X-Mode Energy Shots on Tap

$29.99 from Amazon »

Uh oh. As if kegs of beer and boxes of wine aren't dangerous enough in my hands. I don't want children, but I have a feeling if I spent an hour in a room with X-Mode and its 100 ounces of energy shots on tap I'd walk...

Solar Window Charger

$23.99 from Amazon »

This solar powered window charger reminds me of the Winbot window-washing robot, except that it doesn't move around your windows and clean them, it just sits there soaking up the sun and converting its mighty power to...

Walther PPK Rubber Band Gun

$22.99 from Etsy »

The name's Band. James Band....

Haunt Furniture Luxe Bed

$2,400 - $3k from Haunt Furniture »

They call me Dracoola for my mystical aura, my brooding allure, and my fine taste in modern gothic furniture. Would you like a tour of my faux leather Luxe king bed in matte black finish, ma'am?...

Celtic Elite Bowie Knife

$16.99 from Amazon »

Festive or hideous? This Celtic Elite Bowie Knife from Ridge Runner is maybe a little bit of both. But come on, what better to pair with your kilt and Guinness this St. Paddy's Day than a thick stainless steel blade with...

International All-in-One Travel Plug Adapter

$11.99 from Amazon »

Granted, I haven't been out of the country in a while on account of...some stuff...but the last time I had to schlep along device adapters I think they were about the size of my head and weighed approximately 27 pounds....

YERKA Unstealable Bike

$399 from indiegogo »

You may have seen the YERKA and its integrated, supposedly theft-proof locking system floating around the Internet before, but today the Chilean bicycle designers have officially launched their crowdfunding campaign in...

Igloo Dome Sensory Deprivation Pillow

Shield yourself from all light and sound while you sleep without strapping things over your eyes, jamming them in your ears, or looking like an ostrich. The Igloo Dome Pillow is a cushioned sleeping tent for the head...

Zelda Engagement Chest & Rupee Ring Box

$220 from Etsy »

Will you be mine in holy nerd matrimony? In sickness (in which case I will give you some Red, Blue, or Green Potion) and in health (in which case I will guard your health bar with my Master Sword), in good Hyrulian times...

The Beer Peen Hammer

Now you can use your peen to open your beer. I mean, if you couldn't already. Good Beer Hunting has smithed its Beer Peen Hammer in the likeness of an antique ball peen hammer they picked up at an estate sale. Each of...

Bayit Smart Wi-Fi Socket

The Bayit Socket takes your fans, your heaters, you lamps, TVs, coffee machines, even washers and dryers and converts them from simple handy appliances to an army of minions at your beck and call. Bayit is a smart socket...

Olight Mini Intimidator Flashlight

$149.95 from Amazon »

From 200 to 600, from 600 to 1200, and from 1200 to 2800 lumens over the 4 modes of Olight's SR Mini Intimidator compact flashlight. At just 5" long and 10 ounces in (empty) weight, this variable output shiner blares...

Seaboard Squishy Silicone Keyboard

$3,500 from Moma Store »

I thought maybe because there aren't really any distinct keys on the Seaboard I wouldn't really need any distinct talent to play it, but in watching the video of...is that Kenny G?...jamming out on his, I'm reconsidering...

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Vintage Copper Fire Pit Set

Giveaway: Vintage Copper Fire Pit Set

We're at that midpoint between frikkin' sick of winter and summer's more than a stone's throw away. But click here and enter to win this vintage copper fire pit, plus a set of cooking tools, and you'll be able to stay...

Vibration Plate Jiggle Fitness Machine

$500 from Amazon »

If you've ever watched TV at 3 in the morning you've probably seen the Power Plus Vibration Plate, or something like it, before. I've seen the machine making people's jiggly parts jiggle many times myself. But what I...

Couples' Infrared Sauna

$1,050 from Amazon »

I guess it's not technically a sauna for couples, but it is a sauna for 2 people and there's no way in hell I'm sharing such a small, sweaty (but slightly less sweaty than a regular sauna since infrared saunas are absorbed...

