A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, January 31, 2014
$13 from Amazon »

Eggs. They're almost as fragile as cats and guinea pigs. Better suit them up for the battle then. The battle they're still going to lose with my stomach. Sorry little hard-boiled ovo-knights. You're just no match for my brutishly...

Saturday, December 14, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

In Star Wars: The Blueprints, "the meticulously researched text gives voice to the groundbreaking and brilliant engineers, designers, and artists that have, in film after film, created the most imaginative and iconic locales."...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$604 - $768 from B Go Beyond »

I can't fit inside it. That's the primary downside to B, a patent-pending, remote-controlled car-helicopter hybrid capable of plowing along unfriendly terrain and then, when said terrain turns too rugged, lifting off and flying right over it. At first I thought maybe I could--its creator, Witold Mielniczek, lives in Southampton, UK, and we've all come to expect the Brits to make things bigger on...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011
$18.95 from Zazzle »

Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option...

Friday, September 20, 2013
$10.41 from Amazon »

How do you declare a thumb war in Wookieespeak? Yeah, that's right, 1, 2, 3, Raaawwwrrr! Time to suit up, buckle down, and probably tie one on, Cornelius, because I challenge you to a lightsaber duel. From the knuckles down....

Sunday, April 21, 2013
$12 from Etsy »

Superheros and their nemeses covering the keys of my MacBook? Yahtzee! I mean, Shazam! Never before did I realize how boring and uninspired a black-and-white keyboard really is. Thank you, superhero skin genius Killer Duck, for opening my eyes and leading my escape of the minimalist monotony of Apple, Inc. Also, I like Zorro, so it's cool you subbed him in for Zatanna on the "Z" because you didn't...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$99.99 from Brookstone »

The Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard is cool, but palm-sized? Come on, technology, you can do better than that. Let me see thumb-sized. Let me see belly button-sized. Let me see...oh, you have thumb-sized now? A Keychain Laser...

Thursday, January 16, 2014
$39.95 from Amazon »

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't eat a zucchini under any circumstances. But a zucchini that's been shaved? Hmmm, I don't know. See, when it comes to girls I...well, anyway, I guess it's safe to say that if an ugly, stumpy...

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$199.98 from Amazon »

I guess Alpinestars' Web Gore-Tex boots are technically meant for use while riding motorcycles, but when I look at them I can't help but think they would also be terrific footwear for walking on the moon. Aren't those even...

Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

According to The Big Coloring Book of Sex Positions, "Sex curls our toes, sparks our imagination, delightfully stimulates a multitude of sensations, makes us have funny faces, makes us docile and makes us crazy." Apparently...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$39 - $127 from Broquet »

Broquets are cornucopias of real man stuff sent to real men...plus women who don't want no stinkin' roses, and would rather have a vat of hot sauce that puts hair on their chest than a box of chocolates that puts pounds on...

Monday, February 20, 2012
Discontinued

And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from every...

Monday, April 16, 2012
$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic, this...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$886 - $1,271 from Jolan van der Wiel »

Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel not only created these Fraggle-Rock-meets-Super-Mario-Brothers-meets-Gotham-City hybrids, he also created the simple wood-framed machine used to forge them. Summoning the forces of gravity...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$149 from Petcube »

Does your pet give you a forlorn look of abandonment that stirs an overwhelming sense of guilt in your heart and makes you feel like a complete a-hole every time you leave the house? More importantly does this typical bundle...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$89.95 from Etsy »

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry enough...

Monday, August 22, 2011
$200 from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit an...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Discontinued

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$22.99 from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$21.59 from Amazon »

I was doing some soul searching for ways in which I might class up my life, and not 5 minutes in, as if poised to instantly answer my prayers, I locked eyes with this gallon-sized flask. Isn't it beautiful? Brushed finish....

