Big Red Button Rage Relief Device

$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

It doesn't connect to an ejection seat or the trap door above a tank swarming with electric eels and Mariah Carey after a 3-day fast, but the Big Red Button rage relief device does provide considerable catharsis for the...

blk. - Black Bottled Water

$47.76 from Amazon »

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

ZDay Blades & Bludgeons

$75 - $945 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Missy Elliott's lyrical masterpiece "Ching-A-Ling", "This is serious maaannnn!" Etsy vendor ZDay Survivor's extensive collection of hand-chiseled, zombie-eradicating blades and bludgeons don't...

Firebox 5" Folding Campfire Stove

$67.98 from Amazon »

From minimalist survival treks to broke down cars in the middle of nowhere to the squirrel I took out with my Big Bore blowgun that my mama won't let me cook up in her house, Firebox's 5" Folding Campfire Stove will provide...

StormFly - PC for Your Wrist

A PC for your wrist. A Cloud bracelet. An unassuming, yet hi-tech piece of jewelry called StormFly. With a much bigger emphasis on the hi-tech than the jewelry part. The StormFly is a self-proclaimed Ludicrous Speed storage...

Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails

By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...

Portal GLaDOS Ring

$14.80 - $92 from Shapeways »

Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating Systems now come in finger-sized. GLaDOS rings make it easy for all to show off their loyalty to the eye of Portal's most beloved piece of sociopathic artificial intelligence. Created...

Jean Shorts Underwear

Nothing I could say would contribute any more to your perception of these jean shorts underwear than the pictured model with the girly figure and manly package. From that you can take away: 1) They're denim boxer briefs...

Ninja Sphere Environment Controller

$225 - $575 from NinjaBlocks »

The next generation of Ninja Blocks, a hackable tech warrior system enabling users to monitor and control their households from afar, has removed all right angles, increased its functionality, and gone balls to the wall...

Laser Gloves

Dudes, watch the whole video. Or at least fast forward to the final 20 seconds to behold the reasons why your life will not reach its full potential until it can count Laser Gloves as part of it. The match-igniting, balloon-popping...

26-Pound Gummy Python

$149.99 from Vat 19 »

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...

Wicked Optical Illusion

 

Believe it or not, the blue and green in this image are actually the same color. Seriously. No, I'm not joking. I was calling my eyes liars too, but it's true. If you save the image and open it in Photoshop, you'll clearly...

Keypad Fix Remote Control Reviver

$4.95 from Amazon »

Now this looks like a fun project for a Wednesday night. Gather up all of the remote controls with buttons to which I must apply approximately 18 kilonewtons of force* to get to work, and fix them with some goo that looks...

Wine Purse

$62.99 from Amazon »

So is this why women carry around purses the size of their chest cavities? They're packing 3 liters of wine (with complete tapping system!) everywhere they go?...

Intelliskin PostureCue Clothing

$80 - $130 from Amazon »

If your spine is headed toward Quasimodo-dom, but you don't want to shell out international shipping--or up to twice the base price in cash--for an Up Shirt, Intelliskin's line of shirts, tanks, tees, and sports bras...

Luminol Spray

$11 from Amazon »

This 2 oz. bottle of Luminol contains the exact formula used worldwide by Crime Scene Investigators. The way you get its blue chemiluminescence to show is simple. 1) Bleed all over something. 2) Clean it up. 3) Spray...

Executive Knight Pen Holder

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Your Paper Mate Fine Point Rollerball, my Lord. Yeah. That's how all men of my stature should be handed their pens. Though maybe I would have my bowing-in-reverence Executive Knight hold an UZI Defender tactical model...

Alcohoot Smartphone Breathalyzer

$79.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

A 2014 Red Dot Award Winner, the Alcohoot attaches to iOS and Android smartphones to tell those who have had a couple how likely "a couple" is to get them into trouble. The portable breathalyzer plugs into a phone's headphone...

