January 20, 2014
$14.44 from Amazon »

These are just the facts, dudes. Clinical reporting with complete objectivity. Nothing about how Smirnoff Whipped Cream vodka in a Shot Gun is a terrific way to break the ice with the ladies at a party. Nothing about the magnitude of genius you'll attribute to Lionel Richie for his description of the feeling--oh what a feeling!--of dancing on the ceiling after you've eaten 4 mushroom caps and a...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$245 from Etsy »

Stereotypes collide in this brainy game meets brawny hardware Tool Chess set. Each piece has been handcrafted from real nuts and bolts, plus additional steel flourishes to distinguish powder coated black and white pawns, knights...

Monday, November 4, 2013
$59.99 from ThinkGeek »

They may be only moderately reminiscent of the uniforms Picard & Co. wore in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but definitely these hoodies will be more comfortable, breathable, and sported acceptably by all shapes and sizes...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012
$599 from Aquarius PC »

Suck it, fishes! Thanks to AquariusPC, computers no longer have to gaze covetously at aquatic life, seething in envy over the cool, bubbly, pebble-smattered digs they thought they could never own. The Italian company has devised...

Saturday, September 7, 2013
$42.95 - $149.95 from Onnit »

On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012
$39.99 from Amazon »

I must have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow because Jack. Pot. My days of spending 15 minutes crouched over my cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy* brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as Peyton...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
$325 from Etsy »

What's better than an inked Felicia Hardy prancing around, getting limber on your pages of The Amazing Spider-Man as the Black Cat? A real live girl (or boy--we aim to please all orientations) prancing around, getting limber...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

The Dump & Punch. That's a better name than Blend and Cook for Cuisinart's soup-making blender. Because if their literature is to be trusted, all I'd need do to enjoy a vat of steaming cream of tomato is dump in some cream...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$19.99 - $39.99 from Tek Recon »

It seems to me that the favorite pastime of kids today is sitting on the couch watching TV shows with adult content and playing video games. And when you make them get off the couch and go outside, they partake in their second...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$120k - $170k from Legacy Power Wagon »

The Legacy Power Wagon. As the name suggests, it isn't new, but with only a handful crafted per year--by artisan auto mechanics at Legacy Classic Trucks in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--it remains one of the truck world's most coveted...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$119.93 - $149.95 from Amazon »

When I was 8 or so my family got one of those tactile floor lamps for the living room. Touch it once to light it, twice to make it brighter, thrice to illuminate all, and four times to return the world to darkness. It was...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014
$22.50 - $30 from Etsy »

Jeff Hornung of The Walnut Log handcrafts all of his works from fine and unique woods. In the case of our featured pen series, he incorporates some fine and unique objects as well: bullets. What normally fire out of barrels...

Saturday, October 12, 2013
$1,850 from Etsy »

Here's a snicker-worthy case of accidental black humor. Officially titled the Up North Fire Pit, this hand-cut steel sphere drew its inspiration from the majestical scenes and wildlife of Minnesota's north woods. And probably...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$125 - $1,699 from Kult »

Luke was never the apple of his daddy's eye, but thanks to fine artist Christian Waggoner, he will forevermore be the reflection in Vader's mask....

Friday, September 27, 2013
$69.50 from Garrett Wade »

The Yankee Push Drill does not plug into the wall, which means its successful use is dependent entirely upon the well-oiled machine that is its handler's body. I bet my right arm and shoulder would be sore for 3 days if I...

Bar
Thursday, November 21, 2013
$26 from Shapeways »

A bird in the hand is worth...nowhere near as much to me as a shot of Fireball in the hand. Birds are dirty and carry avian flu and salmonella. Even some of the cooked ones. Ahem, chicken. But hands. Hands are the poster child...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$32.79 from Firebox.com »

I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could also...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013
$85 from Hammerhead »

Shark Week loyalists already know that the hammerhead group boasts enhanced sensory receptors and maneuvering skills. Plus, its butt ugly face, which looks to have been on the receiving end of a Bugs Bunny self-defense effort...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$12.19 from Amazon »

I kept searching for more at the end of the Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too book title. Some ellipses leading into a second line of ...if They Want to Die Alone on the Couch with the A-holes, Who Will Then Eat Their Owners' Raw...

Sunday, January 26, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Double up on the fish & chips and nuggets with fries, or cook one big vat of extra crispy fried chicken with Secura's triple-basket deep fryer. The electric countertop model contains a 1700-watt immersion element said to preheat...

Thursday, August 1, 2013
$399.99 from NOCQUA »

I bet slumbering sea life are gonna love getting a shot of over 1,000 lumens of light in the eye post nightfall. Seriously. It will help the ones who need to get up and take a leak find the bathroom. As for the rest, eh, fish...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
By: Flickr

If you can't afford the $55k price tag on the real TRON Light Cycle there's always this. And it's not a bad consolation prize. Are LEGOS the hippest toy around or what?...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
$99 from Yellow Jacket »

In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The Yellow...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$11.01 from Amazon »

Grow Glow Snow! It's not a request, it's an order, son! Get a bowl! Get some water! Watch it expand to 100 times its starting size, just like a diaper that's been pissed in*! And, if you're a real man, turn off the lights...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A great way to settle arguments between siblings, the MMA throwdown bed gives parents the option to let their children battle to the death before night night time. No biting or hair pulling please....

Friday, December 27, 2013
$89.99 from Quirky »

Modular. It's going to take tactical to the octagon for the title of Most Profitable Buzzword. Modular cell phones, modular pens, and now a modular pocket knife. Quirky Inventor James Robinson's Swift is Swiss Army gone piecemeal....