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$14.25 - $20.35 from Amazon »

It's an AT-AT. Costume. For your dog. I know Halloween is still 2 months and 14 days away, but I sense these babies are going to sell out quick come October 1st. And anyway, a lot of dog owners get a charge out of dressing...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$1,200 from Etsy »

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian aesthetics...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
By: Nike

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair and never...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Giveaway: Rhino Shield Screen Protectors 53
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of any 2 Rhino Shield impenetrable screen protectors, courtesy of Dude and Rhino Shield creators, Evolutive Labs (up to an $80 value). The Shields have been fabricated to fit and protect smartphones...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smooth, full-flavored, and chock full of vitamins, carrot cigarettes fill the void in the health-conscious segment of the tobacco industry. Smokers looking to refine their habit, or live past the age of 60, and non-smokers...

Saturday, August 31, 2013
$32.22 from Firehouse Pantry »

Sometimes I wonder what I'll do if one day I don't want the Kraft Mac & Cheese my mama or Bob Evans serves me. Like, what if I want Kraft mini wieners* & cheese or Kraft Jet-Puffed Jumbo Mallows & cheese? Or, screw all this...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$39 from Topatoco »

Brandon Bird created this Squid Flame hoodie, a clever piece of gear for all the fans of fantastical sea beasts and marine biologists out there. It is unclear, though, if Bird or someone on online retailer Topatoco's payroll...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013
$25 from Plotagon »

You know the millions and millions of words of fanfic piled up across the Internet? Thanks to Plotagon, they're about to be joined by millions and millions of seconds of fanflick. Not that I'm complaining. I like a good alternate...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Friday, September 21, 2012
$99 from Amazon »

If looking like a complete schmo in an Ostrich Pillow means that I can sleep through transcontinental flights and my boss' stories about his Junior Samba Champion grandson, then bring on the gawks and guffaws. I won't see...

Sunday, March 4, 2012
$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want to go...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$24.95 - $55.95 from Society 6 »

Obviously the only one of these celebrities who really sat for his French Republican Guard...or whatever...portrait in the 19th century is Chuck Norris because he's immortal and easily over 200 years old. The rest are fakes...

Friday, June 29, 2012
$79 from Store Envy »

Michael Alen calls his Kickstarter project Hero HoodieZ. The first in what Alen hopes will be a series of superhero-inspired hooded zip-ups spotlights crime-fighting vigilante Nightwing. The hoodie, available in both traditional...

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The 21st century: where dog food is for humans, and human beds are for dogs. Oh, and you can also wear the Internet on your face. Murphy’s Paw Design and Clark | Richardson Architects have developed two Barkitecture-award-winning...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$102.84 from Amazon »

Following WWII, the US Army Aviation Branch sought to upgrade their soldiers' Aircrew Survival Egress Knives, or ASEKs. Required specs included: the ability to cut through both aircraft bodies and acrylic/glass windows; designs...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$14.12 from Amazon »

Ideas? I have lots of them. At least 7 million. Like, how about a southern soul food sushi roll? Fill a steamed collard green leaf with mashed yams, tempura chicken, and some cranberry sauce. Then roll it, slice it, and serve...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
$63.79 from Costume Craze »

Costume Craze has released a whole line of Second Skin Star Wars suits for 2013, but I feel like if a man is going to put a definitive outline of the family jewels on display, the face of a Wookiee would complement them much...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
$13.06 from Amazon »

Here we have a book about one of my favorite topics. Yeah, that's right. Origami. Apologies that the only samples I could find during my Google image search of the sexy paper creation instructions contained in Pornogami: A...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$32,505 from BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy or...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$39.95 from Amazon »

Can you imagine the anxiety, frustration, and ultimate sheer madness a one-way-mirror birdfeeder is going to cause in cats? As a passionate cat hater, I'm buying six. You think it's funny when you jump on my lap, nudging and...

Monday, March 4, 2013
$149 from Mycestro »

Controlling objects through abracadabra gestures seems to be a hot trend right now. So can someone please make me a Mycestro 3D Mouse ring or MYO Armband that, in addition to manipulating my PC, will also abracadabra my dog's...