Flare Super Efficient Rocket Science Pans

$32 - $125 from Lakeland »

Thomas Povey is a rocket scientist at Oxford University. But when he's not applying his thermodynamics expertise to advanced jet engines, he kicks back and thinks about how it might enable him to fry his eggs and blood...

Tactical Beer Mug

$224.99 - $249.99 from Optics Planet »

According to the cats in the OPMOD Battle Mug video, you can do everything with this souped up, military-spec, solid aluminum beer stein that you can do with your AR. Deck it out with a scope, laser sight, holo sight...

Paintball Airow Gun

Sold Out from Amazon »

To those who call paintball "just a game," prepare to have your pieholes slapped shut by the barrel of a .68-cal Bow-mount Airow Gun. The pellet blaster attaches to a compound or recurve bow and swaps out CO2 cartridges...

Halfpops - Half-popped Popcorn

$23.84 from Amazon »

Halfpops are the Hans & Franz of popcorn. Where sissy girly men might eat airy, puffy, pouf clouds for snacks, real Alphas eat Halfpops. Halfpops take your regular popcorn kernels and [clap] pump them up. Less popping...

Hovertrax Auto-Balancing Transporter

$995 from Inventist »

The Hovertrax has no learning curve and requires no skills to use, which is good because you can bet that if I'm too lazy to walk myself down the street or hallway, I am definitely too lazy to learn how to use a complex...

Unicorn in a Narwhal Sculpture

$1,500 from Kozyndan »

Holy crap, it's fantastical beast overload! It almost hurts to look at it, it's so stirring and extraordinary. And, according to the unicornarwhal sculpture's creators, it also explains a lot. How can a whale with a ginormous...

Zelda Poe Soul in a Bottle Necklace

$15 from Etsy »

If I killed dead a being of pure hatred and encapsulated it in its lantern, I'd take the rupees from the Poe Collector for it rather than let it dangle from my neck so dangerously close to my heart. Sure Poe Souls can...

Plixi Folding Bike Helmet

$100 from Overade »

The Plixi helmet is kind of like origami, if origami were made from ABS and expanded polystrene and could save you from massive head trauma. So I guess in a way it's better than origami. From Paris-based Overade, the...

Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader

Discontinued

It may not muster the technological sophistication of the Kuratas rideable battle mech, but I'd still rather have Dustin Kiska's Aliens Caterpillar P-5000 Power Loader replica because Kiska built all 200 pounds of it...

Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$19 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

HotTug - Hot Tub Tug Boat

$14,900 from Hot Tug »

Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and...

Electromagnetic Field Protection Pendant

$99.95 from Amazon »

Remember when all we had to worry about, in terms of having our brains fried or growing a tumor, was power lines and standing in front of the microwave? Oh man, if my mama caught me lingering too close to the microwave...

Nomad Desktop CNC Mill

$1,999 from Carbide 3D »

Know what the Nomad CNC milling machine means? Now in addition to dicking around with the little tchotchkes I have lined up on my desk at work all day, I can make even more to join them! Plastic cars, wooden boats, aluminum...

Paper Log Maker

$29.99 from Amazon »

Look like less of a redneck burning your trash with this handy paper log maker. The deep metal box accepts newspapers, junk mail, cardboard, wood chips, and wrapping paper, but probably not Taco Bell bags because the...

EmoSpark AI Home Console

$260 - $315 from Emospark »

If Her creeped you out (and let's face it, just looking at Joaquin Phoenix for more than 30 seconds straight can sometimes do the trick) get ready to have your stomach turned inside out again: EmoSpark, an Android-powered...

Easy Wedge Car Lock-Out Kit

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Big Easy Glo is an Easy Wedge kit from Steck that assists motorists in retrieving the keys that lay mocking them from inside their locked cars as they stand outside on the pavement swearing and kicking pigeons. No...

