A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Monday, January 30, 2012
$3,475 from Fresh Polos »

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country club...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$24.94 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would like everyone to believe they are awesome. But when Splinter Works, creators of this carbon fiber hammock bathtub named Vessel, terms themselves designers of "sculptural furniture...

Thursday, June 26, 2014
$35 - $70 from Snipe Darts »

Liran Erez decided to fire back at what he deems the lame-ifying of shooter games with the advent of touchscreen apps. His SNIPE Dart Blaster and free SNIPE apps...no, the darts aren't going to F up your screen...introduce...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

While I do not believe in buying other people gifts in honor of holidays for which they do not also have to buy me a gift, Father's Day is on the horizon, and this Tactical BBQ Apron could perhaps serve the dual purpose of...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$9.95 from Shittens »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for retirement. Shit is gross. That's why it's the star of biting zingers such as "Shithead," "Shit for brains," "Eat shit and die," and "Who the F anonymously sent me this pile...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
$9.97 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics...

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$59.95 from Biopop »

Oh boy, it's like a dinosaur mixed with a firefly mixed with that neat-o photosynthesis word I learned in middle school. Dino Pet, a compilation of living, bioluminescent organisms called dinoflagellates housed in an apatosaurus-shaped...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$10.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking down...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

Sensory overload phenomenon demonstrated by a creepy bearded man and a sweet voiced English woman. I can't imagine watching this while high. I feel like it would turn into a scene from Tommy Boy....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$2,249 - $4,259 from Etsy »

Holy Daenerys Mother of Dragons. If I ever propose marriage, or more likely if I ever need to bribe a girl, a ring whose gem is mounted on fire-breathing beasts of fantasy is definitely the one I'm using to do it. ArtMasters...

Saturday, April 12, 2014
$65 from Amazon »

So...I guess Slothzilla sounded better than King Sloth or Sloth Kong? Or maybe it's creators were just taking a page out of sloth the animal's own book and being lazy about fact checking their re-imaginations of iconic cinematic...

Wednesday, May 21, 2014
$139.85 from Amazon »

I love adjustable-height rattan tables that extend to reveal a 12-1/2 gallon cooler full of icy microbrews and Fireball. They look classy and consolidate some of the gear I'll need for the Summer 2014 Backyard Lie-Around-and-Do-Nothing-Off...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$199 from NinjaBlocks »

The only thing I know about Hackers is that Angelina Jolie makes a hot one, but according to Ninja Blocks, that's enough to qualify me for the job. Of a hacker, not Angelina Jolie. Though I could probably pull off the latter...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$16 from Amazon »

The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual extols both the wild and nuanced interactions of married life, and categorizes them--with illustrations--into the next echelon of the ancient Indian guide to mind-blowing...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$110 from Amazon »

So I finally found my cure for smoker's cough. According to the blonde lady in the Pulmonica video, this pulmonary harmonica is the first of its kind, designed to help improve breathing in people of all ages and musical ability....

Thursday, January 5, 2012
$4,500 from Opulent Items »

Moving goldfish out of the living room and into the bathroom for a perfect view of what will surely be their place of final burial, down the toilet, seems like an illogical move. That is, until you see this awesome fish aquarium...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
By: blocks

Like Phonebloks (i.e., Google's Project Ara), the forthcoming BLOCKS smartwatch will encompass an array of detachable modules. Wearers will be able to snap together hardware, sensor, app, and "dummy" (for sizing) BLOCKS to...

Monday, July 30, 2012
$2,165.09 from Firebox.com »

When I look at Podtime's new collapsible Sleeping Pod, an extra cozy 3.9' wide x 6.9' long personal retreat and slumbering space for college students, or anyone else on a crusade to find efficient luxury, exactly two words...

Tuesday, June 3, 2014
$58.59 from Firebox.com »

Dinner of Doom is served. And even if you can't procure authentic chilled monkey brains to fill this bowl, I'm sure the effect of serving a culinary horror can still be achieved with the addition of more readily available...

Friday, October 18, 2013
Giveaway: Rattlerstrap Venom - Paracord Belt 88
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

It's a Dude first. Rattlerstrap has designed the Venom, a limited edition paracord belt, just for our reader giveaway. Which means the winner will be the first--and one of the only--marines, bush pilots, hunting guides, photographers...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$580 from UD Replicas »

If you prefer to be the villain, hold a special place in your heart for Bane and his anesthetic tarantula-mouth mask, or just don't feel ballsy enough to wear the molded leather chest plate, gauntlets, and butt huggers fashioned...

Friday, June 13, 2014
$28.25 from RoofScope »

I don't really need a RoofScope gear mirror since I don't do outdoor activities, but here's why I strongly recommend one for those who do. My dentist's office is in this ghetto, horseshoe-shaped building whose back end is...