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's time to play Big Brother to our hermit crabs. No more covert ops in your sea shells, no more partaking in nefarious activities tucked away out of sight. Robert DuGrenier has your number, you sneaky crustaceans. From his...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores over an open flame is such grand fun. At least until someone falls into the burning ring of fire and doesn't live to sing about it like Johnny Cash. Then it's kind of a downer. Avoid...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Here's Gotham City burning slowly to the ground. And off-gassing oozy Penguin blood in the process. And a few doors down, the skyscrapers of the capital of Candy Land are suffering the same fate. Up in flames and melting into...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$14.81 from Amazon »

On the one hand, it's almost time to decorate for Halloween, so a zombie lawn flamingo would be a very wise purchase. And on the other hand, it's always time to class up the front yard, so a zombie lawn flamingo would again...

Thursday, July 19, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

According to Soft Goat, "Scruffy is sexy!" And given that scruffy means unshaven and unshaven means me not having to partake in the laborious task of shaving every morning, it appears I have finally succeeded in my quest to...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$7.49 from Amazon »

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth incinerator...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013
$129 from BikeSpike »

Maybe if theft hadn't plagued the rough & tumble town I grew up in, I would have learned to ride a bike when I was little. Genetic blessings of coordination and proprioception could have contributed to my cause too. Kids today...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012
$59.90 from Amazon »

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over....

Monday, July 29, 2013
$13.93 - $29.99 from Amazon »

The Glo-toob is a banded top for ladies that burns swooning neon green, blue, red, white, or amber straight from their chesticular areas to your heart. Oh wait, no. Wrong glowing product that sounds like "boob". Correction:...

Sunday, November 3, 2013
$32k - $42,700 from TWIKE »

What about this TWIKE-mobile am I missing? I mean, sure, a dual electric/manpowered vehicle controlled by a joystick is kind of a nifty novelty. And that the German trike that could can achieve speeds of 50 mph with the combined...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$15 from Brando »

This USB lighter with a UV light for counterfeit bill detection should be a pretty sweet combo for drug dealers. Get handed a $100, see it's a fake on the spot, burn it to bits, kick the scammer's ass to next Tuesday, and...

Monday, June 17, 2013
$199 - $499 from Ferrite »

In researching all of the uses for Interactive Ferrofluid Sculptures, I found myself continuously returning to one standout: time waster. The hypnotizing borosilicate glass vials filled with mutable elemental amoebas will...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$19.73 from Amazon »

Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

Why is it that every photo I could find of this Comfort-U Total Body Pillow depicts a lady using it? Do men not want to experience the soothing, womb-like coziness of a giant stuffed parabola? Do we eschew the possibility...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$7.37 from Amazon »

I hear Pasta Boobs pair best with cream-based sauces. I hear Pasta Boobs should be cooked al dente if you want them to stay firm. I hear if you serve Pasta Boobs to kids under 3, they'll only gnaw on the tips. I hear...eh...

Monday, June 25, 2012
$80 from Etsy »

And suddenly, the intense inaction and sporadic finger movements of chess captivate the masses and enamor even those who have no idea what the hell is going on. Erotic chess pieces abound in Etsy vendor Nicola Ford's online...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice or heed...

Saturday, November 10, 2012
$29.95 from Amazon »

What better way to enjoy giving a gift as much as receiving one than to present it to its recipient in a Puzzle Pod? For this DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will likely...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of your...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

Who doesn't love avocados? Besides people who hate avocados? No one! And one tool all avocado lovers should have is three tools! In one! OXO's 3-in-1 avocado slicer slits, pits, slashes, and scoops fleshy green about-to-be-guacamole...

Friday, December 14, 2012
Discontinued

You-Vision Video Glasses don't do the I-spying for you, but they do allow you to film what your little eye sees. In HD. A tiny camera built into the bridge of the glasses records full motion video with the push of a button...

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Saturday, September 14, 2013
$171 from Etsy »

A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...

Friday, March 29, 2013
$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire designs...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$477 - $525 from bublcam »

What better way to prove you've got balls than to show 'em? That's the cue photography seems to be taking from projects such as the Panono and, here, the bublcam. A baseball-sized spherical camera, bublcam houses 4 equidistant...

Saturday, March 9, 2013
$30 from Sober Up »

I sure hope my balance, mental clarity, and liver are enjoying themselves right now because my rippin' headache has yet to feel the benefits of Sober Up, the detoxification enhancer I just chugged like Kool-Aid. I know of...