Bushnell BackTrack Personal GPS Tracker

$52.91 from Amazon »

Not that I ever get lost, but...oh, put a sock in it, Mama, I wouldn't get lost even if I ever went somewhere either!...were I a directionally and locationally challenged person, I might like to have Bushnell's little...

Mr. Spock & Captain Kirk Salt & Pepper Shakers

$14.40 from Amazon »

After 83 years with us the pure legend who was Mr. Spock is gone. I'm sure we all share the hope that, wherever he and his alter ego, Leonard Nimoy, have gone, they live long and prosper....

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Battery Organizer with Removable Tester

$12.90 from Amazon »

TV remotes, console controllers, and flashlights, oh...crap. I thought I had 4 more AA batteries somewhere in here. Amidst the cords and paper clips and eyeglass repair kits and, oh hey, here's my Mr. Spock action figure...

Healthful Home 5-Minute Mold Test Kit

$44.99 from Amazon »

Everyone talks about mold causing allergies and lung problems and, like, mental illness, but I just think it's gross. If I want fungus growing alongside my bed or watching TV with me, I'll get a Mushroom Log and at least...

MakersKit Cocktail Bar Set

$29.99 from MakersKit »

Shake it, stir it, strain it, pour it. And bring on Pussy Galore to taste it. Here MakersKit, known for their DIY sets of everything from terrariums to gourmet marshmallows, has a Classic Cocktail bundle for your home...

The Quarter Century 25-Year-Guarantee Pants

$85 from Kickstarter »

Quarter Century pants are just like every other pair of pants you own, except you'll still be wearing Quarter Centuries long after every other pair of pants you own has been relegated to: weekends only; the back of the...

The Butter Mill

$19.95 from Amazon »

Stop the bread massacre! Instead of putting holes in your toast and sandwiches, save your sourdough's texture and integrity by putting the holes in your butter dispenser instead. With its top surface covered in tiny...

What's On Your Mind Pillows

$44.62 - $170.52 from Etsy »

Eat more bacon. Have more sex. How did Lynn from Sew English get ahold of my to-do list? More importantly, why'd she have to go applique it on some pillows? I mean, my mama's gonna see those every day when she makes my...

Magnetic - Statically Charged Sticky Notes

$7 - $67 from Tesla Amazing »

OK, Magnetic, you win. The coolest new product I've seen all year. Created by appropriately titled Tesla Amazing, Magnetic is a line of notes, pads, boards, and sheets that act like sticky notes without the gummy, lint-collecting...

Dragon Chess Set

$151.79 from Amazon »

Welp, judging by the bones fossilized in the platform uplifting this chess set's glass board, the biggest dragons have already been slain. Now all I gotta conquer are the baby fire breathers, and in all likelihood their...

Elasto-Lok Tactical Gear Clip

$7.42 from Amazon »

Compatible with MOLLE bags (and probably, like, Jansport backpacks too), the Elasto-Lok from Duraflex is a multipurpose fastener that will secure anything from flashlights during camping trips to machetes during military...

Code Black Drone

The Code Black Drone is a limited edition in matte black that prides itself on stability during flight and being a skilled aerial acrobat. A Batmodrone, if you will. I will....

X15 Flamethrower

$1,599 from Throwflame.com »

People typically use flamethrowers to clear brush. And just like that, for the first time in my life I cannot think of anything I'd rather do today than go clear me some brush. Better than a firehose and almost as badass...

Fight Club 2 Comic Series

It's all part of The Game. Wait, no, that's not it. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was... Nope, not that one either (but check out the latest homage to Keyser Soze here). The first rule of Fight Club is...yeah...

PowerPot Camping Cooker & Charger

Back to the Future II didn't manage to predict this bizarre technological feat of the 2010s: cooking and charging your phone with the same device. (Not to mention chilling, blending, and charging your phone with the same...

Animal Paper Clips

$7.09 - $16.04 from Amazon »

Midori makes over two dozen different animals ready to hold the wayward strands of your life together. At least the parts of it that are on paper. The company's animal D-Clips are the most precious paper clips I've ever...