Saturday, November 10, 2012
$2,990 from Pjadad »

The Cocoon 1 is for that sort of selfish kind of privacy people seek. The kind that means no one can bother or make any demands of them, but they can still watch and hear and pass judgment on what's going on with everyone...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get a flashlight...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$69.99 from Amazon »

I like inducing things alright. Normally it's the ire of others and a wicked hangover with fine Hornitos tequila. But now I can also induce the proverbial flames of fire with Duxtop's induction cooktop. And, even better, in...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug attachment--so...

Saturday, July 21, 2012
Discontinued

FLASHr debuts on Kickstarter as New Orleans boys Trey DeArk and Terence Green's slick reappropriation of the iPhone's built-in LED camera flash and iOS' "LED Flash Alerts". A 3-part, multi-colored case, FLASHr intertwines...

Saturday, February 9, 2013
$29 from Wallet TrackR »

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected via...

Saturday, April 7, 2012
$189 from Wish.co.uk »

As if $80 Jessica Simpson shoes, $14,000 Victoria Beckham handbags, and $50 Adam Levine perfume weren't scary enough, now the mall, just like the bowling alley, has been overtaken by zombies. Your mission: kill them. Kill...

Sunday, November 17, 2013
$239.04 from Amazon »

The Junior Devastator is an 80-shot rubber band gatling gun that "sprays rubber bands like a hose sprays water." Two points on that. 1) I wonder what Daddy Devastator looks like. 2) The JD is the third, and probably the most...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
By: Fixed

Those of you who follow the detailed accounts I provide of my illustrious life now know that I have racked up many hundreds of dollars in unpaid parking tickets. So many hundreds that you could technically upgrade the term...

Saturday, February 4, 2012
$5.75 from Amazon »

Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar, Brutus'...

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$15k from indiegogo »

Remember the Cocoon 1, a means for people to leave the bubble of their computer screens and living rooms, and enter a bubble plopped down in the middle of a park or the general admission area of the next Slipknot show? Now...

Monday, August 12, 2013
Sold Out from Citizen Brick »

Would LEGO ever produce and release a Breaking Bad Meth Lab? Probably not even if its CEO and Board of Directors were all required to inadvertently step on an errant brick once an hour, every hour of the day, every day for...

Thursday, December 5, 2013

I would call Belcampo's Bacons of the World quarterly sampler pork crack, but in this case, I think it would allude to an entirely different--yet still likely very tasty--part of the pig, rather than the addictive, euphoria-inducing...

Sunday, May 4, 2014
$53.53 from Amazon »

Good Star Wars Day to you. May the 4th bring you good cheer, good beer, and good rear. And most of all, May the 4th be with you!...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$13.83 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages....

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$59.95 from Hibermate »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe we can...

Sunday, October 7, 2012
$33 from Moving Color »

I thought the Heat Sensitive Table was the pinnacle of cool in the realm of thermochromatic commmodities, but this Heat Sensitive Tile has just upped the ante. Inspired by the stunning lights of Alaska, Moving Color's Northern...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$159.95 from Amazon »

Sweet, a onesie for temperatures even colder than my parents keep their house. Selk'bag's wearable sleeping bags cater to all outdoor enthusiasts looking to stay warm without the constriction of a traditional rectangular or...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$115 - $125 from JumpStartCity »

The only not titanium components in Brian Fellhoelter's TiBolt bolt action pen are the the ink cartridge, spring, O-ring, and stylus nib. It's kind of like how the only not titanium components in my rock hard body are my blood...

Sunday, January 20, 2013
$79.99 - $119.99 from Amazon »

When I feel a tinge of pain during my engagement in taxing pursuits of physical prowess, such as owning the squash court and attending Zumba classes, I calmly remove myself from the action--no matter how many feisty Latinas...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$29.97 from Amazon »

Why cook up homemade biscuits & gravy in your underwear in the kitchen this weekend when you can use Coleman's Camp Oven to make them buck naked in the great outdoors? Set atop a 2- or 3-burner camping stove, the aluminized...

Friday, October 4, 2013
$59.95 from XYZbot »

In the grand spirit of rubber band guns--and according to Rubber Band Machine Gun creator XYZbot, there is indeed a grand spirit and subculture of rubber band guns in Japan--we present your favorite organization, binding...

Thursday, May 1, 2014
$47.65 from Amazon »

I like how even though it's mostly just silverware, Buck's Travel Mate looks like the deciding factor between a spy's successful completion of his mission and colossal failure resulting in death. Or maybe, like, what Batman...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
$22.02 from Amazon »

If you just want people to keep the F out, get an Add-a-Lock. But if you want them to believe for a split second that they have successfully encroached your space, only to disrupt the blaze of an invisble light that in turn...

