A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, June 13, 2014
$19.95 from Amazon »

The Gymboss is the best timer I ever had. Even when I hate it and swear it is cheating me as it beeps my 10-second rest is up, and also am pretty sure that it is malfunctioning when it's not beeping that 60 seconds of burpees...

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Friday, May 3, 2013
$590 - $2,300 from loopwheels »

People out there lucky in the sense that they know how to ride a bike but unlucky in the sense that doing so jars their spines and brains and generates great discomfort in the crotchal region, say hello to Loopwheels. Loopwheels are 20" bicycle wheels with built-in spring systems between their hubs and wheel rims that provide suspension and cushioning from road bumps and potholes. So that everyone...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
$2,250 from PowerDive »

Many of us dig communing with corals and fishes and hot merpeople lookin' for a good time 40 feet beneath the ocean's surface, but suited up SCUBA-style in bulky BC vests and heavy oxygen tanks sort of encumbers the experience....

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
$100 - $500 from Stikwood »

Stikwood happens when real wood from the likes of oak and maple trees meets, say, duct tape with an infallible 10-year adhesive lifespan. As 1/8" thick panels with peel & stick strip backings, Stikwood installations fit against a multitude of interior surfaces to turn lackluster walls, kitchen islands, or even coffee table surfaces into stylish, yet cozy, and universally un-girly pieces of home...

Thursday, February 20, 2014
$7.55 from Amazon »

I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking...

Bar
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$12.99 from Uncommon Goods »

Ahhh, the marriage of bottle opener and beer glass. We have reached the pinnacle of efficiency and consolidation. Nothing left to do now but go home. And pop the top off a cold one....

Wednesday, March 21, 2012
$1,790 from Monovelo »

Monowheels debuted in the late 19th century, but Monovelos claim to be the inaugural human-powered installation of the 21st. A nested unicycle of sorts, the Monovelo pedals and steers similar to a conventional bike, but instead...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$28.85 from Amazon »

Carry the SOL Origin Survival Kit, and the next time you're up shit creek it will supply all the tools you need to build a paddle. Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the survival kit is housed in an indestructible...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Ornery watermelons, prepare to meet your fate. Tactical tinkerer, and Laser Glove creator, Patrick Priebe's Blade Driver crossbow launches whirling buzz saws at all deserving targets, but especially those that are mealy, not...

Monday, October 8, 2012
$159.99 from Amazon »

This portable fireplace will slide right in anywhere you need heat, ambience, romance, or S'mores. At 11" high x 14" wide x 5" deep, 8-1/2 pounds, and capable of heating areas of up to 375 square feet it's an easy and relatively...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$580 from NLO Moto »

NLO Moto, recently of Predator 2 and Dredator 3 motorcycle helmet fame, has popped out a third mythical beast to add to its alien headwear menagerie. While the Orc Dragon deviates from using a Schwarzenegger nemesis as its...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012
$39.99 from Amazon »

I must have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow because Jack. Pot. My days of spending 15 minutes crouched over my cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy* brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as Peyton...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
$7,950 from Animi Causa »

Though I am not a tennis fan, given that the opening line of Animi Causa's product copy for their balls lounger is, "The Feel Deluxe is made of 120 soft and extremely pleasant balls," I am very happy that it's the tennis kind...

Friday, November 4, 2011
$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term threat...

Saturday, April 5, 2014
$129.95 from Amazon »

Though not yet skilled enough to earn itself Ninja status, the Turtle Shell Bluetooth speaker does amount to more than your average armored reptile. Shockproof, dust-proof, and water-resistant even through a heavy rain, the...

Friday, October 5, 2012
$14,900 from Hot Tug »

Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and a stainless...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Nice. A condom to carry my message to all the unborn children in the world. Attention would-be zygotes! I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER!...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$16.98 from Amazon »

Hmmm, ShutterBall looks like gadget fit for the MUA. But I guess that's not surprising given that people seem to enjoy taking selfies as much as they enjoy using sex toys these days. This bulbous piece of Bluetooth tech serves...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$9.25 from Klecker Knives »

Klecker Knives gets the kids wielding folding lock-backs young. Their Trigger knife kit, edition glow-in-the dark, aspires to teach children ages 7 and up how to build their own pocket blade model. Now at first I wondered...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time I stepped outside my back door and it was -8 degrees and the snot froze in my nostrils. That time was yesterday. But during these frigid winter months, instead of jacking up my home's central heating system, or wearing...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

When I transform into a paper-product-based Optimus Prime, I like to take on a more active role in the process than lifting my giant cardboard robot arms out of a giant cardboard box. So thanks be to Chuck Norris that Etsy's...

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...

Monday, September 12, 2011
By: Youtube

This 2 minute video clip is the equal of any movie I've seen this year. Suspense, intrigue, a classic soundtrack. I won't ruin the ending for you... but the good guy wins. This is the gutsiest damn frog I've ever known (apologies...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011
$25 from The Cheeky »

Great way to draw attention to yourself in airports. Not only from other travelers, but the TSA, and law enforcement as well. If you love people staring at you, or just love attention in general, then these are perfect!...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like...

Friday, February 14, 2014
$15 from SUCK UK »

BottleLights are USB-rechargeable LED bulbs that make glass bottles glow all moody and sensual. Basically they achieve the same It's time for sexy time effect as candles without the associated fire risks. Designed by Steve...

Friday, December 23, 2011
$89.95 from Zombie Industries »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably at some...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$595 - $3,890 from Etsy »

A USS Enterprise engagement ring is what happens when true love collides with the reluctant decision to propose to some chick. As a male with a basic appreciation for the Star Trek TV series and movies, plus a deep respect...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of Zelda-inspired...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$9.95 from MTMi »

iStash. Quite the restrictive--albeit clever and sort of fun to say--name for an iPhone imposter that's really just a slick combination of a pseudo-phone and a wallet. I mean, sure, it will covertly house cigs, lighters, and...