Pavlok - Habit-Breaking Shocking Wristband

$199 from Amazon »

If it's good enough for training the dog, it's good enough for training you. Pavlok thinks so anyway. And most people who were spanked as kids or repeatedly got hit in the face playing dodgeball would probably agree that...

KeyBiner Carabiner Multi-Tool

$35 - $70 from Fortius Arms »

The KeyBiner calls itself a more refined version of the carabiner, but you might recognize it as a more souped up version of the KeySmart. Both remove some of the bulk and all of the jangle of schlepping around a fat...

BioSport Earbuds with Built-in Heart Monitor

$119.96 from Amazon »

SMS Audio has your back heart. Their BioSport earbuds don't just pump out the vocals, bass, and mid-tones to keep you moving, they also measure your heart rate and track your intensity to keep you moving...harder. Faster!...

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Tactile Turn Metal Pen Set

Giveaway: Tactile Turn Metal Pen Set

So what if I still scrawl like a 5-year-old, and am so unaccustomed to hand writing stuff anymore that my hand cramps after 3 minutes of holding a pen? I still love them. And steal them from every hotel, restaurant, and...

The Chateau de Vigny

$5.7 million from Immo Best International »

You know, I've been thinking it's getting to be about time I move out of my mama's house....

Flaviar Top-Shelf Liquor Tasting Packs

$39.99 from Flaviar »

Is this what Grandma meant when she asked for a nip of whiskey? And then asked again four more times? Flaviar is a private, members-only tasting club that provides its subscribers with regular tasting packs of small-batch...

Military Grade Rubber Bands

$11.49 from Amazon »

Calling them rubber bands on steroids would be figuratively accurate (and obviously sounds cool), but what Ranger Bands really are are big ol' cut hunks of bicycle tubes*. Thick and strong like my...hands...these military...

Archtek Toothpaste Tablets

$7.15 from Amazon »

Do you know how often I go to bed without brushing my teeth because I have fallen asleep on the couch, or stumbled home drunk, or am just flat out too lazy to go brush my teeth? Probably at least as often as I do gather...

Supersized ilumi Smartbulb

$89 from ilumi »

For those out there seeking Magnum-sized mood lighting to go with your Magnum-sized...heart and desire to sweetly romance your lady friend with no expectations or monkey business whatsoever, ilumi has fed its A21 Smartbulb...

OGIO Ascent Backpack

$99.99 from OGIO »

I think I could collect backpacks like some people collect Rolexes or Lambos. Because I love all of their zippers and pockets and organization of life compartments. And because I'm not some sort of flashy high roller....

TARDIS Wedding Ring

$1,100 - $3k from Etsy »

Doctor Who's magical, time-traveling police box is pervasive enough in pop culture to have inspired not just one, but two thousand-dollar-plus unique and artisan-crafted diamond rings. Probably more, really, but this...

Faze Bantam Drone

$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Oh boy, another drone to add to what is turning into quite the drone collection around here. This one, the Faze, is a tiny little guy weighing in at just 12.2 grams. But the doesn't mean he doesn't show up fully stocked...

Periodic Tableware

$18 - $85 from PT Ware »

Periodic Tableware is one reason why people invent new words. Like "mud-licious" and "puddle-wonderful" and, most appropriate to this case, "geektastic." This collection of scientific glassware transformed into vessels...

The Scrubba Wash Bag

$49.95 from Amazon »

When I see the word "Scrubba" all I can think of is my Uncle Orville. Gettin' all hot and ornery with my cousin Stoobie when we were kids and he refused to take a bath. "You grimy ground crawler," he'd yell, "if you don't...

Glitch Playing Cards

$15 from Amazon »

Glitch: "An electrical pulse of short duration that is usually the result of a fault or design error, particularly in a digital circuit." That's a pretty good way to put it. Thank you, Wikipedia (yes, I donate regularly.)...

Pointie Tactical Marker

$20 - $25 from indiegogo »

The Pointie. A "tactical marker" in name, but we both know what that's a euphemism for: stabbing things. Like glass during rescues. Warthogs during attacks. And whiteboards. Insolent, misbehavin' whiteboards....