Oh, how nice. A clock for people with no respect for others' time who like to turn their lack of responsibility and accountability into a big joke. Well, when I tell you to be at my place at 8 a.m. and you unapologetically roll up at more...
You-Vision Video Glasses don't do the I-spying for you, but they do allow you to film what your little eye sees. In HD. A tiny camera built into the bridge of the glasses records full motion video with the push of a button along the more...
I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling me she hates to be hot. I'm not sure if she wanted me to do something about it or was just taking the opportunity to vent to an anonymous person from the Internet who brings her more...
A swig here, a puff there, a puff here, a Chug! Chug! Chug! there. And none of those big globe or skull ice cubes to get in your way of downing the whiskey when it's flowing freely from this 2-in-1 flask and cigar holder either. No more...
It's not that quesadillas are hard to make on the stovetop or in the oven, it's that one typically craves a quesadilla when one is not fit to operate the stovetop or the oven. With minimal risk of administering second degree burns or more...
Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space whose hydraulics lift and lower it via remote control in less than 30 seconds? A Cardok platform that is virtually undetectable when below grade, yet houses within its steel frame more...
I prefer to use my coffee table to play old school Nintendo, but I understand there are some out there even older school than I am who are more down with using theirs to play foosball. By the way, to those under the age of 25, foosball more...
Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting on air? I don't more...
He is the first Avenger. An unparalleled patriot whose loyalty, stealth, and shredded abs have kept America safe from the likes of Doctor Faustus, Viper, and HYDRA since 1941. And now, motorcycle-riding superhero devotees, he's singled more...
Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose Manuel Carvajal more...
Today I will perform for the millions clicking on my YouTube shower curtain a rendition of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" as I lather my hair, followed by a standup routine about how I don't eat bivalves or things that taste like where more...
I don't really need a V-shaped toaster and accompanying knife to facilitate PB&J assembly and consumption--my mama makes mine. Crunchy Peter Pan, seedless strawberry jam, two slices of pumpernickel (shut up, it's delicious), crusts more...
While I would prefer to have a dragon that breathes fire and prepares to reclaim Westeros for the rightful Queen, Daenerys Targaryen, I guess one that diverts water is an OK second. This gothic, gargoyle-inspired dragon downspout statue more...
Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy of the life-size more...
Like SEXCEREAL, NutShot Peanut Butter capitalizes on branding, as it is nothing more than a jar full of pulverized peanuts manufactured in both chunk and chunk-free form. And while that itself is one of NutShot creator Marcus O'Donovan's more...
I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also, I have immense more...
I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler. And regardless more...
Whenever someone compliments a girl's article of clothing, as in, "That's a nice dress," my friend Kristen always pipes up, "Is it the dress or the girl in the dress?" Touche, Kristen. Typically it is the girl in the dress. Typically more...
It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the white mass of strep more...
Don't be too disappointed that Lip Chaser shot follow-ups contain no alcohol. Your shot will still have plenty of it, and Lip Chasers replace the booze with something much, much better: making out. An edible coating applied to the kisser, more...
Better make sure you've got both of Rinzler's identity disks before heading into battle with the wife for permission to drop $1,300 on this form-molded set of leather badassery. UD Replicas made 750 TRON full body motorcycle suits, more...
Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large group participation, more...
iStash. Quite the restrictive--albeit clever and sort of fun to say--name for an iPhone imposter that's really just a slick combination of a pseudo-phone and a wallet. I mean, sure, it will covertly house cigs, lighters, and herbal more...
Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your ganja high grow? With eighths and screens and heat-activated steam, I've got a VaporBLUNT in tow! A VaporBLUNT is a portable vaporizer with a ceramic, battery-powered heating element, and stainless more...
Amazing restaurant / hotel suite under the crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean off the coast of the Maldives. Is there a cooler hotel room in the world? No. The answer is no. more...
My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't be cold. In more...
This idea of hanging strips of pork candy on the Makin' Bacon microwave rack seems preferable to my grandma's method of pounding cooked pieces between an entire roll of paper towels. No speck of grease goes unabsorbed! She did the same more...
As with those in cars, presuming Airbag Jackets' inflatable impact absorbers don't spontaneously detonate while a biker is cooly cruising the local strip checkin' out who is the what is the what some fine evening, the personal safety more...