Friday, May 16, 2014
$33.99 from Amazon »

Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in a plain...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$5 - $95 from Fiverr »

For as little as $5, Uruguayan artist Eliana Fernandez will send you a glimpse of yourself inside some of TV's most popular animated series. Kick off the return of The Simpsons and Family Guy, or bid farewell to Futurama with...

Friday, May 2, 2014
$25.95 from Amazon »

Brew a double espresso or 10-ounce cup of coffee right into your favorite mug in around 60 seconds with the AeroPress. A simple tool, a space-saving alternative to a full-size coffee maker, and supposedly at the head of "one...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all over...

Sunday, April 15, 2012
$70 from Kudu Magnets »

Dressing up kids and pets is so passe. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
By: Neurowear

According to Forbes magazine, 2014 is bringing back tight-rolled jeans headgear. Thankfully, most of it won't connect to braces or interfere with beer consumption like Joan Cusack's in Sixteen Candles, but much will look just...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$319.98 from Amazon »

Wood pellets look like the food I used to feed my guinea pig. I loved that guinea pig. And if irregularly-sized tubular shards of organic material was good enough for him, it's good enough for me. There are a few grills on...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$34.99 from Etsy »

I don't know if I'd be more turned on by or afraid of a girl wearing lock pick earrings. I mean, if she knows how to use them, that's hot. But if she knows how to use them...uh...I mean I have like $1,200 in unpaid parking...

Saturday, February 15, 2014
$21.79 from Firebox.com »

Dead or alive, you're coming with me. Robocop might drag you kicking and screaming out of bed in the morning like a big douchebag, but Robocup plays the good cop. He combats your fatigue and eases you into the harsh day ahead...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$316.68 - $641.48 from Le Beanock »

I wholeheartedly support Le Beanock, and any installation whose defining attributes are comfort, relaxation, the eschewal of productivity, and swinging to and fro in a way reminiscent of my infancy, when I snoozed in my mama's...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
Discontinued

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing...

Sunday, August 26, 2012
$7,146 from Firebox.com »

Being a villain isn't cheap. So, like most actors, rock stars, and former Presidents, villains raise funds for the administration of havoc and execution of attempts to rule the world by selling out. The Villain Chair, available...

Friday, May 30, 2014
$18.26 from Amazon »

Steak Saws? Now that's a little cynical, don't you think? Just because you've had to get the entirety of your body weight behind carving bites off of every steak your wife/girlfriend/mama has served to this point in life doesn't...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$12 from SMBC »

My Darwin fish eats your Jesus fish damns the pot-smoking jam band Phish fish. Orrr...my TRUTH ichthys consumes your Darwin decal. Presumably with love. And with Star Trek and Cthulhu fish as spectators. The Flying Spaghetti...

Saturday, June 7, 2014
$14.31 from Amazon »

Summer is here, the kids are out of school and home all day long.... Time to occupy them with DIY projects and sugar! Magic Choc's Chocolate Modeling Kit includes wads of pliable 100% Belgian white, milk, and dark chocolate...

Sunday, October 20, 2013

What stands between you and the driver's seat of a precise, officially-licensed roadworthy replica of the 1966 Batmobile? One year and a few zeros, my friend. The most iconic of all the Dark Knight's transportation iterations...

Sunday, April 6, 2014
$44.01 from Amazon »

The 3-1/2-minute video tutorial of A Game of Thrones: The Board Game jasonobi uploaded to YouTube is one of the better user videos I've seen of this nature. He explains the extensive rules succinctly, plays the TV series'...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
$25 from Amazon »

Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large group...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014
$35 - $60 from Etsy »

Jason and Katie Lister of Apocalypse Fab must know that two of my favorite things in life are superheroes and beverages that sweat rings onto my mama's coffee table. They've made it so now I can have both. Simultaneously....

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$35 from Amazon »

"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$300 from Kickstarter »

Sometimes it's humbling when you enter into the domain of professionals and hobbyists who do things that both blow your mind and make you feel like a complete jackass for your inability to understand how they accomplish any...

Sunday, March 23, 2014
$16.23 from Amazon »

Well I know I would like a Batman mini pizza and some Martian Manhunter cupcakes for lunch today. And The Official DC Super Hero Cookbook says it is suitable for use by people ages 6 and up, so even if my mama refuses to make...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014
$499.95 - $599.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This nightstand with a built-in dog house looks swell until you see it with the dog closed inside. Then it looks like a solitary confinement chamber used for enemy spies. And even if your dog chews and pees on things in such...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$6.40 from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side when...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$120k - $170k from Legacy Power Wagon »

The Legacy Power Wagon. As the name suggests, it isn't new, but with only a handful crafted per year--by artisan auto mechanics at Legacy Classic Trucks in Jackson Hole, Wyoming--it remains one of the truck world's most coveted...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Wednesday, April 2, 2014
$99 from Amazon »

At first I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for Amazon to spend 42 seconds of its 60-second Fire TV video promo filming Gary Busey talking to his lamp, his pants, and his living room dinner bell, but in the end I had to concede...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$7.99 from Amazon »

Liven up the holidays--at least for yourself--with Prank Packs, fake gift boxes with intricately detailed photos and explanations of products just bizarre enough to be ridiculous, but just believable enough in enterprising...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$35.98 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke;...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Though restricted to 30mW and 1.5W laser rather than actual plasma energy, Patrick Priebe's replica Plasma Cutter from the Dead Space video game series will still singe a block of wood and sear through a trash bag, and make...