Bison Airlighter

$99.95 from Bison »

The Bison Airlighter ejects a 4" flame to ignite charcoal and wood, and then blows a shot of air into its ear to spread the fire and get it really hot. As an air-driven lighter it claims to be faster, cleaner, and safer...

Street Legal Airplane

Here comes the airplane! And, holy crap, it's cutting off Lambos and riding the asses of Ducatis. We've seen the motorcycle that flies with the Hoverbike. Now it's time to behold the airplane that's street legal--under...

Fish Aquarium Sink

$4,500 from Opulent Items »

Moving goldfish out of the living room and into the bathroom for a perfect view of what will surely be their place of final burial, down the toilet, seems like an illogical move. That is, until you see this awesome fish...

Brutus the Bulldog Self Defense Keychain

$6.19 from Amazon »

Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar...

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Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter

Giveaway: Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter

Enter to win your very own Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter from SpyHawk (a $220 value)! A true RC toy for the 21st century, this flier is compact and lightweight, with a 3 megapixel eagle eye that reports all that it sees on...

Cocoon 1 - Bubble Abode

$2,990 from Pjadad »

The Cocoon 1 is for that sort of selfish kind of privacy people seek. The kind that means no one can bother or make any demands of them, but they can still watch and hear and pass judgment on what's going on with everyone...

Viking Horns Hand Crank Siren

$79.95 from Amazon »

According to vendor Viking Horns, the quick rundown on their hand crank siren is as follows. Color: Dark Gray. Sound Output: 115 decibels. Construction: Metal housing. Operation: Manual hand lever. Ideal Use: Getting...

Dark Knight Leather Armor

$2,500 from Imperial Armories »

So this Dark Knight isn't quite like the Dark Knight you and I are used to. Well, I mean I guess he would be if our Dark Knight lived in a 16th century video game and were as into the color red and the world of S&M as...

Skeleton Key Mini-Tool

Triple Aught Design's Skeleton Key is a crafty piece of EDC with a versatile anatomical structure and bones US-made of solid 6AL-4V titanium billet. Not just a multi-tool but, in its attractive and svelte package, a mini-tool...

Cabana Shirt Pool Float

$34.35 from Amazon »

Garcon! Bring me a pina colada--extra umbrellas!--and a big plate of fried plantains with salsa and guacamole. Fresh mashed poolside, please....

The Homer Car

Homer Simpson, at the behest of Herb, who felt his company needed a vehicle that would entice the "average" American, once designed a car encompassing the precise attributes he himself wanted atop 4 wheels. The result:...

Attacknids Combat Creatures

$49.99 - $119.95 from Amazon »

Combat Creatures' Attacknids are rugged, obstacle-crushing RC toys that also, true to their name, engage each other (or my neighbor's cat Willard) in combat. Models include the Stealth and Vanguard Stryders, which fire...

Big Bore Hunting Blowgun

$19.99 from Amazon »

This is a Cold Steel Big Bore Hunting Blowgun. It is 4' long with a 3mm barrel and target-style mouthpiece for firing .625 magnum darts. No cheap materials or shoddy assembly here either. Made of polymer, rubber, and...

Superhero Stained Glass Prints

$8 - $25 from Etsy »

Marissa Garner of Fay Productions makes all of these superhero stained glass prints with transparency paper, ink, a printer, and geek-laden love. Just tape one to a window and let the light shine in to get--Holy 50% opacity...

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Unleash the Summer Mystery Box

Giveaway: Unleash the Summer Mystery Box

Not sure what you need to make Summer 2014 one of Weekend at Bernie's meets The Hangover proportions? We've got you covered. What you need is...a mystery. A mystery that will be revealed only after you enter to win Dude's...

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Urbantrike Adult Big Wheel

Giveaway: Urbantrike Adult Big Wheel

Enter to win your very own Atticus big boy big wheel, courtesy of Urbantrike (a $495 value)! The ultimate low-riding cruiser for adults will be awarded to one lucky Dude reader drawn at random. Just fill out the entry...

Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket

$64.99 from Amazon »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but...

Geochron World Map & 24-Hour Clock

$1,795 - $4,295 from Geochron »

The Geochron is one of the coolest maps I ever saw. Not only is it all big and backlit, but the map itself is a conveyor belt driven left to right in sync with the earth's rotation. So at any given time the Geochron and...

Curling Pan - Shapeshifting Cutting Board

Right now Juan Lee's Curling Pan is just a concept. A wicked concept that Juan better make happen because a cutting board that curls up into a frying pan when it hits the heat of a stovetop burner? Holy balls that's some...

Meindl Retractable Spike Boots

$377 from Pro Idee »

They're like Wolverine claws for the bottom of your feet. These Meindl retractable spike boots stick it to ice and snow with their patented, perfect traction Tec Vision spike system. When wearers flip out the boots' heel...

Star Wars Bantha Dog Costume

$18.74 from Amazon »

Even though the Shetland Sheepdog wearing this Bantha dog costume looks paralyzed with fear and has his tail planted so firmly between his legs it's probably corking his bunghole, I'm pretty sure he likes it. Right, Gingerbread?...

The Underwater Suite

By: Hilton »

Amazing restaurant / hotel suite under the crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean off the coast of the Maldives. Is there a cooler hotel room in the world? No. The answer is no....

Circuit Scribe Conductive Rollerball Pen

Sold Out from Amazon »

A few random soundbites from Circuit Scribe, a rollerball pen filled with magical (i.e., specially developed reactive silver) ink that enables users of all ages with average or better fine motor skills to draw circuits...

Optical Illusion Growing/Shrinking Ring

$8.95 from Amazon »

Dude, I am such a sucker for things that regale and mesmerize without requiring me to determine which geometric proofs or laws of physics or wonders of nature make them work. That's why I fare so much better with optical...

Stealth Wear - Counter Surveillance Clothing

Privacy crusader Adam Harvey builds off of his last experiment with fashion as a means of confidentiality, CV Dazzle, with a new line of counter surveillance clothing termed Stealth Wear. While the CV Dazzle system focused...

Sushi Transformers

$10.99 - $79.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Behold the Sushi Squadron Shirada, an army of raw fish and rice bound by seaweed and mayonnaise. Or is it? An army, sure. But are those soldiers really seafood-based or are they...yes. That's what I thought. More than...

Pit Barrel Cooker

$299 from Amazon »

The Pit Barrel Cooker is like a smoker mashed with a Crock Pot mashed with a 55-gallon barrel of lube. Minus the lube. The self-described "vertical cooking experience" says it will heat and flavor perfect hunks of meat...

Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk

$33.24 from Amazon »

This is what I have to say about the Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk: sometimes, God does man a favor. Such as when He allows him to conceive and actualize pasties. Two nights in a row now, I've attended functions that randomly...

4-Person Picnic Cooler

$105.89 - $124.95 from Amazon »

Picnics are F'ing lame. At least that's what my friend Cornelius keeps reminding me I used to say before I began dating She-Ra: Princess of Power and became a "dopey-eyed golden retriever who likes pink wine and picnics."...

MiFi 2 Global Touchscreen Hotspot

The MiFi portable hotspot provides 4G WiFi to up to 10 devices in over 150 countries. Its touchscreen interface displays data usage, battery life, signal strength, and connected devices, plus enables the hotspot holder...

The SlideRider

By: Quirky »

Trisha Cleveland invented the SlideRider for children. She took the concept to Quirky, refined her indoor stair slide's design, and is now in the midst of exploring branding and pricing options with feedback from the...

Dotti Pixel-Art Notification Light

$69.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Here's a happy little block of blocks to add some entertainment and LED flair to your notifications. The Dotti lights up and serves as a canvas to pixelated art you can set to notify you of texts, emails, and social media...