Friday, January 18, 2013
$116 - $158 from Crocosaurus Cove »

I like to flirt with death every now and again. Provided death does its return eye bats and tooth flashes from the other side of an impenetrable fiberglass cage, anyway. Crocosaurus Cove Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
$2,250 from PowerDive »

Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience....

Friday, October 5, 2012
$14,900 from Hot Tug »

Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and a stainless...

Friday, September 7, 2012

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$4.90 from Amazon »

It looks like the powers that be, in a clandestine effort to identify all of the easily manipulated minds in the country, have incorporated a shell company to produce a bracelet which claims that just by wearing it, your body...

Monday, August 5, 2013
$220 from Hand-Eye Supply »

At first I wasn't sure why this Nata Hatchet costs so much, but then I read the item description on Hand-Eye Supply's listing and noticed it begins with "Behold." As in, "Behold, the mighty Bridgetown Forge x Hand-Eye Supply...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
$125 from Rogue Fitness »

SISU! is the Finnish word for stubborn determination, and an appropriate moniker for a 28-pound War Hammer that has a predominantly fitness-based application, but could also wallop the ever loving Fuck You out of the Delorean...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

United Nuclear's Nuclear Element Glow Soaps will scrub you clean. Clean and genetically modified. Maybe like Spider-Man. Maybe like Sloth from The Goonies....

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$27.99 from Amazon »

To use the sundial ring, hold it upright to align one of its 3 reference lines straight up. Calibrate to your time zone by using the reference line corresponding to to your latitude (i.e., northern cities use a different line...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$125 - $179 from Amazon »

A less expensive alternative to the Crypteks USB Drive, the Apricorn Aegis Secure Key Flash Drive boasts military grade full-disk AES 256-bit CBC hardware encryption, further protected by a 7- to 15-digit PIN-activated alphanumeric...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$19.95 from Amazon »

Everyone knows that pigs don't sweat. But if they did, they would smell like Power Bacon. And now too so can you. Just be sure to apply the deodorant with caution. Because while obviously nothing attracts the favor of a lady...

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$65 - $680 from Soylent »

Nary a week goes by that I don't hear about how my friend DeAndre just wishes they made a dog food for humans. Something containing all necessary nutrients, adequate calories, and appropriate protein:carb:fat ratios that requires...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$99.99 from Amazon »

Hot Wheels aren't exactly cost-prohibitive so I'll still probably just buy a few when I get a hankering to dick around with toy cars at work, but for the kiddos and handy Daddy-Os out there who dig doing things themselves...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$59.95 from Amazon »

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look at...

Sunday, June 16, 2013
$1,425 from Composite Effects »

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in my...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$422.80 from Amazon »

A tent that sets up in 15 seconds by way of human lung power and compacts to a size small enough to stuff into a water bottle when not in use. What egghead thought of this? Whomever you are, how's about heading over to my...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
$50 from indiegogo »

The more I think about the Triposo Travel Belt, a belt that connects to smartphones' Triposo navigation apps and vibrates on the left, right, front, or back of the body to indicate the direction the wearer is meant to go...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$58.99 - $65.99 from Amazon »

Call my name! Bastian, please! Save us! Did anyone else have trouble deciphering what Bastian actually said when he screamed out the name he had chosen for the Childlike Empress? I must have watched The Neverending Story a...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$800 from Etsy »

Talk about tying a room together. Etsy shop owner Allie, self-described hoarder and clearcut winner of Best Latch-Hooker on Earth*, spent over 220 hours immortalizing The Dude in dream sequence rug form. Urinate on this heart-stopping...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes sense....

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Discontinued

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes them...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$30 from Amazon »

I thought maybe SleepPhones blocked out the sounds of snoring and garbage trucks and sirens and stupid F'ing songbirds with some sort of industrial acoustic insulation woven inside their fleece headband, but the self-described...

Friday, October 19, 2012

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$2,499 from Double Robotics »

What if you could be in two places at once? I mean really. I mean more really than just having a view via a live video feed. What if you could walk around, look at, and engage with anyone or thing you wanted, with your face...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting...

Friday, July 29, 2011
$55.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$99.99 from Amazon »

I've always thought how nice it would be to have a cool, consistent breeze blowing up my shorts. I'm actually in the process of developing my own take on Air Jordans, called Air Up There Jordans. They'll have a ring-shaped...

Monday, March 18, 2013
$119.95 from Amazon »

They say the Grillbot, an automatic BBQ cleaner, is fully effective, easy to use, and, my favorite selling point, fun to watch. I mean, grilling season typically coincides with TV rerun season, so hell yeah I'm on the hunt...

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$149 from KidsEmbrace »

A Batman Car Seat?! Kids these days are so spoiled. When I was of car seat age my mama didn't even put me in a car seat. She strapped me down with bungee cords. And only on the inside of the car instead of the roof on days...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
$0.92 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...

Sunday, July 21, 2013
$479 from Amazon »

So I guess laborers can take a modicum of comfort in knowing that white collar jobs are beginning to get outsourced to robots as well. Unmanned aerial systems pioneer DJI Innovations fabricates a host of flightful fancies...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$225 from The Spiritree »

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is...

Thursday, January 23, 2014
$12 from Amazon »

From amidst the screams and chaos, the tension and the trash talk, the chili cheese dip and the chicken wings, a lone zombie hand breaks the surface. Rises up from the pooled blood of Mary. And what's this? Is it parading...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...