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Thursday, March 14, 2013
Muzzleshot Tactical Shot Glass
$34.95 - $199.95 from Muzzleshot »

A few months ago I would have been all over the Muzzleshot, a tactical shot glass crafted in the likeness of M16A2 weapons' flash hider. But after a recent, constitution-crushing experience with Fireball in DC, I'm sticking...

Sunday, October 21, 2012
Zip-Up Snow Goggle Coats
Discontinued

Looking like a bank robber or a rejected design for a Star Wars Stormtrooper has never been easier with Ai Riders on the Storm's hi-tech winter coats. Cutting onions in an igloo toasty and tear-free is now possible too! The...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
Decorated Nerd T-Shirt
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star Wars worship, comic book infatuation, and undying LEGO love. Fancy yourself a loyalist to their cause? Then grab thyself a Decorated Nerd T-Shirt and support the fight to defy...

Sunday, March 04, 2012
People I Want to Punch in the Face
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Jabiru Bottle Top Stemware
$20 - $95 from Kickstarter »

GIVEAWAY ALERT! We are giving away Kinkajou Bottle Cutters to 5 lucky Dude readers! And unlike going to the airport, entry is quick and hassle-free. Sign up by May 7, 2013 using the form below....

Saturday, May 04, 2013
DrunkQuest: The 90 Proof Seas
$20 - $55 from Kickstarter »

As follow-up to a highly successful Kickstarter campaign and production run, the drinking/magic card game DrunkQuest has launched its first expansion: The 90 Proof Seas. In case you missed our feature on the original game, here's a quick synopsis:...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Like Sitting on Air Stool
$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting on...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Laser Tag iPhone App
$49.99 from Amazon »

iPhone, iTouch, Android, all laser-tag-loving smartphone owners, get ready for the AppTag Laser Blaster! The app-and-apparatus duo that will turn your basement, your backyard, and your 3-mile stumble home from the bar at 3...

Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Handbook for the Recently Deceased
$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with...

Friday, September 07, 2012
Glass Machine Gun Pipes

If you're looking for a hitman, sorry, this collection of machine guns is made of glass. But if you're looking for a hit, man welcome to the bong-themed weapons trade. Or would it be the weapons-themed bong trade? Either way...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
You Suck At Parking Business Cards
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Folding Cooler
$42.22 - $79.95 from Amazon »

What would be really sweet is if this Kelty cooler could fold up all compact and non-space-consuming after I filled it with ice and Vess orange sodie and Bud Light Lime, but I guess I can't really expect outdoor brands to...

Thursday, March 29, 2012
The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions
Sold Out from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
Strong Like Bull Magnets

My friend DeAndre ran with the bulls in Pamplona once, and he assures me that the expression "strong like bull" is no, well, no bullshit. People get impaled and tossed and stampeded and DeAndre saw one guy take a horn to the...

Monday, April 15, 2013
CEO Desk Chaise
$2,580 from Design Collectors »

Vitra's MVS Chaise, named for its Belgian designer, Maarten Van Severen, applies ergonomic principles similar to those of the Zero Gravity Recliner, but adopts an even slimmer profile and sleeker, minimalist lines to double...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Life-Size Yoda in Carbonite
$195 from Etsy »

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

Monday, December 03, 2012
Fifty Shades of Bacon Cookbook
$10.52 from Amazon »

The definitive building block of food porn now has its own erotic cookbook. Fifty Shades of Bacon, about damn time. Right, ladies? 'Cause I know once you satiate your carnally voyeuristic instincts reading Fifty Shades of...

Friday, July 29, 2011
Self Sustaining Ecosphere
$57.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy them...

Friday, April 12, 2013
Domo Toaster
$27.74 from Amazon »

Domo started out as a Japanese television network mascot. Then he began starring in skits during station breaks. Then he got made into an English-language manga series for the US and Canada, and then he got made into a toaster....

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Color Changing Coasters
$74.99 from AllModernOutlet »

Philips' Lumiware LED coasters look like they would be good for BBQs, outdoor summer parties, mood-lit dinners, club atmospheres, and making Cornelius think I'm giving him the Blue Berry Blast Kool-Aid he asked for when really...

Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Elf Ear Cuffs
$55 - $105 from Etsy »

Ladies, if you're wondering what dudes will say when you enter the room wearing a pair of Alanya Divine's custom-made silver elf ear cuffs, the answer is, "Yes, please." You like them for their craftily shaped argentium silver...

Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Game of Thrones Sigil Cookie Cutters
$5.50 - $23 from Etsy »

Honey-spiced locusts from A Feast of Ice and Fire's Essos chapter may be a more authentic dessert to serve at your next Game of Thrones viewing party, but...ew. That sounds disgusting. Aren't locusts bugs? People from Essos...

Thursday, May 02, 2013
Military Grade Compass
$74.48 from Amazon »

What makes a compass military grade? WELL, WRITING THE AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION IN ALL CAPS SEEMS TO BE ONE ATTRIBUTE. Geez, I know America has the biggest and boldest and best of everything, but I don't think the self-proclaimed...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Best Wrong Test Answers Book
$8.96 from Amazon »

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....

Sunday, April 15, 2012
Fridge Skins
$70 from Kudu Magnets »

Dressing up kids and pets is so passé. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades...

Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Amiigo Fitness Tracker
$99 - $119 from indiegogo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
The Art of Fixing Things
$11.09 from Amazon »

The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able...

Friday, January 13, 2012
Zombie Wedding Cake Topper
$75 from Etsy »

Every groom-to-be gets cold feet at some point, and this zombie wedding cake topper brilliantly summarizes both the worst and best case scenarios that could play out when that happens. Worst Case Scenario: Your feet are so...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Glow-in-the-Dark Crowbar
$49.99 from Glowbar Inc. »

One thing that sucks about using a crowbar to beat someone up in a dark alley is the dark alley part. How are you supposed to tell if it's really connecting with the intended's face and other vital organs, or just delivering...

Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Morninghead: Man's 5-Second Hairstylist
$10 from Morninghead »

Sometimes, the last thing you want to wake up to is morning head. It's unruly, and it's hard to handle, yet it must be calmed before leaving the house, and especially before facing your ball buster of a boss, and his hot administrative...

Sunday, August 12, 2012
Portable Balls - Glowing Nightlight
$99.99 from Amazon »

Great balls of...not fire at all, actually. The Boon GLO nightlight's removable glowing balls have no electrical components at all, so they alight without even getting warm, and won't break if dropped or tossed around during...

Thursday, April 11, 2013
Trakdot Luggage Tracker
$49.99 from Trakdot »

Trakdot luggage finders enjoyed a grand reception at CES 2013, and the company is now gearing up for its initial propagation of Trakdots into the world on June 24, 2013. The palm-sized suitcase insert collaborates with an...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Self-Cleaning Aquarium
$99.99 from Amazon »

The one responsibility that comes with owning a Betta fish--aside from not showing it a mirror--is cleaning its bowl semi-regularly, lest the glass should get so grimy as to interfere with your mean-spirited attempts to show...

Saturday, April 06, 2013
Custom Wood Vespa

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Monday, November 26, 2012
HitchSafe Key Vault
$44.80 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
Micro Butterfly RC Plane

While being on the receiving end of a buzzing, pesky winged bug's attentions can prompt minor fits of rage, I feel like if I could control the insect, and make it evoke these sentiments and actions from those who are not me...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Little Mermaid Ariel Costume
$200 from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Fondue Mugs
$14.99 from Amazon »

Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and burnt...