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$34 from Amazon »

I feel like Bas Rutten made a similar, but much sexier-looking version (uh, relatively speaking) of this Breathslim weight loss contraption. His O2 trainer gets a lot of impassioned feedback here, both from advocates and BS-callers...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$50 from Amazon »

Turn discomfort into practicality. You might be stifled in a pressed button-up all day long, but at least with Titan's Multi-Tool Collar Stays you'll be able to pop open a beer at the end of it with the stealth and swagger...

Saturday, April 26, 2014
$49.95 from OKO »

OKO, pronounced "ooko", means "eco" in Swiss German. The company's line of water bottles with built-in filtration systems incorporate a customized blend of food-safe, BPA-free plastics and water purification technology originally...

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$31.50 - $79.50 from Absinthes.com »

Sometimes it's fun to play mad scientist. Particularly when doing so involves hallucinogens. OK, so they removed the thujone component from absinthe, but still, 80% of any experience is perception, right? So if I think I'm...

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Believe it or not, the blue and green in this image are actually the same color. Seriously. No, I'm not joking. I was calling my eyes liars too, but it's true. If you save the image and open it in Photoshop, you'll clearly...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$429 from Virtuix »

Full-body immersion into the world of virtual reality gaming, with a side of actual reality exercise. The Omni isn't the first VR treadmill we've seen (check out the WizDish) but it appears to be the most sophisticated, nicest...

Saturday, August 11, 2012
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for eating...

Monday, May 20, 2013
$165 from Kinekt »

Kinekt's Gear Ring reminds me of that ditty "The Wheels on the Bus" except, unlike the song, the ring has a fully integrated design of micro-precision, stainless steel gears instead of rubber tires that go round and round...

Monday, September 23, 2013
$10.83 from Amazon »

So they're selling air. And not even the far-out air that's been solidified into Aerogel, or the air sucked up by Mega Maid and officially licensed by Spaceball One, just plain old gaseous oxygen. In a can. Oh it's a fancy...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$63.98 from Amazon »

Shine and its 24K Gold rolling papers add a new action to the ever-growing list of Things You Can Do with Gold. Currently populated by: 1) Eat it; 2) Shit it; and 3) Buy expensive things with it, stoners and recreational tokers...

Sunday, April 6, 2014
$18,995 from Erik Buell Racing »

And I thought cheese curds and Heather Graham were the best things ever to come out of Wisconsin. From the humble city limits of East Troy, Erik Buell is releasing his first big production motorcycle under the Erik Buell Racing...

Monday, May 5, 2014
$49.95 from Amazon »

Yes, the Litter Kwitter is a real thing. Vendor Firebox, known for their elaborate April Fool's pranks, repeatedly assures us that this seeming 20-pound chocolate Lionel Richie head of cat supplies is not a joke. So now that...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$11.42 from Amazon »

Just when you thought you could enjoy a glass of beer without having your face bitten off by a shark. First the aggressive sea dwellers infiltrated our coffee mugs, and now it's our cold beverage containers. I hear they're...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$65.56 from Amazon »

One thing I do not particularly enjoy is sharing food. Tapas and family-style dining, blech. I want my own plates. Further, I want to clean them quickly and then leer at someone who's still got half of their dishes left until...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

In case there was any confusion, Poundtown Condom vendor Say It with a Condom specifies this particular latex shroud is for "anyone who's a Poundtown regular, or is coming for the first time." Haha, get it? There are, like...

Monday, May 19, 2014
$42.34 - $49.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing promotes the merger of exercise and beer drinking like summertime. Hydro Flask, makers of traditional BPA-free insulated water bottles, also have a 64-ounce insulated beer growler in their collection....

Saturday, July 28, 2012
$179.95 from WickedLasers.com »

It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the white...

Sunday, May 4, 2014
$119k from Sky Runner »

If I had $119,000 to drop on a vehicle, I'd probably still pick a Tesla, but like the SCOUT carbon paramotor, I do appreciate the Parajet SkyRunner's ingenuity. Part ATV, part light-sport aircraft, all the fun of dangerous...

OMG
Saturday, August 27, 2011
By: Hilton

Amazing restaurant / hotel suite under the crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean off the coast of the Maldives. Is there a cooler hotel room in the world? No. The answer is no....

Saturday, April 5, 2014
$29.99 from Perpetual Kid »

As Jerry taught us nearly 20 years ago, ain't nothing like a lady with feminine wiles from the neck up and Goliath-sized monstrosities from the wrist down to kill all desire we have to get her into bed. One look at ol' Man...